Kids Humor

News alert! It has just been discovered that there are NO MORE TACOS left anywhere in the world. This is a huge problem because, as you know, dragons love tacos. If only there was a way for the dragons to travel back in time, to before tacos went extinct. Then they could grab lots of tacos and bring them back! It’s the perfect plan, as long as there’s no spicy salsa. You remember what happened last time....

Poor Dick and Sally. It's cold and wet and they're stuck in the house with nothing to do...until a giant cat in a hat shows up, transforming the dull day into a madcap adventure and almost wrecking the place in the process!

Sure, some parents are embarrassing - but they’re nothing on this lot. These 10 tales of the world’s most spectacularly silly mums and deliriously daft dads will leave you rocking with laughter. Pinch your nose for Peter Pong, the man with the stinkiest feet in the world...jump out of the way of Harriet Hurry, the fastest mum on two wheels...watch out for Monty Monopolize, the dad who takes all his kids' toys...and oh no, it’s Supermum! Brandishing a toilet brush, a mop and a very bad homemade outfit....

The fifth book of the New York Times best-selling series! Surviving their first winter after the Monster Apocalypse was no easy feat, yet Jack and his buddies waste no time springing to action against some of the nastiest, most evil monsters around. When Jack discovers his Louisville Slicer has new, otherworldly powers, he's thrown into epic training to find out what kind of destruction the blade can wield.

Mrs. Jeepers is taking her class to a science museum. But when they stumble onto a secret lab, it looks like the real science is going on behind the scenes! The curator, Dr. Victor, has a helper named Frank. Frank is tall, scarred, and likes to spend time in the greenhouse with his flowers—just like the creature in the book Liza just read. But Frank couldn't really be Frankenstein's monster, could he?

The problem with books on how to raise kids is that all those other authors have PhDs, MDs, or kids. Luckily this author has none of those limiting factors. Instead, you get hilarious advice based on observations and assumptions with zero evidence. It’s advice that will help you be the best parent you can be whether you have a real job, a fancy job, or a trust fund. Learn the secrets to: Picking a Favorite Winning Kindergarten How to Hide from the Kids Sharing Aggressive Driving for Teens ...and much more terrible advice

With his zombie-controlling powers growing stronger, Jack Sullivan and his buddies are road-tripping toward the mysterious Tower, where they must once and for all stop Rezzoch the Ancient, Destructor of Worlds, from descending upon our dimension. But their journey is sidetracked when they are swept up by the Mallusk, an enormous centipede monster carrying the world's largest shopping mall on its back.

Read all of Cindy Blackburn's Cozy Mysteries for FREE with Kindle Unlimited! Small sleuth, tiny town, unfailing fun. Welcome to Lake Elizabeth, Vermont, where the water’s growing colder, the leaves are turning orange, and Cassie Baxter is going nuts. Who wouldn’t go a little nuts with this latest unexpected development? Meet five-year-old Truman Tripp. Cassie, who is most definitely not a kid person, can’t understand why his mother left the child with her. But some even more perplexing problems soon present themselves, and Cassie’s already Looney Tunes life gets even loonier. Expect...

What’s Mac B.'s newest top-secret mission? Travel to Iceland and retrieve the ravens that were stolen from the Tower of London...before Britain is ruined. In Iceland, he discovers secret submarines, hungry polar bears, mysterious blueprints...and his old archnemesis! Is the KGB man behind this birdnapping? Can Mac get the ravens to safety? It's time for an epic top-secret smackdown between these two secret agents!

Join Nate the Great and his trusty companion, Sludge, in solving the greatest mysteries a boy could search for. In this collection, Nate hunts down a lost grocery list, a favorite stamp, a genius pet, a beach bag, a yucky valentine, second base, and an evil, book-destroying monster.

When the baddest of bad guys threatens the world with a giant black hole, Ben Braver is the only one who can stop it. Ready or not, he's about to learn what it really means to be a hero.

When Stanley Lambchop awakes one morning, his brother, Arthur, is yelling. A bulletin board has fallen on Stanley during the night, now he is only half an inch thick!

Nelson is a ninja. He's not the coolest. Or the bravest. But he is the world's nerdiest ninja! And now he has to stop an animal rampage and machines going crazy all over town! For that, he'll need his new jetpack...and some serious ninja skills! How will Nelson learn to fly when he's scared of heights?

Get the Poop: The Diary of a Dung Beetle Dookie is a friendly but hungry young dung beetle whose life revolves around poop. He eats poop, drinks poop, and even bathes in poop. At the end of the day, Dookie loves nothing more than to wash his hair with seagull poo in a nice warm bubble dung bath. Dookie and his best friend Turdy aren't fussy when it comes to eating poop. They'll devour unhealthy fast-poop from McDumps or fresh seapoo from Poopie Joe's Seapoo Shack. These poop-eating beetles will get poop however it's served! Dookie's mom needs an elephant pooball to lay her eggs, so she asks...

Hop on Pop read by David Hyde Pierce.

Everyone knows the cool beans. They’re sooooo cool. And then there’s the uncool has-bean.... Always on the sidelines, one bean unsuccessfully tries everything he can to fit in with the crowd - until one day the cool beans show him how it’s done. With equal measures of humor, wit, and charm, the number one New York Times best-selling Jory John crafts another incredible story, reminding us that it’s cooler to be kind.

It all started when my sister, Thea, discovered an old, mysterious map. In no time at all, my sister dragged me and my cousin Trap into her treasure hunt. It was an adventure I'd never forget.

Winter break is over, and it’s another five months until summer vacation. A.J. and his friends aren’t looking forward to school starting back up, but they’re even less excited when Dr. Carbles, president of the Board of Education, cancels ALL school holidays. No Presidents' Day, no Memorial Day, and forget about any snow days! Morale is down, but Mrs. Roopy, the librarian, has a trick up her sleeve. Instead of celebrating traditional holidays, the school will celebrate real holidays that no one has ever heard of!

When the Crown Jewels go missing from inside a locked room, Mac's spy skills are put to the test. How did the thief break in? Where did the jewels go? And will Mac be able to solve this locked-room mystery before the thief escapes? This mystery isn't just a whodunit...it's a howdunit! The action in this adventure is nonstop as Mac travels to an ancient Irish castle to solve the mystery. There, he encounters everything from killer king cobras to bizarre ice sculptures...and even a revenge plot dating back hundreds of years! Will you be able to solve the mystery before Mac does?

El tío Manuel se despertó una mañana de mal humor, La alarma de su reloj lo molestó por el ruido abrumador. Gritó: “¡Cállate, reloj!” y agitó su puño fuertemente, Presionó el botón de APAGADO de forma insolente.