The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen Podcast Por Heather Hansen arte de portada

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

De: Heather Hansen
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This is the Elegant Warrior Podcast. It's a podcast about elegance and all of its forms. We're talking about our definitions of elegance and how we maintain it in times of trial. We're also talking about how we can advocate for ourselves with elegance and in a way that makes us most likely to win. I'm your host, Heather Hansen, author, speaker, consultant, trainer, and self-advocacy expert. Let's talk Elegance!2020 The Elegant Warrior Desarrollo Personal Economía Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • 326: When People Pleasers Aren't Pleased

    326: When People Pleasers Aren't Pleased
    Jul 17 2025
    In this episode, Heather answers a heartfelt question from a listener named Z about people-pleasing Heather breaks down the root of resentment that often comes from saying “yes” too often — and receiving “no” in return. Through relatable stories and actionable guidance, she empowers listeners to advocate for themselves with confidence and grace. In this empowering episode, you’ll learn: The Resentment Cycle of People Pleasers - Z’s question echoes a common struggle: always saying yes, only to feel hurt when others don’t return the favor. Heather explores how this dynamic creates resentment and disconnection — both at home and at work. False Consensus and Miscommunication - Heather explains the false consensus effect — the mistaken belief that others see and value things the same way we do. She emphasizes the importance of communicating needs clearly instead of assuming others "just know." From Silent Hints to Clear Requests Through the story of a high-powered client and her husband, Heather illustrates the danger of hinting instead of asking. Saying “I’d love to go to this concert” is not the same as saying, “Will you come with me?” A Better Follow-Up Question - Heather suggests asking, “What would have to change for you to say yes?” as a non-confrontational way to open conversation, gain insight, and gauge someone’s willingness. Understanding the Law of Reciprocity - Referencing Robert Cialdini’s “Influence,” Heather unpacks the psychological principle of reciprocity — and how gently reminding someone of past support (without guilt-tripping) can increase the chances of a return favor. Power Dynamics and Reciprocity - People in positions of power often feel less pressure to reciprocate. Heather highlights this dynamic and how it explains why some people — especially at work — may not return favors. Saying No as a Spiritual Lesson - In one of the episode’s most powerful insights, Heather reframes the struggle as part of your Divine Curriculum. Quoting Marianne Williamson, she suggests that learning to say no is not just practical — it’s part of your personal growth and purpose. Recap and Encouragement - Heather closes with a reminder that not everyone sees your effort. Advocate with clarity. Ask with delight. And sometimes, the greatest lesson is how to say no with confidence and self-respect. In this episode for Libsyn: [00:00] - Listener's question about being a people pleaser and handling requests without reciprocity [00:28] - Personal story about attending a Pearl Jam concert and navigating requests from others [03:18] - The importance of recognizing when others ask for things and the concept of reciprocity [04:43] - The significance of understanding what you need and asking for it effectively [06:48] - The challenge of asking for what you want without feeling guilty or selfish [08:29] - Reflection on working together and helping each other in professional settings [09:23] - Feelings of frustration and defensiveness about asking for help [12:16] - The law of reciprocity and its role in relationships and requests. [14:43] - Recognizing the importance of asking for what you need and the role of reciprocity [15:00] - The value of understanding and respecting others’ boundaries and needs [16:58] - The significance of the last piece of the reciprocity puzzle [17:23] - The divine curriculum and its relation to giving and receiving [18:53] - The importance of saying no and setting boundaries [20:00] - The value of encouraging others to say yes and the importance of mutual support [21:50] - Final thoughts on answering questions and ongoing engagement with listeners. Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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    22 m
  • 325: The Credible Charisma™ Framework

    325: The Credible Charisma™ Framework
    Jul 10 2025
    In this episode, Heather introduces "Credible Charisma™" as a key to becoming irreplaceable in a world where many feel replaceable due to the rise of AI and other technological advancements. She shares personal experiences and introduces a framework to help listeners cultivate this essential quality. In this insightful episode, you'll learn: The Fear of Being Replaceable: The speaker addresses the widespread anxiety of feeling replaceable, whether due to artificial intelligence, aging, or other life circumstances, and asserts that everyone is inherently irreplaceable. Credible Charisma™ as the Antidote: She introduces "Credible Charisma™" as the learnable combination of qualities that makes someone unforgettable and irreplaceable, contrasting it with the idea that being smarter, faster, or better is sufficient. The Belief Triangle for Credibility: The speaker outlines her "Belief Triangle™" framework for building credibility, emphasizing three crucial aspects: people believing you (keeping promises), believing in you (having the necessary experience and talent), and most importantly, believing you can help them (understanding their pain and problems). Lexi: An Embodiment of Credible Charisma™: Through the story of her former paralegal, Lexi, Heather shares how someone can become irreplaceable by consistently demonstrating credibility (keeping promises, possessing skills, and understanding needs) and charisma (making others feel seen, safe, and special). Debunking Charisma Myths: The speaker challenges common misconceptions about charisma, particularly the idea that it's "fluffy" or primarily non-verbal. She debunks the widely cited 93% non-verbal communication statistic, clarifying its true context. The True Nature of Charisma: Drawing on research from Dr. John Antonakis, the speaker defines true charisma as being based on "what you say and how you say it" (content and delivery), and her personal interpretation that this combination makes people feel seen, safe, and special, with safety being paramount. The Interdependence of Credibility and Charisma: She emphasizes that charisma cannot exist without credibility, stating, "You can't have charisma without credibility. Without credibility, you can't win." Building Credibility Through Stories and Evidence: The speaker introduces her "SEE Technique™" for building credibility, which involves sharing stories that resonate with others and providing evidence (like research studies) that makes people feel safe to believe. The Power of Para-verbal Communication: She highlights the importance of "para-verbal" communication (tone, pace, volume, inflection) over body language and facial expressions, asserting that it's a more significant component of charisma and reflects true belief. Credible Charisma™ as a Foundation for Resilience: The episode concludes with a powerful analogy: credibility is a "huge, solid cliff" that withstands change, and charisma is a "lighthouse resting securely on that cliff," guiding and calling people home to a place where they feel seen, safe, and special. In this episode for Libsyn: [00:09] - Introduction to Credible Charisma [01:00] - The Concept of Irreplaceability [02:14] - Personal anecdotes [04:28] - Belief triangle [07:00] - Charisma: Making People Feel Seen, Safe, and Special [08:29] - The impact of Lexi's departure and the inability to replace her, even with artificial intelligence. [09:38] - The Credible Charisma Framework™ [12:41] - Defining True Charisma (with Dr. John Antonakis) [13:48] - The Interplay of Credibility and Charisma [16:32] - Verbal, Para-verbal, and Non-verbal Communication [18:26] - Conclusion and Call to Action Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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    20 m
  • 324: A Little Intro to Undeniable [Judge Rosemarie Aquilina]

    324: A Little Intro to Undeniable [Judge Rosemarie Aquilina]
    Jul 3 2025
    In this episode, Heather introduces a previously recorded conversation with Judge Rosemary Aquilina from December 30, 2019. This re-release serves as an introduction to Judge Aquilina before she and Heather launch their new podcast, "Undeniable," in August. The episode highlights Judge Aquilina's impactful role in the Larry Nassar case and her unique approach to justice, emphasizing listening and healing. In this insightful episode, you'll learn: Introduction to Judge Aquilina: Heather sets the stage for the conversation, explaining why she's replaying this particular episode and introducing Judge Rosemary Aquilina, highlighting her significance in the Larry Nassar case and her upcoming joint podcast with Heather. Early Life and Influences: Judge Aquilina shares her childhood experiences, including her immigration story and feeling unheard, which profoundly shaped her desire to advocate for others and led her to pursue a career in law. The Path to Law and Justice: Judge Aquilina discusses her decision to attend law school, driven by a rebellious spirit and a deep-seated need to give a voice to the unheard, a theme that resonates throughout her career. Breaking Barriers in the Military: Judge Aquilina recounts her experience as the first female JAG officer in Michigan history, illustrating her determination to overcome obstacles and challenge norms. The Power of Listening in the Courtroom: Judge Aquilina emphasizes the importance of listening in her judicial practice, particularly in the Larry Nassar case, where her approach encouraged over 100 women to come forward and share their stories. "What Do You Want Me to Know?": Judge Aquilina explains the origin and impact of her signature question, "What do you want me to know?", revealing how this simple inquiry fosters trust and allows individuals to feel heard and understood. "Leave Your Pain Here": Judge Aquilina discusses the profound effect of her statement to the Nassar victims, "Leave your pain here. Go out and do your magnificent things," and how she views her role as a healer in the courtroom. The Healing Power of the Robe and Gavel: Judge Aquilina describes how she perceives her judicial robe and gavel not just as symbols of authority, but as tools for healing and rehabilitation, aiming to empower individuals to move forward. Continued Connection with Survivors: Judge Aquilina shares that she remains in contact with many of the Nassar survivors, offering ongoing support and demonstrating her continued commitment to their well-being. Personal Resilience and Family Life: Judge Aquilina touches upon her personal life, including having children later in life, and how her family provides stability and balance amidst her demanding career. Defining Elegance and Inspiration: Judge Aquilina shares her personal definition of elegance, emphasizing inner character and dignity, and reveals her theme song and a book that has inspired her throughout her life. In this episode for Libsyn: [00:00] - Introduction to Judge Aquilina [06:39] - Early Life and Influences [10:24] - The Path to Law and Justice [11:43] - Breaking Barriers in the Military [20:46] - The Power of Listening in the Courtroom [23:29] - "What Do You Want Me to Know?" [25:50] - "Leave Your Pain Here" [26:44] - The Healing Power of the Robe and Gavel [29:54] - Continued Connection with Survivors [32:07] - Personal Resilience and Family Life [33:05] - Defining Elegance and Inspiration Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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    36 m
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