Hello and welcome to my video podcast Self Conscious Mystic, which I have made available on all podcast platforms. Please follow me on this adventure! The idea for this project came to me in a dream, and I will speak about dream exploration in my podcast.

Here I try to describe what happens when I become a dragon. It is possibly the most powerful and extraordinary of all my spiritual experiences, because of the immense presence of ancient primordial dark matter. Which is at the core of me and is reptilian, incredibly deep, and celestial as I explain.

I am Catherine in my day to day life and the dragon within me is alive down in the uttermost depths of my being. More real and substantial and vital than all the surface aspects of Catherine. She is the pure original being and awesomely powerful. She is me.

Could this be the female force which has been attacked so violently by men who slay dragons and write that the snake of creation is not to be trusted? I can imagine so after my experiences.

Nothing I say or write can describe what I feel when I become the dragon. This video is woefully inadequate, and yet I must try and talk about things which many of us experience but don't talk about, as they are so hard to describe.

Finding the words for fathomless stuff is the aim of my podcast and this is the first sharing attempt, I'm pretty pleased with it but let me know what you think!

The end of the story and the rebirth of The Handless Maiden.

From persecutory delusions to wisdom and perception, the handless maiden has to go bravely into ancient territory, using Spirit as a guide.

She depends on her silver hands as the psychiatric patient depends on their medication. She would be lost if not for Spirit, and this is where I am at in my recovery journey with psychosis.

The Handless Maiden cannot do this healing work alone and Spirit guides her deep into the wilderness to the wise woman. This connects her to old, wild ways and a primal awareness of reality which is sensitive to danger but not paranoid.

As her hands grow back her husband the king is rewilding his consciousness too, abandoning his wealth and status in his quest to find her. Over seven years of searching he becomes the wild hunter.

The reunion of the wild king and the wild queen shows that healing is possible when we restore what we have lost: the wise woman, a relationship with spirits and living with natural cycles. Nature is regenerative, but this takes time as with psychosis it is a deep search for the true nature of reality.

The loss of her hands ultimately results in stronger, finer, superior hands. So losing touch with reality can become a healing adventure which results in a greater grasp of reality than we had before. An ability to perceive things more deeply and multidimensionally, as the wise woman does with her gifts of prophecy and second sight.

Lastly, and firstly, the Devil of our story has no hold at this level of consciousness and his domain is the wealthy pharmaceutical industry which needs mentally ill people to stay lost and handless for it to make money.

I speak as a woman who depends on her medications and functions so much better with them, but who also understands that a non-ordinary reality crisis can be an initiatory adventure of the spirit. Not just a disability. This is the story of The Handless Maiden.

Please listen to parts one and part two for the full adventure and let me know your own thoughts. Healing is deep when it is slowly but surely, so I walk a spiritual path with psychosis one step at a time.

I am writing a book about another old myth, the story of Li Ban the mermaid of Ireland, and you can add your email to the book list on my website to be notified when it is finished and available: www.catherinehatt.com.

I'm also a songwriter, or I was in my younger years, I studied counselling at university and am currently training with Shamanism Ireland to be a transpersonal therapist.

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Part two of The Handless Maiden's story about psychotic illness. Including heavy medication (the silver hands), the mystic births the shaman, and the devil twists the truth (persecutory delusions and hearing voices).

This story came into my delusion/ reality when I was terrified believing my hands were going to be chopped off. The myth is a wonderful way to explain mental illness and mysticism, as The Handless Maiden is vulnerable and disabled and also with God / Spirit. Please listen to part one if you have time.

I'm sharing this information about mental illness to set the context for my podcast which is about mystical experiences. Because many of my mystical experiences happened when I was in psychosis. So I am a woman with a mental illness who also understands the shamanic significance of my condition.

Part one was last month's episode and the final part three will follow next month.

I set the context of my mystical podcast, explaining first of all that psychosis is disturbing and profoundly challenging... The Handless Maiden is haunted, traumatised and disabled... In her story, this extreme vulnerability brings her close to God/ Spirit... This is the first part of her tale... An old fairytale which begins with The Devil... This fairytale appeared in my delusions and also in a dream. .. I wasn't thinking about the story, but I 100% believed that my hands were about to be chopped off... As a transpersonal therapist, the story details of our delusions can be relevant not to our psychology but to our deeper soul story... And delusions can cast us along storylines from other times and other lives... The Handless Maiden represents a woman with no grasp on reality who is homeless and walking with spirit until the King sees her and claims her...

We will see in part 2 how he does that... This has been my journey as I have spent many, many long nights wandering the streets alone in psychosis, experiencing terror as well as mystical happenings, before being claimed by the authorities... I am told it is likely to happen again, however I'm currently thankfully stable and able to make this video podcast, to share some non-ordinary experiences...

If you are interested in old stories I'm writing a book about a woman in Irish myth called Li Ban who is a mermaid... If you would like to know when it is released there is a box on my website where you can enter your email address (this is not a newsletter) go to www.catherinehatt.com Music is 'Easy' by Catherine Hatt

Introducing the theme of my new video podcast where I will explore psychotic / mystical states, and try to put the unintelligible into words.

I share a recent dream explaining that this stuff is ancient and needs to be divided into bite sized pieces... by doing a series of videos!

I would love it if you subscribed to join me on this journey.

To include psychosis and the paranormal, spirit possession, talking to god/ the gods, ghosts, entities, virtual reality, AI, the simulation, galactic beings, hallucinations, etc.