Baby's First Book of Seriously F--ked-Up Shit
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Edoardo Ballerini
-
By:
-
Robert Devereaux
About this listen
Lambent Light Publishing presents nine stories of the strange, the gross, and the just plain f--ked up from Robert Devereaux, one of the most original voices in fantastic fiction.
- “Showdown at Stinking Springs” - A tall-tale faceoff in a dusty town. No guns drawn, just two seductive sex-slingers pitched against each other in a town due to be consumed in a series of libido-whipped firestorms.
- “Clap If You Believe” - When Alex courts a winged pixie no taller than his index finger, it falls to her normal-sized parents to determine if he’s the right kind of weirdo to properly love and care for their daughter.
- “Ridi, Bobo” - Clown noir told strictly in mime. A cheating wife, her suspicious husband, two young sons, and a weepy-faced detective spin this tragic tale of the Big Top.
- “Lil’ Miss Ultrasound” - A beauty contest for third-trimester fetuses, ferocious competition among their pregnant moms, and a judge with a most peculiar perversion indeed.
- “Bucky Goes to Church” - A young teen takes his revenge on a bullying town, only to receive an unexpected visit from God Almighty herself.
- “Fructus in Eden” - Suppose Adam and Eve had been forgiven their first transgression. And their second transgression. This Edenic foursome might have been the result.
- “One Flesh: A Cautionary Tale” - A savage tale loaded with unspeakable acts as a reincarnated - or so they believe - father-and-son pair spars over the choicest body parts of their widows.
- “The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman” - A story that pays homage to the B-movie schlock shown at '50s and '60s drive-ins. Climax: a human dildo at the Grand Canyon.
- “Holy Fast, Holy Feast” - Gurus, zombies, and young folk trying to survive in downtown Montreal struggle in this metafictional stew of love, lust, and terror.
Edoardo Ballerini, two-time Audie award winner as best male narrator, lends his considerable talents to these twisted tales of horror and dark fantasy.
©2013 Robert Devereaux (P)2020 Robert DevereauxListeners also enjoyed...
-
Blood Kin
- By: Ronald Kelly
- Narrated by: Gary Noon
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Josiah Craven had been all but forgotten for nearly a hundred years. To his descendants, he was nothing more than an imposing image in an old tintype photograph and the subject of stories told in hushed tones before the fireplace at night. A traveling mountain preacher who had returned from his wanderings and died under mysterious circumstances - buried in an unmarked grave with a wooden stake through his heart. Dudley Craven had heard the tales, but never believed them...until his plow unearthed an ancient coffin in the center of a lonesome mountain pasture.
-
-
Blood Kin
- By Anonymous User on 06-24-23
By: Ronald Kelly
-
Of Wicked Blood
- The Quatrefoil Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Olivia Wildenstein, Katie Hayoz
- Narrated by: Holly Fielding, Thomas Locklear
- Length: 14 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I didn't mean to steal the Bloodstone from the De Morel's crypt. Scratch that, I did mean to steal it. Until I realized it was a curse-magnet that only comes off if I, along with a jolly trio, successfully defeat four curses. If any of us fail, I'm dead. I've never been a glass half-empty sort of person, but my glass looks in dire need of a refill right about now. The only highlight of this wicked treasure hunt: feisty, entitled Cadence de Morel.
-
-
Wickedly good!
- By Erin on 03-22-21
By: Olivia Wildenstein, and others
-
Woom
- The Lonely Motel, Book 1
- By: Duncan Ralston
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Angel knows all about pain. His mother died in this room. He's researched its history. Today he's come back to end it, no matter the cost, once and for all. Shyla, a plus-sized escort, thinks the stories Angel tells her can't be true. Secrets so vile, you won't want to let them inside you. But the Lonely Motel doesn't forget. It doesn't forgive. And it always claims its victim.
-
-
Underwhelming “extreme” horror
- By Michelle Mendoza on 11-25-24
By: Duncan Ralston
-
The Scourge Series: The Complete Trilogy
- By: Tom Abrahams
- Narrated by: Kevin Pierce
- Length: 27 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the post-pandemic world of the Traveler series comes a new cast of characters, new obstacles, and the same devastating, world-altering virus that plunges society into the depth of a dystopian hell. Follow Mike Crenshaw and his friends as they try to survive this new landscape and find out how the world in which the Traveler series was set came into being. It's a thrill ride that will keep you up at night with the lights on and the doors locked.
-
-
Very good
- By Crus458 on 08-17-22
By: Tom Abrahams
-
Playground
- By: Aron Beauregard
- Narrated by: Lila Kerry
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three low-income families have been given a handsome retainer to join Geraldine Borden for a day at her cliffside estate. All the parents must do to collect the rest of their money is allow their children to test out the revolutionary playground equipment Geraldine has been working on for decades. But there’s a reason the structures in the bowels of her gothic castle have taken so long to develop—they were never meant to see the light of day.
-
-
Not for the weak-stomached.
- By Dan Bugbee on 01-26-23
By: Aron Beauregard
-
Dead Sea
- By: Brian Keene
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The city streets are no longer safe. They are filled instead with the living dead, rotting predators driven only by a need to kill and eat. Some of the living still struggle to survive, but with each passing day, their odds grow worse. Some survivors have fled, frantically searching for a place to escape, even briefly, the slaughter around them.
-
-
Safe at Sea…
- By DDViews on 04-05-23
By: Brian Keene
-
Blood Kin
- By: Ronald Kelly
- Narrated by: Gary Noon
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Josiah Craven had been all but forgotten for nearly a hundred years. To his descendants, he was nothing more than an imposing image in an old tintype photograph and the subject of stories told in hushed tones before the fireplace at night. A traveling mountain preacher who had returned from his wanderings and died under mysterious circumstances - buried in an unmarked grave with a wooden stake through his heart. Dudley Craven had heard the tales, but never believed them...until his plow unearthed an ancient coffin in the center of a lonesome mountain pasture.
-
-
Blood Kin
- By Anonymous User on 06-24-23
By: Ronald Kelly
-
Of Wicked Blood
- The Quatrefoil Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Olivia Wildenstein, Katie Hayoz
- Narrated by: Holly Fielding, Thomas Locklear
- Length: 14 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I didn't mean to steal the Bloodstone from the De Morel's crypt. Scratch that, I did mean to steal it. Until I realized it was a curse-magnet that only comes off if I, along with a jolly trio, successfully defeat four curses. If any of us fail, I'm dead. I've never been a glass half-empty sort of person, but my glass looks in dire need of a refill right about now. The only highlight of this wicked treasure hunt: feisty, entitled Cadence de Morel.
-
-
Wickedly good!
- By Erin on 03-22-21
By: Olivia Wildenstein, and others
-
Woom
- The Lonely Motel, Book 1
- By: Duncan Ralston
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Angel knows all about pain. His mother died in this room. He's researched its history. Today he's come back to end it, no matter the cost, once and for all. Shyla, a plus-sized escort, thinks the stories Angel tells her can't be true. Secrets so vile, you won't want to let them inside you. But the Lonely Motel doesn't forget. It doesn't forgive. And it always claims its victim.
-
-
Underwhelming “extreme” horror
- By Michelle Mendoza on 11-25-24
By: Duncan Ralston
-
The Scourge Series: The Complete Trilogy
- By: Tom Abrahams
- Narrated by: Kevin Pierce
- Length: 27 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the post-pandemic world of the Traveler series comes a new cast of characters, new obstacles, and the same devastating, world-altering virus that plunges society into the depth of a dystopian hell. Follow Mike Crenshaw and his friends as they try to survive this new landscape and find out how the world in which the Traveler series was set came into being. It's a thrill ride that will keep you up at night with the lights on and the doors locked.
-
-
Very good
- By Crus458 on 08-17-22
By: Tom Abrahams
-
Playground
- By: Aron Beauregard
- Narrated by: Lila Kerry
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three low-income families have been given a handsome retainer to join Geraldine Borden for a day at her cliffside estate. All the parents must do to collect the rest of their money is allow their children to test out the revolutionary playground equipment Geraldine has been working on for decades. But there’s a reason the structures in the bowels of her gothic castle have taken so long to develop—they were never meant to see the light of day.
-
-
Not for the weak-stomached.
- By Dan Bugbee on 01-26-23
By: Aron Beauregard
-
Dead Sea
- By: Brian Keene
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The city streets are no longer safe. They are filled instead with the living dead, rotting predators driven only by a need to kill and eat. Some of the living still struggle to survive, but with each passing day, their odds grow worse. Some survivors have fled, frantically searching for a place to escape, even briefly, the slaughter around them.
-
-
Safe at Sea…
- By DDViews on 04-05-23
By: Brian Keene
-
Ghost Story
- By: Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Buck Schirner
- Length: 22 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For four aging men in the terror-stricken town of Milburn, New York, an act inadvertently carried out in their youth has come back to haunt them. Now they are about to learn what happens to those who believe they can bury the past - and get away with murder. Peter Straub's classic best seller is a work of "superb horror" ( Washington Post Book World) that, like any good ghost story, stands the test of time - and conjures our darkest fears and nightmares.
-
-
Great Story! The Best of Peter Straub
- By Jaimie on 07-17-12
By: Peter Straub
-
Demon DIY Complete Trilogy
- By: Gwen Grayson, Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Alfie Syme, Suki Woodridge
- Length: 23 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My career as a realtor bored me, except for when I got to test my handyman skills. So, when I finally saved enough, I purchased the most rundown manor I could find. The problem? A few guests rest within its walls. Repairing the mansion is the challenge I craved, but a string of vandalisms keeps us on edge. Someone, or something, doesn’t want us living here. It turns out Sunnyside won’t be as peaceful as I expected.
-
-
Eh, It's OK
- By Zero Calvin on 08-24-24
By: Gwen Grayson, and others
-
Fates and Furies
- A Novel
- By: Lauren Groff
- Narrated by: Will Damron, Julia Whelan
- Length: 14 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the award-winning, New York Times best-selling author of The Monsters of Templeton, Arcadia, Florida and Matrix, an exhilarating novel about marriage, creativity, art, and perception. Fates and Furies is a literary masterpiece that defies expectation. A dazzling examination of a marriage, it is also a portrait of creative partnership written by one of the best writers of her generation. Every story has two sides. Every relationship has two perspectives.
-
-
Paean to Marriage, Mythology and Theatre
- By W Perry Hall on 09-20-15
By: Lauren Groff
-
Lotus
- A Love Story
- By: Jennifer Hartmann
- Narrated by: Marie Hawkins, TJ Clark
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To the rest of the world, he was the little boy who went missing on the Fourth of July. But to Sydney Neville, he was everything. Her heart hasn't been the same since her best friend disappeared, but she's learned to build her life around that missing piece. Twenty-two years later, the last thing Sydney expects is for Oliver Lynch to return. Having been captive underground for decades, he's unfamiliar with the strange new world that awaits him—but he's alive. He's here. And no matter how he's changed, he and Sydney both still feel the connection that runs between them.
-
-
Obsessed with these characters and this story!
- By Ashley on 11-30-23
-
A Life in the Cinema
- By: Mick Garris
- Narrated by: Joe R. Lansdale, Mick Garris, Steven Weber, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A Life in the Cinema is the first book from award-winning filmmaker Mick Garris. It is a collection of eight prickly tales that reach under the skin of real life and reel life to take you places you never realized you wanted to go. The title story "A Life in the Cinema" and its sequel "Starfucker", are set in the author's hometown of Hollywood and provide a yellow-jaundiced look at a world you only thought was glamorous.
-
-
Certainly a Master of Horror
- By YvesAdeleHarlow on 04-01-20
By: Mick Garris
-
My Dark Romeo
- Dark Prince Road, Book 1
- By: L.J. Shen, Parker S. Huntington
- Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Stella Hunter
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was supposed to be a harmless kiss at a lavish debutante ball. A clandestine moment with a handsome stranger. But unlike his namesake, my Romeo isn’t driven by love. He’s fueled by revenge. To him, I’m a chess piece. Leverage. His rival’s betrothed. To me, he is a man deserving of poison. A dark prince I refuse to marry. He thinks I’ll accept my fate. Well, I plan to rewrite it. And in my story, Juliet doesn’t die. But Romeo? He perishes.
-
-
〰️ YOU’RE ALL IN FOR A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL RIDE 〰️
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 03-16-23
By: L.J. Shen, and others
-
Forever Never
- By: Lucy Score
- Narrated by: Ramona Master
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You don’t fall for your brother’s high school sweetheart, your boss’ daughter, or your ex-wife’s best friend. Especially when they’re all the same woman. Under Brick Callan’s mile-wide chest beats a loyal heart with a few cracks in it. He’s the steadfast, overprotective type. Especially when it comes to the one woman he can never have. It’s a long, complicated history punctuated by fights, friendship, family, and an attraction that strains his iron willpower.
-
-
Ridiculous angst
- By DZM on 06-25-21
By: Lucy Score
-
Secret Shifters of Spokane Complete Series
- An Alpha Bear Shifter Romance, Books 1-4
- By: Selena Scott
- Narrated by: Craig A. Hart for HotGhost Productions
- Length: 16 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Spend a night with four alpha shifter brothers that will have you devouring this collection long into the early hours. If you love your shifters strong and alpha, determined to protect their mates at any cost, and passion so hot, don’t miss out on this box set of four full-audiobooks.
-
-
Fabulous Series - So Great to Get in One Set!!
- By KSon on 04-22-20
By: Selena Scott
-
Beneath a Pale Sky
- By: Philip Fracassi
- Narrated by: Adriel Brandt
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fans of cosmic horror will have much to sup on in these eight tales. The supernatural intrudes upon a wedding; a pier becomes the site of tragedy; a collapsed building is only the start of the nightmare for those trapped in the ruins; a scientist makes the discovery of a lifetime, only to find out that what he’s unearthed has dire consequences not only for himself, but for all of mankind.
-
-
Lots and f surprises!!
- By Joan on 12-02-21
By: Philip Fracassi
-
Disordered: The Complete Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist
- The Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist Book 8
- By: Cynthia St. Aubin
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 20 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist. Sure, the life of a sexy vampire or alpha shifter is all fabulous fur and fangs on T.V., but what happens when you lose your bite? You call Dr. Matilda Schmidt, of course! With the help of her delicious demigod bounty hunter and hot hit man lover, there's no case too desperate for the good doctor to handle - for a reasonable hourly fee.
-
-
Editing missed a few transitions
- By A.Ward on 07-09-16
-
Skin Folk
- Stories
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Skin Folk, with works ranging from science fiction to Caribbean folklore, passionate love to chilling horror, Nalo Hopkinson is at her award-winning best spinning tales like "Precious", in which the narrator spews valuable coins and gems from her mouth whenever she attempts to talk or sing. In "A Habit of Waste", a self-conscious woman undergoes elective surgery to alter her appearance; days later she's shocked to see her former body climbing onto a public bus.
-
-
mindblowingly exquisite!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-23-20
By: Nalo Hopkinson
-
Monster
- A Dark Arranged Marriage Romance
- By: Vanessa Waltz
- Narrated by: Oliver Clarke, Meg Sylvan
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
They call my husband-to-be "Mob Prince," but his happily-ever-after consists of bound wrists and broken promises. Tall, dark, and handsome don’t begin to describe his level of gorgeous. Tony Costa is a dangerous man with a beautiful face. We’re arranged to marry. Start a family. Or else.
-
-
Tony the Monster
- By Vicki on 10-17-21
By: Vanessa Waltz
Related to this topic
-
Dangerous Beauty
- Dangerous Beauty, Book 1
- By: J.T. Geissinger
- Narrated by: Aiden Snow, Lidia Dornet
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For Nasir, former Special Ops military man and bodyguard, his new job seems like an easy-money gig: Trail a Russian mobster’s runaway wife in Mexico, enjoy the sun, observe, and report. Just one rule: Don’t get too close. But it’s all Naz can do not to watch the alluring dancer’s every move. A closer look is irresistible - especially when she’s in trouble.
-
-
Action and Romance!
- By Melanie on 04-15-19
By: J.T. Geissinger
-
Demon Hunting In Dixie
- Demon Hunting Series, Book 1
- By: Lexi George
- Narrated by: Alexandra Ralph
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Addy Corwin is a florist with an attitude. A bad attitude, or so her mama says, ’cause she's not looking for a man. Mama's wrong. Addy has looked. There's just not much to choose from in Hannah, her small Alabama hometown. Until Brand Dalvahni shows up, a supernaturally sexy, breathtakingly well-built hunk of a warrior from - well, not from around here, that's for sure. Mama thinks he might be European or maybe even a Yankee. Brand says he's from another dimension.
-
-
Fantastic book. Narrator was amazing.
- By G. Smith on 09-24-20
By: Lexi George
-
Rabbit, Run
- By: John Updike
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Rabbit, Run is the book that established John Updike as one of the major American novelists of his - or any other - generation. Its hero is Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom, a onetime high-school basketball star who on an impulse deserts his wife and son. He is 26 years old, a man-child caught in a struggle between instinct and thought, self and society, sexual gratification and family duty - even, in a sense, human hard-heartedness, and divine Grace. Though his flight from home traces a zigzag of evasion, he holds to the faith that he is on the right path.
-
-
A Thinking Man's Novel
- By L. Berlyne on 01-12-09
By: John Updike
-
June First
- By: Jennifer Hartmann
- Narrated by: Neill Thorne, Stefanie Kay
- Length: 16 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Want to know what happens to a man who barely claws his way out of a tragedy, only to fall right into the arms of the one girl in the world he can never have? Another tragedy, that's what. When I was six years old, my father made a choice that altered the course of my entire life. Because of what he did, the only girl I ever loved became the only girl I couldn’t have. In a lot of ways, I did have her; I had her first steps, her first words, her first smile. I had her milestones, her heartbreaks, her dreams.
-
-
😍😍 I love this book so much!
- By Gabe_Reads on 03-01-23
-
Lush Money
- By: Angelina M. Lopez
- Narrated by: Scarlette Hayes
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Billionaire CEO Roxanne Medina has conquered small-town bullies, Princeton snobs, and boardrooms of white male executives who looked down on her Mexican-American ancestry. Mothering a princess - and feeling a little less lonely at the top - is her next rightful adventure. The self-made billionaire feels the bargain she offers the prince is reasonable: After three nights a month in her bed for a year, she will divorce him with a settlement large enough to save the small Spanish principality that means everything to him.
-
-
Have never read a romance novel
- By Amazon Customer on 12-06-19
-
Divine by Mistake
- Partholon, Book 1
- By: P. C. Cast
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 16 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Surrounded by old folks and even older artifacts at an auction, high school English teacher Shannon Parker never expects to find something that shocks her down to her very core: an ancient vase, complete with a beautiful painting of a goddess that looks just like her. And just as she's stealing away with her seriously suspicious purchase, she's magically thrown into the world of Partholon, where not only has she taken the place of Rhiannon, Goddess Incarnate and Epona's Chosen, but she's due to be married to a surly (but oh-so-handsome) High Shaman centaur, ClanFintan.
-
-
Skip if rape is a trigger
- By Renee Smith on 12-11-19
By: P. C. Cast
-
Dangerous Beauty
- Dangerous Beauty, Book 1
- By: J.T. Geissinger
- Narrated by: Aiden Snow, Lidia Dornet
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For Nasir, former Special Ops military man and bodyguard, his new job seems like an easy-money gig: Trail a Russian mobster’s runaway wife in Mexico, enjoy the sun, observe, and report. Just one rule: Don’t get too close. But it’s all Naz can do not to watch the alluring dancer’s every move. A closer look is irresistible - especially when she’s in trouble.
-
-
Action and Romance!
- By Melanie on 04-15-19
By: J.T. Geissinger
-
Demon Hunting In Dixie
- Demon Hunting Series, Book 1
- By: Lexi George
- Narrated by: Alexandra Ralph
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Addy Corwin is a florist with an attitude. A bad attitude, or so her mama says, ’cause she's not looking for a man. Mama's wrong. Addy has looked. There's just not much to choose from in Hannah, her small Alabama hometown. Until Brand Dalvahni shows up, a supernaturally sexy, breathtakingly well-built hunk of a warrior from - well, not from around here, that's for sure. Mama thinks he might be European or maybe even a Yankee. Brand says he's from another dimension.
-
-
Fantastic book. Narrator was amazing.
- By G. Smith on 09-24-20
By: Lexi George
-
Rabbit, Run
- By: John Updike
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Rabbit, Run is the book that established John Updike as one of the major American novelists of his - or any other - generation. Its hero is Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom, a onetime high-school basketball star who on an impulse deserts his wife and son. He is 26 years old, a man-child caught in a struggle between instinct and thought, self and society, sexual gratification and family duty - even, in a sense, human hard-heartedness, and divine Grace. Though his flight from home traces a zigzag of evasion, he holds to the faith that he is on the right path.
-
-
A Thinking Man's Novel
- By L. Berlyne on 01-12-09
By: John Updike
-
June First
- By: Jennifer Hartmann
- Narrated by: Neill Thorne, Stefanie Kay
- Length: 16 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Want to know what happens to a man who barely claws his way out of a tragedy, only to fall right into the arms of the one girl in the world he can never have? Another tragedy, that's what. When I was six years old, my father made a choice that altered the course of my entire life. Because of what he did, the only girl I ever loved became the only girl I couldn’t have. In a lot of ways, I did have her; I had her first steps, her first words, her first smile. I had her milestones, her heartbreaks, her dreams.
-
-
😍😍 I love this book so much!
- By Gabe_Reads on 03-01-23
-
Lush Money
- By: Angelina M. Lopez
- Narrated by: Scarlette Hayes
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Billionaire CEO Roxanne Medina has conquered small-town bullies, Princeton snobs, and boardrooms of white male executives who looked down on her Mexican-American ancestry. Mothering a princess - and feeling a little less lonely at the top - is her next rightful adventure. The self-made billionaire feels the bargain she offers the prince is reasonable: After three nights a month in her bed for a year, she will divorce him with a settlement large enough to save the small Spanish principality that means everything to him.
-
-
Have never read a romance novel
- By Amazon Customer on 12-06-19
-
Divine by Mistake
- Partholon, Book 1
- By: P. C. Cast
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 16 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Surrounded by old folks and even older artifacts at an auction, high school English teacher Shannon Parker never expects to find something that shocks her down to her very core: an ancient vase, complete with a beautiful painting of a goddess that looks just like her. And just as she's stealing away with her seriously suspicious purchase, she's magically thrown into the world of Partholon, where not only has she taken the place of Rhiannon, Goddess Incarnate and Epona's Chosen, but she's due to be married to a surly (but oh-so-handsome) High Shaman centaur, ClanFintan.
-
-
Skip if rape is a trigger
- By Renee Smith on 12-11-19
By: P. C. Cast
-
Disordered: The Complete Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist
- The Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist Book 8
- By: Cynthia St. Aubin
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 20 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist. Sure, the life of a sexy vampire or alpha shifter is all fabulous fur and fangs on T.V., but what happens when you lose your bite? You call Dr. Matilda Schmidt, of course! With the help of her delicious demigod bounty hunter and hot hit man lover, there's no case too desperate for the good doctor to handle - for a reasonable hourly fee.
-
-
Editing missed a few transitions
- By A.Ward on 07-09-16
-
Arcadia
- By: Lauren Groff
- Narrated by: Andrew Garman
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lauren Groff’s acclaimed debut novel The Monsters of Templeton was short-listed for the Orange Prize. Her second novel, Arcadia opens in the late 1960s with a group of young idealists forming a commune in western New York State. Into this group is born Bit, who grows into a quiet, distant man. Over the course of 50 years, Bit witnesses the utopia crumble and the world change in unimaginable ways.
-
-
Luscious prose, intimate and realistic
- By Kathleen on 03-22-12
By: Lauren Groff
-
Hemlock Grove
- or, The Wise Wolf
- By: Brian McGreevy
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The body of a young girl is found mangled and murdered in the woods of Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania, in the shadow of the abandoned Godfrey Steel Mill. A manhunt ensues - though the authorities aren’t sure if it's a man they should be looking for.
-
-
Very similar to the TV show
- By Erin on 01-01-14
By: Brian McGreevy
-
Love Bites
- Tails from the Alpha Art Gallery, Book 1
- By: Cynthia St. Aubin
- Narrated by: Stella Hunter
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A girl's gotta eat—and so do her three cats. Recently divorced art history grad student Hanna Harvey has just fibbed her way into a job as the assistant to dangerously drool-worthy art gallery owner Mark Abernathy. For Hanna, working in the field she desperately loves provides the perfect opportunity to begin putting her life back together. Soon her cheese budget is in the black and her feline life partners are no longer eyeing her like a can of Fancy Feast. But when her boss's lady friends start turning up dead, Hanna finds herself in the crosshairs of a murder investigation.
-
-
I did not expect to like it!
- By Claudia on 10-31-22
-
Sula
- By: Toni Morrison
- Narrated by: Toni Morrison
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nel and Sula's devotion is fierce enough to withstand bullies and the burden of a dreadful secret. It endures even after Nel has grown up to be a pillar of the black community and Sula has become a pariah. But their friendship ends in an unforgivable betrayal—or does it end? Terrifying, comic, ribald and tragic, Sula is a work that overflows with life.
-
-
Good against evil and a riotous story to boot
- By Karen on 04-11-11
By: Toni Morrison
-
Nightshade
- Nightshade Duology, Book 1
- By: Keri Lake
- Narrated by: Islay Jacobs, Ryan West
- Length: 20 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My father called them messengers. He once told me they walked among us and that somewhere in this dark and godless city, there shined a faint sliver of hope. I had only to look for the signs. Well, I’ve spent my whole life investigating the inexplicable and all I've found are the unsettling vestiges of iniquity—the evidence of another world shrouded by the obscure. Purgatory to some, where depravity hides in shadows, and girls like me are little more than delicious bites of temptation. Others call it Nightshade.
-
-
Oh. My. Goodness!
- By 561jack on 09-06-23
By: Keri Lake
What listeners say about Baby's First Book of Seriously F--ked-Up Shit
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- timj26
- 09-30-22
Exactly as advertised
A wonderfully bizarre mix of erotica and violence
The narrator does an excellent job with this one
If you’re looking for a different experience the title says it all
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bill
- 08-31-22
Baby is going to love this
I can’t figure out this if I hate or love the title of this one. It did put me off on reading it for a while because…I don’t know why…
It has grown on me however mostly because it was really f'n good. Really f’n good.
The writing was crisp, stories paced perfectly and of course it had plenty of seriously f***ed-up sh*t. Just the way I like it.
A carousel of cruelty, pizza topping cheek flesh, boobies - nature’s bounty, clown anatomy lessons, sexing Tink, melting strawberry popsicles, failed vulvectomy and a bucket of crimson confetti.
Yep. Seriously f***ed-up sh*t.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful