Shame on You
How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Petro
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By:
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Melissa Petro
About this listen
In the spirit of Rebecca Traister's Good and Mad and Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist comes a courageous, in-depth investigation into the modern epidemic of shame in our society—what it is, why women are uniquely susceptible, and how we can shift the shame off our plates and live our best lives in an over-exposed, image-obsessed world.
For millions of women, shame is a vicious predator. It tells us we are less than, that we are unworthy. We try everything to escape shame—ignoring it, intellectualizing it, and even, ironically, shaming ourselves for feeling it. The reality is that women experience shame more frequently and more intensely than men—a direct result, as acclaimed journalist Melissa Petro explains, of a patriarchal culture that “urges women to feel bad about themselves, and then punishes them when they do.” Why can’t we figure out how to break the shame cycle once and for all?
In Shame on You, Petro takes on the issue of women’s shame directly with an unflinching look at the social systems that encourage women to believe we are deeply inadequate. From shame’s beginnings (Maybe she’s born with it? Nope, it’s misogyny.) to its effect on our lives as adults (How the humiliation of “bad women” affects us all.), shame poisons our friendships, romantic relationships, and work lives. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Blending investigative reporting, science, literature, and hundreds of women’s personal stories—including her own shameful account of winding up as an unwitting New York Post cover girl—Petro offers us a new way forward. No matter what you do, she explains, there is no escaping being judged. And yet, the women we can become—sometimes as a consequence of shame, rather than in spite of it—are powerful indeed. And maybe that’s what others are afraid of.
©2024 Melissa Petro (P)2024 Penguin AudioCritic reviews
“Equal parts self-help, memoir and social investigation, Petro’s triumphant debut methodically presents how shame has pervaded almost every aspect of our lives, and offers up ways to free ourselves from it…Petro invites us to get ‘quiet and curious’ in our efforts to flush shame into the light and challenge its control over our lives.”—BookPage (starred review)
"A candid, assured debut that demonstrates the insight, authority, and resiliency that can be wrought from even the most excoriating experiences. Petro is a wise and humane guide who has performed that alchemy and is generous with her findings."—Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism
“Melissa Petro’s work on shame is vital and necessary, and this book will feel like your best friend.”—Jennifer Pastiloff, author of On Being Human and creator of Shame-Loss
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At long last, Mary Beard addresses in one brave book the misogynists and trolls who mercilessly attack and demean women the world over, including, very often, Mary herself. In Women & Power, she traces the origins of this misogyny to its ancient roots, examining the pitfalls of gender and the ways that history has mistreated strong women since time immemorial.
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Short and fabulous
- By André C. on 03-13-20
By: Mary Beard
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Scam Goddess
- Lessons from a Life of Cons, Grifts, and Schemes
- By: Laci Mosley
- Narrated by: Laci Mosley
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In Scam Goddess, Laci recounts how her scammer instincts have guided her throughout her life—from a religious childhood in rural Texas, to a stint as a city bartender at what might have been a drug front, to swindling her way past the gatekeepers of Hollywood—recounting the greatest true-crime scam stories that inspired her along the way. Whether it’s by the beauty industry, capitalism, or the people we date, we’re all getting scammed. In this book, Laci identifies the secrets to flipping the script and coming out ahead.
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Even better than the podcast
- By Magali R. on 12-04-24
By: Laci Mosley
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Snake Oil
- A Novel
- By: Kelsey Rae Dimberg
- Narrated by: Kristen Sieh, Andi Arndt, Renata Friedman
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Rhoda West is Silicon Valley’s favorite female CEO: the luminously charismatic founder of the fast-growing startup Radical, a wellness company whose core mission is the betterment of women’s lives. Rhoda’s Instagram page offers intimate glimpses of her personal life alongside promotions for the cult-status products developed in the Well, Radical’s secretive lab.
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Makes me wish I was in a book club so I could discuss it
- By ferretk4 on 12-21-24
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Misinterpretation
- By: Ledia Xhoga
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In present-day New York City, an Albanian interpreter reluctantly agrees to work with Alfred, a Kosovar torture survivor, during his therapy sessions. Despite her husband’s cautions, she soon becomes entangled in her clients’ struggles: Alfred’s nightmares stir up her own buried memories, and an impulsive attempt to help a Kurdish poet leads to a risky encounter and a reckless plan. As ill-fated decisions stack up, jeopardizing the nameless narrator’s marriage and mental health, she takes a spontaneous trip to reunite with her mother in Albania.
By: Ledia Xhoga
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Over Work
- Transforming the Daily Grind in the Quest for a Better Life
- By: Brigid Schulte
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Following Overwhelmed, Brigid Schulte’s groundbreaking examination of time management and stress, the prizewinning journalist now turns her attention to the greatest culprit in America’s quality-of-life crisis: the way our economy and culture conceive of work. Americans across all demographics, industries, and socioeconomic levels report exhaustion, burnout, and the wish for more meaningful lives. This full-system failure in our structure of work affects everything from gender inequality to domestic stability, and it even shortens our lifespans.
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Well researched
- By Deborah Willis Eaton on 10-30-24
By: Brigid Schulte
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Cult Following
- The Extreme Sects That Capture Our Imaginations—and Take Over Our Lives
- By: J. W. Ocker
- Narrated by: Kimberly M. Wetherell
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In Cult Following, Ocker sheds light on the terrifying attraction of cults, demonstrating the elasticity of belief, the desperateness of belonging, and the tragedy of trust.
By: J. W. Ocker
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A Glitch in the Matrix
- By: Jessica Castro
- Narrated by: Jessica Castro
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Some say there is a world beyond this one, and from time to time, reality parts and we see beyond the veil: strange things happen, we question what is real, and our assumptions about the order of this universe are thrown aside. These are “glitch in the matrix” stories. Host and narrator Auntie Matrix has amassed a following of over 720K followers on TikTok, and over 155K on Instagram. Her spine-tingling, mind-bending, and utterly destabilizing accounts of happenings are too spooky to be coincidence, and too unsettling to be of the world we thought we knew.
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The stories are amazing
- By Mj on 11-04-24
By: Jessica Castro
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Asunder
- By: Kerstin Hall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Appleton
- Length: 19 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Karys Eska is a deathspeaker, locked into an irrevocable compact with Sabaster, a terrifying eldritch being—three-faced, hundred-winged, unforgiving—who has granted her the ability to communicate with the newly departed. She pays the rent by using her abilities to investigate suspicious deaths around the troubled city she calls home. When a job goes sideways and connects her to a dying stranger with some very dangerous secrets, her entire world is upended.
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Asunder
- By G Family on 10-16-24
By: Kerstin Hall
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The Royals Upstairs
- By: Karina Halle
- Narrated by: Alex C. Stewart, Cassandra York
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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James Hunter has made a tactical error. His new role as protection officer to Prince Magnus of Norway was supposed to be an exciting change. Instead he’s marooned on a royal estate in the middle of nowhere charged with chasing after demon children and dodging the machinations of meddling staff. And the crowning jewel in this little drama—the children’s nanny is none other than Laila Bruset. The woman whose heart he broke. The woman who still holds his.
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Very cute Christmas romance!
- By Julie Ann on 11-13-24
By: Karina Halle
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Rage Becomes Her
- The Power of Women's Anger
- By: Soraya Chemaly
- Narrated by: Soraya Chemaly
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for it, and asked if it would kill us to smile. Yes, yes it would. Contrary to the rhetoric of popular “self-help” and an entire lifetime of being told otherwise, our rage is one of the most important resources we have, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression.
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Holy Raging Hell
- By Enid Quimby on 10-17-18
By: Soraya Chemaly
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A Crown of Ivy and Glass
- The Middlemist Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Claire Legrand
- Narrated by: Evelyn Rose
- Length: 21 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Lady Gemma Ashbourne seemingly has it all. She's young, gorgeous, and rich. Her family was Anointed by the gods, blessed with incredible abilities. But underneath her glittering façade, Gemma is deeply sad. Years ago, her sister Mara was taken to the Middlemist to guard against treacherous magic. Her mother abandoned the family. Her father and eldest sister, Farrin—embroiled in a deadly blood feud with the mysterious Bask family—often forget Gemma exists.
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Worth finishing
- By Megan Rhoades on 10-03-23
By: Claire Legrand
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Rejection
- Fiction
- By: Tony Tulathimutte
- Narrated by: Micky Shiloah, Allyson Ryan, Quincy Surasmith, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Sharply observant and outrageously funny, Rejection is a provocative plunge into the touchiest problems of modern life. The seven connected stories seamlessly transition between the personal crises of a complex ensemble and the comic tragedies of sex, relationships, identity, and the internet.
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The utter darkness
- By larux on 10-02-24
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A Sunny Place for Shady People
- Stories
- By: Mariana Enriquez, Megan McDowell
- Narrated by: Lee Osorio, Annette Amelia Oliveira, Sol Madariaga, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to Argentina and the fascinating, frightening, fantastical imagination of Mariana Enriquez. In twelve spellbinding new stories, Enriquez writes about ordinary people, especially women, whose lives turn inside out when they encounter terror, the surreal, and the supernatural. A neighborhood nuisanced by ghosts, a family whose faces melt away, a faded hotel haunted by a girl who dissolved in the water tank on the roof, a riverbank populated by birds that used to be women.
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Random but not scary or intriguing
- By Stephanie S on 10-03-24
By: Mariana Enriquez, and others
What listeners say about Shame on You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-30-24
We lived in a F$$$ up world that penalized women for just existing!
I do recommend this book for anyone who wants to feel seen and heard! I loved every part of it! Thank you for this book!
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