Showing results by narrator "Rupert Degas" in All Categories

Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny, this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for more than 40 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole, this is a killingly effective parody of The Lord of the Rings. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum) to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn), the bungling Goodgulf (Gandalf) to the timid, mean-minded boggies Frito (Frodo) and Dildo (Bilbo), no character is safe.

It's the night of the most decadent party of the century. Starlets, politicians, soccer stars, and intellectuals all turn up to rub elbows. Among them is a neurotically charming author struggling to write his next literary tome and pining for renewed recognition. In an unexpected turn of events, he crosses paths with The Wilde Beasts of Abaddon, a satanic sect planning to ruin the evening’s festivities in order to go down in history as a world-famous cult.

Grandma has come to stay for the royal visit by Princess Lucy to launch her new badger charity, 'Badges for Badgers'. Which would be fine, if she hadn't knitted Roman the crummiest jumper (AKA 'crumper') on earth that he's forced to wear to school. His whole class is in a fundraising frenzy, led by fame-crazy Rosie Taylor who is convinced that organising a charity fashion show is bound to win her favour with the princess.

A Man Could Stand Up—is the third of four installments in Ford Madox Ford's Parade's End tetralogy, which follows Christopher Tietjens, a wealthy British landowner and the last British Tory; his unfaithful wife, Sylvia; and his mistress, Valentine Wannop. Opening on Armistice Day (November 11, 1918), A Man Could Stand Up—serves as the climax of the series. Highlighting the tension between traditional values and a rapidly changing social order, the novel details Christopher and Valentine's trials as the post-war world takes shape around them.

Terrified, a young prisoner in the Second World War closes his eyes and pictures himself going out to bat on a sunlit cricket ground in Hampshire. Across the courtyard in a Victorian workhouse, a father too ashamed to acknowledge his son. A skinny girl steps out of a Chevy with a guitar; her voice sends shivers through the skull. Soldiers and lovers, parents and children, scientists and musicians risk their bodies and hearts in search of connection.

Days after his car erupts in a ball of flame, Nick Stone narrowly cheats death a second time when a gunman opens fire on him from the back of a motorcycle. Who knows his movements? Who wants him dead, and why? Stone's only chance of survival is to carry the fight to his attackers - but first he must uncover a trail of clues that leads from his own dark and complex past into the heart of a chilling conspiracy that threatens us all...Nick Stone's 11th adventure is McNab at his explosive best.

In April 2011, four soldiers - each a hero of recent conflicts who suffered devastating injuries in the line of duty - set out on a challenge that even an able-bodied athlete would balk at: a 200 mile trek, unsupported, to the North Pole. It was the culmination of a journey that began long before, when two friends decided to mount an expedition that would demonstrate how remarkable our armed forces are and raise funds for the rehabilitation of injured service men and women.

Toffle Towers is about to be inherited by the next generation. Chegwin Toffle is only 10 years old. But he isn’t going to let that stop him from turning this run-down hotel into a success. Chegwin is determined to transform Toffle Towers from a boring hotel for grown-ups into an incredibly exciting destination for children (and their families). But running a hotel isn’t easy. Chegwin has a lot to learn, and his tendency to drift off into daydreams isn’t helping. Chegwin has plenty of ideas. But can he turn his madcap daydreams into reality?

Kenstibec was genetically engineered to build a new world, but the apocalypse forced a career change. These days he drives a taxi instead. A fast-paced, droll and disturbing novel, Barricade is a savage road trip across the dystopian landscape of post-apocalypse Britain; narrated by the cold-blooded yet magnetic antihero, Kenstibec. Kenstibec is a member of the "Ficial" race, a breed of merciless super-humans.

Things aren't going so well for Brian McKechnie. His wife was attacked in their home, his cat was brutally killed and now a man with a suspiciously erratic accent is blackmailing him. When the police fail spectacularly at finding out who's after him, McKechnie engages the services of London's most unusual private eye. Duffy is a detective like no other. A bisexual ex-policeman with a phobia of ticking watches and a penchant for Tupperware.

The second book in Tim Harris's ridiculously entertaining Toffle Towers series that will make kids laugh out loud - and get their imaginations soaring. Chegwin’s adventures at Toffle Towers continue when his staff are ‘reverse mugged’. The hotel could lose all its guests if Chegwin can’t solve the mystery and stop the chaos. But there’s a greater challenge looming. Chegwin must go head to head with rival hotel owner Brontessa Braxton in the Great River Race. The stakes couldn’t be higher!

Having walked into the middle of the real reason the Hen Harriers are being shot down, Ben and Annie are captured as intruders and taken to a secure unit on a deserted area of the camp. These birds are just helpless victims in a much bigger operation - they attract too many visitors to the area and there's a top-secret piece of warfare technology being developed that needs to be kept quiet. If this weapon gets into the wrong hands it could have catastrophic worldwide effects.

When scientist Kate Larkin joins a secretive project to re-engineer the climate by resurrecting extinct species, she becomes enmeshed in another, even more clandestine program to recreate our long-lost relatives, the Neanderthals. But when the first of the children, a girl called Eve, is born, Kate cannot bear the thought of her growing up in a laboratory and so elects to abduct her, and raise her alone.

On a tiny island far away, in a sea that ripples with magic, Monty never knows what he might find. The most unexpected things wash up on Monty's Island. And a golden egg might be his most amazing find yet! But when a pair of flying monsters and a mysterious explorer arrive, it seems the egg is about to hatch into a very big problem. Can Monty find a way to solve it? Surely he can! All he needs is a little help from his friends. And the Hairy Horrible.

On a beautiful island far away, on a sea that ripples with magic, Monty never knows what he might find. Monty lives on a perfect island in the middle of a magical sea. Sometimes the sea throws up something interesting...and Monty goes on an amazing adventure! Monty, Tawny and friends receive some startling news: Scary Mary and her pirate crew are on their way, looking for a new island to call home. What can they do? Hiding is not an option - especially when Bunchy accidentally turns the whole island stripey with her new magic wand.

It is the month before Christmas, and Roman's class is preparing for the Christmas fete and the school pantomime. The new teacher at the helm - the awful Mr Le Salle, a flamboyant, theatrical and downright nasty piece of work - is the least of Roman's worries. He also has to contend with the most rubbish role in the panto (being a box) as well as organising the Santa's grotto stall at the Christmas fete with loose cannon Darren Gamble. As the panto nears, it seems that everything that could possibly go wrong is about to. It is left to Roman to save the panto and the day....

Elizabeth's sister Saoirse is a red-haired whirlwind, always leaving behind pieces that Elizabeth struggles to pick up. One of those pieces is Saoirse's six-year-old son, Luke, a quiet, contemplative boy. When Luke is playing in Elizabeth's garden one day, and witnessing the latest scene between his mother and his aunt, a friend named Ivan walks into his life. This unexpected and rather mysterious friend will change Luke - but will have an even greater impact on Elizabeth.

As boys growing up in a small country town, Arthur and his brother befriend an eccentric poet, whom they dub Vicky Bird—in fact a fairly well-known literary figure called Victor Neuberg. He is haunted by some romantic tragedy in his past, in which Crowley may be implicated. When Arthur goes up to Oxford, Vicky Bird connects him with circles who dabble in the supernatural. In London, Arthur graduates towards the epicenter of Bohemian literary life in the pubs of Fitzrovia.

On a tiny island far away, in a sea that ripples with magic, Monty never knows what he might find.... Everyone loves Bring-and-Buy Day, when Trader Jolly visits the Island with all the supplies Monty and his friends need. But this Bring-and-Buy Day is different. Instead of Trader Jolly, there's a sneaky new trader called Beady Bold. And he's arrived with a boatload of trouble. The yum-yams are yummy, but they're hiding a very scary secret. All seems lost until Monty comes up with a daring plan.

Why have certain denizens of Hell taken to throwing farm animals through innocent folks' kitchen windows? How long does it take a dead, desiccated gas attendant to walk out to his pumps? What sort of relationship do the Lord of the Underworld and Hell's Head Torturer have, besides the obvious professional one? What kind of air conditioning units do they use down there? Do they listen to Cyndi Lauper? What is Hell's official currency, and by what criteria did the Big Red Fella choose it?