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Ever caught yourself saying "I should" before tackling a task, only to feel immediate resistance? That simple word reveals volumes about our emotional landscape and often keeps us trapped in patterns of guilt and judgment.

Our language gives profound clues about what's happening beneath the surface, with "should" being one of the clearest signals that we're operating from obligation rather than choice.

These patterns typically originate in childhood when our lives were structured by external authorities telling us what to do, when to do it, and how to behave in various situations.

The path to freedom begins with awareness. By noticing when we use "should" language, we can investigate whose voice is really speaking. Is it truly our own, or are we hearing echoes of parents, teachers, or social expectations from years ago?

Ready to stop "shoulding" all over yourself? Listen now and discover practical strategies to transform obligation into choice, discomfort into growth, and limitation into freedom.

Share your own experience with breaking free from "shoulds" in the comments and subscribe for more conversations about forging resilience in everyday challenges.

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What drives us to persevere through challenges?

How can we find meaning in the struggle?

And why do some high achievers reach their goals only to feel empty?

My friend Dr. Nick Wadsworth returns to dive deep into the intricate relationship between meaning, authenticity, and purpose. As a chartered sports psychologist working with elite athletes and a co-founder of MAP Performance, Nick brings profound insights into how we can unlock our potential while honoring our true selves.

This conversation explores the fascinating paradox of human performance. Nick reveals how authenticity forms the foundation upon which meaningful experiences and purposeful action can flourish. Through powerful stories of Olympic medalists who found gold medals empty yet silver medals fulfilling, we discover how achievement without meaning leads nowhere.

Perhaps most valuable is Nick's perspective on anxiety and fear. Rather than seeing these emotions as obstacles to overcome, he reframes them as natural companions on any growth journey. "I'd be concerned if you weren't anxious," he notes, challenging the common assumption that discomfort signals something wrong rather than something right.

The episode offers practical insights for anyone navigating performance environments, whether in sport, business, or personal development. Nick shares how our past experiences shape our current beliefs, how simple acts of self-expression can transform our experience, and why connecting to something larger than ourselves fuels perseverance through inevitable challenges.

For leaders, coaches, and individuals alike, this conversation provides a blueprint for creating environments where people can flourish authentically while pursuing excellence. Because as Nick observes, the modern workforce—and indeed modern humans—increasingly demand purpose beyond performance and meaning beyond metrics.

Join us for this enlightening exploration of what it truly means to perform with purpose and find fulfillment in the journey, not just the destination.

Find Nick on LinkedIn

MAP Website

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

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Ever found yourself waiting to feel confident before taking that important step? You're not alone. The myth of confidence keeps countless people stuck in perpetual preparation mode, forever postponing meaningful conversations, career moves, and personal growth.

What I've discovered—both personally and through coaching clients like "Dave"—is that we've been thinking about confidence all wrong. Confidence isn't something we need before taking action; it's what naturally develops after we've shown up consistently. It's not a feeling to chase but a byproduct of courage.

In this episode, I break down the crucial difference between confidence (which is really just competence) and self-confidence (the understanding that outcomes don't define us). Dave's story illustrates how building a body of evidence from past experiences where we've acted despite fear creates a foundation for taking courageous steps in other areas of life.

The key insight? Courage means accepting all emotions—fear, nervousness, uncertainty—without letting them dictate our actions. These feelings don't signal a lack of confidence; they confirm our humanity. By acknowledging them while still moving forward, we discover that confidence emerges naturally through the process.

Whether it's having difficult conversations, sending postponed emails, or launching that podcast you've been planning, remember: confidence isn't the prerequisite for action—it's the reward you get after taking it.

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

And don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

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Have you ever received feedback that hit you like a punch to the gut? That's exactly what happened to Johnny Bevan, the Police Stress and Burnout Coach, when his new sergeant criticised his time management skills—ironically, one of the areas where Johnny coaches others.

In this conversation, Johnny reveals the shame that surfaced beneath his initial defensive reaction, stemming from a core belief that he wasn't "good enough." With remarkable vulnerability, he walks us through his real-time process of navigating these difficult emotions, separating thoughts from facts, and transforming criticism into an opportunity for growth.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is Johnny's commitment to work-life balance in a profession notorious for burnout. After nearly burning out multiple times during his police career, Johnny developed clear boundaries and priorities—saying no to non-urgent tasks and after-work socials to protect time with his family. Now, his healthy approach is being challenged by workplace expectations, presenting a perfect crucible for testing his resilience practices.

Johnny shares practical wisdom on distinguishing between guilt ("I've done something wrong") and shame ("I am wrong"), finding compassion for yourself in difficult moments, and connecting personal struggles to a greater purpose. His journey demonstrates that emotional resilience isn't about avoiding difficult feelings but learning to navigate them with awareness and self-compassion.

Whether you're facing criticism at work, struggling with people-pleasing tendencies, or simply interested in building greater emotional resilience, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical strategies. Johnny's story reminds us that our greatest challenges often become our greatest teachers—if we're willing to stay open to the lessons.

Subscribe to Forging Resilience for more conversations that challenge conventional thinking about strength and leadership, and help you develop resilience in all areas of life.

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

And don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

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Have you ever noticed how resistance to uncomfortable feelings can keep you stuck in patterns that no longer serve you?

Prompted by feedback from mentors and colleagues, I explore the transformative power of acceptance - not as passive resignation, but as an active choice to create space for honest self-awareness.

Through the lens of my own public speaking journey, which started with a splash when in childhood I experienced wetting myself on stage at nine years old, I reveal how avoiding our discomfort often prevents growth more effectively than any external obstacle.

The real transformation comes through a simple but powerful framework: awareness forms the foundation, acceptance builds the middle, and action completes the pyramid. Most of us instinctively jump from awareness straight to action, missing the crucial acceptance step that allows for grounded, intentional response rather than reactivity. This missing piece explains why we often find ourselves stuck in loops of frustration, anger, and avoidance.

Whether you're facing challenges in your career, relationships, or personal growth, this episode offers practical questions to develop greater acceptance: "What's happening for me right now?", "What aspects are within my control?", and "What small, aligned step can I take forward?" Join me in exploring how accepting our reality - without necessarily liking it - creates the foundation for meaningful change and authentic leadership.

Ready to transform your relationship with discomfort?

Listen now, and if this resonates with your experience, I'd love to connect and continue the conversation.

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

And don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

Follow my social media accounts | LinkedIn | Instagram |

Click here for my monthly newsletter, mix of insights, reflections and questions. To share with other driven people like you, for your own insights and application.

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Dean Stott didn't grow up dreaming of joining special forces he wanted to be a fireman. Yet a chance conversation with his father redirected his path, leading to 16 remarkable years in the military, including his time with the elite Special Boat Service (SBS).

When a devastating parachuting accident abruptly ended Dean's military career, he faced the identity crisis familiar to many veterans: "What is my role? What is my purpose? How do I now fit in society?" His answer came through physical challenges that would test the limits of human endurance. With minimal cycling experience, Dean set off to conquer the Pan-American Highway – a 14,000-mile journey from Argentina to Alaska that he completed in an astounding 99 days, breaking the world record while raising nearly £1 million for mental health charities.

Throughout our conversation, Dean reveals powerful insights about managing pressure, finding motivation when traditional sources of identity disappear, and the unexpected ways we discover purpose. His exploration of plant medicine for addressing underlying mental health issues offers a fascinating glimpse into evolving approaches to healing, particularly within veteran communities. "The plant medicine is the easiest part," he explains. "It's the work afterwards – the integration phase – that matters most."

What makes this episode particularly compelling is how Dean's extraordinary experiences illuminate universal truths about resilience. Whether facing a life-altering injury, a challenging transition, or simply the pressure to constantly surpass your previous achievements, Dean's journey demonstrates how physical challenges can become pathways to mental fortitude. His story reminds us that resilience isn't about avoiding falls – it's about discovering new ways to rise each time we do.

Join us for this fascinating exploration of human potential and discover how Dean's journey from special forces to world record holder offers wisdom for anyone navigating life's inevitable transitions.

Connect with Dean on Instagram

Dean's website

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

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What if toxic workplaces aren't the exception, but the rule? Leadership psychologist Professor Nigel McLennan delivers a sobering reality check about workplace toxicity that will resonate with anyone who's ever felt trapped in a harmful work environment.

McLennan introduces us to the "toxic tetrad"—sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists, and Machiavellians—who create psychologically harmful workplaces while masterfully presenting positive public personas. These toxic leaders excel at appearing productive while causing untold damage to those beneath them. Most troubling? They're experts at identifying and punishing whistleblowers who dare speak truth to power.

The harsh reality? Sometimes the only way to truly thrive is to leave. With approximately 97% of whistleblowers suffering life-changing detriment and little legal protection, McLennan acknowledges that our current systems often reward silence over integrity. Yet understanding these dynamics is the first step toward protecting yourself and, eventually, creating healthier workplace cultures.

Nigel's website PSY Perform

Or connect with him on LinkedIn

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

And don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

Follow my social media accounts | LinkedIn | Instagram |

Click here for my monthly newsletter, mix of insights, reflections and questions. To share with other driven people like you, for your own insights and application.

Send us a text

What happens to resilience when the uniform comes off? This profound question lies at the heart of my conversation with James Elliott, a former British Airborne Forces soldier whose journey from the battlefield to Harley Street offers unique insights.

Through his work with elite athletes, special forces, and cancer patients, he's discovered that resilience isn't about suppressing emotions or "toughing it out" – it's about developing a robust sense of self that transcends external roles and circumstances.

Our discussion takes a provocative turn when James explains why the military recruits from disadvantaged backgrounds. Contrary to the belief that "council estate kids are tougher," he argues that vulnerability makes individuals more psychologically malleable – easier to shape into effective soldiers. This pattern creates a dependency where purpose, identity, and belonging become inextricably tied to military service, leaving many veterans struggling when that structure disappears.

James advocates for a proactive approach to transition: "Find a sense of who you are outside the uniform while you're still in it." His personal journey exemplifies this philosophy, from working with rugby players as a strength coach to pursuing multiple academic degrees. He's become, in his words, "the very version of myself that I needed as a child."

Perhaps most powerfully, James challenges us to define ourselves beyond what we do. When he asks clients "Who are you?" many respond with roles and titles – things that could be taken away. True resilience, he suggests, comes from knowing your essential qualities and values that remain regardless of circumstance.

Whether you're navigating a military transition, career change, or personal reinvention, this episode offers transformative insights into building lasting resilience through self-knowledge, emotional intelligence, and continuous growth. As James reminds us: "A master is an individual who has failed at every possible eventuality in a very limited subject."

James's book "Think Yourself Resilient" is available on Amazon and in Waterstones. His new Patreon "The Vault" launches March 31st with regular content sharing his expertise on resilience and mental performance.

Connect with James through his website.

Or LinkedIn.

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If you found value in today’s episode, it would mean the world if you could take a moment to leave us a review.

Your feedback helps us grow and reach more people looking to build their own resilience.

And don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

Follow my social media accounts | LinkedIn | Instagram |

Click here for my monthly newsletter, mix of insights, reflections and questions. To share with other driven people like you, for your own insights and application.