This is the definitive "START HERE" episode. If you are a new listener, absolutely start here. If you are not new but have not listened to this "first" episode prior to Feb. 2025, I have updated it and you just might learn something new, so I hope you will listen again.

Welcome to "The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations" podcast. My name is Melissa Bottorff-Arey, and I am both the creator and host of this podcast, which I launched in 2020 amid an unprecedented global pandemic that was both being shadowed by and working in tandem with an even more pervasive global crisis: suicide.

Today, I want to take a moment to share my story with you—a story that transformed my life in an instant & my response so far that has ultimately brought me here, to this space, talking to you. Knowing me a little is essential if you are to trust me enough to listen to me talk about possibly the worst thing you could ever be asked to carry in life. If you are to allow me into your sacred space of grief, you deserve to hear it.

This podcast exists because having persistent, consistent, and meaningful conversations about suicide, mental health, stigmas, trauma, and grief helps others feel seen and supported, and it is how we will bring about awareness and, ultimately, change. And because we need community - it is essential in this sacred work of grief.

So, for today, this is where I'll leave you. This episode shares who I am—and why I'm doing this. I'm so sorry you're with me, but I am honored to hold space for you. Thank you for being here—it truly means so much.

ON this podcast, we will continue to explore the questions that haunt us, seek the courage to uncover the healing tools within us and offer the comfort of a community we all need. Come along with me—-—because this is so very lonely, but we do not have to be alone. Together, let's choose to find meaning and even happiness amid the leftover pieces before us. Thank you for listening...Welcome.

You can find me, the online support & growth groups I lead, the retreats I host, the books I have written & all ways to connect with me at:

The Leftover Pieces WEBSITE

The Leftover Pieces Instagram

If you or someone you know is struggling PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you

IN a crisis you can also TEXT
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258

And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces

Support the show

My conversation with Bonnie Swade founder of SASS-MoKan, a suicide awareness survivor support group in the Kansas City area is packed full of information on the role of a support group, a support system, in a grievers life. Bonnie lost her 31 year old son Brett to suicide on December 20, 2003. The following year, she and her husband Mickey founded their own group. They do very important work in the KC metro area but are a model and inspiration for groups everywhere. SASS (Suicide Awareness Survivor Support) believes the public must be educated about suicide. I COMPLETELY AGREE !!

From her website:

We sincerely feel that "Suicide is everyone's business." With this in mind, SASS has five steps that we’re taking to make sure that "Suicide is everyone’s business." Those steps are: education, public awareness. networking with healthcare agencies, uniting survivors and providing information to area support groups.

Please check out SASS-MoKan


If you or someone you know is struggling PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you

IN a crisis you can also TEXT:
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258

And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces

Support the show

In this (first) Mini Solo "Down the Rabbit Hole" (DTRH) Episode I delve into the topic of Fear & Grief. I talk about how they overlap & interact as well as how I have (started) to deal with it in my (new) life alongside suicide loss … & grief!

You can find & connect with me at

The Leftover Pieces Instagram
or
The Leftover Pieces Podcast Webpage

Life after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join Melissa, a mother who lost her 21 year old son Alex to suicide, as she has real conversations with other loss survivors, awareness advocates & mental health experts looking to explore the questions we all seek the answers to. Come along as we delve into areas such a trauma, hope, stigma & shame, learning to live with grief (not get over it), filling your coping toolbox with useful tools and finding (& learning to love) your new self … & more.

If you or someone you know is struggling PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you

IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258

And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces

Support the show