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The Epic List You've Been Waiting For: What Women Physicians Are DONE Caring About

Welcome back to the revolution, my friends. This is Part 2 of our "We Do Not Care Club" series, and today we're sharing the crowdsourced, unfiltered, absolutely brilliant list of things that women physicians are officially done caring about.

But first, let's give proper credit where it's due:

This entire movement exists because of Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) - an African-American content creator who courageously started sharing her perimenopause experience from a Whole Foods parking lot. She felt like a hot mess and decided she wasn't going to care about it anymore. That single moment of authenticity has created a viral movement with over a million followers and has been featured in the New York Times and on Katie Couric's platform.

Melani gave women permission to speak up about experiences we've been silent about for far too long. This is her movement, and we're honored to be part of it.

Why This Matters for Women Physicians

We are a special group. We care for others professionally, but we're also women navigating our own health transitions in a system that expects us to be superhuman. We've been socialized to:

• Care that our appearance is 100% professional
• Never show emotions (while somehow conveying empathy)
• Be team players who give 110% but never be "too loud"
• Micromanage our appearance more than our male colleagues
• Put everyone else first, always

The result? We're exhausted from caring about the wrong things.

The Epic List: What We Do NOT Care About Anymore

Note: This list came directly from women physicians who responded to my call. It's unorganized on purpose - because perimenopause isn't organized, and we're giving ourselves permission to say "this is good enough."

The Medical System BS We're Done With:

• Online wellness modules (seriously, stop)
• C-suite leadership telling us to be more "resilient" (we hate that word)
• Insurance formularies and their secrecy
• Efficiency training and metrics (we're just trying to get through the day)
• Corporate medicine profitability
• Academic titles earned by sacrificing mental health
• Executives losing money because we did the right thing for patients

Patient Nonsense We're Over:

• "What you saw on TikTok" (vinegar isn't going to help here)
• How happy people look in drug commercials (you don't have rheumatoid arthritis)
• The internet telling you that you have ADHD (it's probably perimenopause)
• How "explosive" your diarrhea was (that doesn't help me help you)
• College roommate's third cousin's reaction to sertraline (it's still a good choice)
• Kardashians getting full-body MRIs

Life Stuff We're Liberated From:

• Wearing bras (special shoutout to the contributor who said "I only have one nipple after canc

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

What if you could stop wasting your precious brain energy on things that don't deserve it?

Welcome to a very special edition of Ending Physician Overwhelm, where we're diving deep into the revolutionary concept of the "We Do Not Care Club" – specifically designed for perimenopausal women physicians who are DONE with burning themselves out for a system that doesn't value them.

Shoutout to Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) for creating this life-changing movement that's resonating with millions of women!

The Truth Bomb You Need to Hear

We care. We care A LOT. But here's what's killing us: we've been pressured and scared into caring about things that are literally destroying our well-being, our families, and our ability to practice medicine the way we know it should be practiced.

It's time to stop. It's time to reclaim your power. It's time to join the club.

The 3 Permission Slips You Need Right Now

🔹 Permission Slip #1: You Are NOT Expendable or Replaceable

We do not care about the lie that you're just another cog in the medical machine.

The truth? You are irreplaceable. Your expertise, your experience, your special sauce of care – that cannot be replicated. Yes, they might hire someone else, but they will never replace YOU.

Stop living in fear. Stop working yourself to the bone hoping to "earn" respect that should already be yours. The finish line where you'll finally be valued? It doesn't exist, and that's not your fault.

What would happen if every woman physician walked out tomorrow? The system would collapse. Because we provide safer care, safer surgeries, better patient outcomes. We are the backbone of medicine.

🔹 Permission Slip #2: Your Human Needs Actually Matter

We do not care that the system expects you to work like a robot.

You need food. You need bathroom breaks. You need REAL time off (not vacation days spent getting colonoscopies). You need adequate maternity leave. You need to be able to call in sick without guilt.

The pushback you'll get when you start taking care of yourself? That's their problem, not yours. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and eventually, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to show up for anyone.

🔹 Permission Slip #3: Your Critical Thinking Skills Are Your Superpower

We do not care if using your brain makes leadership uncomfortable.

You were trained to think critically, to question, to evaluate. But somehow, when you use these skills to challenge policies or advocate for better patient care, suddenly you're "not a team player."

This is medicine's biggest contradiction: they pay you to think, then punish you for thinking.

Your Mission for Part 2

I want to hear from YOU. What are the things you do not care about anymore? Send me:

• Instagram message: @MeganMeloMD
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Let's build our collective list for Part 2 (dropping July 8th)!

One Thing I'll Share Right Now

I do NOT care if your "normal"

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

What You'll Learn

Life doesn't pause for your perfect plans. Whether it's a scary diagnosis, staffing changes, or family emergencies, curveballs are coming. But here's what we don't talk about enough: how to navigate these storms with self-compassion instead of burning yourself out trying to hustle through everything.

In this episode, we're diving deep into four powerful strategies that will help you maintain your sanity when everything feels like it's falling apart.

The Reality Check We All Need

As physicians and high achievers, we're masters at rallying our resources and throwing 120% into whatever crisis hits us. But that unsustainable hustle? It's not always helping us. The real challenge is learning to sit in the discomfort of knowing there might not be a whirlwind of actions that will magically fix everything.

Think about navigating a cancer diagnosis - yours or a loved one's. You know the steps that need to happen, you understand the system, but you have to sit in the uncomfortable slowness of how care actually unfolds. You can't hustle your way through waiting for biopsy results or treatment plans.

Four Game-Changing Strategies

1. Recognize Your Hustle Pattern (And When It Doesn't Serve You)
We need to acknowledge that yes, we're incredible at problem-solving and taking action. But some problems have to unfold over time. They can't be managed with our usual "throw everything at it" approach.

The work: Sit in the discomfort of not being able to fix everything immediately. Breathe through it. This is part of being human.

2. Know Your Thought Loops (And Have Compassionate Responses Ready)
During stress, your brain falls into familiar patterns. Maybe it's "I'm trapped" or "I don't know what to do" or "I'm not good enough." These thoughts will spin endlessly if you let them.

The breakthrough: You don't have to stop having these thoughts to make progress. The goal is recognizing the pattern and responding with compassion. When that familiar thought loop starts, pause and offer yourself a gentler alternative: "I'm not stuck - I'm choosing to be here for my family."

3. Allow Yourself Stress Responses (Without Judgment)
We all have them. Maybe it's shopping (hello, perfectly stocked pantry), scrolling social media, or reaching for that extra glass of wine. Some stress responses are relatively harmless, others cross into potentially harmful territory.

The balance: It's okay to scratch the itch sometimes, as long as you're not causing harm to yourself or others. But also recognize that these responses aren't actually addressing the underlying emotion. Ask yourself: "What do I really need here? What am I really seeking?"

A note on alcohol: If you find yourself turning to wine or other alcohol to soothe your nervous system, please consider whether this is tiptoeing into harmful territory. I'm not your mom, but as an obesity medicine physician, I see this pattern slip into problems more often than we'd like to admit.

4. Push the Easy Button (Seriously)
How can you make things easier for your future se

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

Stop Playing Around and Start Making AI Work FOR You

If you're still on the fence about AI tools, or you've tried them and felt frustrated, this episode is for you. We're talking about how to actually use these tools to make your life easier—not add another complicated task to your already overwhelming day.

What We Talk About

• The three non-negotiable rules for using AI tools effectively (and why thinking of AI as your employee changes everything)
• How I went from trial-and-error with multiple AI scribes to finding one that actually works for my complex primary care visits
• The letter-writing hack that saves me hours of Googling templates
• Why I let AI write my show notes, emails, and blog posts (and why that's not cheating—it's smart)
• How to create your own AI coach that asks you the right questions when you're stuck
• Real examples: from risk management letters to policy manuals to patient handouts

The Three Rules That Change Everything

Rule #1: Give Clear Instructions Just like with human employees, vague directions get you garbage results. Be specific about what you want and how you want it delivered.

Rule #2: Practice Before Going Live Don't push record on that AI scribe without knowing how it works. Test everything first—you'll save yourself from recreating notes from scratch.

Rule #3: Remember You're the Boss This technology exists to serve you, not the other way around. If it's creating more work instead of less, you need to retrain it or find a better tool.

Your Homework

Pick ONE area where you're spending time on tasks that don't require your medical expertise. Could AI help you write that insurance authorization letter? Create patient handouts? Draft professional correspondence?

Start there. Give it clear instructions. See what happens.

The Bottom Line

AI tools are here to stay, and they can genuinely make your life easier—but only if you approach them with the right mindset. You deserve help that actually helps. You deserve tools that work for you, not against you.

Remember: You're not being lazy by using these tools. You're being strategic about where you spend your precious time and energy.

Let's Connect

Need more support? Schedule a coaching consultation at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call

Connect with us:

• Website: healthierforgood.com
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @meganmelomd

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

Recorded from the car on a Monday morning because sometimes life doesn't wait for perfect circumstances - and that's exactly the point.

When Crisis Hits Close to Home

This is a different kind of episode. Raw, real, and recorded in the midst of what I'm calling a "semi-urgent medical crisis" in my family. You know the kind - not a code blue emergency, but the agonizing wait for test results, appointments, and answers that consume your thoughts and rearrange your entire world.

We spend so much time being on the other side of these moments as physicians. But sometimes, we're the ones sitting in the waiting room, holding our breath, and trying to navigate the impossible balance of being both caregiver and professional.

If you've ever faced a breast cancer diagnosis, fertility struggles, or watched a loved one go through a medical crisis while trying to hold your own life together, this episode is for you.

10 Ways I'm Getting Through (And You Can Too)

1. Notice Yourself and Your Needs
You can't pour from an empty cup. Even when this isn't your medical crisis, you're still a crucial part of the equation. Ask yourself moment by moment: What do I need right now to show up for what matters most?

2. Continue Your Routines with Self-Compassion
The basics still matter - maybe even more now. I'm still trying to get to bed on time, wake up for exercise, and eat regularly. These routines might look different during crisis, but they're your anchor. Don't abandon what keeps you grounded.

3. Let People Know What You Need
Here's the hard truth: I am less reliable and dependable to everyone else right now, and that's okay. I'm canceling plans, rescheduling patients, and making different choices. Being upfront about this isn't failure - it's honesty about where your energy needs to go.

4. Accept What's True AND Allow Moments of Good
You can simultaneously acknowledge that this is incredibly difficult while also letting in moments of joy, silliness, and playfulness when they appear. This isn't about toxic positivity - it's about not shutting yourself off from the full human experience.

5. Practice Creative Procrastination
Those big projects and dreams you've been planning? It's okay to put them on hold. This isn't giving up - it's being strategic about your focus. Future plans can wait when family needs you now.

6. Get Crystal Clear on Your Values
We say family is our top priority, but are we living like it? When crisis hits, you get clarity fast about what actually matters. Use this clarity to make decisions moment by moment, even when it means inconveniencing others.

7. Know Who's on Your Team
Some people in your life are good to bring into the loop during tough times. Others, despite being good people, are not equipped to help in crisis. This is boundaries work in action. Choose wisely who gets access to your vulnerable moments.

8. Prepare for Growth
You didn't choose this lesson, but here it is anyway. There are things for you to learn and ways for you to grow in this space

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

Welcome to another edition of Ending Physician Overwhelm - this time recorded from the car because life happens, and we roll with it.

The Question That Changes Everything

When we talk about cutting back on work or reducing FTE, we often focus on what we want less of. But here's what we miss: What do we actually want MORE of?

This episode dives deep into a conversation I had with a coaching client who was looking to reconfigure her work schedule. We weren't just trying to work less for the sake of working less - we were being intentional about creating space for what truly matters.

The Laundry Trap (And Why We're Not Cutting FTE for More Chores)

Let's be crystal clear: We are not cutting our physician FTE in order to do more laundry.

Yes, those piles of laundry create distress. Yes, the house needs attention. But if you find yourself cutting hours only to spend that precious time doing tasks that breed resentment and frustration, you've missed the point entirely.

Three Areas Where You Need to Ask This Question

1. At Work: What Professional Boundaries Have Shifted?

That evening clinic you agreed to when you first started? The complex procedures you took on to save patients a referral? The schedule flexibility you once had that no longer serves your current life phase?

Just because you were willing to do something before doesn't mean you're wrong to say no now.

Your life has changed. Maybe you have aging parents, young children, or different priorities. There's nothing wrong with recognizing that what worked then doesn't work now.

2. At Home: Where Are You Trading Time for the Wrong Things?

If you have more money than time available, why are you still doing your own laundry, cleaning, and yard work?

Your kids and partner need to learn life skills anyway. Get the humans in your house contributing, or pay someone else to handle what doesn't bring you joy.

3. In Relationships: What Are You No Longer Willing to Tolerate?

This applies everywhere - with patients, family, colleagues, and friends. Maybe you used to let visits run long, take on cases outside your expertise, or accommodate behaviors that drain your energy.

You get to change your mind about what you'll accept.

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

You don't need to justify why something that was okay before isn't okay now. Evidence changes. Life circumstances change. Sometimes you just wake up and realize you need better boundaries because you're drowning.

All of these reasons are valid.

Your Action Steps

1. Get clear on your values and goals - What do you actually want more of in your life?
2. Identify your non-negotiables - What are you willing to be flexible on, and what absolutely isn't up for discussion?
3. Practice the uncomfortable conversations - Whether it's asking for schedule changes at work or setting boundaries at home.
4. Remember: Boundaries aren't selfish - They're necessary for sustainability and showing u

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

The Wearable Device That Could Change Everything for Physicians

What if there was a way to get objective, real-time data about how your lifestyle choices are actually affecting your health? Not just a random cortisol test that tells you nothing actionable, but continuous monitoring that could force you to confront the truth about how you're treating your body?

In this special car edition episode, we dive into my million-dollar idea: a continuous cortisol monitor that could revolutionize how physicians approach self-care.

What We Talk About

• Why random cortisol tests are basically useless (and what question I always ask patients who request them)
• How a continuous cortisol monitor could provide the objective data your scientist brain needs to finally prioritize self-care
• The institutionalized sacrifice of women physicians—and why the system profits from your overwork without compensating you
• Why the self-care strategies that worked at 24 won't work at 44 (and what you need to do differently)
• The uncomfortable truth about why you've been conditioned to ignore your body's needs

The Million Dollar Question

If you could see in real-time how your cortisol levels spike when you're running on four hours of sleep, grabbing donuts from the break room, and charting until midnight—what would you do with that data?

More importantly: What will you do right now, without that monitor, knowing that your current patterns are harming your health?

Your Homework

Put on your imaginary continuous cortisol monitor this week. What would it be showing you? If you were tasked with reducing those levels, what one change would you make first?

Remember: You can't continue to sacrifice your health for a system that profits from your overwork. The future of healthcare depends on you figuring out how to set limits so you can stay in the game without breaking yourself.

Key Takeaway

Being a woman physician doesn't have to be bad for your health—but only if you stop living into that narrative and start making choices that honor the fact that your body at this stage of life needs different care than it did 20 years ago.

This week, choose self-compassion over self-sacrifice. Your patients, your family, and your future self will thank you.

Let's Connect

Need more support? Schedule a coaching consultation at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call

Connect with us:

• Website: healthierforgood.com
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @meganmelomd

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share with a colleague who might benefit!

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us a text

Finding Your Path to Alignment: The Antidote to Physician Burnout

Are you feeling stuck in a perpetual slog, wondering where your passion for medicine went? You're not alone, and there's a powerful principle that can help guide you back to a place of purpose and energy.

In this episode, we explore the concept of alignment—a state of living and making decisions that honors your core values, leverages your unique gifts, and energizes you through your passions and interests.

What You'll Learn

• Alignment acts as a powerful antidote to burnout (and the research showing you only need 20% of your time in alignment to see benefits)
• How to recognize when you're out of alignment and what to do about it
• The critical importance of tuning into your thoughts and feelings to find your way back
• Boundaries are essential tools for maintaining alignment in both your professional and personal life

Key Takeaways

When you're in alignment, you're like a car with properly aligned tires—moving forward smoothly and efficiently, even when the road gets bumpy. But when you're out of alignment, every mile feels like a struggle against resistance.

The good news? Research suggests that spending just 20% of your time using your gifts and talents in areas aligned with your passions can significantly protect against burnout.

Remember: It's not your fault if perfectionism and people-pleasing have brought you to a place of burnout in our broken healthcare system. AND you have the power to tune into your thoughts and begin changing them to feel better. Both things can be true simultaneously.

Your homework: Start noticing where you feel energized in your work and where you feel drained. This awareness is the first step toward finding your alignment and creating the medical career you truly want.

Next week, we'll continue our journey toward ending physician overwhelm together. Until then, remember that you deserve to practice medicine in a way that honors who you are.

Let's Connect

Need more support? Schedule a coaching consultation at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call

Connect with us:

• Website: healthierforgood.com
• Email: megan@healthierforgood.com
• Instagram: @meganmelomd

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share with a colleague who might benefit!

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD