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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, Maria Bamford, Patton Oswalt, Wyatt Cenac, Tommy Chong, Lewis Black, Tony Hale, Natasha Leggero, John O’Hurley, Nick Thune, Brent Weinbach
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
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Publisher's summary
Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
Contains explicit content.
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Audible Recycling
- By Greg Hill on 11-17-18
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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107 Short Humorous Stories for Seniors
- Funny Easy-to-Read Stories to Reignite Memories, Stir Up Nostalgia, and Spark Conversations
- By: Tenlee Graham
- Narrated by: Christopher O'Neill
- Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dive into a world of laughter with "107 Short Humorous Stories for Seniors," a collection that celebrates the quirky and comical moments of senior life. Perfect for quick listens, this book brings together anecdotes of generational clashes, technological mishaps, and everyday adventures that are sure to spark joy and nostalgia.
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Great material for groups
- By Brandon on 08-23-24
By: Tenlee Graham
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The Zeta Family
- By: Gretchen Enders
- Narrated by: Kevin Nealon, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Goodmurphy
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Story
Set on a large ranch in rural upstate New York, it’s early days for the eccentric group of people who call themselves "The Zeta Family" - quite possibly the next big cult phenomenon. Our protagonist, Katie, is an aspiring reporter who has decided to infiltrate the compound, and her future success as a journalist depends entirely on her ability to win the confidence of Zeta Doug, the likable spiritual leader of the group. He’s like a cross between Hunter S. Thompson and George R. R. Martin, with a little too much sci-fi in his head and acid in his blood stream.
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Really enjoyable
- By [Redacted] on 01-18-20
By: Gretchen Enders
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- By: John Lutz
- Narrated by: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Story
In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- By Jeffrey veals on 04-03-20
By: John Lutz
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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Twain’s Feast
- By: Audible Originals
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Twain, beloved American writer, performer, and humorist, was a self-proclaimed glutton. With the help of a chef and some friends, Nick Offerman presents the story of Twain’s life through the lens of eight of Mark Twain’s favorite foods.
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Audible Recycling
- By Greg Hill on 11-17-18
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
107 Short Humorous Stories for Seniors
- Funny Easy-to-Read Stories to Reignite Memories, Stir Up Nostalgia, and Spark Conversations
- By: Tenlee Graham
- Narrated by: Christopher O'Neill
- Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dive into a world of laughter with "107 Short Humorous Stories for Seniors," a collection that celebrates the quirky and comical moments of senior life. Perfect for quick listens, this book brings together anecdotes of generational clashes, technological mishaps, and everyday adventures that are sure to spark joy and nostalgia.
-
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Great material for groups
- By Brandon on 08-23-24
By: Tenlee Graham
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The Zeta Family
- By: Gretchen Enders
- Narrated by: Kevin Nealon, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Goodmurphy
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Set on a large ranch in rural upstate New York, it’s early days for the eccentric group of people who call themselves "The Zeta Family" - quite possibly the next big cult phenomenon. Our protagonist, Katie, is an aspiring reporter who has decided to infiltrate the compound, and her future success as a journalist depends entirely on her ability to win the confidence of Zeta Doug, the likable spiritual leader of the group. He’s like a cross between Hunter S. Thompson and George R. R. Martin, with a little too much sci-fi in his head and acid in his blood stream.
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Really enjoyable
- By [Redacted] on 01-18-20
By: Gretchen Enders
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- By: John Lutz
- Narrated by: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- By Jeffrey veals on 04-03-20
By: John Lutz
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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An Act of God
- By: David Javerbaum
- Narrated by: Sean Hayes, Cheyenne Jackson, Colman Domingo, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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The One with the first and last word on everything has finally arrived to set the record straight. After many millennia, and in just 90 minutes, God (assisted by his devoted angels) answers some of the deepest questions that have plagued mankind since Creation.
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Not funny at all.
- By Beto on 04-07-20
By: David Javerbaum
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Cut and Run
- A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy
- By: Ben Acker, Ben Blacker
- Narrated by: Meg Ryan, D’Arcy Carden, Sam Richardson, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Samantha is a professional seductress and con artist with a heart of gold. If she talked about her work, she’d tell you she only pilfers organs for medical research and that she only takes one kidney, and she only steals those kidneys from dishonest people. It’s hell on her social life. Abe is the doctor and Sam's partner in crime. He isn’t much of a criminal. Except for the kidney stealing. But he’s using that money to fund his research that he anticipates will be able to cure diabetes. So, all for a good cause...? You decide. Of course, it's hell on his social life.
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Dumb and funny
- By R. MCRACKAN on 02-01-20
By: Ben Acker, and others
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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All Rise
- Audio Perambulation
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 1 hr and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice.
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Thank you The Daily Show!
- By Corbet on 10-16-20
By: Nick Offerman
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Gumption
- Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
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Swagger and mirth
- By Tamara Shope on 09-14-15
By: Nick Offerman
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Brackish Waters
- By: Matt Boren
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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The kinda amazing that only comes once in every few years
- By Myra Mirza on 06-24-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Passable in Pink
- By: Mike Sacks
- Narrated by: Gillian Jacobs, Adam Scott, Bobby Moynihan, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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When love reigns supreme in Northridge High just outside Chicago, by the lake, it happens beneath the soft, pink-infused spotlights hovering over that most special night of the year - prom night. Passable in Pink is an Audible Original from New York Times best-selling author Mike Sacks (Stinker Lets Loose!). Sacks has teamed up once again with director Eric Jason Martin (Stinker Lets Loose!, Heads Will Roll) to adapt a forgotten John Hughes-type 1983 movie into a fully immersive cinematic audio experience, with an epic all-star cast.
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A classic parody, f**ing funny as hell.
- By S.Hull on 11-28-19
By: Mike Sacks
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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64th Man
- Starring John Cena and Anna Chlumsky
- By: Bryan Tucker, Zack Phillips
- Narrated by: John Cena, Anna Chlumsky, Jane Curtin, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Original Recording
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In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.
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I LOVE YOU JOHN CENA!
- By Victoria on 11-15-19
By: Bryan Tucker, and others
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A Crazy Inheritance
- Ghostsitter 1
- By: Tommy Krappweis
- Narrated by: Michael Braun, Marc Vietor, Jay Snyder, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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When Tom is invited to the reading of a will of a great-uncle he’s never heard of, there’s no way to know what to expect. But on the long list of possible things to inherit, a travelling carnival ghost train is the very last on the list. To get his full $10 million inheritance, all Tom has to do is run the antique ride until his 18th birthday. Easy. Except for a strange caped-creep he’s never met, who’s trying to con him out of the money...and the actual ghosts and ghouls who call the ride home.
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Great Wombie’s Rabbit! Fun kids book.
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 06-06-20
By: Tommy Krappweis
What listeners say about Bedtime Stories for Cynics
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Elizabeth
- 10-23-19
💗😁💗
grrrrreat! the main narrator presenting the stories was my fave part, but absolutely loved everything about it
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- Hitch
- 08-23-19
Petty Good
Loved the narration and all star cast. It just wasn't as good as the other book.
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- BA25000
- 01-20-20
great
loved it! made me laugh and smile. loves all the stories and the comedians. awesome
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- Duhaney
- 11-21-21
uhhmm! 😴😴😴
was this supposed to be funny. mission accomplished, I guess!!! . performance great but the content is wanting. 😴😴😴
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- Rakayia Holmes
- 04-28-22
Hilarious
I enjoyed all of these stories! The intro's had me on the floor laughing. My work is stressful sometimes and listening to this while doing crappy tasks made the time fly! Thanks for every story. I looked up a couple times and was like....wait. Very good and easy listen. I will certainly replay on restless nights. 🌙
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- Cakegirl
- 01-30-22
Fun Collection
Loved this fun assortment of stories. The vocal performances especially the narration by Nick Offerman was great.
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- Victor R.
- 09-29-22
great adult stories
great stories and a great cast of celebrities to voice different stories. highly recommend
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- Karen
- 04-10-23
I'm no rat!
Hilariously new take on childhood stories we all grew up listening to. Loved it!
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- Nessa
- 05-23-19
Depressingly Funny
Firstly, if you had a childhood where you grew up on fairy tales, DO NOT listen to this book. It will literally spoil every single beautiful fairy tale you knew and loved so much as it turns every single one into something horrifying. Don't get me wrong, they are extremely funny but I was so surprised at the outcome of some of these stories...lo... I'm sorry, I can't give a straight comment on this book.
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5 people found this helpful
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- C.D.
- 05-21-19
Not for sensitive people
Hysterical i couldnt stop listening, abosolutly worth it.... Nick Offerman performance is as always stellar.....
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4 people found this helpful