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Harold's Going Stiff 2011 British

Lonely pensioner, Harold Gimble, has become the first man to suffer from a new neurological disease that is slowly turning him into a zombie-like state. Harold s hermit-like existence is shaken up when a vivacious nurse, Penny Rudge, is sent along to alleviate his stiffness. Her special massage techniques work a treat on Harold and they become close friends.

Harold agrees to trial a possible cure for the disease at a private institute, and the initial results are excellent. But the following day he's in an even worse state than before, and after Penny accidentally overhears the doctor s dire prognosis for Harold she decides to sneak him away the next morning.

Word soon gets out, and before long a small group of bloodthirsty thugs are pursuing Harold and Penny across dramatic moorlands in the hope of a kill.

100% from fans onRT

5.8/10 on IMDB which is pretty good I think

It was alright

5/10 from me

A sad metaphor for dementia and other degenerative diseases, Alzheimer’s Parkinson’s etc

The hunters were annoying and unnecessarily comedic which is out of place with the rest of the movie

Flipped as you could tell between a documentary style and not… it was inconsistent

Good to see something from that angle, I think Maggie is similar with arnie? I don’t. Know

In the end it was a sad story about a lonely man at the end of his days in a lot of pain, who is given some hope, before the inevitable happens. Yeah, 5/10 is fair.

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Rememeber Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter? Ben Walker, Anthony Mackie, May Elizabeth Winstead, Dominic Cooper, Rufus Sewell, Jimmi SImpsom…. 2012 5.9 on IMDB 34% on RT? Well, this isn't that.

Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombie also 2012 but that is the only thing in common, starring…. Well nobody. Horror movie stalwart Bill Oberst from circus of the dead, werewolf risin, painkiller, scary or die, a haunting in same, dismal, valley of the saquatch, ditch day massacre, Krampus and nude nuns with big guns (seriously) as Abraham Lincoln 3.2 on IMDB 22% on RT

Produced by Asylum and release direct to video. Apparently it is a Mockbuster of the proper Vampire movie by 20th Century Fox. So jumping on the Vampire hunter marketing coattails.

Looking at the reviews. Jason Adams said it was extremely repetitive, with a script full of terrible lines. Other than Oberst the actors pretty much suck post colonial wastewater.

Dread Central said Oberst was good but overly written scenes, wildly uneven pacing and confusingly staged scenes prevented it from living up to its potential.

Connect Savannah said it was terrible.

Starburst said it was sluggishly directed from a weak script.

Everyone praised Oberst.

Even with the adding of Stonewall Jackson, Pat Garrett and Teddy Roosevelt, in the end, unlike Exit Humanity that has Brian Cox, Bill Moseley ,Stephen McHattie and Dee Wallace it doesn’t work.

The reviewers were right. Oberst was the only thing that worked. He gave a decent performance as Abe. Everyone else was average at best. The effects were poor. The constant speeches, the repetitive standing around, speech, then running about to orchestral music, then standing around got to much. It was haphazard in its timing.

3.5/10

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Not a lot is written about this 2004 movie for a reason. The cast and crew appear nowhere online in headshot form for a reason.

Conceptually it is an ok premise. The hadron collider has an unexpected dump of radiation. A team led by the chief scientist is heading down into it and 4 twenty something junior scientists volunteer to monitor it for the weekend. The radiation causes the research team to turn into zombies, and the volunteers need to escape the tunnels of the institute whilst malevolent forces from outside hamper their escape.

What do we get? 4 awful British actors walking tunnels slowly. They are jumped from nowhere by a zombie, fight it off. Run around the corner, then start to walks really slowly again. Repeat and rinse.

There is one decent scene/shot.

And the highlight was when one of the characters asking "did you get through to anyone?" and the subtitles stating "3 2 1".

Could have been done well but wasn't. Had a Cornetto in the freezer as a nod to Shaun of the Dead and some very loose 28 Days Later music at some point. But, all in all, this was a very poor effort deserving of it's 2/10 score