Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

- I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing counseling. In February 2025, he received a threatening call from the 'cartel' (not the first time in our marriage). Though he promises to change, I no longer believe him. I’m considering creating my own life in another state while he works on recovery. Should I continue in this marriage?

- After 29 years of marriage, I’m newly single following my husband’s affair. He’s a Christian pastor who walked away from our marriage, claiming God released him, while he’s with a younger woman. Six months after discovering his betrayal, I’m finally starting to recover from the shock. I’m left with our kids, the house, and all the responsibilities. I’m struggling with the pain and confusion, missing him at times, and questioning how to focus my desires on God long-term. Why is healthy sexuality so difficult for many, and where is the church's accountability?

- How do you deal with a husband's betrayal and the affair partner who gave birth to his baby 5 months ago? I made a decision to stay with him despite this but it is impossible to expect no contact when they have to communicate about the baby. Any suggestions?

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Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

• In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact?
• I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do?
• Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma.

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

APSATS Website

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)