Sports Humor

Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In a championship game, to the surprise and dismay of everyone, Rick actually got into the game and then provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of the NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams. But against enormous odds, Arnie finally locates another team that will have him: the mighty Panthers of Parma, Italy.

In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.

Dan Jenkins, sports novelist and writer for Golf Digest, continues the story of Bobby Joe Grooves in Slim and None.

The aging pro-golfer is now 44, and he just has to win a major this time around. Since the days when golfing was done with a shepherd's crook, only seven men have won a major after the age of 44. Bobby Joe figures his chances are slim and none.

Life is going pretty well for Raymond "Stick" Hart. He's happily married to the former Ponkaquogue Municipal Golf Club assistant pro, the beauteous Cajun firecracker Dannie, raising his rambunctious son, Charlie, and getting by writing smart-mouthed greeting cards for 50 bucks a pop. Then, one disaster of a day, Stick's world does a 10-car pile-up. Luckily, Stick has a solution to all his problems. He'll qualify for the British Open.

The third book in the #1 New York Times best-selling series from Jeff Kinney, The Last Straw is sure to please young readers. Greg Heffley makes a New Year's resolution to help others improve, but his brand of truthful advice doesn't go over well. Plus, Greg's dad thinks military school might be just the attitude adjustment Greg needs.

Sixth-grader Milo Neal plans to do a science project on "The Complete Life Cycle of a Link in the Food Chain". But when he brings his specimen - a baby chick - to class, everyone falls in love with the cute ball of fluff. Soon she has a name: Henrietta. Not only is Henrietta the class pet, she's even chosen as mascot for the school hockey team! How can Milo finish his project, which calls for frying up his specimen and serving it to the judges of the science fair?

Tanner Holt neither wants nor needs a wife. For the wealthy rancher, his daughter Chloe, foreman Josiah, and ranch hands are all the family he needs. Chloe Holt loves her dad, but she needs a mom. So, armed with her dad’s credit card, the ten-year-old finds them the perfect wife and mother. Hopefully, the pretty lady with the kind eyes will give them a chance… and her dad won’t ground her for life! Heather Ayer is down on her luck and has just done the craziest thing. She applied to a mail-order bride agency. Marrying a man she’s never met is crazy. Then again, maybe it’s the ...

Carter Jones is astonished early one morning when he finds a real English butler, bowler hat and all, on the doorstep - one who stays to help the Jones family, which is a little bit broken. In addition to figuring out middle school, Carter has to adjust to the unwelcome presence of this new know-it-all adult in his life and navigate the butler's notions of decorum. And ultimately, when his burden of grief and anger from the past can no longer be ignored, Carter learns that a burden becomes lighter when it is shared.

I just want to be naughty for one night of my life. I think I’d be really good at it... I need to escape. I’m a bad girl trapped in a good girl’s body. Perfect grades, star volleyball player, lead in the drama club. I know it’ll lead to a great career. But I need more. Just one night. In Ireland. On St. Patrick’s Day. Thousands of miles away from anyone who knows me. That’s how I met Dare Mackenzie. With fire in his emerald eyes, sinful promises on his lips. And an accent as intoxicating as the darkest stout. He keeps saying I’m too sweet, too innocent, too good. I dare you, ...

Mickey and the gang head to Italy to compete in the Race for the Rigatoni Ribbon. Between the stiff competition and a giant runaway meatball, do the Roadster Racers have a chance at winning the race?

Seventh on Sports Illustrated's Top 100 Sports Books of All Time, Dan Jenkins' Semi-Tough is a raucous, politically incorrect football spoof starring New York Giants' redneck star Billy Clyde Puckett. As Puckett records the outrageous buildup to his team's Super Bowl clash with cross-town rivals the Jets, his best friend's voluptuous main squeeze puts some knee-buckling moves on him that he finds difficult to dodge.

The New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Just Tyrus returns in his inimitable style with deeper reminiscences on the life that shaped him and how he views the world we're living in. A rare voice of reason and authentic storyteller who never holds back, Tyrus picks up where he left off in Just Tyrus, delivering a series of gut-wrenching, heart-rending, and redemptive tales from his remarkable life and coupling them with no-nonsense insights on the hottest issues being discussed around the country.

Legendary golf writer Dan Jenkins’s latest has been praised as “catnip for golf lovers” by Publishers Weekly. He delights with this hilarious sporting spoof of the PGA tour. Golf pro Bobby Joe Grooves is on a mission to qualify for the Ryder Cup team, but first he has to contend with his rival Knut Thorssun: “Knut the Nuke.”

Author Paul Torday makes his debut with this clever absurdist novel. Fisheries scientist Dr. Alfred Jones is approached by an extravagantly wealthy sheik with a novel plan. To foster goodwill, the sheik would like to introduce salmon fishing to Yemen - the same Yemen that is largely a desert - and politicians think it's a great idea.

Twelve-year-old Ben Ripley is not exactly the best student spy school has ever seen - he keeps flunking Advanced Self Preservation. But outside of class, Ben is pretty great at staying alive. His enemies have kidnapped him, shot at him, locked him in a room with a ticking time bomb, and even tried to blow him up with missiles. And he's survived every time. After all that unexpected success, the CIA has decided to activate Ben for real.

Michael Long is damaged. Broken. Dangerous. And the scars run deep. The only time his bear emerges is to viciously maim and kill. So when his mate shows up, right there on his family’s ranch, his only course of action is to avoid her. Daisy Hawkins is unavoidable. The kindergarten teacher may be as sweet as her name implies, but Daisy won’t take no for an answer. She’s not sure what comes over her when she set eyes on the tall, muscular rancher but so what if she’s never hit on a man before? Michael Long is the hottest man she’s ever seen. *BOOKS IN THIS SERIES INCLUDE:* Rancher ...

Olivia Harris is recovering from a nightmare. Most days she’s certain she will never be mentally healthy enough to rejoin the human race. Suffering from PTSD and experiencing severe anxiety attacks, she returns to her native Alaska to live in semi-seclusion in the little cabin she inherited from her father. Tucker Sterling struggles with a restless, unsettled bear that he is unable to tame. Nothing soothes his bear, not the six years he spent in the army’s Delta Force unit, not the multitude of nameless, faceless, women who share his bed, nothing—until Liv Harris returns to Port Ursa....

I was fake dating the Grumpy Quarterback only as a friendly gesture. To escape my ex, I pretended to kiss Adam I didn’t mind that he was my grumpy next-door neighbor We agreed to a fake engagement to boost his image and keep my ex away. As a lawyer, I ensured our fake dating contract was legit. All business, no feelings attached—or so I thought. When an NFL sponsor gave us an engagement trip to his resort, our connection developed quicker than a fourth-quarter comeback. With our pretend dates, long walks, and even little kisses, our hearts had turned friendship into love. Do we fumble ...

Bear shifter, Derek Holt, has finally achieved the pinnacle of fame as a platinum country recording artist. He just never thought it would leave him feeling so hollow inside. He knows just the woman who could fill his empty void, his assistant Red. But women like Red aren’t for men like him. As a single mom, the last thing Audrey Reid, a.k.a Red needs is a party guy like Derek Holt in her life. If only her brain could convince her heart to let go. This “babysitting” gig—accompanying Derek back to Jackson Valley to keep an eye on him—might make it harder than she thought to keep a ...

She’s a good girl. He’s a bad bear. Beverly Bow Mar finally has a chance to live her dream. She’ll start as an art gallery assistant in a few days. She’s worked so hard for this chance, and all she had to do was promise that she was not involved with her father or his vile clan of degenerates. Piece of cake. She wants nothing to do with them. She hasn’t so much as spoken to her father in years. Xavier, as a clan enforcer, is tasked with the unpleasant assignment of retrieving the alpha’s estranged daughter from the city and bringing her back to the clan clubhouse. Lovely. Go ...