Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life
The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
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Narrated by:
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Laura Copland
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By:
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Tracy Schorn
About this listen
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity.
When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Full of solid advice that champions self-respect, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more.
Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.
©2016 Tracy Schorn (P)2017 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
- By Kimberley on 02-20-08
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Gratitude and Trust
- Six Affirmations That Will Change Your Life
- By: Paul Williams, Tracey Jackson
- Narrated by: Paul Williams, Tracey Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Paul Williams is an alcoholic. Tracey Jackson is not. But together, these two close friends have written Gratitude and Trust, a book designed to apply the principles of the recovery movement to the countless people who are not addicts but nevertheless need effective help with their difficulties and pain. Williams, the award-winning songwriter, actor, and performer, has embraced a traditional alcoholism recovery plan for more than two decades of sobriety.
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Just what I needed!
- By Cheryl on 02-18-15
By: Paul Williams, and others
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The No Contact Rule
- By: Natalie Lue
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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I can not recomment this book highly enough!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-14-17
By: Natalie Lue
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The New Codependency
- Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Lorna Raver
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. In The New Codependency, she clears up misconceptions, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
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Please offer with different narrator
- By Janie on 11-12-09
By: Melody Beattie
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The Good Fight
- Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully
- By: Jana Kramer, Michael Caussin
- Narrated by: Jana Kramer, Michael Caussin
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage - what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive - with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
- By J Klay on 11-01-20
By: Jana Kramer, and others
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The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
- How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope
- By: Leslie Vernick
- Narrated by: Leslie Vernick
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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You can't put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward.
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I wish this book had been written 10 years ago
- By D. C. Williams on 09-08-14
By: Leslie Vernick
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
- A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
- By: Linda J. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Tamara Marston
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Worthy of Her Trust
- What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
- By: Stephen Arterburn, Jason B. Martinkus
- Narrated by: Tom Parks, Kate Rudd
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it's possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools to help your marriage begin again.
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Best Book on Building Trust
- By Layne & Rylan on 03-05-15
By: Stephen Arterburn, and others
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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Sex With a Cheating Person?! NO!
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Not 'Just Friends'
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Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
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Getting Past the Affair
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Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward.
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Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
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From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
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Victim blaming!! Stay away
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I Love You but I Don’t Trust You
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for betrayed women - not men!
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Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well-being and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and to build new, loving relationships.
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Best of the best with honors.. sir!
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Infidelity
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Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage was written to help couples navigate their way to healing after experiencing the devastating impact of physical and emotional affairs. Listening to this book will allow you the opportunity to process the affair, assess the damage, and make an informed choice about the future of your relationship.
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night time bed story
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An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
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Your husband cheated on you, and now you don't recognize yourself. You used to be so together, so trusting. Now you're falling apart and doing things you would have never even considered doing.
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REALLY good for the Bewildered
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Win Your Breakup
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You picked up this book because your breakup has been reduced to something that you feel you must “win” to emotionally survive and move on. This reduction can only take place if you were involved with a toxic person. Toxic people are selfish, empathetically bankrupt, and have a limited relationship with reality. Anyone who feels validated by exploiting your hunger for theirs is toxic - to your peace, your life, and your mental health.
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It’s like a bad gossip girl episode
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How Can I Forgive You?
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
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In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts the emotional journey of a breakup of a marriage, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life. This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the personal and economic effects of divorce in adults and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to the breakup of all committed relationships.
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Better as an additional book
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After a Good Man Cheats
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This audiobook is a practical action plan that will walk you through the first stages after your wife has discovered your infidelity. Learn the tools to fix your marriage. Avoid the (sometimes fatal) mistakes I've seen so many men make.
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Horrible, but with some helpful information
- By A reader on 10-15-21
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The Journey from Abandonment to Healing
- Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love
- By: Susan Anderson
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The Journey from Abandonment to Healing is designed to help all victims of emotional breakups-whether they are suffering from a recent loss or a lingering wound from the past; whether they are caught up in patterns that sabotage their own relationships or they are in a relationship where they no longer feel loved. From the first stunning blow to starting over, this book provides a complete program for abandonment recovery.
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Amazing Book
- By Dan on 03-16-16
By: Susan Anderson
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After the Affair
- Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
- By: Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Janis Abrahams Spring Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Story
Many times infidelity is the death of a relationship - but an affair doesn't have to mean the end. Realistic ways of coping with pain, restoring self-esteem, and rebuilding trust and intimacy are available for the first time on audio in this guide by Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring. Dr. Spring is one of the few clinical psychologists in the US who specializes in infidelity. She offers original and proven strategies to those seeking guidance, sympathy, and solutions, laying to rest blame and recrimination and focusing instead on recovery.
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OW vs. Lover
- By Sculpturades on 01-27-16
By: Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., and others
What listeners say about Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JDB
- 03-17-18
Must read for someone getting overs cheater
Great book. Very straight forward. Just the thing I needed to kick me in the butt.
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-27-19
WOW! READ THIS BOOK!!
This book was the reality check I needed. It's so real. Like talking to a friend. So many things that I already knew but just needed someone to say it. Thank you! Tuesday will be here before I know it!
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- Kristie Schimmel
- 11-10-18
Awesome
As I would drive by my soon to be ex's appartment I had this Audio book playing in my car.
His new GF ( who he is "just friends" with and helps with his Autistic daughter) AND after I have caught them in bed and her clothes on and his off .... OH but the comforter was in between them and her on top of him,giving him a "NECK " rub with the lights out and MANY more times getting caught, just never both unclothed, That was 2 YEARS ago.
yet im trying to detatch but I also see her old beat up van at his place. JUST AS IM HEARUNG AND LEARNING what a CHUMP IS.
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- becki
- 04-27-20
Chump required reading (listening)
Everything she said cheaters say and do, sounded just like what I’ve heard from my cheater.
Wow.
Wake up, chumps.
It’s our time to rise.
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- Andrea
- 05-28-21
Hurtful but helpful
Someone in my support group recommended this book. It was exactly what I needed. Tracy Schorn doesn’t mince words. The truth hurts: I’ve been a chump. But I don’t have to keep being a chump. If you want to leave a cheater behind and move on with your life, this is the book for you.
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- hibbs
- 12-08-21
chum for to long
this book really spoke volumes to me thank you for sharing. I really appreciate it you gave me a lot of information that I knew already just made sense coming from you.
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- TanyaIdaho
- 08-11-22
No nonsense great advice!
I loved the straight talk. It was as though the author reached into my soul and unapologetically expressed my feelings.
I was left feeling empowered and hopeful.
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- Annamarie Cozzi
- 12-28-22
At first I hated it…
I’m a chump…such a chump that I’ve read so.many.books. Trying to understand how I became a chump, what made my cheating POS choose someone else… I learned about forgiveness and acceptance and reconciliation.. but no one was addressing the obvious: how can I forgive when no one is asking for forgiveness? This book is exactly what I needed. Sometimes we need some tough love and this book is it. It was hard to hear and more than once I hung my head in shame thinking “I did exactly that…what a chump” but it was healing to put a name to my feelings and understand my anger a bit more. I strongly recommend this title for all my fellow chumps… if you’re a cheater though, go ahead and buzz off, you don’t deserve this insight.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-23-23
Pocket pep talk
I am listening for a second time in a row. This is a must listen for anyone dealing with infidelity!
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- Sandy
- 02-01-24
Real talk!!!
Love this book! Even though I’m reading it about 4 years too late it definitely has good solid advice! If you are looking for authentic guidance READ THIS BOOK! you can tell” she’s been there done that “
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