Strangers to Ourselves
Unsettled Minds and the Stories That Make Us
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Narrated by:
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Andi Arndt
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By:
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Rachel Aviv
About this listen
2022 The New York Times 10 Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 New York Times Book Review Notable Books of the Yea, Long-listed
2022 Vogue Magazine Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Kirkus Reviews Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Los Angeles Times Holiday Books Guide, Long-listed
2023 National Book Critics Circle Award - Nominee, Short-listed
2022 Wall Street Journal Best Books of the Yea, Long-listed
2022 BookPage Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 New Yorker Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Time Magazine Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Washington Post Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
The highly anticipated debut from the acclaimed, award-winning New Yorker writer Rachel Aviv compels us to examine how the stories we tell about mental illness shape our sense of who we are.
In Strangers to Ourselves, a powerful and gripping debut, Rachel Aviv raises fundamental questions about how we understand ourselves in periods of crisis and distress. Drawing on deep, original reporting as well as unpublished journals and memoirs, Aviv writes about people who have come up against the limits of psychiatric explanations for who they are. She follows an Indian woman, celebrated as a saint, who lives in healing temples in Kerala; an incarcerated mother vying for her children’s forgiveness after recovering from psychosis; a man who devotes his life to seeking revenge upon his psychoanalysts; and an affluent young woman who, after a decade of defining herself through her diagnosis, decides to go off her meds because she doesn’t know who she is without them. Animated by a profound sense of empathy, Aviv’s exploration is refracted through her own account of living in a hospital ward at the age of six and meeting a fellow patient with whom her life runs parallel—until it no longer does.
Aviv asks how the stories we tell about mental disorders shape their course in our lives. Challenging the way we understand and talk about illness, her account is a testament to the porousness and resilience of the mind.
A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux
©2022 Rachel Aviv (P)2022 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Buy this book! and READ it
- By joyce on 08-15-13
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Changing the Way We Die
- Compassionate End-of-Life Care and the Hospice Movement
- By: Sheila Himmel, Fran Smith
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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There’s a quiet revolution happening in the way we die. More than 1.5 million Americans a year die in hospice care - nearly 44 percent of all deaths - and a vast industry has sprung up to meet the growing demand. Once viewed as a New Age indulgence, hospice is now a $14 billion business and one of the most successful segments in health care. Changing the Way We Die, by award-winning journalists Fran Smith and Sheila Himmel, is the first book to take a broad, penetrating look at the hospice landscape.
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Sadly, not very engaging.
- By Debra S. Long on 06-16-18
By: Sheila Himmel, and others
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Brotherhood
- Dharma, Destiny, and the American Dream
- By: Sanjiv Chopra, Deepak Chopra
- Narrated by: Deepak Chopra, Sanjiv Chopra
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The Chopra brothers were among the most eager and ambitious of the new generation. In the 1970s, they each emigrated to the United States to make a new life. Both faced tough obstacles: while Deepak encountered resistance from Western-trained doctors over what he called the mind-body connection, Sanjiv struggled to reconcile the beliefs of his birthplace with those of his new home. Eventually, each brother became convinced that America was the right place to build a life, and the Chopras went on to great achievements.
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How to Toot Your Horn
- By Kenneth on 07-01-13
By: Sanjiv Chopra, and others
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Truth Doesn't Have a Side
- My Alarming Discovery About the Danger of Contact Sports
- By: Dr. Bennet Omalu, Mark Tabb, Will Smith - foreword
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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One day in 2002 the 50-year old body of former Pittsburgh Steeler and hall of famer Mike Webster was laid on a cold table in front of pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu. Webster's body looked to Omalu like the body of a much older man, and the circumstances of his behavior prior to his death were clouded in mystery. But when Omalu cut into Webster's brain, it appeared to be normal. Something didn't add up.
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Truly Enlightening
- By Marie on 01-31-20
By: Dr. Bennet Omalu, and others
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The Good Death
- An Exploration of Dying in America
- By: Ann Neumann
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Following the death of her father, journalist and hospice volunteer Ann Neumann sets out to examine what it means to die well in the United States. When Ann Neumann's father was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, she left her job and moved back to her hometown of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. She became his full-time caregiver - cooking, cleaning, and administering medications. When her father died, she was undone by the experience, by grief and the visceral quality of dying.
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Ugh, so boring
- By Maranto on 05-13-19
By: Ann Neumann
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The Harvard Psychedelic Club
- How Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Huston Smith, and Andrew Weil Killed the Fifties and Ushered in a New Age for America
- By: Don Lattin
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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It is impossible to overstate the cultural significance of the four men described in Don Lattin's The Harvard Psychedelic Club. Huston Smith, tirelessly working to promote cross-cultural religious and spiritual tolerance. Richard Alpert, aka Ram Dass, inspiring generations with his mantra "be here now". Andrew Weil, undisputed leader of the holistic medicine revolution. And, of course, Timothy Leary, the charismatic, rebellious counterculture icon and LSD guru.
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A Fascinating, Engaging Story, Expertly Told
- By Gillian Culff on 12-12-19
By: Don Lattin
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The Lives They Left Behind
- Suitcases from a State Hospital Attic
- By: Peter Stastny, Darby Penney
- Narrated by: Alex Paul
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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More than four hundred abandoned suitcases filled with patients’ belongings were found when Willard Psychiatric Center closed in 1995 after 125 years of operation. They are skillfully examined here and compared to the written record to create a moving—and devastating—group portrait of twentieth-century American psychiatric care.
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Not really the book I expected
- By B. Shaff on 11-09-17
By: Peter Stastny, and others
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The Inheritance
- A Family on the Front Lines of the Battle Against Alzheimer's Disease
- By: Niki Kapsambelis
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Every 69 seconds, someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Of the top 10 killers, it is the only disease for which there is no cure or treatment. For most people, there is nothing that they can do to fight back. But one family is doing all they can. The DeMoe family has the most devastating form of the disease that there is: early onset Alzheimer's, an inherited genetic mutation that causes the disease in 100 percent of cases, and has a 50 percent chance of being passed onto the next generation.
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A Cover-to-Cover Slug in the Gut, but Inspiring
- By Gillian on 04-16-17
By: Niki Kapsambelis
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Oddly Normal
- One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality
- By: John Schwartz
- Narrated by: John Schwartz, Joseph Schwartz
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, John Schwartz, a national correspondent for the New York Times, got the call that every parent hopes never to receive: His 13-year-old son, Joe, was in the hospital following a suicide attempt. Mustering the courage to come out to his classmates, Joe had delivered a tirade about homophobic and sexist attitudes that was greeted with unease and confusion by his fellow students. Hours later, he took an overdose of pills.
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The Effect of Parental Caring
- By Wiliam on 01-16-13
By: John Schwartz
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Identical Strangers
- A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
- By: Elyse Schein, Paula Bernstein
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo, Effie Johnson
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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This is the astonishing true story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, who shared a personal history for more than three decades - and didn't know it. In her mid-30s, Schein finally decided to call an adoption agency to learn about her biological mother. Not expecting much, she instead got the surprise of her life. Her identical twin sister, Bernstein, lived just minutes away.
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What if you are a twin and don't know it?
- By Joanne on 07-15-08
By: Elyse Schein, and others
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Marrow
- A Love Story
- By: Elizabeth Lesser
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Lesser, Sally Field
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to yourself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones you love. But when her sister, Maggie, needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love.
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“ Love came first “
- By marie on 03-26-18
By: Elizabeth Lesser
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- By: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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90% Useless Information
- By Think B4 Eating on 10-01-10
By: Gary Small M.D., and others
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This book is awful.
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The Yellow House
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In 1961, Sarah M. Broom’s mother Ivory Mae bought a shotgun house in the then-promising neighborhood of New Orleans East and built her world inside of it. It was the height of the Space Race and the neighborhood was home to a major NASA plant - the postwar optimism seemed assured. A book of great ambition, Sarah M. Broom’s The Yellow House tells a hundred years of her family and their relationship to home in a neglected area of one of America’s most mythologized cities.
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Great book. I wish the pictures had been included.
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Under the Skin
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From an award-winning writer at the New York Times Magazine and a contributor to the 1619 Project comes a landmark book that tells the full story of racial health disparities in America, revealing the toll racism takes on individuals and the health of our nation.
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Personal stories
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What listeners say about Strangers to Ourselves
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Jenny Jenkins
- 01-15-23
Just Falls Short ...
What works when dealing with mental illness? What is mental illness? How do we view our own emotional and mental states?
The answers to these questions shift depending on the individual, the culture a person comes from and the prevailing understanding of illness and treatment at the time. Rachel Aviv's book explores the tangle of diagnosis and treatment, individual response to family and culture, and the difficulty separating these powerful forces. She writes movingly about four people whose mental illness can be linked to their role in their own society, their feelings of alienation and isolation from the prevailing culture, their struggle to understand themselves and the struggles of their family, friends and doctors to understand and heal them.
But how are these stories linked? What do they have in common? Aviv demurs from pulling these strands together explicitly.
Even if she is not in a position to make a Grand Statement about mental illness, culture and narrative, I wish Aviv had made some more explicit attempt in that direction. Aviv is powerfully descriptive but she shies away from the outright analytic. Is she afraid to do so lest she find her own argument outmoded or viewed as benighted in the future? Even if Aviv's conclusion is that mental illness is too complex, too personal, too culturally explicit for a grand theory ever to work, I would like to hear it!
The reader was very good, but I wish the production had permitted more of a silent break between chapters. Jarring to end one narrative about a person whose life was destroyed by mental illness and misguided treatment and launch right into the next. Radio silence is not an evil - at least not for a whole 5 or 10 seconds!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Db
- 11-30-22
Good read
Provocative Loved the first few chapters. The end was not as compelling as the beginning
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-22-23
Shines a Refreshing Light
I find this book shined a refreshing light on psychological traumas and how we throw medicine at it rather than stopping to listen and respect the person who is suffering from it.
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- Sally F.
- 06-08-23
Very powerful
I loved this book! What a wonderful writer, and excellent narrator. If you're interested in mental health, these very perceptive and fascinating case histories will move you and make you think.
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- Piper
- 08-13-23
Powerful look at mental health
Great collection of experiences to explore the history and complexity of mental health and society.
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- Sarah Reid
- 09-30-22
How narrative changes our mental health outcomes
Anyone that’s ever discussed the issue of stigma in mental health will appreciate this book. It goes beyond that though.
By recounting a handful of illustrative individual stories, the author shines light on how the personal, cultural, and medical frames we use to explain our mental health struggles contribute to our outcomes in both positive and negative ways.
This book’s central thesis is hard to define, but it continually gave me reason to reflect on the explanatory power of mental health in my life.
It’s well worth reading.
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- Jennifer G
- 12-05-22
Haunting
The focus on the aspect of context and circumstances that impact mental illness, it’s influence on people’s life trajectory and the socioeconomic factor is fascinating and chilling. There but for the grace….a great read, I listened to it in a day.
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- Ginger F
- 09-25-23
Incisive and painful. But well done.
I just wanted more. Each section was touching and wrenching but I still was left wanting more. A really personal dive into the different facets of mental health and how we change our psyche during stress and trauma.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-30-22
Revelatory Journalism about the history of mental illness
Rachel Aviv has written an important account of the manifestation and treatment of mental illness through history, up to present day. Through her chosen subjects, Aviv illuminates how our environment, our access to mental health care, and even our individual diagnosis’ can contribute to what is essentially disordered thinking and subsequent behaviors. It is often our oppressive environments that not only cause, but exacerbate mental health issues.
In her story about Naomi I was struck by the part when she was in solitary confinement and began speaking a “different language.” Only a therapist who had known Naomi could understand her ramblings and in that simple act of listening and affirming, Naomi was able to find her way back from that psychosis.
This strikes me as one of the cohesive themes of mental illness and of Aviv’s subjects; people just wanted to be understood. They did not want to be pathologized, or medicated, or punished into assimilating. People just want to be understood and validated and loved, We all need someone to listen and learn our language of pain, and then affirm us. It is essential to the recovery process from any source of mental and emotional pain, imo.
This was a fantastic book. I would recommend it to anyone who has ever suffered from disordered thinking, or loves someone who has suffered from disordered thinking.
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- Nancy Tice
- 02-01-23
Important book
This book is full of important mental health stories
And is worth reading or listening too
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