I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Youngmi Mayer
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By:
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Youngmi Mayer
About this listen
From standup comedian Youngmi Mayer, an unforgettable memoir written with “raw, enviable freedom that simply floors you,” interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality in America, navigating a tumultuous childhood in Korea and Saipan, and coming to terms with her parents’ shortcomings (Michelle Zauner).
“Do you know what happens if you laugh while crying? Hair grows out of your butthole.”
It was a constant truism Youngmi Mayer’s mother would say threateningly after she would make her daughter laugh while crying. Her mother used it to cheer her up in moments when she could tell Youngmi was overtaken with grief. The humorous saying would never fail to lighten the mood, causing both daughter and mother to laugh and cry at the same time. Her mother had learned this trick from her mother, and her mother had learned this from her mother before her: it had also helped an endless string of her family laugh through suffering.
In I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, Youngmi jokes through the retelling of her childhood as an offbeat biracial kid in Saipan, a place next to a place that Americans might know. She jokes through her difficult adolescence where she must parent her own parents: a mother who married her husband because he looked like white Jesus (and the singer of The Bee Gees). And with humor and irreverence and full-throated openness, she jokes even while sharing the story of what her family went through during the last century of colonialism and war in Korea, while reflecting how years later, their wounds affect her in New York City as a single mom, all the while interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality.
Youngmi jokes through these stories in hopes of passing onto the listener what her family passed down to her: The gift of laughing while crying. The gift of a hairy butthole. Because throughout it all, the one thing she learned was one cannot exist without the other. And like a yin and yang, this duality is reflected in this whip-smart, heart-wrenching, and disarmingly funny memoir told by a bright new voice with so much heart and wisdom.
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Critic reviews
“Youngmi Mayer’s wit shines as she takes you across a spectrum of emotions, setting you up for heartbreak only to drop-kick you with a laugh. Through an intimate and relatable portrayal of her family’s history, I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying explores all the parts that make us who we are. She’s shown me that there’s a little entitled white guy inside each of us.”—Sohla El-Waylly, New York Times bestselling author of Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a Better Cook
"You should probably get this book just so I don't have to call you up or show up to your house and read to you from it."—Alexander Chee, author of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel
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Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
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I Can't Make This Up
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
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Very Unbecoming
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
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Caledonian Road
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
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American Psycho
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Made in America
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In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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What listeners say about I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Extee
- 11-25-24
Visceral
Went into this knowing zero about the author and was just blown away. Highly recommend.
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- Rena O
- 12-16-24
My favorite book this year
I love how she tells her story in relation to her understanding of the stories of her grandparents, parents, ex husband, and son. She is such a great writer and tells a rich story in few and well written words. I'm about to listen to it a second time because it feels like I'm listening to a friend and it's a comforting feeling
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-13-24
Genuine, funny, heartbreaking and healing
The title says it all. Mayer describes the undescribable and is herself laughing and crying genuinely throughout.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-26-24
Couldn’t put down
Youngmi Mayer is an incredible author and hilarious. Her beautiful and talented storytelling provides the reader insights into what it’s like as a mixed race Korean white woman in Korea and the US. Wish I could read it for the first time again!
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- madisun
- 11-29-24
fun & profound
unique and heartfelt story full of permission to be herself. i learned a lot about Korean culture
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- steppingonlegos
- 11-17-24
Loved everything about this book
The story of her life is so well told with just the right level of self deprecation and without hubris that often annoys me in memoirs. I laughed so much, cried a whole lot, learned a lot, and thought about things in new ways. The author reading her own book was the cherry on top. The way she does other peoples voices made me laugh every time. Even the credits at the end made me laugh. I haven’t finished an audio book so quickly maybe ever?! It was just such a pleasure to look forward to listening to every spare minute I had.
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- Lizzie Booher
- 12-08-24
Could not stop listening to this
I already loved this author from her comedy and her prose blew me away. The way she describes her life hits on so many insights that I could not begin to nail the way she has. Phenomenal!
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- Jennifer Martinelli
- 12-08-24
I knew I would love it and I did
This is a hilarious and heartbreaking memoir and I loved it from beginning to end.
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- Gabe
- 12-04-24
I laughed ...
while I cried. I too have a hairy butt hole now. Thank you Youngmi.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-17-24
Truly full of tears and laughter.
So heart full, I’m at a loss of words. Still crying. Thank you. I’ve been following Youngmi on social media for only about a year and her candor is so captivating. I can’t say more right now because I’m still pretty tearful
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