(In Rod Serling's voice) You unlock this door with the key of stupidity. Beyond it is a dimension where EJ, Rory, young Vince, and Jay Salerno discuss the horror anthology, "TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE." You enter this dimension and are served a gumbo of idiotic commentary that will turn even the sanest traveler into a stark-raving madman. You've just crossed over into...the FREAKQUELS ZONE!

NosFERRETu has returned, biting the ankles of peasants and transforming them into vampiric ferrets! After learning there’s a bounty for its staking, EJ and Rory decide to get in on some of that sweet sweet reward money! Before waging war with the little guy, vampire expert Elle Snow prepares the boys for the horrors to come by having them study one of the greatest vampire films of all time, “NOSFERATU!” Will they survive the furry fury of NosFERRETu? Eh…who cares?

Happy NEW YEARS FREAKQUENTS and welcome to SEASON 3! This week, a string of New Year-themed murders have occurred and EJ once again suspects Rory since he’s generally found guilty of such things. Will EJ confront Rory about his murderous ways or will he let it be someone else’s problem since he needs a buddy to review the forgotten 80’s horror gem “NEW YEAR’S EVIL” with? Priorities!

Merry Christmas, Freakquents! On a VERY special holiday episode, SANTA BILLY leaves the gang a Mathew Renaldi underneath the tree, complete with a Yuletide classic to review. So, gather around the fireplace as Mr. Renaldi regales EJ and Rory with a film that celebrates the true meaning of Christmas, Bob Clark’s horror masterpiece, “BLACK CHRISTMAS!”

Money is tight this holiday season so EJ and Rory are forced to babysit Leo for his father Shane Purdy. There’s only one catch, Leo would like to review the flick “BETTER WATCH OUT” (aka babysitter nightmare fuel) and then test out all of the Home Alone traps on the FREAKQUELS gang to see if they work the way they do in the movie. Will Rory and EJ put themselves through terrible abuse for a minimal amount of money? Eh, a buck’s a buck.

SLAY bells won’t ring this holiday season since FREAKQUELS favored Mogwai EJ Leeson has multiplied due to a watery slip-and-slide mishap! Since the batch of Leesons refuse to watch anything other than Snow White, Rory invites smokeless ashtray enthusiast Casey Clocker over to discuss a creature feature that hits close to home right now, “GREMLINS.”

It’s truly GARBAGE DAY as Rory and EJ visit film critic David Gonzalez to review all 20% of the new footage shot for the Christmas slasher anomaly, “SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2!”

Happy Thanksgiving, FREAKQUENTS!!! On a VERY special episode of FREAKQUELS, Turkey Day enthusiast Carl Mills invites EJ and Rory over for dinner to show off his brand-new John Carver mask and to discuss the Eli Roth joint, “THANKSGIVING!” He certainly doesn’t plan to feed them a freshly baked young Vince and then meticulously murder them…we think?