The way the world functions works through women. Our world moves through seasons. Similarly, women go through different phases in their monthly cycle that correlate with the seasons of nature. As women, when we understand the way our menstrual cycle works (even in perimenopause and menopause), we are able to better understand ourselves, especially our moods, our energy levels, and our natural tendencies during different times of the month.

Malka Chana Amichai, a certified Postpartum Doula, is passionate about helping women connect to their femininity. Her mission is to educate and support women to be active participants in their own life experiences. She expanded her practice to become a Prenatal Yoga instructor, a Kallah teacher who gives premarital education to brides, and a sexual health mentor. He main objective is to empower women in their womanhood and to facilitate their reconnection with the divine feminine that flows through all of us.

Below are the phases of our menstrual cycle, as they correspond to each season:

Menstrual Phase--Winter--just like when it's cold in the winter, we cuddle up with cozy socks and a warm blanket, and tend to stay home, during the time we are menstruating, women go inward. They want to spend more time at home; they tend to want to be by themselves; they do a lot of inner work and self-care during this time of the month.

Follicular Phase--Spring--just like in the spring when the flowers start blooming, and the weather starts getting warner, women start coming out of their shell more. They tend to want to be around people a bit more than during the menstrual phase. They experience more creativity, inspiration and hope.

Ovulation Phase--Summer--just like in the summer when it's hot and everything is in full bloom, women are more aroused, they want to be closer with their partner, they want to be around their friends and be much more social and outgoing. This is the phase of the month when they feel most connected to others.

Post Period Phase--Fall--just like the fall is the transition between summer and winter, the post period phase is an in between time for women; a type of 'nowhere zone,' where we feel that we're neither here nor there. This is the time when we experience higher than usual anxiety.

If you are in the perimenopause or menopause phase of your life, you can still connect to your cycle through the phases of the moon.

Rosh Chodesh is a women's holiday, and it's marked by the New Moon.

New Moon--correlates with the menstruation phase (winter)
Waxing Moon--correlates with the follicular phase (spring)
Full Moon--correlates with the ovulation phase (summer)
Waning Moon--correlates with the post period phase (fall)

Malka Chana also talks about how mothers can introduce the concept of menstruation and periods to her preteen or teenage daughter, and how mothers can transmit to them the beauty of being a woman.

For more information on Malka Chana, visit her website: https://www.bohemianbalabusta.com/about-me/

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

Attachment styles are our emotional blueprint, formed in our childhood, for the way we give and receive love, and for our ability (or inability) to feel safe and emotionally close to others. There are four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Each of these attachment styles is very clearly explained by Dr. Marnee Firestone, a licensed psychologist in Boca Raton, Florida, who provides individual therapy, family and parenting therapy, and conducts a variety of evaluations, including neuropsychological evaluations.

1. Secure Attachment--this is the most healthy and balanced attachment style. The person is emotionally available for intimacy, as well as independence, without feeling fearful or guilty. They tend to be calm and well balanced. A person with secure attachment most likely received consistent love, validation and nurturing as a child.

2. Anxious attachment--someone with this attachment style has a deep fear of abandonment. They seek constant love and reassurance. They can be overly smothering. They panic easily and they feel overly responsible for everyone and everything. They feel a personal sense of failure if their child is struggling, and tend to micromanage their children. A person with anxious attachment style was most likely given inconsistent love and care. Their emotional needs were sometimes tended to, and other times rejected or dismissed.

3.Avoidant attachment--someone with avoidant attachment seeks to escape conflicts or arguments in the relationship. They are scared to show emotion or affection because they are scared of being rejected or neglected. They tend to withdraw from both intimacy and arguments for fear of not being accepted by their spouse. A person with avoidant attachment most likely did not have their emotional needs met. They were either ignored from expressing their feelings or discouraged from showing emotion. They did not have a place to safely express themselves, be heard, and be shown love and affection.

4. Disorganized attachment--someone with disorganized attachment has a push/pull dynamic. They intensely crave closeness, but once someone gets close, they immediately push them away because real intimacy is scary for them. They are highly emotional, have a heightened fear of abandonment (possibly to an extreme), and they are very reactive. They have difficulty self-soothing, and they tend to attract chaos in relationships. Disorganized attachment develops as the result of trauma in childhood.

Dr. Marnee explains how each of these attachment styles shows up in marriage and parenting. She assures us that attachment style is not set in stone for life. You can change your attachment style by becoming aware of what your attachment style is, and working to emotionally regulate yourself so that you can think clearly and respond appropriately to the people and situations in your life.

If you would like Dr. Marnee's free e-book on 4 Tips To Reduce Anxiety in Your Teen, please email me at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

For families interested in Dr. Marnee's program, it is called Break the Anxiety Cycle. https://breakanxietycycle.com/

Dr. Marnee Firestone & Tamar Opp enheimer, LCSW, help parents of anxious teens by teaching them effective and practical strategies that are proven to support teens in building confidence, empowering them to pursue their goals, and ultimately bringing a sense of calm to stressed households. As we approach summer, many parents of anxious teens are searching for ways to reset and prepare their families for a better school year ahead. Break the Anxiety Cycle is a structured, parent-based program created to help families disrupt the patterns that unintentionally reinforce anxiety. Rather than placing the full burden on the teen, this program empowers parents with tools to create real change at home—reducing reactivity, rebuilding connection, and promoting resilience. This summer window—about 12 weeks—is an ideal time for families to slow down, reset dynamics, and implement new strategies without the pressure of daily school stress.


Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

When you live your life with joy and calm, you can think more clearly and make better decisions.

Beverly Chimes is a social worker and a life coach with more than 20 years of experience. She is an expert at helping people untangle complex situations and relationships so that they can take care of their inner world and show up for themselves, and for others, with more ease.

In this lively conversation, Beverly teaches us how to avoid overwhelm and burnout.

The first thing that Beverly recommends to do is to take a few breaks in your day ON PURPOSE. Use those breaks to truly refresh you. Put your device down; no electronics. Have a snack while looking out the window. Step outside for 5 minutes to get a breath of fresh air. Sip on your iced coffee or drink a delicious glass of water while giving your brain and eyes a break from whatever it is that you were doing. Take this break on purpose, with a purpose--to clear your mind from chaos and allow it to relax and be calm.

The second thing that Beverly advises is to create joy ON PURPOSE. Identify a few things that you really enjoy doing (yoga, walking in nature, taking an art class, shopping, etc.) and schedule it into your calendar for a set day and time so that you can look forward to it. The more joyful things that you can regularly schedule for yourself, the better. When we do things in our lives that bring us joy, we become happier people. When we are happier, are thoughts become clear and our emotions begin to regulate and become balanced.

In order to further enhance our emotional regulation, we need to understand that thoughts create feelings/emotions, and those feelings/emotions create our actions. We act based off our feelings/emotions. If our emotions are not regulated, we tend to become explosive, rageful, anxious, and sad. We need to look at is what is actually happening before we become dysregulated. What thoughts were we having? What did those thoughts cause us to do? Quite often we have a narrative of our story playing and replaying in our minds every day; this could be things that happened in childhood, negative messages and limited beliefs. If we are thinking, and therefore living, from that negative place, we can't expect ourselves to emotionally regulate and we can't expect ourselves to be happy. In order to become emotionally regulated and happy, we need to work with someone to understand where our thoughts and limiting beliefs are coming from, and then discard those that no longer serve us.

To contact Beverly, visit her website: https://www.beverlychimes.com/

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail. com

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

Rebbetzin Chavi Welton, and her husband, Rabbi Levi Welton, were recently appointed shluchim (emissaries) for Chabad of Vanderbilt Alumni Association, working with your professionals in Manhattan. They will also be going on shlichus to Dix Hills, Long Island in New York, to help enhance outreach activities of the Chai Center, under the leadership of Rabbi Yakov Saacks. In addition to her spiritual work, Rebbetzin Chavi is also an OB-Gyn doctor!

Rebbetzin Chavi teaches us that childbirth has a very strong connection to Chasidus. She explains that according to Basi L'Gani, a Chassidic discourse written by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, the Jewish people are recognized as Hashem's bride, just like the woman is the bride to her husband, the chassan. Their purpose in this world is to elevate the mundane to the spiritual.

In terms of having a baby, the woman experiences a physical pregnancy and childbirth. She nurses, changes diapers, bathes, and provides necessary physical care for her infant. Spiritually, the Shechina is the feminine presence of Hashem (G-d.) Making a sacred space in our world for the Shechina to rest is a very feminine task. This is done by the woman as she raises her child to observe Hashem's commandments, and therefore elevates the physical to the spiritual, bringing holiness into the world.
The geula (coming of Moshiach--the Messiah) is often compared to childbirth. As the woman gets closer to actually birthing her child, her contractions get quicker and she experiences the most pain and discomfort. Similarly, as we get closer to Moshiach being revealed, the Jewish people are experiencing various forms of severe suffering (hostages, war, anxiety, emotional disorders, lack of shalom bayis, etc.) May Moshiah come soon so that we can experience true pleasure and peace!

Rebbetzin Chavi teaches us something very interesting about the word Caesar. The word, Caesar, means to cut. Thousands of years ago, Julius Caesar's grandfather was delivered by someone cutting his great grand-mother's stomach open to pull out the baby. This name, Caesar, stuck to future generations of the family.

Caesar was a leader. A leader does what no one else can do. When they need something to happen, they will go to all lengths and extremes, literally breaking down walls (both physical and metaphorical) to make it happen. When a woman delivers a baby via Caesarian Section (C-Section), the doctor literally breaks down a wall (the mother's stomach) to take out the baby. Spiritually, it is said that the women will bring Moshiach by 'breaking down walls' in their dedication to Hashem, keeping the mitzvos of the Torah, and raising children who act justly and morally, bringing Hashem's light into the world.

Rebbetzin Chavi goes on to speak about pregnancy and the post-partum period of childbirth, and shares insights as to how the chasidic perspective can enhance a woman's experiences in these phases of her life.

She also talks about the role that Chasidus plays in her job as a doctor and in her interactions with her patients. What resonated with me the most is the way she lives her life in total alignment with her Chasidic values and beliefs. She is an example of a righteous and wise Chasidic woman, and she conducts herself as such in the hospital with her patients. Leading by example, instead of forcing her beliefs on others, allows people to have the space to absorb her teachings and mannerisms, and to emulate them, if they choose to do so, out of their own accord.

Conact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

There is a narcissism pandemic in our world. For those who are in relationships with narcissists--whether it's your boyfriend/husband, mother/father, sibling, or in-law, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not easy. There is real pain and struggle.

In this eye-opening and truly informative interview with Rikki Jacobson Davies, we learn how to identify the telltale signs of a narcissist, and how to best navigate our relationship with them. Rikki is the clinical director and founder of the Center for Relational Resilience. She is passionate about helping people heal from relational trauma with clarity, truth and resilience. A private clinician and sought after lecturer, Rikki has developed a unique approach to healing from complicated, confusing, and painful relationships.

To start off, we need to recognize that being in a relationship with a narcissist falls into the category of relational trauma, which is trauma in the context of a close relationship. (This is different from trauma someone might have sustained that came from a more distant relationship, like a teacher, a community member, or a stranger.)

So, how do you actually know if your husband (or other family member) is a narcissist? Here is a deeper understanding of what a narcissist really is. A narcissist is a person who has a severely under developed sense of self; their basic emotional core is missing. This is a person who has an extremely fragile ego and needs another person to constantly validate them, appreciate them, see them hear them, focus on their needs exclusively, and build them up continuously because they can't do that for themselves. They are pre-occupied with validating and affirming their own existence and that they matter. Since they are very insecure, they will do anything they can to get their emotional sustenance from other people.
Other people's focus needs to be on them and their wants and needs all the time in order for them to feel good about themselves. Their insecurity comes from a lack of a strong sense of self.

They will manipulate and intimidate until they get their way. One tactic of manipulation is love bombing--flooding someone with a lot of love and loving gestures to either bring them into a relationship initially, or pull them back into the relationship when they try to leave.

While most people develop their sense of self as young children, narcissists seemed to skip that step due to circumstances in their early childhood years that prevented normal inner growth and development. While people don't enjoy being criticized, a healthy person can take critique, learn from it and grow from it without throwing a temper tantrum or flying into a rage. Criticism to a narcissist is like kryptonite to a narcissist. They avoid criticism at all costs because their fragile ego simply cannot handle it.

So what can we do? How can we deal with the narcissist in our lives? According to Rikki, people to set aside their own personal finances so that they feel as financially secure as possible, in case they need to leave the relationship, so that they don't have to rely on the narcissist for money.

Rikki also encourages us to get support from family and friends. We need to find our people--those who will listen to us, encourage us, and stand by us. When we build relationships with friends and family who envelop us with love and positivity, we build a life for ourselves outside of our relationship with the narcissist. We can still be happy and whole people who are in a relationship that did not go the way they dreamed.

Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave, YOU have your own innate value and worth that has nothing to do with the narcissist. You can have a beautiful life despite of your relationship. There is a lot of hope for personal fulfillment.

You can reach Rikki through her website: www.relationalresilience.com

You can also email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

Are you in a confusing relationship? This type of relationship most often occurs within families. It could be with your husband, mother, father, sister, in-laws, or even with your extended family.

Is there someone who intentionally or unintentionally gaslights you or sends you mixed messages, causing you to doubt your self-worth, your values or core beliefs?

Maybe you have a parent who consistently invalidates your feelings? Or perhaps you have a husband who doesn't move toward your bid to connect? Their behavior isn't outwardly 'out to get you,' but it makes you start to question yourself, your feelings, and how you experience the world. Their behavior causes you to doubt yourself, and think that maybe there is something wrong with you. It might even be making you feel guilty for something that is not your fault.

If you are in a confusing relationship, you might be managing other people's behavior in order to protect yourself...and you are also managing your own reactions so as not to agitate other people's emotions. This can be exhausting!

Also, did you know that people can exhibit self-centered narcissistic behavior without actually having a narcissistic disorder?

In this truly insightful conversation with Shev Simon, an IFS (Internal Family Systems Practitioner), she sheds lights on confusing relationships so that women make sense of their experiences and show up in life with more calm and ease.

For more information and to schedule a chat with Shev, you can reach her here:
Website: shevsimoncoaching.com
Facebook: https://ww w.facebook.com/shev.simon.9

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

'We died a thousand deaths before we were murdered,' is the stand out quote from today's conversation with Rebbetzin Lisa Cook, rebbetzin of the Cincinnati Jewish Experience (CJX). This quote says it all!

Rebbetzin Lisa is teaches mikvah education to Jewish women of all backgrounds and levels, works as a mikvah attendant at the Cincinnati community mikvah, is part of the Cincy chevra kadisha, and is currently in the 3rd cohort of the Core MMC Program led by Rebbetzins Aliza Bulow, Debbie Greenblatt, and Rochel Goldbaum.

One of the aspects of her job that Rebbetzin Lisa is most passionate about is taking people on trips to Poland, where they experience what life was like for the Jews of Poland before, during, and after the Holocaust. Rebbetzin Lisa's groups visit concentration camps, such as Treblinka and Auschwitz, cemetaries such as the Warsaw Cemetary, and other historical sites like the Warsaw Ghetto and Bialystok.

The men and women who participate in these trips are not just learning about Jewish history in Poland, they are experiencing the sites and the stories first hand. They are standing in the same places where their ancestors stood, just a few decades ago. They hear stories of what pre-war Poland was like, from the Polish people themselves--Jews and non-Jews alike. This experience is incredibly personal and life-changing for many.

Kosher food is provided for the people on the trip, as they are deeply affected, inspired, awed and empowered by what they are witnessing.

If you would like to participate in a Poland Experience trip with Rebbetzin Lisa, please contact me, and I will put you in touch with her. I can be reached via email at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/

'How can you expect your husband to treat you like a woman when you don't act like one?' This is a quote that was shared with us during our interesting conversation on Hasidic Feminism.

Chava Green, an educator, writer, and public speaker, has a PhD in Religion from Emory, where she wrote her dissertation on Hasidic Feminism.

Chava explains that secular feminism focuses on the equality of men and women. The differences between them seem to have been erased. There is a notion that women can, and should, do everything that men can do.

In contrast, Hasidic feminism believes that there is, in fact, a difference between men and women. Women and men have different roles, but the importance of those roles is equal. It's not that one gender is better or more powerful than the other. Rather, men and women work together and each of their roles are necessary and also complementary to each other.

Women create the holiness and sanctity of the home through their bina yeseira--their deep understanding of what's happening under the surface. They are able to nurture their families from a different place than men. They have access to a softer place of connection and wisdom of what needs to be done--more than what meets the eye. Women function beyond the surface to see actual reality, which is not always the way it presents itself. The power and glory of a woman is what is within her. She accepts what is, and elevates it.

Chava shares the concept that men are the givers and women are the receivers. Women don't have to do it all. They don't need to have the masculine energy of pushing forward and accomplishing and getting things done. If women feel overwhelmed, they should daven to Hashem (G-d) to help them become a receiver. We need to look for Hashem in every situation.

Chava encourages women to be their whole feminine selves!

To hear more from Dr. Chava Green check out her website at https://thehasidicfeminist.wordpress.com/ or sign up for her monthly newsletter on all things Jewish and gender related, https://the-hasidic-feminist.kit.com/16d7257907

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker.
Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:
https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/