Humor Fiction Adventure

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

To escape from a life of petticoats and politeness, Hilary answers a curious advertisement for a pirate crew and suddenly finds herself swept up in a seafaring adventure that may or may not involve a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesn't exist, a rogue governess who insists on propriety, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous - and unexpected - villain on the High Seas. Will Hilary find the treasure in time? Will she become a true pirate after all? And what will become of the gargoyle?

Try as he might, Fischer still can't catch a break. Tropica's forces have just perpetrated the fantasyland equivalent of crashing the king's party, kicking over the punch bowl, and making a series of rude gestures on their way out. Unfortunately, they're about to learn firsthand that when you take a bully down to the mat, it's best to make sure they don't get back up. Because their enemies are unearthing long-forgotten powers, and if those dabbling in the resulting destructive chi succeed, they could become even more annoying than the time Corporal Claws hid all of Fischer's pants.

The Wind Runner is visiting Riverfarm, and Emperor Laken Godart couldn't be happier. Summer has arrived on Izril, and with it, trouble is brewing. The prosperity of the Unseen Empire has brought both enemies and unlikely allies to the north. A coven has descended upon Riverfarm, seeking a grand bargain with the [Emperor].

A series of robberies has disrupted the peaceful life at the Bean Farm. First, food disappears from The First Animal Bank. Then sheets and shirts vanish from a clothesline. By the time oats are stolen from the barn, everyone is suspicious and upset. Soon, the animals even suspect Freddy! Who, or what, is responsible for the crimes? What is the mysterious white shape in the Great Woods?

'Look after the dead,' said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.' Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when, like Teppic, you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country rather earlier than expected, and your treasury is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. He'd had the best education money could buy of course, but unfortunately the syllabus at the Assassin's Guild in Ankh-Morpork did not cover running a kingdom and basic financial acumen....

Colton Winchester is master of the trailer park, but all is not well. Decades of neglect by the previous manager have left him with a long list of quests and repairs, and a restive population of milfs who demand his. . . . attentions. As dangers loom from within and without, Colton must navigate an increasingly complex array of new relationships and unexpected flavors, and make a critical decision about just how much he enjoys fried chicken.

Mr. Putter and his neighbor Mrs. Teaberry both like music. He likes the broken hearts and big round heroes of opera. She likes the broken hearts and big-haired stars of country music. One day Mrs. Teaberry has one of her famous ideas. She and Mr. Putter will form their own band. Mr. Putter is a good sport. He buys a little horn and practices for hours. Finally, he decides that everyone will be happier if he uses the horn to hold up his tomato plant.

It's summertime, and Mr. Putter and Tabby are tired of being hot. Their neighbor Mrs. Teaberry and her dog Zeke are sweaty, too. Maybe a trip to the pond will cool them off. Mrs. Teaberry packs a lunch of apple tea, tomato sandwiches, and kiwi salad. Mr. Putter likes her funny food. When they get to the pond, they rent a boat and find a shady spot for a picnic. They share tall tales while they eat. Mr. Putter tells about the time he won a worm race.

Here for the first time the stories and short novels of the war with the Outs are collected into a novel-length chronicle. The Outs had mental powers they could use to make humans see illusions and convince them to change sides. Obviously, they were unbeatable - until some troublesome humans found their Achilles' heel.

Skeeve is just settling into his duties as court magician of Possiltum and his training as sorcerer’s apprentice to Aahz, his scaly green demon mentor, when Aahz is suddenly called back to his home dimension on family business. Skeeve figures he can handle things on his own for a while, but then King Roderick convinces Skeeve to use his powers of illusion to take the king’s place while Roderick takes a little “vacation”. That’s when Hemlock, the ruthless, ambitious queen of a powerful neighboring nation, turns up to fulfill her part in an arranged marriage with Roderick.

George and Harold have played a trick or two on nearly everyone at Jerome Horwitz Elementary. When their latest prank causes the school’s cranky cafeteria ladies to quit, Mr. Krupp hires a trio of unusual replacements - who happen to look an awful lot like aliens! Will that curtain-caped crusader, Captain Underpants, save the day once more? Or will those outer space cafeteria ladies have him for lunch? The Captain Underpants series is perfect for listeners of all ages.

Death has been fired by the Auditors of Reality for the heinous crime of developing…a personality. Sent to live like everyone else, Death takes a new name and begins working as a farmhand. He's got the scythe already, after all. And for humanity, Death is just…gone. Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. If Death doesn't come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can't have the undead wandering about like lost souls—there's no telling what might happen.

This is not a fairy tale. This is about real witches. Grandmamma loves to tell about witches. Real witches are the most dangerous of all living creatures on Earth. There's nothing they hate so much as children, and they work all kinds of terrifying spells to get rid of them. Her grandson listens closely to Grandmamma's stories - but nothing can prepare him for the day he comes face-to-face with The Grand High Witch herself!

Septimus Heap, the seventh son of the seventh son, disappears the night he is born, pronounced dead by the midwife. That same night, the baby's father, Silas Heap, comes across an abandoned child in the snow—a newborn girl with violet eyes. Who is this mysterious baby girl, and what really happened to the Heaps' beloved son Septimus?

Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All he wants is his three wishes granted. Nothing fancy—to be immortal, rule the world, have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him, the usual stuff. But instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage.

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes.

When Wahoo Cray’s dad - a professional animal wrangler - takes a job with a reality TV show called Expedition Survival!, Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his father from killing Derek Badger, the show's inept and egotistical star. But the job keeps getting more complicated: Derek Badger insists on using wild animals for his stunts; and Wahoo's acquired a shadow named Tuna - a girl who's sporting a shiner courtesy of her father and needs a place to hide out.

In this seventh madcap entry from Jim Benton’s New York Times best-selling series, pint-sized Franny K. Stein has the perfect solution for getting elected class president - the mad science way. In the privacy of her laboratory, Franny combines the DNA of a dog, a chameleon and a parrot to create the Frandidate—a candidate who says and does exactly what appeals to her classmates. But just as the Frandidate is poised to win the election, something goes terribly wrong.

With SPYDER defeated, Ben Ripley is looking forward to his life getting back to normal, or as normal as possible when you’re a superspy in training. Until someone bombs the CIA conference room next door. To Ben’s astonishment, the attacker is none other than Erica Hale, the spy-in-training he respects more than any other.