Buckle up, because this episode of The Viktor Wilt Show flew off the rails like a greased pig on roller skates. It all started with a totally rational conversation about senior pranks—which somehow escalated into felony charges over plastic wrap in Pennsylvania. Viktor recalled the good ol’ days when pranks involved just spray painting a rock, unlike now, when you sneeze wrong in a school and get hit with five misdemeanors and a federal investigation. Then “Caveman” called in and confessed to dropping fart powder in a teacher’s Diet Coke like it was a harmless 90s sitcom bit instead of literal assault. But it’s fine! Statute of limitations, right?

We got international too, with a man caught smuggling 46 kilos of weed into Sri Lanka who blamed his suitcases for magically filling themselves. His biggest complaint in prison? “The food’s too spicy.” Bro, you tried to drug mule your way into a firing squad. Then a human leg washed up on a UK beach, and Viktor couldn’t stop scrolling looking for the picture (we’re not judging, but we are). Somewhere in the madness, he warned people not to put weaponized bumper stickers on their cars—yes, that’s a real thing now. “Don’t be a [blank]” might just get you life in prison… in Britain.

There were dangerous ants, Bigfoot sightings deemed “credible” because, um, someone said so, and unsolicited marriage advice from Viktor urging people not to legally bind themselves to someone before they’ve finished puberty. And then, the real chaos: THE BURGER WARS. Yelp dropped a controversial 2025 burger chain ranking and the outrage was nuclear. White Castle ranked over Wendy’s? Freddy’s fries vs. tots? Culver’s declared superior to In-N-Out by the Viktor-Peaches alliance? Burger King slander at DEFCON 5? Absolute carnage.

In the end, someone won a $200 Visa gift card, nobody got defecated on (unlike the recent road rage news), and if you take anything from this fever dream of a broadcast, it’s this: don’t smuggle weed, don’t prank your teachers with chemicals, and for the love of God, don’t you dare say Burger King is better than Arby’s.

(0:00) Senior prank leads to felony charges for a number of students
(5:20) Traveler busted with two suitcases packed to the brim with marijuana has no idea where it came from
(8:04) Human leg washes up on beach and is described as "very graphic"
(9:59) Woman arrested in the UK for bumper sticker with a bad word on it
(14:04) "Credible" bigfoot sighting in Michigan, Asian Needle Ants in SC, pennies to be discontinued
(19:21) Couple that married at a very young age having relationship problems
(23:44) Chatting with Peaches about a Best Burger Chain list

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Strap in because this episode of Traffic School was absolute chaos—in the best way possible. We had a jam-packed studio with Ben from the Advocates Injury Attorneys and Lieutenant Crain of the Idaho State Police, who started the show wrestling with his headphones like they were resisting arrest. Then boom—out came a fat stack of figure-eight race tickets from Crain and a $200 Visa gift card from Ben, all before a single caller got through. We learned that Ben's got a car so fast it doesn't even bother with a 60mph mark—it just blinks and you're there. Meanwhile, Viktor confessed his birthday plans were toast thanks to a waterlogged brother and ghosting children, but hey, maybe his someone will buy him a friend.

Then the callers started rolling in: Reckless John kicked things off, practically begging law enforcement to storm the mountains for helmet violations. Carl showed up with a Pinto towing more trailers than a semi, talking Saturday night cruises and inviting Ben for burgers. Parker dove deep on the deadly sins of distracted driving, while Blake launched into a philosophical debate about merging lanes and cruise control etiquette. Mitch dropped a question about outlaw tires sticking past fenders—surprise, that's illegal, people! Scott played insurance roulette, hoping lapsed paperwork wouldn’t land him in jail (close call, buddy). Then came Craig, wondering how fast you're allowed to speed just to pass someone—turns out not “motorcycle math fast,” but pretty flexible still.

And just when you thought the madness peaked, sparkly Jen called in to ask if wearing a shirt shiny enough to blind drivers could make her liable in a crash. The answer? Only if she’s driving a disco ball down I-15. But plot twist! Jen was caller number eight—the magical mystery number—and walked away $200 richer and with plans to buy even more dazzling shirts.

From ticket stacks to traffic law hacks and vehicular fashion hazards, this episode was a rollercoaster of ridiculousness, and honestly, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE @VIKTORWILT

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Buckle up, because this episode of The Viktor Wilt Show was a glorious, caffeinated fever dream that tumbled from doomsday AI predictions to chicken-poo-induced brain inflammation without missing a beat. Viktor kicked things off by spiraling into the uncanny valley of AI content dominating the internet—babies yeeted from planes, celebrity savior hallucinations, and Elon Musk’s soot-covered baby-rescue missions—before lamenting the slow death of authenticity on social media and even in homework (cheers to ChatGPT-powered cheating, kids!). Then came the pivot to optimism, with talk of Alzheimer’s research and hands-free dog leashes made by a guy from Rigby (who Viktor might kinda know but isn’t sure). Cue the world's tallest dog, Peaches the lonely DJ, and a hypothetical leash-powered dog-and-DJ parade through East Idaho.

Then WHAM—the chaos of Viktor’s personal life exploded onto the airwaves like a Windows update from hell. His computer died. His tire bill self-destructed with surprise interest fees. His fridge was empty. His lawn was an embarrassment. He wanted to punch himself in the face. But he trudged on like a warrior of the airwaves, venting through the mic like it was group therapy.

But wait—there’s more. Deadly cucumbers, bird-poo lung infections, water-breaking TV anchors who finish their shows before giving birth, heroic bearded dragons saving their owners from house fires, and a failed Japanese pawnshop robbery involving bug spray and golf clubs. And just when you thought it couldn’t get wilder, Jade Davis rolled in, dragging his gravelly voice and PSA scripts, setting off an AI-voice cloning escapade that ended with Brad Barlow seducing East Idaho with a sultry ElevenLabs-generated whisper: “Hey babe, you don’t need to be strong for anyone right now…”

Viktor capped it off with cursed dolls, 1,000-foot tsunamis, social media comment-section warfare, haunted plantation weddings, and traumatized toddlers haunted by John Wilkes Booth. And in the end? A reminder to be safe during the 100 deadliest days on Idaho roads and to come help clean graves with Peaches on Memorial Day. This episode was unhinged brilliance. It was internet brain rot and small-town sincerity smashed together in a blender set to “apocalypse purée.”

(0:00) Internet predictions about the future
(7:37) Thomas Nelson of Rigby creates new hands-free dog leash
(11:01) The woes of my life yesterday evening
(17:37) Don't eat cucumbers or accidentally inhale chicken poo
(20:27) TV anchor's water breaks on air and she continues the show, lizard saves man's life, pawn shop robbers get a beatdown
(25:25) Cascadia Subduction Zone mega-thrust earthquake with some tin-foil hat action
(29:57) Memorial Day weekend approaching, we will be out cleaning cemeteries in June
(32:52) Family takes 3 year-old daughter to the Ford's Theater Museum and she leaves with a fear of John Wilkes Booth
(35:36) Chatting with Jade about road safety, voice work, and gruesome advertising
(41:23) Chatting with Peaches and Maddie about braces, piercings, and how to use Eleven Labs
(46:47) Playing around with Brad Barlow's voice in Eleven Labs
(50:12) The Annabelle doll visits Louisiana and chaos erupts

FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE @VIKTORWILT

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