Bloody Hell
A Dark Urban Fantasy Story (The Legacy of a Vampire Witch, Book 1)
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Narrated by:
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Kelley Hazen
About this listen
They tried to cut out my heart. But, before I was a vampire, I was a witch. They couldn’t get rid of me that easily.
My name's Mercy Brown, but don't let my name fool you; I'm merciless. It had been almost a century and a half since I last encountered anyone from the Order of the Morning Dawn. They were religious fundamentalists with the dual goal of eliminating vampires and witches. Being both a vampire and a witch, I was the embodiment of everything the Order hates. Their first attempt to eliminate me failed. Thanks to the fact that my mentor in the Craft was also a necromancer. When they burned my heart, they didn’t kill me. They unwittingly completed a spell that tied my existence to the soul of one who took my place in hell.
Now, I’m heartless, literally. Not having a heart has some advantages. It means I’m pretty resilient, especially when it comes to wooden stakes. So long as the soul bound to my existence remained in hell, I was virtually invincible. But, the Order figured it out. They hope to redeem the soul who was damned in my stead. If they do that, I’ll meet the true death for sure.
I have to capture the one damned in my place before the Order manages to liberate him from perdition. If they free him, I will die. I have to go to bloody hell.
©2020 Theophilus Monroe (P)2021 Theophilus MonroeListeners also enjoyed...
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Stuntwoman Dawn Madison hasn't been on the best of terms with her father since her movie star mother died. Still, he is her dad, and when he vanishes while investigating the bizarre sighting - caught on film - of a supposedly long-dead child star, she comes home to Tinseltown to join the search for him. Working with his odd colleagues, she discovers an erotic and bloody underground society made up of creatures she thought existed only on the screen.
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awesome
- By Sl on 01-23-15
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Red-Headed Stepchild
- By: Jaye Wells
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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Witchling
- Otherworld, Book 1
- By: Yasmine Galenorn
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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We're the D'Artigo sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we are savvy - and sexy - operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency. But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times. My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she's stressed. Menolly's a vampire who is still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I'm Camille - a wicked-good witch. Except my magic is as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way.
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Meh.
- By Charlene on 07-02-10
By: Yasmine Galenorn
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Aaron on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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The Originals
- The Rise
- By: Julie Plec
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Arriving in New Orleans in 1722, Original vampire siblings Klaus, Elijah, and Rebekah Mikaelson believe they've escaped their dangerous past. But the city is lawless, a haven for witches and werewolves unwilling to share territory. The siblings are at their mercy... especially after Klaus meets the beautiful and mysterious Vivianne. Her impending marriage is key to ending the war between the supernatural factions - and Klaus' attraction to her could destroy the uneasy alliance.
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the TV show is better
- By charro on 05-09-15
By: Julie Plec
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Darkfever
- Fever, Book 1
- By: Karen Marie Moning
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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MacKayla Lane's life is good. She has great friends, a decent job, and a car that breaks down only every other week or so. In other words, she's your perfectly ordinary 21st-century woman. Or so she thinks...until something extraordinary happens.
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Stick with it!
- By Dana on 01-27-11
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Lazy Son
- Hell's Son, Book 1
- By: Eve Langlais
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The problem with being born with expectations is the failure to live up to any. Christopher might be the antichrist, but taking over the world and leading the minions of darkness sounds like a lot of work. And while slacking is a sin his supposed dad Lucifer approves of, his lack of goals is a problem. Personally, Christopher would rather just work hard enough to make ends meet - and maybe buy a six-pack. But fate is conspiring against him.
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Brilliant surprise
- By debbolsen on 01-10-19
By: Eve Langlais
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Dark Awakening
- By: Kendra Leigh Castle
- Narrated by: Peter Bradbury
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Acclaimed for her richly imagined paranormal romances, Kendra Leigh Castle begins her Dark Dynasties series with this sizzling tale. Shapeshifting vampire Tynan MacGillivray has been ordered to find a human seer who can give his clan the upper hand in a devastating war. So he tracks down Lily Quinn, and together they discover a new world of danger, sensuality, and powers that cannot be controlled.
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Vampire Shape Shifters? So Unnecessary...
- By Sabrina Smith on 10-31-13
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The Originals
- The Loss
- By: Julie Plec
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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After a hurricane destroyed their city, Klaus, Elijah, and Rebekah Mikaelson have rebuilt New Orleans to even greater glory. The year is 1766. The witches live on the fringes in the bayou. The werewolves have fled. But still Klaus isn't satisfied. He wants more. He wants power. But when Klaus finally finds a witch who will perform a spell to give him what he desires most, she secretly uses Klaus to unleash a curse - one that brings back hundreds of her ancestors - and begins a war to reclaim New Orleans.
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Love it!
- By Naomi Peniza on 06-23-24
By: Julie Plec
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The (Sort of) Dark Mage
- Waldo Rabbit Series, Book 1
- By: Nelson Chereta
- Narrated by: Gary Furlong
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The (Sort of) Dark Mage is the story of a young man named Waldo who grows up in a world where monsters, the undead, and dark magic are part of everyday life. He is forced to go on a journey to prove himself and soon discovers that his beliefs don't fit into the wider world.
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Engaging, but has no ending.
- By Ryan on 07-30-17
By: Nelson Chereta
What listeners say about Bloody Hell
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lidia Chymkowska
- 03-13-22
It has potential...
Well, I needed almost two weeks to think over my review for this book... On the one hand, it was a really nice listen, one that kept me going on without much disappointment or irritation; on the other, I did not feel an urge to listen to the second part immediately after finishing the first... So I'd say it has some potential, but still needs a little bit more of that spark that would grasp me and make me forget about the world around...
There are two things that kind of killed the curiosity in me while listening: one, the vampire lore itself - there is a lot of information on how vampires and their world work, but because there are not many real differences between this book's vampire world and so many others out there, this amount of information felt excessive and slowed the dynamics of the plot. Secondly, I felt rather indifferent to Mercy, the main heroine - I neither liked nor disliked her, her cruelty and mercilessness (so much talked about in the book) didn't move me at all, and she reminded me more of a naive child that hadn't yet been taught how to control emotions and impulses rather than a monster she's supposed (?) to be. I also didn't buy her plans to somehow save her brother and herself...
That said, the plot itself was quite interesting, even with the slower first part, some ideas mentioned in this first installment will probably be developed later on (there's much potential there), also some of the secondary characters are very well written and the ending does make you want to find out what will happen next, even if you don't want to just immediately jump into the next book.
Generally, it's an OK book, and quite a good introduction to the new series, I think.
When it comes to narration, Ms Hazen as always does a great job, saving the book in some weaker moments:) She adds life and energy where they're lacking in writing. It's a great interpretation of the story.
DISCLAIMER: I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- AmberK5
- 01-14-22
Good beginning to this series!
Bloody Hell is the 1st in this series by Theophilus Monroe.
I enjoyed this story and thought it was a good beginning. I love how sassy Mercy, the MC was and look forward to more in this series!
Enjoyable audio narration as well!!
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- debbie
- 01-24-22
Vampire Witch
I really enjoyed this story and I I thought the narrator did a good job as Mercy. I look forward to seeing her story progress.
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- Richard & Ashley
- 12-19-21
Anne Rice Meets True Blood
Bloody Hell is the 1st book in the "Legacy of the Vampire Witch" series by Theophilus Monroe. To me, it felt like modern Anne Rice meets True Blood and I absolutely loved it! The story opens with Mercy dying of consumption. Mal (a witch) comes to her and offers to cure her. They perform a ritual on Samhain that would save her within 3 months. Mercy is visited by the first Vampire, Niko, and turned. Her blood craving was so strong she started feeding off her younger brother. Her father, in turn, tries to kill her but is unsuccessful due to Mal removing her brother's heart and burning it - sending him to hell and also making Mercy unkillable. The caveat - if her brother manages to return or his soul is sent to heaven, Mercy will die a true death. Niko takes Mercy under his wing along with her semi romance interest, Ramon - who is also sired by Niko. The whole story revolves around them trying to stop the Order of the Morning Dawn, a group that wants to destroy vampires and witches, which Mercy is both. Mercy isn't ready to meet her real death and she will do everything to ensure that doesn't happen.
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- lynda
- 12-17-21
A Great Listen
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the narrator and extremely enjoyable. Being 19 and dying of consumption will make you do anything to stay alive. That's what Mercy did and now she's heartless vampire witch and never had so much fun, even though religious fundamentalists are trying to kill her. The interesting and intriguing characters keep you listening, wondering what unexpected twist will happen next in this action packed tale. It's very enjoyable and I'm looking forward to book 2.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jackie T
- 02-05-22
Fantastic
What a superb story. Mercy is a vampire and a witch. Quite a combination. The Narrator takes you into the story and makes you believe you’re a part of it. I absolutely enjoyed every bit.
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- Korra II Baskerville
- 01-27-22
Baskerville Book Reviews
This is just what I needed. I love vampire stories and have since I was a kid. Bloody Hell gets extra points for being creative though. It gives you interesting characters, fuses vampire mythology with actual history so the lore actually makes sense.
Bloody Hell solves a lot of issues with vampires. How do vampires not kill off the human population in a few years? Not all of their bites turn and not all of their bites are lethal. There’s the bonus about them not needing to feed as often, the older they get. Which makes them more sustainable. The way the lore is mixed in with real-world history is smooth.
While I only had a few hours with the characters, they’re pretty few and far between. You get plenty of time to grow familiar with them. I feel attached to these characters after only a short time because they all feel distinct and unique. I want to see how their stories play out in the sequels. Most of the time, by the time I’m done with a book, I can’t even remember half the characters’ names.
The story is read kinda like a diary. See the summary for an example. I’m not overly fond of this storytelling method, but it’s at least done well here. It could be this is the reason I was able to feel like I came to know these characters so quickly.
The story is a rollercoaster of emotions and I really didn’t want it to stop. I will add that most of it is set up for the world. The action doesn’t really behind until the end.
The narrator did a truly fine job of bringing this story to life.
NOTE: This copy was provided to me free of charge as a digital review copy. The opinions stated in this review are mine and mine alone, I was not paid or requested to give this book a certain rating, suggestion, or approval.
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- trufriends
- 12-19-21
heartless
Mercy a witch turned vampire instead of dying when her own father from the Order of the Morning Dawn removes her heart but instead of sending her to hell, sends her brother.
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- Kimberly
- 01-11-22
Interesting enough
I’ll keep listening to the series. I was left not really knowing what way I feel about the main character I’m not sure if she’s good or evil or something hat she is haha.
Narration was good I liked the voices used for all characters, definitely different from the usual bland voices you hear.
I like that this book was set over centuries. At the end of this book I feel somewhat at a loss as to how I feel about it. I need the next book to cement my feelings I think.
3 stars
Gifted audio in exchange for an honest review.
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- Jan M
- 01-05-22
Intriguing
Bloody Hell by Theophilus Monroe is both intriguing and vibrant. The imagery of the book was really well done. I was pulled into the story by the incredible narration by Kelley Hazen. She really brought the characters to life with her voice by giving them distinguishable voices that fit.
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