
The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse
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Narrated by:
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Dan Starkey
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Daphne Kouma
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By:
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Tom Holt
About this listen
Tom Holt’s brilliantly funny new novel set in the world of The Portable Door (now a delightful movie starring Patrick Gibson, Sophie Wilde, and Christoph Waltz).
The team of commercial sorcerers at Dawson, Ahriman & Dawson can help with any metaphysical engineering project, large or small (though by definition they all tend to be pretty large).
They can also create massive great puddles of chaos that might one day swallow up the entire universe.
Take, for example, the decision to recruit a certain bearded fellow whose previous work experience mainly involves reindeer and jingle bells. It might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but is he really the best person to save the world from Tiamat the Destroyer, who has literally gone ballistic?
For more from Tom Holt, check out:
An Orc on the Wild Side
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
The Good, The Bad, and the Smug
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
When It's a Jar
Doughnut
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages
Blonde Bombshell
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Story
In Victorian London, where traveling sideshows are the very pinnacle of entertainment, there is no more coveted ticket than Ashe and Pretorius' Carnivale of Curiosities. Each performance is a limited engagement, and London's elite boldly dare the dangerous streets of Southwark to witness the Carnivale's astounding assemblage of marvels. For a select few, however, the real show begins behind the curtain. Rumors abound that the show’s proprietor, Aurelius Ashe, is more than an average magician. It's said that for the right price, he can make any wish come true.
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Amazing Characters & a Carnival!
- By Glen Elliott on 08-14-24
By: Amiee Gibbs
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Wreckage
- By: J.D. Pratt, Andrew Wolfendon
- Narrated by: M. P. MacDougall
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I’m a second-rate artist living a solitary existence in my late parents’ rundown house. So why would a team of killers want to murder me and frame it as a suicide? Seems a fact worth knowing. I survive the ordeal only to discover my would-be executioners left behind a suicide note written in words that sound uncannily like mine. But that’s not the most disturbing part. The note reveals a secret from my past nobody could possibly know about—one that’s been haunting my life for eighteen years.
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Good story,
- By May H. Buchanan on 04-10-25
By: J.D. Pratt, and others
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The Ghosts of Beatrice Bird
- By: Louisa Morgan
- Narrated by: Lily Emil Lammers
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Beatrice Bird is plagued by ghosts. It’s a gift she’s had since she was a small child. Unfortunately, it’s a gift that has grown more intense, shifting from flashes and feelings to physical manifestations she can’t escape. In a desperate attempt for relief, Beatrice flees her home, her partner, and a psychology practice in San Francisco for a remote island with only nuns and a few cows for company. She sees as few people as she possibly can. She doesn’t call home. Then she meets Anne Iredale, a timid woman who has lost everything that matters to her.
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Louisa Morgan delivers another gem!
- By Angie L. Prindle on 09-10-24
By: Louisa Morgan
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Kaiju City Omnibus, Books 1-3
- By: Adam Sampson
- Narrated by: Exo Lio
- Length: 42 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The last time Matteo tried out for the Rangers, he lost an arm. In a world plagued by monstrous threats, Matteo is granted a second chance to join the elite Rangers—the monster hunters protecting the city atop a giant turtle. With the promise of wielding a powerful magical artifact, he vows to excel in boot camp and make this opportunity count. Yet, as he endures the grueling trials of the Ranger training, a dark revelation surfaces: their ranks are thinning at an alarming rate.
By: Adam Sampson
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Day Zero
- A Novel
- By: C. Robert Cargill
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It was a day like any other. Except it was our last.... It’s on this day that Pounce discovers that he is, in fact, disposable. Pounce, a styilsh "nannybot" fashioned in the shape of a plush anthropomorphic tiger, has just found a box in the attic. His box. The box he'd arrived in when he was purchased years earlier, and the box in which he'll be discarded when his human charge, eight-year-old Ezra Reinhart, no longer needs a nanny. As Pounce ponders his suddenly uncertain future, the pieces are falling into place for a robot revolution that will eradicate humankind.
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Calvin and AI Hobbs
- By Michael G Kurilla on 06-13-21
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The Characters of Creation
- The Men, Women, Creatures, and Serpent Present at the Beginning of the World
- By: Daniel Darling
- Narrated by: Tim Mullins
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Most Christians are familiar with the opening words of Genesis: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” But push beyond those iconic words, and sometimes the details get a little hazy. And strange. God walked around in a garden? Eve was made from Adam’s rib? A talking serpent? And what the in the world were the “Nephilim”? In The Characters of Creation, Daniel Darling re-introduces listeners to the story they thought they knew.
By: Daniel Darling
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The Carnivale of Curiosities
- By: Amiee Gibbs
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Victorian London, where traveling sideshows are the very pinnacle of entertainment, there is no more coveted ticket than Ashe and Pretorius' Carnivale of Curiosities. Each performance is a limited engagement, and London's elite boldly dare the dangerous streets of Southwark to witness the Carnivale's astounding assemblage of marvels. For a select few, however, the real show begins behind the curtain. Rumors abound that the show’s proprietor, Aurelius Ashe, is more than an average magician. It's said that for the right price, he can make any wish come true.
-
-
Amazing Characters & a Carnival!
- By Glen Elliott on 08-14-24
By: Amiee Gibbs
-
Wreckage
- By: J.D. Pratt, Andrew Wolfendon
- Narrated by: M. P. MacDougall
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I’m a second-rate artist living a solitary existence in my late parents’ rundown house. So why would a team of killers want to murder me and frame it as a suicide? Seems a fact worth knowing. I survive the ordeal only to discover my would-be executioners left behind a suicide note written in words that sound uncannily like mine. But that’s not the most disturbing part. The note reveals a secret from my past nobody could possibly know about—one that’s been haunting my life for eighteen years.
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Good story,
- By May H. Buchanan on 04-10-25
By: J.D. Pratt, and others
-
The Ghosts of Beatrice Bird
- By: Louisa Morgan
- Narrated by: Lily Emil Lammers
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Beatrice Bird is plagued by ghosts. It’s a gift she’s had since she was a small child. Unfortunately, it’s a gift that has grown more intense, shifting from flashes and feelings to physical manifestations she can’t escape. In a desperate attempt for relief, Beatrice flees her home, her partner, and a psychology practice in San Francisco for a remote island with only nuns and a few cows for company. She sees as few people as she possibly can. She doesn’t call home. Then she meets Anne Iredale, a timid woman who has lost everything that matters to her.
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Louisa Morgan delivers another gem!
- By Angie L. Prindle on 09-10-24
By: Louisa Morgan
-
Kaiju City Omnibus, Books 1-3
- By: Adam Sampson
- Narrated by: Exo Lio
- Length: 42 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The last time Matteo tried out for the Rangers, he lost an arm. In a world plagued by monstrous threats, Matteo is granted a second chance to join the elite Rangers—the monster hunters protecting the city atop a giant turtle. With the promise of wielding a powerful magical artifact, he vows to excel in boot camp and make this opportunity count. Yet, as he endures the grueling trials of the Ranger training, a dark revelation surfaces: their ranks are thinning at an alarming rate.
By: Adam Sampson
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Day Zero
- A Novel
- By: C. Robert Cargill
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was a day like any other. Except it was our last.... It’s on this day that Pounce discovers that he is, in fact, disposable. Pounce, a styilsh "nannybot" fashioned in the shape of a plush anthropomorphic tiger, has just found a box in the attic. His box. The box he'd arrived in when he was purchased years earlier, and the box in which he'll be discarded when his human charge, eight-year-old Ezra Reinhart, no longer needs a nanny. As Pounce ponders his suddenly uncertain future, the pieces are falling into place for a robot revolution that will eradicate humankind.
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Calvin and AI Hobbs
- By Michael G Kurilla on 06-13-21
-
The Characters of Creation
- The Men, Women, Creatures, and Serpent Present at the Beginning of the World
- By: Daniel Darling
- Narrated by: Tim Mullins
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Most Christians are familiar with the opening words of Genesis: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” But push beyond those iconic words, and sometimes the details get a little hazy. And strange. God walked around in a garden? Eve was made from Adam’s rib? A talking serpent? And what the in the world were the “Nephilim”? In The Characters of Creation, Daniel Darling re-introduces listeners to the story they thought they knew.
By: Daniel Darling
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A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians
- A Novel
- By: H. G. Parry
- Narrated by: Andrew Kingston
- Length: 20 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It is the Age of Enlightenment - of new and magical political movements, from the necromancer Robespierre calling for revolution in France, to the weather mage Toussaint L'Ouverture leading the slaves of Haiti in their fight for freedom, to the bold new Prime Minister William Pitt weighing the legalization of magic among commoners in Britain and abolition throughout its colonies overseas. But amid all of the upheaval of the early modern world, there is an unknown force inciting all of human civilization into violent conflict.
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Could have been better
- By E. Thiessen on 08-12-21
By: H. G. Parry
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In the Garden of Monsters
- By: Crystal King
- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Julia Lombardi is a mystery even to herself. The beautiful model can’t remember where she’s from, where she’s been or how she came to live in Rome. When she receives an offer to accompany celebrated eccentric artist Salvador Dalí to the Sacro Bosco—Italy’s Garden of Monsters—as his muse, she’s strangely compelled to accept. It could be a chance to unlock the truth about her past…
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Amazing story, well voiced
- By Lara Beth on 11-20-24
By: Crystal King
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The Monster Mash-Up
- A Charlie Rhodes Cozy Mystery, Books 1-3
- By: Amanda M. Lee
- Narrated by: Emily Lawrence
- Length: 26 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
This three-book omnibus includes the first three books in the Charlie Rhodes Cozy Mystery series. Included are: The Bigfoot Blunder, The Chupacabra Catastrophe and The Werewolf Whoops. Sit back and enjoy the ride. The laughter and tears will stick with you long after the story ends.
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Meh
- By Elbee on 08-30-21
By: Amanda M. Lee
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This Isn't Happening
- Radiohead's "Kid A" and the Beginning of the 21st Century
- By: Steven Hyden
- Narrated by: Angelo Di Loreto
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1999, as the end of an old century loomed, five musicians entered a recording studio in Paris without a deadline. Their band was widely recognized as the best and most forward-thinking in rock, a rarefied status granting them the time, money, and space to make a masterpiece. But Radiohead didn't want to make another rock record. Instead, they set out to create the future.
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Amazing read but…
- By Alexis Feldman on 06-01-21
By: Steven Hyden
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A Whole New World
- A Twisted Tale
- By: Liz Braswell, Disney Press
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Jafar steals the genie's lamp, he uses his first two wishes to become sultan and the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Agrabah lives in fear, waiting for his third and final wish. To stop the power-mad ruler, Aladdin and the deposed Princess Jasmine must unite the people of Agrabah in rebellion. But soon their fight for freedom threatens to tear the kingdom apart in a costly civil war. What happens next? A "street rat" becomes a leader. A princess becomes a revolutionary. And listeners will never look at the story of Aladdin in the same way again.
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Loved this!!!
- By Catherine E on 08-04-16
By: Liz Braswell, and others
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Ashes of the Sun
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 21 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Gyre hasn't seen his beloved sister since their parents sold her to the mysterious Twilight Order. Now, 12 years after her disappearance, Gyre's sole focus is revenge, and he's willing to risk anything and anyone to claim enough power to destroy the Order. Chasing rumors of a fabled city protecting a powerful artifact, Gyre comes face-to-face with his lost sister. But she isn't who she once was.
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Ignore the few narrator complaints. She Rocks
- By Mark Hancock on 02-10-22
By: Django Wexler
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Snowstorm in August
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla, Michael Manuel
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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They call him el Carnicero—the Butcher. He is the most powerful drug lord on the planet, and when the city of New York incurs his wrath, he utters a single word: “¡Venganza!” With military precision, he strafes Central Park with 4,000 pounds of cocaine, killing hundreds of innocent people enjoying a summer afternoon.
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Another fantastic story!
- By Kindle Customer on 06-08-22
By: Marshall Karp
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The System Apocalypse Relentless Books 1-3
- An Apocalyptic LitRPG (System Apocalypse - Relentless)
- By: Tao Wong, Craig Hamilton
- Narrated by: Shamaan Casey
- Length: 46 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Hal Mason's still going to find surviving the System Apocalypse challenging. While bringing in his latest fugitive, Hal's payday is interrupted by the translucent blue boxes that herald Earth's introduction to the System - a galaxy spanning wave of structured mystical energy that destroys all electronics and bestows game-like abilities upon mankind. With society breaking down and mutating wildlife rampaging through the city of Pittsburgh, those who remain will sacrifice anything for a chance at earning their next Level.
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Bringing Infrastructure to a new Earth
- By Ed Pegg Jr on 04-10-25
By: Tao Wong, and others
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The Dungeon That Walks Like a Man
- A LitRPG Yagacore Adventure (Mimic Dungeon, Book 1)
- By: Alex Raizman
- Narrated by: Sierra Kline
- Length: 15 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Zaria was just a normal woman, living a simple life—until demons burst through her door and ate her heart. Reborn from tragedy, Zaria rises from the ashes as a Core, but with a twist. A rare mutation has turned her into a Mutant Core, destined to explode unless she forms a bond with a human witch to become a Striga. Her mutation? Legs. With the power of a full dungeon compressed into a walking house that is her body, Zaria sets out on a journey to find her Striga and avoid detonation. Along the way, she battles demons, builds her dungeon, and feeds her mimic mobs.
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I just wanted to read a dungeon core book.
- By Guy on 12-14-23
By: Alex Raizman
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The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy
- By: Megan Bannen
- Narrated by: Michael Gallagher, Rachanee Lumayno
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Hart is a marshal, tasked with patrolling the strange and magical wilds of Tanria. It’s an unforgiving job, and Hart’s got nothing but time to ponder his loneliness. Mercy never has a moment to herself. She’s been single-handedly keeping Birdsall & Son Undertakers afloat in defiance of sullen jerks like Hart, who seems to have a gift for showing up right when her patience is thinnest. After yet another exasperating run-in with Mercy, Hart finds himself penning a letter addressed simply to “A Friend”.
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Great cozy romantic fantasy!
- By Kel on 08-25-22
By: Megan Bannen
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The Ballad of Perilous Graves
- By: Alex Jennings
- Narrated by: Gralen Bryant Banks
- Length: 17 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Nola is a city full of wonders. A place of sky trolleys and dead cabs, where haints dance the night away and Wise Women help keep the order. To those from Away, Nola might seem strange. To Perilous Graves, it’s simply home. Perry knows Nola’s rhythm as intimately as his own heartbeat. So when the city’s Great Magician starts appearing in odd places and essential songs are forgotten, Perry knows trouble is afoot.
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It’s been a long time since I was this happy to be confused!
- By icarryyouwithme on 07-01-22
By: Alex Jennings
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Never Met a Duke Like You
- By: Amalie Howard
- Narrated by: Mary Jane Wells
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Lady Vesper Lyndhurst is beautiful, clever, and popular. Afforded every luxury as a duke’s daughter, she fills her days with friends, intrigues, and a self-professed knack for matchmaking. She may have sworn off love for herself, but she is rather excellent at arranging it. Faced with an insolvent estate, the Duke of Greydon has no choice but to return to England in a final attempt to revive his family’s fortunes. He’s been gone for years, happy to have escaped his mother and the petty circles of the ton. To his dismay, not much has changed, including the beautiful heiress next door.
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So much delicious banter!
- By mya on 11-29-23
By: Amalie Howard
What listeners say about The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Ijw
- 12-27-23
gods and lawyers
where do you go when you want to hire a new God. who will conduct the interviews? Another different and unique take on offices politics.
unfortunately the audio quality is not good if you're listening on earbuds. hopefully they will correct it.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Georgia Shopper
- 12-18-23
Painful. narration
OK, so at least Ray Sawyer (the guy who usually narrates Tom Holt books and speaks so slowly I have to kick him up to 1.5x) didn't do this one. Dan Starkey did a passable job, though he did emphasize some words oddly and change the meaning of some sentences. Daphne Kouma has a VERY annoying way of adding a "k" sound to the ends of words ending in "ing." Is this how the cool kids in London speak now? Words like "nothing" and "worrying" become "nothink" and "worryink." She also didn't seem to have read the book before diving in to narrate it. Like when the monkey familiar turned back into a necklace, she emphasized the word "bling!" as if it was a sound, rather than the familiar turning back into bling (the necklace). She did do a good job voicing Erica though. I loved that she had a Northern accent.
Narration issues aside, the story was the usual patchwork of cleverness and craziness that Tom Holt reliably writes. Storylines cross and recross, new characters spring out of the woodwork, and everyone gets to be snarky. If you like Tom Holt's other books, you'll likely enjoy this one. No previous J. W. Wells characters appear, though there are plenty of mortals, gods and immortals stumbling around, trying to save the earth from Santa's ex-wife. I did enjoy the story, though I wish I'd just read it in Kindle format and skipped the audiobook.
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1 person found this helpful