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The Epic List You've Been Waiting For: What Women Physicians Are DONE Caring About

Welcome back to the revolution, my friends. This is Part 2 of our "We Do Not Care Club" series, and today we're sharing the crowdsourced, unfiltered, absolutely brilliant list of things that women physicians are officially done caring about.

But first, let's give proper credit where it's due:

This entire movement exists because of Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) - an African-American content creator who courageously started sharing her perimenopause experience from a Whole Foods parking lot. She felt like a hot mess and decided she wasn't going to care about it anymore. That single moment of authenticity has created a viral movement with over a million followers and has been featured in the New York Times and on Katie Couric's platform.

Melani gave women permission to speak up about experiences we've been silent about for far too long. This is her movement, and we're honored to be part of it.

Why This Matters for Women Physicians

We are a special group. We care for others professionally, but we're also women navigating our own health transitions in a system that expects us to be superhuman. We've been socialized to:

• Care that our appearance is 100% professional
• Never show emotions (while somehow conveying empathy)
• Be team players who give 110% but never be "too loud"
• Micromanage our appearance more than our male colleagues
• Put everyone else first, always

The result? We're exhausted from caring about the wrong things.

The Epic List: What We Do NOT Care About Anymore

Note: This list came directly from women physicians who responded to my call. It's unorganized on purpose - because perimenopause isn't organized, and we're giving ourselves permission to say "this is good enough."

The Medical System BS We're Done With:

• Online wellness modules (seriously, stop)
• C-suite leadership telling us to be more "resilient" (we hate that word)
• Insurance formularies and their secrecy
• Efficiency training and metrics (we're just trying to get through the day)
• Corporate medicine profitability
• Academic titles earned by sacrificing mental health
• Executives losing money because we did the right thing for patients

Patient Nonsense We're Over:

• "What you saw on TikTok" (vinegar isn't going to help here)
• How happy people look in drug commercials (you don't have rheumatoid arthritis)
• The internet telling you that you have ADHD (it's probably perimenopause)
• How "explosive" your diarrhea was (that doesn't help me help you)
• College roommate's third cousin's reaction to sertraline (it's still a good choice)
• Kardashians getting full-body MRIs

Life Stuff We're Liberated From:

• Wearing bras (special shoutout to the contributor who said "I only have one nipple after canc

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

What if you could stop wasting your precious brain energy on things that don't deserve it?

Welcome to a very special edition of Ending Physician Overwhelm, where we're diving deep into the revolutionary concept of the "We Do Not Care Club" – specifically designed for perimenopausal women physicians who are DONE with burning themselves out for a system that doesn't value them.

Shoutout to Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) for creating this life-changing movement that's resonating with millions of women!

The Truth Bomb You Need to Hear

We care. We care A LOT. But here's what's killing us: we've been pressured and scared into caring about things that are literally destroying our well-being, our families, and our ability to practice medicine the way we know it should be practiced.

It's time to stop. It's time to reclaim your power. It's time to join the club.

The 3 Permission Slips You Need Right Now

🔹 Permission Slip #1: You Are NOT Expendable or Replaceable

We do not care about the lie that you're just another cog in the medical machine.

The truth? You are irreplaceable. Your expertise, your experience, your special sauce of care – that cannot be replicated. Yes, they might hire someone else, but they will never replace YOU.

Stop living in fear. Stop working yourself to the bone hoping to "earn" respect that should already be yours. The finish line where you'll finally be valued? It doesn't exist, and that's not your fault.

What would happen if every woman physician walked out tomorrow? The system would collapse. Because we provide safer care, safer surgeries, better patient outcomes. We are the backbone of medicine.

🔹 Permission Slip #2: Your Human Needs Actually Matter

We do not care that the system expects you to work like a robot.

You need food. You need bathroom breaks. You need REAL time off (not vacation days spent getting colonoscopies). You need adequate maternity leave. You need to be able to call in sick without guilt.

The pushback you'll get when you start taking care of yourself? That's their problem, not yours. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and eventually, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to show up for anyone.

🔹 Permission Slip #3: Your Critical Thinking Skills Are Your Superpower

We do not care if using your brain makes leadership uncomfortable.

You were trained to think critically, to question, to evaluate. But somehow, when you use these skills to challenge policies or advocate for better patient care, suddenly you're "not a team player."

This is medicine's biggest contradiction: they pay you to think, then punish you for thinking.

Your Mission for Part 2

I want to hear from YOU. What are the things you do not care about anymore? Send me:

• Instagram message: @MeganMeloMD
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Let's build our collective list for Part 2 (dropping July 8th)!

One Thing I'll Share Right Now

I do NOT care if your "normal"

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

What You'll Learn

Life doesn't pause for your perfect plans. Whether it's a scary diagnosis, staffing changes, or family emergencies, curveballs are coming. But here's what we don't talk about enough: how to navigate these storms with self-compassion instead of burning yourself out trying to hustle through everything.

In this episode, we're diving deep into four powerful strategies that will help you maintain your sanity when everything feels like it's falling apart.

The Reality Check We All Need

As physicians and high achievers, we're masters at rallying our resources and throwing 120% into whatever crisis hits us. But that unsustainable hustle? It's not always helping us. The real challenge is learning to sit in the discomfort of knowing there might not be a whirlwind of actions that will magically fix everything.

Think about navigating a cancer diagnosis - yours or a loved one's. You know the steps that need to happen, you understand the system, but you have to sit in the uncomfortable slowness of how care actually unfolds. You can't hustle your way through waiting for biopsy results or treatment plans.

Four Game-Changing Strategies

1. Recognize Your Hustle Pattern (And When It Doesn't Serve You)
We need to acknowledge that yes, we're incredible at problem-solving and taking action. But some problems have to unfold over time. They can't be managed with our usual "throw everything at it" approach.

The work: Sit in the discomfort of not being able to fix everything immediately. Breathe through it. This is part of being human.

2. Know Your Thought Loops (And Have Compassionate Responses Ready)
During stress, your brain falls into familiar patterns. Maybe it's "I'm trapped" or "I don't know what to do" or "I'm not good enough." These thoughts will spin endlessly if you let them.

The breakthrough: You don't have to stop having these thoughts to make progress. The goal is recognizing the pattern and responding with compassion. When that familiar thought loop starts, pause and offer yourself a gentler alternative: "I'm not stuck - I'm choosing to be here for my family."

3. Allow Yourself Stress Responses (Without Judgment)
We all have them. Maybe it's shopping (hello, perfectly stocked pantry), scrolling social media, or reaching for that extra glass of wine. Some stress responses are relatively harmless, others cross into potentially harmful territory.

The balance: It's okay to scratch the itch sometimes, as long as you're not causing harm to yourself or others. But also recognize that these responses aren't actually addressing the underlying emotion. Ask yourself: "What do I really need here? What am I really seeking?"

A note on alcohol: If you find yourself turning to wine or other alcohol to soothe your nervous system, please consider whether this is tiptoeing into harmful territory. I'm not your mom, but as an obesity medicine physician, I see this pattern slip into problems more often than we'd like to admit.

4. Push the Easy Button (Seriously)
How can you make things easier for your future se

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD