The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
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Narrated by:
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Elaine Stritch
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By:
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Barbara Robinson
About this listen
The Herdmans are the worst kids in the history of the world. They lie, steal, smoke cigars, swear, and hit little kids. So no one is prepared when this outlaw family invades church one Sunday and decides to take over the annual Christmas pageant.
None of the Herdmans has ever heard the Christmas story before. Their interpretation of the tale (the Wise Men are a bunch of dirty spies and Herod needs a good beating) has a lot of people up in arms. But it will make this year's pageant the most unusual anyone has seen and, just possibly, the best one ever.
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When you're a pinball, life is a risky game, especially for three adolescent children placed in a foster home. Their hard-won defenses are firmly in place as these three uneasy strangers meet their foster parents. For each of these children who were failed by their families, caring for others is so scary it hurts. No one has been in control. But as their daily lives become dotted with fried chicken dinners, puppies, and birthdays, they begin to hope that even pinballs can be winners.
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no ending
- By Kaye on 10-14-19
By: Betsy Byars
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The Sweet By and By
- A Novel
- By: Todd Johnson
- Narrated by: Becky Ann Baker, Adriane Lenox, Robin Miles, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
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Among the longleaf pines and family farms of eastern North Carolina, days seem to pass without incident for Margaret Clayton and Bernice Stokes until they discover each other in a friendship that will take them on the most important journey of their lives. Margaret, droll and whip smart, has a will of iron that never fails her even when her body does, while Bernice, an avid country-music fan, is rarely lucid.
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Great 2/3 of a book.
- By Tracy on 07-09-12
By: Todd Johnson
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Locomotion
- By: Jacqueline Woodson
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 1 hr and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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When Lonnie Collins Motion was seven years old, his life changed forever. Now Lonnie is eleven and his life is about to change again. His teacher, Ms. Marcus, is showing him ways to put his jumbled feelings on paper. And suddenly, Lonnie has a whole new way to tell the world about his life, his friends, his little sister, Lili, and even his foster mom, Miss Edna, who started out crabby but isn’t so bad after all. Award-winning author Jacqueline Woodson’s lyrical voice captures Lonnie’s thoughtful perspectives of the world and his determination to one day put a family together again.
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The whole story
- By A Shaffer on 05-26-20
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The Swamp Robber
- Sugar Creek Gang, Book 1
- By: Paul Hutchens
- Narrated by: Aimee Lilly
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
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The Sugar Creek Gang discovers a "disguise" hidden in a old tree. Does it belong to the bank robber hiding in the swamp? A mysterious map hidden near the tree proves to be even more exciting than the disguise. Before the adventure ends, the gang encounters the robber, helps Bill Collins welcome a new baby sister, and saves the victim of a black widow spider bite. Join the gang as they learn the lesson of sowing and reaping.
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Love47
- By Amazon Customer on 07-18-20
By: Paul Hutchens
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The Same Stuff as Stars
- By: Katherine Paterson
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
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Katherine Paterson, author of Newbery Medal winners Bridge to Terabithia and Jacob Have I Loved, again displays her storytelling talent in this powerful novel. Eleven-year-old Angel must play the adult when she and her brother are abandoned at their great-grandmother’s house and the old lady proves incapable of caring for them. An emotional tale, this drama teaches the age-old lesson that every person can stand tall when the world lets them down.
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Enchanting
- By BusyMom on 04-02-17
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Boy, Snow, Bird
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett, Carra Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In the winter of 1953, Boy Novak arrives by chance in a small town in Massachusetts, looking, she believes, for beauty - the opposite of the life she' s left behind in New York. She marries a local widower and becomes stepmother to his winsome daughter, Snow Whitman. A wicked stepmother is a creature Boy never imagined she' d become, but elements of the familiar tale of aesthetic obsession begin to play themselves out when the birth of Boy' s daughter, Bird, who is dark-skinned, exposes the Whitmans as light-skinned African Americans passing for white.
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For Literary Lovers
- By M. Shipe on 04-25-14
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen
- By: Susan Gregg Gilmore
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In the latest novel from Susan Gregg Gilmore, sometimes you have to return to the place where you began to arrive at the place where you belong.
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Not what I expected but........
- By Coach "J" on 03-11-16
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The Homeplace
- Singing River, Book 1
- By: Gilbert Morris
- Narrated by: Judith West
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
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As the year 1928 begins, 14-year-old Lanie Belle Freeman of Fairhope, Arkansas, has bright hopes for the future. Her father has launched a new business, and her mother is expecting her fifth baby. Lanie has dreams of going to college and being a writer. Then tragedy strikes.
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Slow to start. But hang in there. It’s worth it
- By paula wright on 02-24-19
By: Gilbert Morris
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The Wednesday Wars
- By: Gary D. Schmidt
- Narrated by: Joel Johnstone
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
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Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesn’t like Holling - he’s sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class? But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam.
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A Happy Book
- By David Tousey on 11-01-20
By: Gary D. Schmidt
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The Boxcar Children: Henry, Jessie, Violet, and Benny are orphans. Can they find a home where they can stay together as a family? Surprise Island: The Aldens spend the summer on their own private island. There they meet a new friend with an amazing secret! The Yellow House Mystery: Years ago, a man vanished from the yellow house on Surprise Island. Why? The Aldens have found a clue to the mystery!
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takes me back to my youth
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What listeners say about The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Diona
- 11-13-18
Short, sweet & light
If you're needing a short & sweet book this is it. Great for the Christmas season!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kdyer
- 11-01-23
Loved the narration of this story
Loved the narration of this story. I’ve read this story many times since I first heard it in school as a child and it just seems to come alive with this narrator.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-07-22
Funny
My daughter thought it was funny. She loved the whole book. Her favorite part was when the Herdmans brought the cat to school.
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- SBC
- 04-29-23
Love all 3
Love all 3 of these and wish there were more! Narrator is fantastic and just right.
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- Lindsay Horvath
- 04-25-24
😂😂😂
It was so funny!!! The narrator does a good job but the audio wasn’t super clear. TYSM!!!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Overall
- Susan
- 12-21-10
Awesome read for a classroom!!!
A must for any class!!! This book is a great way to study characterization and differing cultures around Christmastime. The Herdmans are so terrible, they are lovable. I agree that the recording is a little fuzzy at times, but if you are following along with a book, it is quite easy to understand. Overall a great buy! Happy listening!!!
P.S. This is NOT an abridged version; it is complete in its entirety.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Best of the Best
- 05-27-16
Funny and safe for kids👍
Funny, sweet, and genius this book is all of those things and much more😜 safe for kids but great for adults to oh and lots of laughs 🤑👊🏼💕😍
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- Dawn Smith
- 12-08-22
Narrator gets a bad wrap, but we love it.
This book has been a classic since my childhood. I bought the audiobook so I could listen with my kids during our morning commute. The story is still poignant, thoughtful, and hilarious. The narrator really evokes the spirit of the characters and we actually loved her somewhat gravely voice. Give it a chance, despite the other bad reviews and you may also enjoy this timeless story.
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- Stephanie
- 11-23-24
Sweet & Funny
This story is my new favorite Christmas story and allows the reader to experience what it might be like to hear the story for the first time. I saw the movie first but really love both the book and movie. Both were sweet and funny!
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Overall
- Pamfaulkmd
- 03-26-11
I love this story!
I love this story and I never tired of hearing it around the Christmas holidays. It is funny, touching, and exceptionally well-written. The narration is excellent.
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7 people found this helpful