The Virtual Couch

By: Tony Overbay LMFT
Listen for free

  • Summary

  • The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
    Copyright 2025 The Virtual Couch
    Show more Show less
Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Success Psychology
Show more Show less
Episodes
  • Live Q&A with Tony and Sydney - Navigating Mental Health: Highly Sensitive People, Narcissism, Emotional Immaturity, ADHD, and “Good Therapy”

    Live Q&A with Tony and Sydney - Navigating Mental Health: Highly Sensitive People, Narcissism, Emotional Immaturity, ADHD, and “Good Therapy”
    Jan 20 2025
    In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a live Q&A session originally aired on TikTok. The duo addresses a variety of mental health topics, including ADHD management, the importance of setting realistic New Year's resolutions, and how to navigate emotional boundaries in relationships. Listeners can learn about the differences between CBT and ACT therapy, how to handle emotional immaturity and narcissism in relationships, and practical strategies for dealing with ADHD, such as medication and increasing emotional tolerance. Tony and Sydney also discuss complex emotional topics like disassociation, rejection sensitivity, and the impact of childhood defense mechanisms on adult behaviors. For those unable to join live, the episode is available on Tony's Virtual Couch YouTube channel. Viewers are encouraged to submit their mental health questions for future episodes. 00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch 01:18 Live Q&A Introduction 02:37 Discussing New Year's Resolutions 03:36 Understanding Socially Compliant Goals 04:44 Experiential Avoidance Explained 05:31 Setting Realistic Goals 08:06 Addressing ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity 12:02 Navigating Emotional Immaturity in Relationships 18:08 Falling in Love Outside of Marriage 21:15 ADHD and Attachment Styles 23:35 Gaslighting: A Childhood Defense Mechanism 28:41 The Impact of ADHD Medication 42:10 Addressing Basic Needs 42:22 Exploring Non-Stimulant ADHD Medications 43:53 Understanding the Window of Tolerance 46:10 Thoughts on TMS Therapy 47:49 Discussing DPDR Disorder 49:25 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 52:36 Navigating Emotional Sensitivity and Boundaries 57:00 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 01:00:00 The Role of Therapy and Validation 01:11:07 Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Traits 01:20:33 Concluding Thoughts and Q&A Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch
    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 22 mins
  • I Feel Like... No, Wait, Actually I Think That… The Hidden Language of Emotions

    I Feel Like... No, Wait, Actually I Think That… The Hidden Language of Emotions
    Dec 12 2024
    Tony exposes something that will forever change how you hear conversations - including your own. That moment when someone says, 'I feel like you don't care' might not actually be about feelings at all..." Have you ever said "I feel like this isn't working," when what you really meant was, "I think this isn't working - and I'm scared"? In this eye-opening episode, Tony delves into the subtle but powerful difference between thoughts and feelings, revealing how this common confusion shapes our relationships in unexpected ways. Through engaging stories from his therapy practice, Tony shows how something as simple as saying "I feel like" when we mean "I think" can accidentally put others on the defensive and hide our true emotions. You'll discover why that matters more than you might think - especially in your closest relationships. Drawing from both clinical experience and relatable examples (including a story about forgotten tacos at a dinner party), Tony explores: - Why we often mask our true feelings behind thoughts - How childhood experiences shape our comfort with emotional expression - The surprising reason self-compassion feels threatening to many people - Practical ways to build a richer emotional vocabulary Once you understand this pattern, you'll start noticing it everywhere - in your conversations, in others' speech, and maybe even in your own internal dialogue. Visit Tony's new website https://tonyoverbay.com for additional resources on emotional intelligence and join his Patreon community at https://patreon.com/virtualcouch for exclusive content and Q&A sessions where you can dive deeper into these insights. This isn't just another episode about communication - it's about understanding why we hide our true feelings and how to finally express what we really mean. Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch 00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch 00:52 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms 01:20 Exciting Announcements and Facial Hair 03:07 Unseen Patterns and Hidden Meanings 05:49 The Power of Confirmation Bias 08:58 Thoughts vs. Feelings: A Therapy Insight 17:33 Emotional Vocabulary and Childhood Influences 23:20 Separating Observations from Judgments 24:03 Witness vs. Lawyer: A Car Accident Case 24:44 Applying the Concept to Relationships 25:39 Curiosity Over Judgment 27:15 Workplace Communication 29:37 The Taco Story: A Lesson in Self-Compassion 34:56 The Impact of Self-Criticism 39:13 Embracing Psychological Flexibility 40:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
    Show more Show less
    43 mins
  • The Balancing Act: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion

    The Balancing Act: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion
    Dec 6 2024
    Are you tired of the endless pursuit of perfection? Do you question why your self-esteem seems more tied to others' opinions than your own self-worth? In this transformative episode, Tony explores the crucial difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, drawing from Dr. Kristin Neff's groundbreaking research. Through personal experiences and scientific insights, Tony challenges our cultural obsession with self-esteem, revealing why the constant pressure to be "above average" creates an impossible and unhealthy standard for well-being. Learn how self-compassion offers a more sustainable path to genuine self-acceptance through its three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Tony delves into the fascinating neuroscience behind mindfulness practices, explaining how they physically rewire our brain for greater emotional regulation and self-awareness. Drawing from Viktor Frankl's profound insights as a Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning," Tony illustrates how finding meaning in our struggles can transform our relationship with ourselves and others. This episode provides both the scientific framework and practical tools needed to develop self-compassion in daily life. Whether you struggle with perfectionism, find yourself caught in comparison traps, or simply want to develop a more stable sense of self-worth, you'll discover why self-compassion offers all the benefits of high self-esteem without its potential downsides. Join Tony as he shares actionable strategies for transforming your relationship with yourself and finding peace in the simple truth that you're not broken - you're human. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Story 01:46 The Therapist's Dilemma: Hope vs. Reality 04:33 Exploring Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion 07:01 The Impact of Comparison and External Validation 11:02 Value-Based Goal Setting and Radical Acceptance 13:08 Parental Support and Secure Attachment 15:25 Listener Insights on Self-Esteem 16:32 Embracing Self-Compassion 23:22 Seeking Validation and Self-Compassion 24:16 Confessions of an Ultramarathoner 26:18 Accepting Mediocrity in Running 29:19 The Power of Self-Compassion 33:25 Mindfulness and Self-Kindness 35:19 A Personal Podcasting Challenge 39:21 Viktor Frankl's Wisdom on Meaning 45:23 The Journey of Self-Compassion
    Show more Show less
    47 mins

What listeners say about The Virtual Couch

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews

Amazon reviews
Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Mattmpotato

Fantastic.

This podcast is so fascinating. Tony has a brilliant way of sharing his thoughts and experiences in a way that makes it easy for me to understand him. I love listening to the Vitual Couch when I'm driving, gaming, and even sleeping!

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!