The Secret Lives of Wives
Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married
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Narrated by:
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Bernadette Dunne
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By:
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Iris Krasnow
About this listen
A best-selling, groundbreaking author investigates wives who thrive, sharing their uncensored strategies for staying married.
America’s high divorce rate is well known, but little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that last longer than we ever thought possible. What’s the secret? To find out, best-selling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than 200 wives whose marriages have survived for 15-70 years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: they have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking, choices on how to keep their marital vows, “till death do us part,” as Krasnow says, “without killing someone first.”
In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow’s cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers apart. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question, who am I apart from my marriage? Krasnow’s goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other.
A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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Love, InshAllah
- The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women
- By: Ayesha Mattu, Nura Maznavi
- Narrated by: Lameece Issaq, Piper Goodeve, Lauren Fortgang, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Romance, dating, sex and - Muslim women? In this groundbreaking collection, 25 American Muslim writers sweep aside stereotypes to share their search for love openly for the first time, showing just how varied the search for love can be - from singles' events and online dating, to college flirtations and arranged marriages, all with a uniquely Muslim twist. These compelling stories of love and romance create an irresistible balance of heart-warming and tantalizing, always revealing and deeply relatable.
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Sex, Love, & Feminism, in the Muslim Women's World
- By Susie on 03-06-13
By: Ayesha Mattu, and others
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
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The Conversation
- How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding
- A Memoir
- By: Kristin Newman
- Narrated by: Kristin Newman
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Kristin Newman spent her 20s and 30s dealing with the stresses of her high-pressure job as a television comedy writer, and the anxieties of watching most of her friends get married and start families while she wrestled with her own fear of both. Not ready to settle down and yet loathe to become a sad-sack single girl, Kristin instead started traveling the world, often alone, for a few months each year, falling madly in love with attractive locals who provided moments of the love she wanted without the cost of the freedom she needed.
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Struggled to Finish
- By YITBOS on 11-21-15
By: Kristin Newman
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Unhooked
- How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
- By: Laura Sessions Stepp
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Here's an eye-opening examination of the "hookup" culture, seen through the experiences of high-school- and college-age women who confront the hard lessons of dating, love, and sex. Stepp follows three groups of young women and comes away with some disturbing insights. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed or, worse, seen as impossible. Many young women can't handle this, and they're being battered physically and emotionally by the new dating landscape.
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Essential Reading for Parents
- By Elton on 04-19-07
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
What listeners say about The Secret Lives of Wives
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LaToya
- 01-27-12
The Secret Lives of Wives is eye opening
What made the experience of listening to The Secret Lives of Wives the most enjoyable?
While reading this book I felt like I was in a room of my married girlfriends and everyone was being open and honest about their marriages. There was something to learn from each story. I am proud to confess that my husband and I have been married for 17 years and there were good times and there were bad times, but this book let know me know that I/we are not alone. Marriage is an adventure to be shared.By the way my husband overheard me listening and enjoyed the book too.
What about Bernadette Dunne’s performance did you like?
She was personable. I felt like she was right in the room talking to me.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Throw away the cookie cutter and find what works for you.
Any additional comments?
I'd like to see Iris's other books available on audible soon.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Elizabeth
- 10-23-17
Reader makes this book not so great
For some reason the way the reader presents this book is quite undesirable. I probably would have enjoyed the book better if I actually read it myself than listening to it. However, the author seems to go on and on about herself at first and it’s quite boring. I also felt like this was a bias take on the topic of marriage as if she deliberately took stories to make you stay in a marriage. I don’t agree with everything from the book and it comes off as an old fashion point of view. The isn’t for everyone, but I’m sure each individual will take something positive away from this book.
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- AudieLover
- 09-02-22
Some interesting information
This contained some interesting advice/stories. However, a lot of them just seemed sad, and not advice about how to live a happy life. Stories from people who say they stayed together even though they weren’t in love and didn’t have passion, how sad of an existence those people must have had. I didn’t like the narrator at all. She sounded way too old and had strange inflections. I’m glad this was free to listen to.
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- Kristy
- 03-04-20
Excellent!!
This book hit the nail on the head when it comes to being married forever!
A must read if your marriage has hit a dead end.
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- Colleen
- 08-03-16
Disappointing
I enjoyed hearing the stories of the women who were in long marriages. However, I felt the title of this should have been "Iris tries to make sense of her own long marriage".
The author spent way too much time analyizing her own relationship and waxing poetic over her own experiences. It would have been more interesting to me if it simply relayed the stories told by the women she interviewed.
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- OLGA
- 05-05-23
Good to hear true stories
I like that this book is without illusions. It tells very different stories of different families, what they went through in their marriages. It gives some lessons how to stay motivated, achieve own professional goals, share burden of household, survive illness, how to preserve happiness. It presents different views about sex life in marriage. I find it’s good to see that no family is the same, and none are ideal. It’s a better book to read than having some idealised stories. I like it’s realism.
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- Devon Irby
- 02-05-18
Interesting Spin on Marriage
This author takes an interesting spin on long-term marriages that appear to have the traditional success that people wish for. Yet, she explores varied and secretive reasons on how many couples are able to maintain their marriages. This book is filled with several women who have been married for 20+ years, in which they share their secrets of marriage. Those secrets range from developing outside hobbies to finding other male companions to fill the gaps that are missing in their marriages. These stories are heart-found and personal. Yet, with any relationship type of book, some people listening, might not completely agree with all the situations.
As far as how the book is laid out, I feel there was a bit too much repetitive discussion at the beginning of the book. I got a bit board listing listening all about Iris's marriage which frankly was not that interesting, but I am glad I kept going with the audio because there were some really interesting stories. As far as the narrator, she did an excellent job on this type of book. At times, she had to read the instructional aspect of the book, while being able to change her narrating style to match a fictional type of stories, even though these stories were claimed to be real-life situations. Overall, I would give this a B+.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Niki
- 07-25-19
READ THIS BOOK
This book is so amazing!
This is an honest look at marriage.
READ THIS BOOK
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1 person found this helpful
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- McKenzie
- 03-25-21
Unexpectedly great!
I came across this book without looking for anything like it. I was pleasantly surprised. It had me hooked after the first listen. I really enjoyed the readers voice along with the stories. I would (and already have) recommended to others!
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- Andrea
- 06-04-22
Do not bother with drinking this kool-aid.
If I wanted to be preached at about the virtues of a singular marriage , no matter the size of the problems, I’d start with this book.
No thanks.
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