
The Quiet Damage
QAnon and the Destruction of the American Family
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Narrated by:
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Jesselyn Cook
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By:
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Jesselyn Cook
About this listen
The “gripping” (The Atlantic) story of five families shattered by pernicious, pervasive conspiracy theories, and how we might set ourselves free from a crisis that could haunt American life for generations.
“Excellent . . . This is the intimate side of the cold civil war America has been stuck in for nearly a decade.”—Michelle Goldberg, The New York Times
“SHED MY DNA”: three excruciating words uttered by a QAnon-obsessed mother, once a highly respected lawyer, to her only son, once the closest person in her life. QAnon beliefs and adjacent conspiracy theories have had devastating political consequences as they’ve exploded in popularity. What’s often overlooked is the lasting havoc they wreak on our society at its most basic and intimate level—the family.
In The Quiet Damage, celebrated reporter Jesselyn Cook paints a harrowing portrait of the vulnerabilities that have left so many of us susceptible to outrageous falsehoods promising order, purpose, and control. Braided throughout are the stories of five American families: an elderly couple whose fifty-year romance takes a heartbreaking turn; millennial sisters of color who grew up in dire poverty—one to become a BLM activist, the other, a hardcore conspiracy theorist pulling her little boy down the rabbit hole with her; a Bay Area hippie-type and her business-executive fiancé, who must decide whether to stay with her as she turns into a stranger before his eyes; evangelical parents whose simple life in a sleepy suburb spirals into delusion-fueled chaos; and a rural mother-son duo who, after carrying each other through unspeakable tragedy, stop speaking at all as ludicrous untruths shatter a bond long thought unbreakable.
Charting the arc of each believer’s path from their first intersection with conspiracy theories to the depths of their cultish conviction, to—in some cases—their rejection of disinformation and the mending of fractured relationships, Cook offers a rare, intimate look into the psychology of how and why ordinary people come to believe the unbelievable. Profound, brilliantly researched, and beautifully written, The Quiet Damage lays bare how we have been taken hostage by grifters peddling lies built on false hope—and how we might release our loved ones, and ourselves, from their grasp.
©2024 Jesselyn Cook (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Where the book shines is in creating empathy for a group of people frequently dismissed or misunderstood, and for their grieving and divided families . . . By delving into the ways people become susceptible to QAnon, Cook uncovers a deeper truth: Many of us go through life with a gaping hole caused by trauma, isolation or shame, and we find healthy and unhealthy ways to fill it. For people like Doris and Kendra, QAnon’s message, however insane it sounds (and is), makes them feel valued and valuable.”—The New York Times
“Each is tragic and heartbreaking in its own way. All feel highly pertinent to the political realities of the moment, where great masses of people share beliefs that are demonstrably untrue.”—The Bulwark
“Cook illuminates vividly the experience of loving someone in crisis—a crisis you can’t fully understand and definitely didn’t anticipate—and the impossible question of how long to stand by them. . . . The stories are gripping not just because QAnon is so bewilderingly strange but also because the idea of a person you love disappearing before your eyes is so terrible—and perhaps for many readers, relatable. . . . [T]he book feels briefly hopeful. With patience and empathy, it seems to suggest, you can reach someone who once felt very, very far away.”—The Atlantic
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Some people bounce back in response to setbacks; others break. We often think that these responses are hardwired, but fortunately this is not the case. Stoicism offers us an alternative approach. Plumbing the wisdom of one of the most popular and successful schools of thought from ancient Rome, philosopher William B. Irvine teaches us to turn any challenge on its head. The Stoic Challenge, then, is the ultimate guide to improving your quality of life through tactics developed by ancient Stoics, from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca to Epictetus.
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Rehashing of points in Irvine's previous work
- By Anon a Mus on 10-17-20
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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Ghost
- My Thirty Years as an FBI Undercover Agent
- By: Michael R. McGowan, Ralph Pezzullo
- Narrated by: Mike Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Within FBI field operative circles, groups of people known as “Special” by their titles alone, Michael R. McGowan is an outlier. Over the course of his career, McGowan has worked more than 50 undercover cases. In this extraordinary and unprecedented book, McGowan will take listeners through some of his biggest cases, from international drug busts to the Russian and Italian mobs to biker gangs and contract killers to corrupt unions and SWAT work. Ghost is an unparalleled view into how the FBI, through the courage of its undercover Special Agents, nails the bad guys.
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Interesting story, but narration eh
- By Ahdumb on 10-06-18
By: Michael R. McGowan, and others
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The Complete Book of Five Rings
- By: Miyamoto Musashi, Kenji Tokitsu - editor/translator
- Narrated by: Brian Nishii
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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The Complete Book of Five Rings is an authoritative version of Musashi's classic The Book of Five Rings, translated and annotated by a modern martial arts master, Kenji Tokitsu. Tokitsu has spent most of his life researching the legendary samurai swordsman and his works, and in this book he illuminates this seminal text, along with several other works by Musashi.
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Best translation I have encountered.
- By DW on 05-27-16
By: Miyamoto Musashi, and others
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Medieval Myths & Mysteries
- By: Dorsey Armstrong, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Dorsey Armstrong
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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The 10 enlightening (and often humorous) lectures of Medieval Myths and Mysteries will show you how far from the “dark” times of legend these centuries were. Uncover the facts about the Knights Templar. Reveal the truth behind the tales of legendary creatures like the Questing Beast and the unicorn. Trace the events of the Black Death and the ways it altered the world in its wake, and much more. With Professor Armstrong, you will dig deep into the ways that later generations reshaped the narrative of the medieval years and perpetuated the myths.
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Interesting, but centered on Britain
- By Ximena on 04-10-20
By: Dorsey Armstrong, and others
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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Mythology: Mega Collection
- Classic Stories from the Greek, Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Mesopotamian and Egyptian Mythology
- By: Scott Lewis
- Narrated by: Madison Niederhauser, Oliver Hunt
- Length: 31 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know how many wives Zeus had? Or how the famous Trojan War was caused by one beautiful lady? Or how Thor got his hammer? Give your imagination a real treat. This Mega Mythology Collection of eight audiobooks is for you....
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An interesting set of introductions.
- By Kevin Potter on 05-30-19
By: Scott Lewis
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Its messaging can seem cryptic, even nonsensical, yet for tens of thousands of people, it explains everything: What is QAnon, where did it come from, and is the Capitol insurgency a sign of where it’s going next? Mike Rothschild, a journalist specializing in conspiracy theories, has been collecting their stories for years, and through interviews with QAnon converts, apostates, and victims, as well as psychologists, sociologists, and academics, he is uniquely equipped to explain the movement and its followers.
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Great book, lousy narrator
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Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.
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Compelling narrative and beautifully written
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Overall well done, but strays off course
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In the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, a disturbing social media trend emerged: a large number of yoga instructors and alt-health influencers were posting stories about a secretive global cabal bent on controlling the world’s population with a genocidal vaccine. Instagram feeds that had been serving up green smoothie recipes and Mary Oliver poems became firehoses of Fox News links, memes from 4chan, and prophecies of global transformation.
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Thorough and thoughtful
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Compelling narrative and beautifully written
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From school boards to the Supreme Court, Christian theocracy is ascendant in America—and only through exploring its motivations and impacts can we understand the crisis we face. In Wild Faith, Lavin fearlessly confronts whether our democracy can survive an organized, fervent theocratic movement, one that seeks to impose its religious beliefs on American citizens.
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Disinformation is designed to evoke a strong emotional response to push us toward more extreme views, unable to find common ground with others. The false claims that led to the breathtaking attack on our Capitol in 2020 may have been only a dress rehearsal. Attack from Within shows us how to prevent it from happening again, thus preserving our country's hard-won democracy.
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I took this book too personally.
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In Network of Lies, New York Times bestselling author Brian Stelter answers these questions by weaving together private texts, unpublished emails, depositions, and other primary sources to tell the chilling story of Trump’s alleged conspiracy to steal the 2020 election, and the right-wing media’s mission to put him back in office in 2024.
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The Longest Con tells the fascinating story of the partisan con artists who have corrupted conservative politics in our time, creating a toxic phenomenon that culminated in the election of Donald Trump, a bumptious fraud whose checkered career and tawdry retinue, including his presidential cabinet, have featured almost every variety of scam. But long before he appeared, Trump's path to power was blazed by the motley horde of swindlers and quacks who preceded him.
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White rural voters hold the greatest electoral sway of any demographic group in the United States, yet rural communities suffer from poor healthcare access, failing infrastructure, and severe manufacturing and farming job losses. Rural voters believe our nation has betrayed them, and to some degree, they’re right. In White Rural Rage, Tom Schaller and Paul Waldman explore why rural Whites have failed to reap the benefits from their outsize political power and why, as a result, they are the most likely group to abandon democratic norms and traditions.
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Preaching to the choir
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In 1979, a fiery preacher named Jane Whaley attracted a small group of followers with a promise that she could turn their lives around. In the years since, Whaley’s following has expanded to include thousands of congregants across three continents. Based on hundreds of interviews, secretly recorded conversations, and thousands of pages of documents, Pulitzer Prize winner Mitch Weiss and Holbrook Mohr’s Broken Faith is a terrifying portrait life inside the Word of Faith Fellowship, and the harrowing account of one family who escaped after two decades.
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Not much substance
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Stories Are Weapons
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Annalee Newitz traces the way disinformation, propaganda, and violent threats have evolved from military weapons deployed against foreign adversaries into tools in domestic culture wars. Newitz delves into America's deep-rooted history with psychological operations, beginning with Benjamin Franklin's Revolutionary War-era fake newspaper and nineteenth-century wars on Indigenous nations, and reaching its apotheosis with the Cold War and twenty-first-century influence campaigns online.
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The Forever Wars
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A Well-Trained Wife
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Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.” A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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A review from a chronic non-reviewer
- By T. L. P. on 08-11-24
By: Tia Levings
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The Conspiracy to End America
- Five Ways My Old Party Is Driving Our Democracy to Autocracy
- By: Stuart Stevens
- Narrated by: Jeff Bottoms
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Today’s Republican party is not a “normal” political party in the American tradition. It has become an autocratic movement masquerading as a political party. As Stuart Stevens argues in The Conspiracy to End America, if we look away from that truth, we greatly increase the likelihood that the America we love will slip away, never to return.
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Required Reading
- By Arturo Zendejas on 10-27-23
By: Stuart Stevens
What listeners say about The Quiet Damage
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-02-25
One side only
Disgusted and sad in how this book vilifies and denigrates one side of the political isle while failing to look in the mirror. The left is just as wound up in media driven brainwashing as the right may be in alternative media. Take 5 MSNBC watchers or 5 believers of The View and apply the same scrutiny and write a volume on the cult of the left. This book contributes to the division of Americans and does nothing but widen the gap. If you’re looking to reinforce your leftist viewpoint, here is your next read. If you’re looking for balance or non-bias views, keep looking.
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- Cary McKay
- 08-05-24
Great storytelling
Really loved the stories presented. Reminded me of people I know who fell down the “rabbit hole.”
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- Anonymous User
- 02-10-25
Things I have heard my sister say.
A way to talk with her without insulting her. I think my best friend might believe these things as well.
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- Linda
- 08-16-24
Honest look at the damage conspiracy theories wreck on society.
Really good listen and gave me a lot of insight in some things going on right now.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-22-24
The Stories
Compassionate, nuanced stories of people’s lives gripped by disinformation. Useful insight. The author seems ethical and accountable in telling other people’s stories.
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- John O
- 09-26-24
Great book. All too relatable.
Some great work here. Essential reading for anyone who’s lost a family member to such nonsense.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-12-24
Eye opening
Changed my viewpoint of this group. Instead of feeling anger I feel more sad for the friends and families.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sammael Z
- 08-16-24
Gripping storytelling and tight pacing
An insight window into wtf happened to everyone these past few years, told through the perspectives of five different people.
No gimmicks or chintzy cliches, you’ll finish this book with a sense of awareness and compassion about your social circles, and how no one is immune to the allure of conspiracy theories.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-31-25
The Pull of Conspiracies
This book is a profile of individuals who slipped into Qanon conspiracies. In includes some scientific, psychological, religious and other explanations for why individuals slip into the world of conspiracy theories.
I can’t do justice to what a good book this is for this review. It is tragic in its subject matter, but offers hope. Some people don’t make it out, others do- much like addiction. I hope that people who have family members stuck in this dangerous web will find solace in this book.
Do not take Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube posts and videos at their word. Don’t listen to politicians who lie and divide us. There is an incentive structure that allows for monetization and power to accrue through sensationalism, lies, and conspiracies.
Guard your minds with logic and reason. Live your life with love and hope for your fellow humans, even those you vehemently disagree with. It’s the only way we’ll get out of this cycle.
My thanks to the author for researching, interviewing, and writing this book. It is thought-provoking and desperately needed for our times.
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- Joshua M. Kuo
- 09-30-24
Engaging story telling
Not only is the content engaging and well written, the author’s narration captures the minute details and intricate emotions of the book. Well worth the audio experience.
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2 people found this helpful