
Grand Theft Sorcery
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Narrated by:
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Tess Irondale
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By:
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Elliott Kay
About this listen
The vampire lord of Los Angeles is dead, plunging the nightlife into chaos. His subjects fight over his title and his missing treasure hoard. The conflict pushes werewolves, sorcerers, and djinn closer than ever to open war.
Repo man Evan Murphy knows nothing of the supernatural. He only wants a roof over his head and food for his cats. When a risky job lands him in the dungeon of a Hollywood Hills necromancer, a forgotten god offers him the power to escape—making him the target of a beautiful immortal mercenary and every monster within a hundred miles. Evan’s new magic may save the city from its shadows, but only if he can save himself.
Warning: Grand Theft Sorcery contains explicit sex, explicit violence, explicit criticism of American law enforcement, bilingual profanity, a meet-cute that ends in homicide, conspicuous consumption, Los Angeles, demons, monsters, cops, vampires, talent agents, tautologies, street racing, attempted murder, successful murder, axe murder, motorcycle helmet murder, matching basketball hoodies, carjacking, kidnapping, brief torture, discovery of animal abuse (past/off-page), destruction of evidence, rampant traffic violations, premeditated hotel reservation with only one bed, desecration of the dead, awkward meetings with the ex, awkward meetings with the ex’s mom, deadly bisexuals, hypermasculine podcaster trash, acknowledgment of white privilege, false license plates, conspiracy, squatting, looting, mauling, home invasion, trespassing, witchcraft, abuse of authority, aggressive generosity, arguable cannibalism, destruction of private property, search warrant violations, outright lies, phone hacking, petty theft, grand larceny, vandalism, arson, defenestration, resisting arrest, driving under the influence of existential shock, appropriation of queer meme culture, shooting, punching, kicking, biting, couch surfing, bribery of wildlife, old-timey Hollywood stereotypes, internet sexism and exploitation thereof, unflattering implications about heaven and angels, two entirely normal cats, and the Black Dog of the Mojave.
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-
Story
Have you ever come across those stories with heroes who knew just how to get things done? The ones who were masters in five different martial arts, and knew ten ways to skin a bear after killing it with their bare hands? Yeah, that wasn’t me. Hell, I had trouble asking a girl out on a date. But someone in clerical must have made an error. Because I got ripped from an airplane on my way home after my last day in the Coast Guard. I mean, come on, I wasn’t even in one of the hardcore branches of the military or anything!
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Good one
- By CC on 03-29-25
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Hellmarine: They Shall Know Fear
- Hellmarine: A Slice-of-Demon Military Sci-Fi Epic, Book 1
- By: Virgil Knightley, Alphonse Fisk
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
The UEC has been fighting a losing battle against the demonic hordes, forced to surrender more ground every day. But aboard the U.S.S. Shotgun Opera, the Overmaiden—a sixth-generation Ghost AI—has just forged humanity’s perfect weapon and best hope: a supersoldier. The man he used to be is gone, lost with his family to demons on the mining world of Aonus. All that’s left is hate, rage, and unyielding power. Rip, crunch, gore, dismember—the unstoppable juggernaut will slaughter his way through Hell, driven by righteous fury and a singular drive.
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Rip and Tear
- By james emeagwali on 01-19-25
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
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Herald of Shalia
- By: Tamryn Tamer
- Narrated by: Amber Lee Connors, Kieran Flitton
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Sebastian Frost’s most recent memory was waking up in a field naked, in a body that wasn’t his own, in a world that definitely wasn’t his own, and three stunning pointy-eared women staring right at him. He also remembered hair as white as starlight, eyes like amethysts, and the name Shalia. Fortunately, it was the right name to know. Shalia was the elves’ goddess, and that made him her herald.
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Frost is my spirit animal!
- By Anthony on 09-14-20
By: Tamryn Tamer
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Monstrous Love: The Complete Trilogy Omnibus
- Monstrous Love
- By: Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 23 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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It would be an understatement to call Trevon Beaumont an accomplished monster slayer. He's traversed the European countryside upholding the legacy of his clan one completed mission at a time for the whole of his adult life. Now he's on his most perilous quest yet: slay the cruel but beautiful Countess Dracula.
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One of Knightley’s better, if sillier, series.
- By Kowth on 03-29-25
By: Virgil Knightley
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Poor Man's Fight: Poor Man's Fight, Book 1
- By: Elliott Kay
- Narrated by: Timothy Andrés Pabon
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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High school senior Tanner Malone has bombed the Test, a high-stakes exam that establishes how much he owes for his corporate-funded education. Burdened by a crushing debt that rules out college, Tanner enlists in the navy of Archangel, a star system with four terraformed worlds. But he hasn't factored in the space pirates.
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YOUR TOO WORDY
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-28-16
By: Elliott Kay
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Star Sluts: The Sex Generation
- By: Riley Rose
- Narrated by: Nikki Monroe
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Cassidy Clitko is captain of the USS Slutstream, one of the finest ships in Slutfleet. She leads her crew of horny women to the unknown reaches of space to deal with aliens the only way they know how: have hot sex with them! That is, when they’re not too busy banging each other.
By: Riley Rose
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Days of High Adventure
- By: Elliott Kay
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Gaming with friends offered what Amanda missed in her dreary college life: friendship and excitement, the thrill of combat for a good cause, and the chance to be a hero. Neither Amanda nor her friend, Eric, ever expected to face the suddenly real world of their fantasy adventures. But when a careless joke draws the ire of a dark wizard, both must rise to the challenge.
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Visit another world, but don't stay too long . . .
- By LITRPG Audiobook Reviews on 08-29-18
By: Elliott Kay
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Scarlet Citadel
- Walking Shadow, Book 1
- By: Jack Fields
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers, Tess Irondale
- Length: 20 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Set in the metropolis of Corinth City where steampunk meets neon gothic. Haunted by a recent heartbreak, Hughes is indebted to the city's most terrifying criminal gang. Desperate for salvation, Hughes sets his sights on joining the Scarlet Citadel, an enigmatic organization of pageant fighters, monster hunters, and keepers of secrets. As a member of their illustrious ranks, surely he can pay off his debts and change his life for the better.
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elegant prose
- By Okanda on 12-11-24
By: Jack Fields
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Warlock
- Warlock, Book 1
- By: Daniel Kensington
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
I expected aging out of the foster care system to be hard. I wasn't expecting it to include finding out I was a Warlock, destined to be hunted by the most powerful Witch Families so they could bind me to a coven of thirteen witches and spend the rest of my life "harvesting mana". Add to that a set of magical resonants that made me an even bigger target to some of those Witch Families, some of which would rather kill me than let a rival get me.
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Incredible first entry
- By reztech0ne on 12-30-24
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Privateer's Commission
- By: Randi Darren
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woods, Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ralph could be described as a rogue on a good day. A bad day involved a lot of cursing, calling him a pirate, or sometimes even having a shoot-out. It wasn't really his fault of course, or so he would have you believe. It was the fault of those who wanted to get in his way of making as much money as possible as a smuggler. His family had been gifted with a letter of marque for the Terran Confed, one that is inherited and has been passed down to him. Essentially, it gives him a lot of loopholes and ways through regulations to be a fantastic smuggler. Or as a legal pirate, a Privateer.
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A great listen.
- By Gitchel on 03-29-25
By: Randi Darren
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Dungeon Diving 101
- By: Bruce Sentar
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Dungeon is a place of magic and mystery, a vast branching, underground labyrinth that has changed the world and the people who dare to enter its depths. Those who brave its challenges are rewarded with wealth, fame, and powerful classes that set them apart from the rest. Ken was determined to follow the footsteps of his family and become one of the greatest adventurers the world has ever known. He knows that the only way to do that is to get into one of the esteemed Dungeon colleges, where the most promising young adventurers gather.
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Review after the VA Bait and Switch
- By Will on 03-19-25
By: Bruce Sentar
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Cheer Girls Omnibus: Books 1-4
- By: D.J. Kingman
- Narrated by: Andrew Pond, Erin Bateman
- Length: 43 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The complete 4 book Cheer Girls series is available in this single Omnibus edition.
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love the characters
- By Erica Thurman on 03-18-25
By: D.J. Kingman
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System Overclocked
- System Overclocked, Book 1
- By: Randi Darren
- Narrated by: Stephanie Savannah
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Wrench is a Fixer. Someone born to maintain, fix, and correct any and every issue that could go wrong in the habitat he lives in. Someone who makes sure he and his fellow humans can remain on display and entertain their owners as any good human pet would. At least, that’s what he was born to be. He’s taken a different route and joined a resistance faction to help free humanity to become more than just pets to an alien race.
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Weak ending but great
- By Burnt Taco Meat on 05-03-23
By: Randi Darren
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Paths of Akashic
- Book 1: Initiation
- By: Bainin
- Narrated by: Adam Stubbs, Mia Fothergill
- Length: 17 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Alistair’s life is turned upside down when he is abruptly separated from his friends and family. As the universe slowly transforms and new laws take hold, everyone within his universe is cast into the trial—a crucible of survival and transformation. Before being set on his path, Alistair encounters a system avatar—a brief and enigmatic guide who offers little explanation, guidance, or aid before sending him and the rest of his universe into the unknown.
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Doesn’t stay focused
- By andrewK on 11-06-24
By: Bainin