Humorous Horror

*(Hello, I’m the Narrator, and welcome, my fiends, to a tale of twisted tragedy, petrifying producers, and stage fright so bad it could raise the dead, literally, they’re all over the place. They’re actually the production crew.)* *(Gather around for the opening monologue of ‘Tales From The Cryptkeeper William Shakespeare #1: Romeo Dracula and Juliet Van Helsing!’ and we can’t forget the subtitle ‘Part One: Cursed Starcrossed Lovers Who Are Really Having A Hard Time Of It’. For Pete’s sake! (Pete’s my non-related twin.) How do I put it? The book’s title is an ...

Bigfoot is real. That's what primatologist Dr. Sarah Bishop's father told her before his academic disgrace and untimely death. Now, Sarah is eager to restore her father's good name. Survival show host Russ Cloud is just as eager to boost his plummeting ratings. They'll both have a shot at redemption when they find themselves hired by eccentric billionaire Cameron Carson. After a series of his publicity stunts end in spectacular failure, Carson has a plan to redeem his tarnished image: capture a live Sasquatch.

A primate geneticist abducted on an ocean tour. A mysterious cult that worships the spirit of a prehistoric monk. A zombie attack in the Pacific Northwest. What else can unfold when operatives from the newly-formed covert branch ZEST (Zombie Eradication & Studies Team) go into action? Former San Diego Detective Lindsey Brant and bestselling horror writer James Archer get assigned to track down the clues that point to a terrorist bent on creating murderous undead killers but first they must discover which direction their love-hate relationship is heading in this snarky, zombie crime-caper.

Verity King has a problem with her husband. He’s been turned into a frog, and contrary to opinion, that’s not an improvement. A cryptic message, a severed finger in her fridge, and no signs of forced entry make it clear to Tempest why he was called, but Mr King’s worrying transformation is just the first act. Almost before he can add up the clues, a second victim confirms the theme and Tempest finds himself up against someone performing modern retellings of the Grimm Brothers’ Fairy Tales … with real live human characters. Tempest also has a new partner and it’s not his old army...

It all started when Cadence was asked to listen to the dying old man’s stories at the peaceful desert retirement home. Slowly, Cadence realized each story was about him and a black skull a slave demon named Jarvis had given him centuries ago. The demons came for him one by one with each one appearing larger and more powerful and all of them wanted the black skull. Through the course of a hundred years, Cadence has to figure out why they were after the skull and what dark magic it possessed. In 1940, he asked the witch Meadow to hide the skull for him, so the demons could not take it. Now ...

Lily was the stuff of any man’s fantasy… and she was also something else: My best friend’s mom! A geeky kid gets his first shot at being with a ‘real’ woman… she’s hot like those celebrity moms on TV, but she’s real and so hot she could be a swimsuit model. She’s also sexy and lonely and willing… even though she’s also his best friend’s mom! He’s more than a little inexperienced and has to feel his way through it!

Taking Her HARD, ROUGH & RAW Till Her Cherry Popped!!! The Brat is just asking for it! But her first times comes when she least expected it… and the Man of the House is going to make sure it’s all she imagined and more! Raunchy & DIRTY beyond belief! The Man of the House is taking her every way you can think of and MORE!!! Bundle Includes: Cherry Popping the Brat! Brat Taken: By the Man of the House Cherry Popping the Boss’s Daughter Breaking In His Bratty Lil Butt Slut But Wait...It’s Too BIG! Bonus Story #1: Taking My Step: First Time Quickie Bonus Story #2: Claimed By the Cowboy:...

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?

Our heroes are dressed in homemade uniforms and armed with prop phasers but soon find themselves defending their hotel and convention center against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Suddenly, all of their useless knowledge about particle physics and old Star Trek episodes has genuine real-world applications! And while hotel employees and regular civilians are dying left and right, our Trekkies summon strength and courage by emulating their favorite starship-voyaging characters

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

Garth Marenghi - Frighternerman, Darkscribe, Doomsage - is back with volume two of his TerrorTome . . . Horror novelist Nick Steen is abducted and imprisoned at Nulltec, a shadowy technological research facility with excellent conference parking, concealed deep on the Stalkford Downs. There he is observed, tested and 'interfered with' (physically) by a team of scientific experts led by Dr Barbara Nullman, determined to probe and 'nullify' his escaping imagination . . .

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.

Summer 1977. The Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in Oregon's Zoinx River Valley) solved their final mystery and unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster - another low-life fortune hunter trying to get his dirty hands on the legendary riches hidden in Deboën Mansion. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Our favorite white trash zombie, Angel Crawford, has enough problems of her own, what with dealing with her alcoholic, deadbeat dad, issues with her not-quite boyfriend, the zombie mafia, industrial espionage, and evil corporations. Oh, and it’s raining, and won’t let up. But things get even crazier when a zombie movie starts filming in town, and Angel begins to suspect that it’s not just the plot of the movie that's rotten. Soon she's fighting her way through mud, blood, bullets, and intrigue, even as zombies, both real and fake, prowl the streets.

Not all witches ride brooms, wear pointy hats, and have warty noses. A fortune teller predicts Augie Doyle will soon meet a green-eyed beauty with a crescent-moon tattoo. Best yet, she’s his soul mate. That would be exciting news if he didn’t already have a girlfriend. Breaking up is out of the question. She lives with him and his dad. They’re practically a family. But then the new girl arrives. Just like the psychic predicted: gorgeous, smart, confident … and somehow into Augie. It feels too good to be true. And it is. As soon as she enters his life, things start going wrong. One ...

Gullywasher's of Georgia has been abandoned a long time but it's far from empty. A determined CDC epidemiologist goes rogue to tackle a mysterious outbreak in Savannah, only to find himself entangled with a pair of urban explorers and a dangerous, tortured soul in an abandoned theme park where dark forces stir.

Nasty Bet ~ A Dirty Collection of Quick Short Stories For Adults Rough Erotic Tales From Brats, Daddy Dom, Hotwife, Age Gap, Old Men to MFM Threesome, Menage, Group, Ganged, Shared and Used 20 Hot Stories Plus Free Bonus Stories Included. Enjoy the read!

The humorous horror trilogy: available here as one box-set (though the titles below are also available individually elsewhere on Amazon). THE WEDDING FEAST Philip awakes, naked and chained to the floor by wrist and ankle, in the ramshackle dwelling of a family of murderous inbreds. His only hope of rescue lies with Matilda, their hideously deformed and needy daughter, who lurks in the shadows in her bloodied wedding dress. But what will she require of him in return? And will it give him carpet burns? Matilda has lived in the darkness all her life. Finally, an Outsider has appeared, a man ...

It is twelve years since the Great Reconfiguration and life in the continent-spanning network of Smart Houses is safe, sedentary, and sedated. Karl, Sam, and their children navigate this reality through implants and mood-balancing stims, living as much in the digital as the physical realm. However, when a tiny, impossible kitten enters their lives – unregistered, unthinkable, and utterly forbidden - a sequence of events is set in motion that will shatter their carefully constructed, user friendly world. As their home twists and turns against them, comfort becomes confinement, security ...

'If you want a series with a strong, kick-ass female lead, then this is it!' Hounded by the police, trying to learn a new job in a new town, and constantly picking up after her slob of a flatmate, Anastasia has all she needs on her plate … … add being hunted by demons to the mix won’t help then. When former soldier, Anastasia Aaronson, stumbles across two hellish creatures, her body reacts by channeling magic to defend itself and unleashes a power the Earth has forgotten. The sudden and unwanted discovery soon attracts a lot of heat: the demons all seem to want her, but the ancient ...