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Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
- Arachnomancer, Book 3
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall
- Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins
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Publisher's summary
In a village of lazy, good-for-nothing Cobalins, one manly man—a true studly stud—stands above them all: the great, the powerful, the King of…Knock.
(Desley palms her forehead. You no be King of Shadows! Now we have to start over. Cobalins groan.)
The terrible Army of Light knows the secret location of Dedu Tedu Novus. War is here. There's absolutely no avoiding it.
Or is there?
Naturally, Dhane does the most unthinkable thing: employs an impromptu plan, his favorite type. It's dangerous, it's crazy, and it embarks them on a new adventure where it rains every day and the problems don't stop.
Can he save his village? Can he convince Challenger Sarah to help? Or is he only putting off the inevitable, the point where the Changed Reditai turn all those of Shadow into stone for their mysterious plans?
Tropical Hazard is the third installment in the hilarious—and sometimes serious—Arachnomancer series. Travel to a new zone, see the world, and eat spider tacos. Octoralis glares. Or… umm… don't. Don't do that last thing.
Notice: Arachnomancer was rated M for mature by a team of immature Cobalins. Listen at your own risk.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Wrong Divinity
- Oh Sh*t! I F*cking Hate Spiders! (Arachnomancer, Book 1)
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall, Reba Buhr
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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rough
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-04-23
By: Dustin Tigner
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Bookworm to Badass
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
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This was a fun read
- By clinton on 12-20-23
By: Dustin Tigner
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Time to Play
- Apocalypse Parenting, Book 1
- By: Erin Ampersand
- Narrated by: Laurie Catherine Winkel
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A few minutes ago, Meghan Moretti's biggest concern was getting the kids' athletic clothes washed in time for practice this evening. Now, it seems that Earth has been forced into participating in some high-stakes intergalactic reality television. All electrical wiring has been slagged, and most combustibles neutralized. Some kind of evil space rodents are appearing on the front lawn, too.
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just eating no review here.
- By Cory A. Marshall on 04-03-23
By: Erin Ampersand
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Redemption's Cost
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Levi Werner
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ezekiel died on Earth only to be resurrected in the body of a Lich. Well, now he’d done it. He was only playing the villain to blow off steam, now he was stuck in the body of one.
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Not overwhelming stats!
- By M.P. LaVoice on 06-28-24
By: Levi Werner
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Wings and Tails
- By: Isaac Lee
- Narrated by: Evan Reed, Amber Hartt
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One sunny day, a routine airshow ended with me flying through a portal to another world. Here, warplanes aren’t the only thing in the sky. Oh, and my mind has a tendency to see what others are thinking. Now, amongst airships, beautiful beastkin, floating continents and telepathic powers, I’ll have to pick a side to fight for. When I do, I'll have to prove my loyalty, my skill, and play my part in saving this world from an evil that crossed from my world into this one. On the ground, I’m just a man, but in the air, I’m as powerful as a dragon.
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5 stars
- By Joshua Airington on 06-05-24
By: Isaac Lee
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Mark of the Crijik: A LitRPG Adventure
- Mark of the Crijik, Book 1
- By: ThinkTwice
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Andross Silver has a nice life...until he is pushed off a building and finds himself in a new world. Reborn into a family that wants to kill him, gifted with a System, and armed with determination, Andross must rise to the challenges of a strange new world he suddenly finds himself in. His only blessing is the Mark of the Crijik, a magical gift from a divine being that bestows great powers onto those that possess it. It also kills them at the age of 25. Andross must master magic to help him carve a path to greatness.
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Refreshing Lit RPG without the angst
- By Charles Johnson on 11-02-22
By: ThinkTwice
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Wrong Divinity
- Oh Sh*t! I F*cking Hate Spiders! (Arachnomancer, Book 1)
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall, Reba Buhr
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
-
-
rough
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-04-23
By: Dustin Tigner
-
Bookworm to Badass
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
-
-
This was a fun read
- By clinton on 12-20-23
By: Dustin Tigner
-
Time to Play
- Apocalypse Parenting, Book 1
- By: Erin Ampersand
- Narrated by: Laurie Catherine Winkel
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A few minutes ago, Meghan Moretti's biggest concern was getting the kids' athletic clothes washed in time for practice this evening. Now, it seems that Earth has been forced into participating in some high-stakes intergalactic reality television. All electrical wiring has been slagged, and most combustibles neutralized. Some kind of evil space rodents are appearing on the front lawn, too.
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just eating no review here.
- By Cory A. Marshall on 04-03-23
By: Erin Ampersand
-
Redemption's Cost
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Levi Werner
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ezekiel died on Earth only to be resurrected in the body of a Lich. Well, now he’d done it. He was only playing the villain to blow off steam, now he was stuck in the body of one.
-
-
Not overwhelming stats!
- By M.P. LaVoice on 06-28-24
By: Levi Werner
-
Wings and Tails
- By: Isaac Lee
- Narrated by: Evan Reed, Amber Hartt
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One sunny day, a routine airshow ended with me flying through a portal to another world. Here, warplanes aren’t the only thing in the sky. Oh, and my mind has a tendency to see what others are thinking. Now, amongst airships, beautiful beastkin, floating continents and telepathic powers, I’ll have to pick a side to fight for. When I do, I'll have to prove my loyalty, my skill, and play my part in saving this world from an evil that crossed from my world into this one. On the ground, I’m just a man, but in the air, I’m as powerful as a dragon.
-
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5 stars
- By Joshua Airington on 06-05-24
By: Isaac Lee
-
Mark of the Crijik: A LitRPG Adventure
- Mark of the Crijik, Book 1
- By: ThinkTwice
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Andross Silver has a nice life...until he is pushed off a building and finds himself in a new world. Reborn into a family that wants to kill him, gifted with a System, and armed with determination, Andross must rise to the challenges of a strange new world he suddenly finds himself in. His only blessing is the Mark of the Crijik, a magical gift from a divine being that bestows great powers onto those that possess it. It also kills them at the age of 25. Andross must master magic to help him carve a path to greatness.
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Refreshing Lit RPG without the angst
- By Charles Johnson on 11-02-22
By: ThinkTwice
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Champion's Trial
- A Summoner Fantasy LitRPG (Bonded Summoner, Book 1)
- By: JJ Bookerson
- Narrated by: Anne Marie Lebeaur, Jack Smith
- Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When a God of War barged into his apartment, Jake had no idea what to expect... but it wasn't being forced into a never-ending war against evil invaders, or that the battle would strangely resemble the MMORPG games he loved. Working hard and building himself up from almost nothing, Jake would need every bit of knowledge and preparation to master his new class of Summoner. Joined by a sly Demoness with an ancient past and a shy Valkyrie hoping to prove herself in battle, they'll find excitement and enjoyment as they level and grow in power.
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Check This One Out
- By Daniel on 07-15-23
By: JJ Bookerson
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The First Law of Cultivation
- A Xianxia Progression Fantasy (Qi=MC^2, Book 1)
- By: KrazeKode
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 21 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lu Jie woke up in a world filled with scheming sects, arrogant young masters, and the mad chase for the immortal heavens. He wanted none of it, and soon finds himself beaten bloody in a spar he didn't remember and treated as less than worthless. But his plan to escape the sect is interrupted by an old Alchemist's pills that heal him within moments—a magical cure. These medicines ignite the flame of curiosity to learn true magic in him. Lu Jie sets out to study the truths hidden within the world, and soon finds an all new path of cultivation that could take him to the very top.
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Meh. BoC was better
- By O. C. Stevens on 06-26-23
By: KrazeKode
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Dread Knight
- A Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy
- By: Sarah Hawke
- Narrated by: Richard Brock, Raya Kane
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Centuries ago, a cabal of powerful mages cast a disastrous spell that corrupted the source of magic, transforming much of the world's population into merciless monsters called Riven. Empires crumbled. Civilization collapsed. Yet an ember of hope remains. Duncan Keene is a Dread Knight, a dark warrior empowered by an unholy pact with a demon lord. He has sacrificed everything to save the world from the Riven—his family, his future, even his very soul. When he finds himself unexpectedly partnered with the last uncorrupted angel in the world, she makes it her mission to redeem him.
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give me some more
- By JB on 04-15-24
By: Sarah Hawke
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There's a Cat Girl in My Cubicle! Omnibus
- Books 1-3: A Slice of Life Office Adventure
- By: Austin Beck
- Narrated by: Giancarlo Herrera, Hannah Schooner
- Length: 20 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Immerse yourself in the extraordinary tale of Kazuki, an otaku with a deep infatuation for cat girls, who suddenly finds himself in the enchanting Silver City. Here, a variety of fantastical races coexist harmoniously, but it's the cat girls who command Kazuki's attention. Kazuki's life takes a thrilling turn when he rescues a beautiful cat girl executive from danger, landing him a role as Security Specialist at 'Whisker Wonders,' a prominent cat girl consulting firm.
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Poorly Written & Oddly Narrated
- By Laziest Reviewer on 09-13-24
By: Austin Beck
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The Panchira Protocol
- By: Davi Mai
- Narrated by: Razor After Dark
- Length: 3 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Peeping Tom has spent years locked up in a mental institution because of his penchant for lifting girl's skirts. So when a busload of Catholic schoolgirls arrives on the scene, he thinks all his Christmases have come at once. But these aren't normal schoolgirls. They're here to chew gum and kick ass, and they're all out of gum.
By: Davi Mai
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Reborn as a Demonic Tree
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: Xkarnation
- Narrated by: Ramón De Ocampo
- Length: 21 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ashlock wakes in the courtyard of a demonic sect... as a tree. A tree that eats people. An odd start to a new life. Almost as strange as the humans flying through the skies on flaming swords and challenging the heavens. After all, this is a world where humans could chase the goal of immortality through the art of cultivation. But Ashlock is merely a sapling in a desolate courtyard, left alone with his thoughts and unable to speak to those passing him by. Unless he does something about it.
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What an amazing yet frustrating perspective
- By Kitsune on 12-31-23
By: Xkarnation
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Quest Master
- A LitRPG Fantasy Adventure
- By: Hercules West
- Narrated by: Garrett Finlay, Erin Bateman
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I woke and found myself in an ancient temple—naked, alone and without any memory of my past. Even the name my status screen displays—"Valerian Hawkblade"—is unfamiliar to me. It's a good name. A champion's name. Fate joins me with a pair of adventurers searching the long abandoned temple. Nikita, a human warrior, and her friend Kazumi, an elven mage, are seeking a magic weapon to defeat Baron Skeg. I pledge my aid in their quest for vengeance and together we begin a journey of leveling up, winning treasure, and upgrading our gear.
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Hercules is just another Simp Writer
- By Anonymous User on 06-07-24
By: Hercules West
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Golem Dungeon
- Orb Keeper # 1 LitRPG
- By: S P Andrews
- Narrated by: Miles Meili
- Length: 28 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The goblin horde is coming, driven by a dark Sorcerer eager to drive the dwarven race into extinction. Reborn as a dungeon core inside a fabled gem known as the Brisingstone, Bowen vows to use this new life to protect what is left of his people and avenge those who could not be saved. With new-found powers, Bowen learns to create golems of stone and clay to act on his behalf. With half-remembered mining skills, Bowen rekindles the forge of his ancestors and, under the guidance of his new Dungeon fairy, teaches his golems to create metal automatons of war.
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Horrible
- By David W Nicholson on 08-17-21
By: S P Andrews
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Alpha
- Arise, Book 1
- By: Jez Cajiao
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet, Christopher Boucher
- Length: 21 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Possibly it's not to save a pair of drowning girls, not go 'viral' on social media and certainly not to let the local police take your passport, trapping you on a small 'party' island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. But Steve isn't the average guy, he's ex-military, ex-enforcer and ex-human. He's a one man nanite fuelled nightmare for those that cross the line, and he's decided that its time to clean up his act. He's going to make up for the things he's done, and save 'the little guys'.
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Book was doing well until he get's a girlfriend
- By Wade on 07-09-22
By: Jez Cajiao
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Momo the Ripper
- A Fantasy LitRPG Adventure
- By: C.R. Dryad
- Narrated by: Anjali Bhimani
- Length: 17 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As an anti-social art major perpetually at risk of dropping out, college life wasn't a great fit for Momo. When she wakes up one morning in a dark cavern full of sentient skeletons and oddball introverts who call themselves necromancers, she knows a new era of her life is about to start. Chosen for her meek and harmless personality, she is able to exist under the radar as she completes the Dawn's necromantic missions. Watch her as she gains confidence (and class levels), and reluctantly rises from meager apprentice to self-assured queen of the underworld.
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Fun book and narrator Anjali Bhimani is great
- By W.J. on 04-16-24
By: C.R. Dryad
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Unintended Cultivator, Volume One
- By: Eric Dontigney
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sen never dreamed of ascension. Such were the aspirations of the rich young nobles, not orphans like him, scraping together a meager living on the streets of Orchard’s Reach. However, when destiny takes an unexpected turn, Sen finds himself thrust into the role of a cultivator’s disciple. Chosen over the nobles who once looked down on him, he is adopted into a makeshift family of three ancient cultivators, each with a lifetime of knowledge and insights. These old monsters will teach Sen everything they can, from the art of the jian and spear to the mysteries of arcane alchemy.
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artificial cultivator story.
- By kevin on 02-03-24
By: Eric Dontigney
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Arcane Lawmaker 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Rozelyn Rader, Lewis Alexander
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Garrett Cross is no stranger to traveling the outlands. He's been roaming for years, hunting down vampires and giving them exactly what they deserve: sharpened stakes and silver bullets. Now, he's come to Frontier Falls. It's a little settlement where humans and vampires have made peace. But if there's one thing Cross knows, it's vampires, and any deal they make is one just waiting to be broken.
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Awesome
- By CC on 06-01-24
By: Dante King
What listeners say about Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- Peyton
- 06-30-24
Never fails to get a laugh
After unfortunately finishing the third book in this amazing series it pains me to realize that I no longer have any arachnomancer books to listen to, this travesty fills me with disappointment such as Octoralis is filled with at Dhane’s thwarting of her romantic plans.
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