How to Become the Primary Narcissistic Supply to Your Narcissist: Covert Tactics to a Better Relationship in a Narcissist Epidemic
Transcend Mediocrity, Book 122
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Narrated by:
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Valerie Clark
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By:
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J.B. Snow
About this listen
Many people who have dated or chosen to marry narcissistic people come to me for help. They need to know how to relate to their narcissists. They must learn how to stay out of the lines of fire of the narcissists. They are stuck in cycles of abuse and manipulation, with seemingly no end in sight. They are distraught at the possibility of continuing the relationships, but they are also at a loss as to how to continue on without their partners.
A relationship with a narcissistic and self-absorbed person doesn't have to end. Despite the person being extremely immature and deficient in social, cognitive, and communication skills, he often still deserves to be loved and to belong. After all, acceptance and belonging are two of the most basic needs of human beings. Most humans deserve to feel some sense of acceptance and belonging, even if they have made mistakes or are immature in how they relate to others.
Narcissists make many mistakes, and they often don't know how to relate to other people. The more mistakes a narcissist makes in regard to relating to others, the bleaker and more dismal his outlook on life becomes. It is no wonder a narcissist will begin to have a conduct disorder, an adjustment disorder, or mental health issues. Even if narcissists want to relate in positive ways to others, experiences have shown that they cannot do so without a great deal of pain and frustration. And thus they might give up on relating positively with anyone at all.
But how does one begin to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? Don't narcissists generally destroy any ability to have safe and healthy relationships by their very narcissistic natures? Doesn't their self-absorbed behavior conflict with the very acts of giving and intimacy that are necessary in an intimate relationship? Most of the time, a relationship with a narcissist cannot reach levels of personal security and freedom that are experienced in healthy relationships.
©2016 J.B. Snow (P)2016 J.B. SnowListeners also enjoyed...
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It’s a beautiful day in Newport, Rhode Island, when Phoebe Stone arrives at the grand Cornwall Inn wearing a green dress and gold heels, not a bag in sight, alone. She's immediately mistaken by everyone in the lobby for one of the wedding people, but she’s actually the only guest at the Cornwall who isn’t here for the big event. Phoebe is here because she’s dreamed of coming for years—she hoped to shuck oysters and take sunset sails with her husband, only now she’s here without him, at rock bottom, and determined to have one last decadent splurge on herself.
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What a beautiful book
- By Brooke Baker on 08-15-24
By: Alison Espach
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Atomic Habits
- An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
- By: James Clear
- Narrated by: James Clear
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving - every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change.
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start here, if you are looking to achieve in life
- By NL on 10-22-18
By: James Clear
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Booked for the Holidays
- By: Liz Maverick
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky, Andrew Eiden
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
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When mystery author D. B. Ziegler is late delivering her book, Abi Schore steps in to help. Surely she can give her favorite author moral support over the holiday break and get the manuscript to her boss at Tea & Sympathy Publishing in time for the new year. When Abi shows up on Ms. Ziegler’s doorstep bearing holiday treats, she’s met by the author’s handsome grandson Dov, who reveals a startling plot twist. His grandmother isn’t able to finish the book and Dov promised he’d complete it so fans won’t be disappointed—a task that’s harder than he ever imagined.
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What a gem!
- By Joanna N. on 11-14-24
By: Liz Maverick
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How My Neighbor Stole Christmas
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Vanessa Edwin, J.F. Harding, Robert Hatchet, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Living in a year around Christmas town has its drawbacks. The caroling, the decorations, the insanely cheery spirit, it never disappears. It's why I like to hibernate away in my cave - I mean housekeeping a healthy distance from the holly jolly spirits. And all was going according to plan until my nemesis, Storee Taylor, moved in next door to care for her Aunt Cindy. Without blinking, she turned my simple world into a real nightmare-before-Christmas, especially when she decided to enter the town Christmas Kringle contest - which she was determined to win.
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Anything But Christian
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-24
By: Meghan Quinn
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The God of the Woods
- A Novel
- By: Liz Moore
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Early morning, August 1975: a camp counselor discovers an empty bunk. Its occupant, Barbara Van Laar, has gone missing. Barbara isn’t just any thirteen-year-old: she’s the daughter of the family that owns the summer camp and employs most of the region’s residents. And this isn’t the first time a Van Laar child has disappeared. Barbara’s older brother similarly vanished fourteen years ago, never to be found.
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It’s good
- By Suzan Ando on 07-28-24
By: Liz Moore
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Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
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The Grandmother
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Anna Cordell, Max Dinnen
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Two little girls stand with their heads bowed in my living room. I’m told they’re my granddaughters. Daisy is nine, and Alice seven. Daisy is the spitting image of her mother. This is the first time I’ve met them since my daughter and I fell out after she married that waste of space, Vince. They’ve come to live with me because their mother — my daughter — was murdered. In her own home while they slept close by. I think Vince killed her. But the police can’t prove it. I’ve always known he was no good. He treated my daughter like dirt. I said he’d cheat on her — but she wouldn’t listen.
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Good story bad language
- By Patti on 12-18-24
By: Jane E. James
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The Women
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kristin Hannah
- Length: 14 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Women can be heroes. When twenty-year-old nursing student Frances “Frankie” McGrath hears these words, it is a revelation. Raised in the sun-drenched, idyllic world of Southern California and sheltered by her conservative parents, she has always prided herself on doing the right thing. But in 1965, the world is changing, and she suddenly dares to imagine a different future for herself. When her brother ships out to serve in Vietnam, she joins the Army Nurse Corps and follows his path.
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Great story
- By AJ Frithiof on 02-08-24
By: Kristin Hannah
What listeners say about How to Become the Primary Narcissistic Supply to Your Narcissist: Covert Tactics to a Better Relationship in a Narcissist Epidemic
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LeighAnn
- 04-21-19
Life changing
This book has just changed my life. I understand now I needed this, if you know someone like this..You must read this book. She makes it simple and easy to remember for when you need it most.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Dana
- 07-06-16
Its saying to be a doormat to the narcissist abuse
Basically you would have to endure all of the narcissist abusive behavior toward. you. Impossible! Without becoming messed up yourself is that really LOVE
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8 people found this helpful
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- Kathy Ensminger
- 10-16-21
Immensely helpful - short and sweet
Despite opinions of others- sometimes there really are good reasons to remain in a relationship with a narcissist. The tips in this book are super helpful and feel intuitively accurate in my soul. This will help me very much to not sink to his level as I have many times in the past.
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- T. Scryer
- 07-17-18
How to Avoid being abused by your NARC...
1st real hope I've found of surviving, even thriving, in a NARC relationship. Thank You!
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1 person found this helpful
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- MostlyHarmless
- 03-06-22
Realistic/practical advice
I have read dozens of books on the subject and the common approach to ‘how does one stay in a relationship with a narcissist’ is ‘here is some stuff you can try if you insist of being stupid and not leaving immediately, but really - nothing works and we know eventually you are going to want to leave anyhow’.
This is the first book that has an approach that doesn’t assume you are only interested in temporizing the situation and ‘surviving’ and has advice that assumes you want to have as much of a quality relationship as is possible in the situation.
Readers who complain that this suggests you ‘accommodate’ the narcissist do not ultimately understand narcissism. A relationship with a narcissist will NEVER be fair. Or emotionally rewarding/reciprocal in a ‘traditional’ sense. They are completely incapable of that for many reasons.
The consensus opinion is that ‘managing your expectations’ is key. This is all this book is suggesting. This is not martyrdom. It is simply that as a more emotionally mature person you will have to recognize what your narcissist’s buttons are and learn to work with that.
This is also one of the few books that doesn’t treat a narcissist like an unsalvageable dumpster fire and recognizes that under all the lashing out and blaster there is a hurt little boy/girl who has never felt loved, understood and supported.
Do you have to be the person to try to make up (and you never will) for years of emotional damage your narcissist has internalized so deeply it is now an integral part of their personality? Of course, not. But if for whatever reason this is a relationship you value and want to maintain - this is the best advice I have read. Just remember to manage expectations and expect to take care of most of your emotional needs yourself/elsewhere outside of this particular relationship.
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- Salina
- 04-01-18
Helpful, but frustrating
The content itself was alright. Unfortunately there is not really a super sweet, fair way to navigate a relationship with a narcissist. The reader of the book did a good job, but the quality of the sound was not very good. It sounded like she was moving close then moving away from the microphone.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Bethany l Bartlett
- 04-28-16
helpful
can't wait to implement with my husband as I am at a loss in my marriage..
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- SF
- 04-14-16
Interesting
Not only did this list help me figure out why my narc keeps coming back to me time and time again, but it is also helping me figure out how to create a smoother life with him going forward.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Parrish Moore
- 10-03-19
Not that convinced based on my experience..
Wasn't convinced based on my experience with my narc for 4 years ago in my life
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- Jennifer
- 12-20-16
the narrator has a easy, pleasant voice
the infrormation in the book was very helpful. most ebooks are hard for me to listen to. but this woman was calming and matter of fact in her delivery. thumbs up.
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