What really matters—and what’s just noise? In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine invite you to hit pause and reflect with Chapter 25: “Decide What Matters Most.” If you’ve ever felt torn between speaking up or letting something go, this gentle nudge is for you.

What’s the Big Idea?

• Discover how to spot the difference between life’s real priorities and those little annoyances that try to steal your peace.
• Hear how Harry and Connie navigate tricky moments in family, work, and everyday life.
• Get inspired to build your own “green room” of trusted voices, so you can check your perspective before reacting.
• Walk away with a powerful question to ask yourself next time you’re caught in the moment (it might just change your day).

You won’t get a list of dos and don’ts here—just relatable stories, practical wisdom, and a few surprising insights that will have you examining what’s truly important. Whether you’re looking for tips on prioritization, self-reflection, or simply want to show up as your best self, this episode is packed with inspiration (and a little Victor Hugo for good measure).

Ready to focus on what matters most? Hit play and join us for a conversation that might just change the way you see your day.

(Mini-episode, maximum perspective—perfect for your next walk, coffee break, or moment of reflection!)

Reference Links:

Be the Sun, Not the Salt book

Tim Storey podcast episode: Miracle Mentality: Using Your Gifts

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever catch yourself feeling a little off your game? 🤔 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine explore Chapter 24: “Remember Who You Are” - your gentle nudge to reconnect with your best self, live authentically, and shine a little brighter every day.

Why does remembering who you are matter?

• 🌟 Identity shapes action: As James Clear puts it in Atomic Habits, every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become. When you act in line with your core values, everything else flows.
• 🧘‍♂️ Be heliotropic: Showing up as your true, positive self not only uplifts you but everyone around you-a triple win for personal growth, mindfulness, and positive relationships.
• 💡 Small moments, big impact: From picking up litter to pausing before a snarky comment, the little choices you make each day reinforce who you are and who you want to be.

Harry and Connie get real about the challenge of consistency-why it’s easy to know what your best self would do, but not always easy to do it. They break down the “five-to-one rule” (how negative moments sting way more than positive ones), and share practical stories about patience, mindfulness, and the magic of even the smallest acts of kindness.

Your gentle nudge: Next time you’re in a tough spot, ask yourself: “What would my best, most heliotropic self do right now?” Then do that. It’s simple, powerful, and the secret to living a sunnier, more fulfilling life.

Perfect for anyone searching for inspiration on personal growth, living authentically, mindfulness, and how to be your best self-even on the tough days. Tune in for heartfelt stories, actionable wisdom, and your weekly reminder to remember who you are and shine bright! 🌞

(Mini-episode, maximum impact-perfect for your next coffee break, commute, or mindful moment!)

Reference Links

Be the Sun, Not the Salt book

James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever feel like your emotions are running the show instead of you? 😵‍💫 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Ethan Kross, world-renowned expert on emotional regulation and bestselling author of Chatter and Shift. Together with Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine, Ethan dives deep into the science and practical tools for managing your inner voice, controlling emotional chatter, and harnessing your feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them.

What you’ll learn:

• 🧠 How managing your emotions boosts your thinking, performance, relationships, and health
• 🗣️ Why self-talk in the third person (“Ethan, you got this!”) can calm your mind and reduce stress
• ⏳ Additional simple, science-backed techniques like mental time travel, expressive writing, and sensory shifts to regulate emotions
• 🤝 The power of emotional advisors and social proof to help you gain perspective and resilience
• 💡 Why venting and rumination often backfire-and what to do instead

Harry and Connie share personal stories about putting Ethan’s tools into practice, from calming pre-dive nerves to leading with emotional steadiness in daily life. Whether you’re a leader, parent, or just someone who wants to feel less “salty” and more in control, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you be the sun, not the salt.

About Ethan Kross

Dr. Ethan Kross is a Professor in the University of Michigan’s Psychology Department and Ross School of Business, and director of the Emotion & Self-Control Lab. His groundbreaking research on emotion regulation and self-talk has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, and on major broadcasts like CBS Evening News and NPR’s Morning Edition. Ethan is the bestselling author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It and Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You.

Helpful Links

• Learn more about Ethan Kross and his research: University of Michigan Faculty Profile
• Get Chatter and Shift on Amazon
• Watch Ethan’s popular TED Talk on mastering your inner voice: YouTube
• Follow Ethan on X and Instagram @ethankross
• All about Be the Sun, Not the Salt

Tune in for this inspiring conversation that will change how you think about your emotions-and give you the tools to master your inner chatter for a healthier, happier life. 🌞

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever lost your cool over something tiny-like spilled coffee or a snarky email-and then realized it set the tone for your whole day? 😬 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine break down Chapter 23: “Keep Your Cool”-your go-to guide for stress management, emotional regulation, and staying calm under pressure.

Why does keeping your cool matter?

• 🧠 Practice makes peaceful: The more you handle life’s little annoyances with grace, the easier it gets when real crises hit. Think of every minor mishap as a “calmness simulation” for your brain!
• 😌 Your mood is contagious: Whether you’re a leader, parent, or friend, your reactions ripple out. Staying calm helps everyone around you feel safe and steady-even if you’re faking it till you make it.
• 🏆 Learn from slip-ups: Nobody’s perfect! When you do lose your cool, it’s just another chance to practice bouncing back, apologize, and do the next right thing.

Harry shares why even pilots and first responders practice staying chill, and Connie reveals her tricks for keeping her “game face” on-even when her insides are doing jumping jacks. From breathing tips to smiling through stress, you’ll get practical advice for handling everything from daily frustrations to big-time emergencies.

Perfect for anyone searching for tips on how to manage stress, keep calm at work, or be the steady presence your family needs. Tune in for real-life stories, gentle nudges, and your weekly reminder to keep your cool-no matter what life throws your way. 🌞

(Mini-episode, maximum calm-perfect for your next deep breath!)

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever found yourself knee-deep in an argument about chocolate vs. vanilla—or something way more personal, like politics or identity? 🍦🗳️ In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine shine a light on Chapter 22: “Smile and Move On.”

Here’s the real talk:

• 😁 Smile first, react later: Whether it’s a silly debate about ice cream or a deeply held belief, arguing rarely changes minds—especially when emotions or identities are involved. Instead, genuine conversation (not combat) is what leads to real understanding.
• 🧠 Pick your battles: Not every disagreement needs a winner. Sometimes, it’s just about sharing perspectives and moving forward without drama.
• 💬 Curiosity over combat: Connie shares how pausing, smiling, and asking a sincere question turned a tense political moment into a real, respectful conversation—no eye-rolling required!
• 🌈 Wrap it up with kindness: Ending with appreciation keeps relationships strong, even when you see the world differently.

Harry reminds us that most heated debates—whether about football or politics—are more about entertainment or venting than real solutions. The win? Choosing connection over being right, and letting go when the outcome won’t change.

Perfect for anyone who’s ever gotten sucked into a debate that went nowhere (so, all of us!). Tune in for laughs, real-life stories, and your weekly nudge to let go, smile, and move on. 🌞

(Mini-episode, major relief—perfect for your next deep breath!)

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever find yourself stewing over little things—like someone being late or leaving the cupboard open (again)? 🙃 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine dig into Chapter 21: “Release Your Pet Peeves”—your gentle nudge to let go of those everyday annoyances that just aren’t worth your peace.

What’s the big idea?

• 🧘‍♂️ Let it go, let it go: Holding onto pet peeves only keeps you mildly irritated and robs you of your own peace of mind.
• 🕵️‍♀️ Assume positive intent: Most of the time, people aren’t out to get you—they’re just living their lives (and sometimes running late).
• 💬 Talk it out, don’t stew: Instead of silently judging, try asking a curious question or having a light conversation about what’s bugging you.

Harry shares his classic peeve (lateness!) and how he’s learned (learning?) to smile and move on, while Connie reminds us that a little empathy and a simple question can turn a pet peeve into a non-issue. The real win? Releasing your peeves is less about letting others off the hook and more about protecting your own roots and living a lighter, happier life.

Perfect for anyone who’s ever muttered, “Why do people do that?!” Tune in for relatable stories, practical tips, and your weekly reminder to choose peace over petty. 🌞

(Mini-episode, maximum relief—perfect for your next deep breath!)

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

Episode 29: Gentle Nudge - Assume Positive Intent

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever felt like you deserved to stay mad? 😡 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine unpack Chapter 20: “Take the High Road”—a powerful reminder that holding onto anger only salts your own roots.

Key takeaways:

• 🌟 The high road is for YOU: Letting go of petty negativity isn’t about the other person—it’s about freeing yourself.
• ⏳ Work through it: Whether it takes two hours or two weeks, give yourself grace as you move toward letting go.
• 🧠 Don’t “feed the bad wolf”: Gossip and venting might feel good in the moment, but they rarely help in the long run.

Connie shares a relatable story of waking up still mad and realizing she needed to take the high road for her own well-being. Harry offers gentle nudges on how to stop fueling anger and bitterness—and why compassion for yourself is key when it feels hard to let go.

Perfect for anyone who’s ever struggled to move past frustration or resentment! Tune in for practical wisdom, heartfelt stories, and your weekly reminder to rise above the salt. 🌞

(Mini-episode, major inspiration—perfect for your next walk or coffee break!)

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Ever had someone say one thing but mean something totally different? 🙃 In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine dive into Chapter 19: “Make Your Motive Clear and Clean”—a gentle nudge to check your intentions before you speak or act.

Key takeaways:

• 💡 Say what you mean, mean what you say—but don’t say it mean: The golden rule of clear communication.
• 🧹 Check your motives: Are you being passive-aggressive or trying to “win”? Time for a little self-reflection!
• 🧠 Trust your gut: Why we can often sense when someone’s motives aren’t pure—and how to avoid being that person.

Harry shares stories about catching himself before making sarcastic comments (we’ve all been there!) and explains why even well-intentioned words can land badly if we’re not careful. Connie highlights how being upfront and kind creates trust—and why beating around the bush can make people uneasy.

Perfect for anyone who wants to communicate with more honesty and kindness! Tune in for practical tips, relatable laughs, and a reminder to keep your motives as clean as your words. 🌟

(Mini-episode, major impact—great for your next coffee break!)

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.