I'm Fine...and Other Lies
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Narrated by:
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Whitney Cummings
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By:
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Whitney Cummings
About this listen
“Whitney Cummings has written a book about being, well, not fine - and what to do when you find yourself with brutal anxiety and a co-dependency disorder; all in her trademark wit, humor, and honesty. This book, however, is fine as hell.” (Sophia Amoruso, author of #Girlboss)
“The funniest cry for help you'll read this year.” (BJ Novak)
Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my audiobook page.... I presume if you’re reading this, it means you either need more encouragement to buy it or we used to date and you’re trying to figure out if you should sue me or not. Here are all the stories and mistakes I’ve made that were way too embarrassing to tell on stage in front of an actual audience; but thanks to not-so-modern technology, you can hear about them here so I don’t have to risk having your judgmental eye contact crush my self-esteem.
This audiobook contains some delicious schadenfreude in which I recall such humiliating debacles as breaking my shoulder while trying to impress a guy, coming very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison, and having my lacerated ear sewn back on by a deaf guy after losing it in a torrid love affair.
In addition to hoarding mortifying situations that’ll make you feel way better about your choices, I’ve also accumulated a lot of knowledge from therapists, psychotherapists, and psychopaths that can probably help you avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made. Think of this audiobook as everything you’d want from the Internet all in one place, except without the constant distractions of ads, online shopping, and porn.
I’m not sure what else to say to say, except that you should buy it if you want to laugh and learn how to stop being crazy. And if we used to date, see you in court.
©2017 Whitney Cummings (P)2017 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
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On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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Listen to this book for sure
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Reese Witherspoon’s grandmother Dorothea always said a combination of beauty and strength made Southern women “whiskey in a teacup”. We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside, we’re strong and fiery. Reese’s Southern heritage informs her whole life, and she loves sharing the joys of Southern living with practically everyone she meets. She takes the South wherever she goes with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken.
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Lighthearted... yet predictable and clichéd
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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
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Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
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Hot sauce is the best!
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
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What listeners say about I'm Fine...and Other Lies
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Paula D.
- 12-11-19
Thought Provoking and Damn Practical
Yes, WC is funny - that’s what you’d expect. But like Jon Oliver mated with Oprah, this woman makes you think while you’re laughing. She might just be our next President. And it’s insanely practical. she just might save you a bunch of money on face cream and doctors visits, save you embarrassment by learning how to be humble and open minded, and save you at least 7 hours a week for the rest of your lives. This preaches to every woman’s inner child. Don’t miss it.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Natalia Goykhman
- 07-17-22
Honest and helpful
First of all, technically speaking, the reading and recording are excellent: engaging like a good conversation with a friend, at a convenient speed.
Now, the content. This is not an easy book, definitely not an easy entertainment for long commutes. However, for me it's one of the most helpful, important books i've ever came across. I wish i've read it in my formative years. The author is very honest and insightful, and shines light on some very important psychological issues that we usually do our best to avoid due to their difficulty. So it's a heavy content, but in the best way possible, as it provokes thought and change.
Looking forward for re-reading (re-listening?) it in a couple of years.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-27-17
Must read!!!
I LOVED IT! I appreciate how honest and real Whitney is. Great read especially for girls and women.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Robert Ames
- 11-10-17
Surprising but so valuable
As many reviewers have said - this is not a very funny book. But it is a very real book. Very open and very vulnerable. Whitney doesn't hold anything back. We could all learn from her experiences. Well worth the time.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Skoenlaper
- 02-26-20
Whitney Cummings has always been a favorite
I've always loved Whitney and this book made me Love her even more. she's of course a great narrator too. it's not just her comedy here is her story too but even more than that she gives the readers some very profound insights from her own experiences.
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- Desiree
- 10-30-18
Just love it!
I love the stories and I love her telling it makes it so much better. I have no words to describe the joy, humor and comfort I got from this book. Just love it!
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- C. Bellisle
- 07-25-18
Wow!
Not what I expected, but so well done! I’m glad I listened to it. Whitney has lived quite the life and has done it well.
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- melanie radcliff
- 08-10-18
Love. Love. Love this book
Warning. .i listened to this one all in one night while my son was sleeping nearby. How he slept thru the giggling and loud snorts of laughter (I was listening in my headphones) I will never know. I needed more stars than five . Five stars is too limiting but life is about boundaries after all. Right Whitney?
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- Jennifer Lamoureux
- 07-30-18
Love, love, love this audio book!
Seriously, this audio book was fantastic! I love Whitney's storytelling. I laughed so many times out loud at work that I had people looking at me funny. I will be listening to this one again, for sure!
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- Nikki
- 12-05-18
Entertaining and Endearing!
I’ve always liked her comedy but I did not know a lot about her until this book. Literally everything she wrote about resonated with me in someway. The most touching was her experience with inner-child work, as I had the same reservations and reactions that she explained. Beyond that, the way she tackles her experiences in a male-dominated field and a superficially obsessed culture made me more feel more confident in my own experiences with both. Also, I laughed my ass off, she’s hilarious!
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