BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 5
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
When the universe defaults on its existential loans, who better to foreclose the apocalypse than the Windowpuncher, Tyson Dawes?
Dearth Conglomerate is plummeting in market value, and Kraken is no more. But not all threats have been extinguished. Thanks to the rising threat of the Sleem, the whole multiverse is in danger. Desperate for a cosmic bailout, the Church calls for a financial crusade. Meanwhile, Molls and her family fall into a whole mess of market shock and face futures unknown.
With Storage under threat of hostile foreclosure, the universe faced with Sleem saturation, and Silken Sands spread thinly over too many areas of opportunity, has BuyMort found its final market victor?
From the elastic supply of the Church's Inquisition auditing Silken Sands to a climactic battle with ROI (that's Return on Incineration, by the way) so low it crashes all markets, this is one fiscal year you won't want to miss.
Get ready for a hostile takeover of epic proportions. In BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem, the end isn't nigh—it's been leveraged, securitized, and is ready to liquidate. Say your prayers and check your credit score because when the celestial ledger closes, you'll want to make sure your cosmic assets are diversified.
©2023 Joseph Phelps, Damien Hanson (P)2024 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Made in America
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: William Roberts
- Length: 18 hrs and 10 mins
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In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
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A great but weird book
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Ten years ago, Amelia woke up alone and lost in a broken world where she had to fight for her survival. Now, after reaching the pinnacle of power, defeating the Void itself, and escaping the abyss, she has finally found her way back into the real world. But instead of returning to Earth, she arrives in the land of Vacuos. A fantasy world with magic, monsters, Classes, and Levels. A world that is governed by a System like it were a video game.
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Choosing a college when your family is struggling can be difficult, but it isn’t supposed to be world ending. And the falling meteor is seriously limiting Matt’s options. Now in the aftermath, his home city is locked down by a mysterious dome, corporations are looking to monopolize a wealth of new untapped resources, and people are suddenly developing powers via a System that seems to have borderline sinister intentions. In the chaos, Matt decides to stick to what he knows: use his stealth class to adapt and survive.
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Too much psycobabel.
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Marc's home from college on break, spending his time laughing about some of the crazy news stories he's found online, and gaming. When a message appears in his line of sight, blocking out absolutely everything else, he nearly freaks out. The message warns that the world has been in a variant Natural Laws beta test for millennia and that it's about to revert to the norms.
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Awkward. Painful. A choir.
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A great but weird book
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Ten years ago, Amelia woke up alone and lost in a broken world where she had to fight for her survival. Now, after reaching the pinnacle of power, defeating the Void itself, and escaping the abyss, she has finally found her way back into the real world. But instead of returning to Earth, she arrives in the land of Vacuos. A fantasy world with magic, monsters, Classes, and Levels. A world that is governed by a System like it were a video game.
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Awkward. Painful. A choir.
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First Line of Defense
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Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.
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3.5 stars
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Shattered Dreams
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Max wanted to be a [Baker]. Settle down, bake stuff, and enjoy life. The gods, however, ruined that dream. Given [Baker] and a rare black skill, he is now running for his life, trying to grow strong enough to return home. Now, Max must find a way to grow strong enough to survive the people and the god hunting him.
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First time narrator?
- By Ben heggem on 08-31-24
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Rune Seeker
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Story
Hiral is the Everfail, the weakest person on the flying island of Fallen Reach. He trains harder than any warrior. Studies longer than any scholar. But all his people are born with magic powered by the sun, flowing through tattoos on their bodies. Despite having enormous energy within, Hiral is the only one who can’t channel it; his hard work is worth nothing. Until it isn’t. In a moment of danger, Hiral unlocks an achievement with a special instruction: Access a Dungeon to receive a Class-Specific Reward.
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Poor
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Forge Master
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Ascending should have been the easy part. But after being thrown into the void, Thorn finds himself stranded in a strange world filled with even stranger creatures. Together with his cute battle pet, the mysterious god beast Hati, and a sentient AI named Eve, Thorn must forge a place for himself in this new world. Unfortunately, the local guilds all have other ideas, and soon the Titan finds himself embroiled in plots that even his famed strength cannot help him with.
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NOT THE FIRST BOOK
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Dead Tired I
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In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
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could have been awesome...
- By Resowo on 01-17-24
By: RavensDagger
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Speedrunning the Multiverse
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Overall
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Story
Behold the Multiverse! Its countless realms overflow with terrific opportunities and terrible dangers—warring sects, priceless treasures, martial techniques, and all manner of horrible monsters abound. And Dorian has conquered them all. He’s a Godking—one of the most powerful creatures to ever exist. And as he sits from his throne at the literal summit of the world, bored out of his mind, one question comes to mind: what now? Do it all again, of course! But faster.
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I only got about 5 hours in
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Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
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When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
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The Plot Armor is Unreal
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Induction
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Overall
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Performance
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Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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the main characters annoying to a degree
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-23
By: Sean Oswald
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The Daily Grind: A Slice-of-Life LitRPG
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Working as overnight tech support, James Lyle has long said he’d do anything to escape the boredom. But his commitment to excitement is tested when a slight coincidence one shift sends him to a different part of his office building . . . and he discovers a stairwell that contains not stairs but rather a landscape of seemingly infinite cubicles against a distant horizon. Unwilling (and unable) to stay away, James and a few of his trusted friends begin to explore this endless maze of supernatural business ennui.
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Lack of Pacing
- By Aaron Patridge on 10-24-23
By: Argus
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I Am the GOAT
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After he died, conman Jake thought he made a good deal with the System. Turns out, the System swindled him. He woke up in an upside-down world with four furry legs and the powers of a mind-warping necromancer at his hoof tips. Humans are the servants, farm animals are the demon masters, and amid the mayhem, Jake finds meaning in his new life. Building out a barnyard kingdom and ritualizing the remains of his foes makes for some pretty sweet fire-breathing abilities.
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Awesome!
- By Texas on 10-01-24
By: Marc Mulero
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One More Last Time
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- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He thought it was the end, and his gun sat ready to make sure. But an oddball offer from his last friend comes at the literal last second. Curiosity gets the best of him, and he finds himself sucked into iNcarn8, a game claiming to be a whole new life. Now, as Montana, the larger-than-life tank warrior, he has one more last time to get his life right.
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ignore the short read time
- By Thomas bankston on 07-13-19
By: Eric Ugland
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Apocalypse: Generic System
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- By: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jeb Trapper tried to kill himself. The gun jammed. Two months later, the vet is now participating in underground trials of ecstasy to treat his PTSD. Everything seems to be going great until Jeb is teleported into a tutorial, along with everyone else on Earth. Now, he has to choose the level of difficulty. There's just one problem: He's high as a kite, and nothing seems impossible.
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It was great, till the end
- By Donovan Mullen on 08-23-21
By: Macronomicon
What listeners say about BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mark Metz
- 08-11-24
lots of action, character development, andvworld building.
the rise of a homeless trailer park caretaker in late stage capitalism on a multiversal scale.
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- Benjamin R. Murphy
- 05-24-24
its good
narrator does a good job. the story is pretty entertaining also. waiting for the next one.
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- Kyle y.
- 08-02-24
I love the concept and narration
I’m not to good at this but I love this entire series well narrated and sucked me in every time
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- Dana B Bradley
- 04-12-24
Amazing
Such a great addition to the series, Garfield reference is hilarious… I cannot wait for the next one
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 04-19-24
Buy More
This series keeps getting better. Can’t wait for the next installment of the great series.
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- jennifer
- 04-29-24
amazing butt kicking goodness.
From book number one to book number five it has been nonstop butt kicking action. Every time I think it can't get more action packed it does.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-11-24
Another solid entry into the series
this has quickly become one of my favorite series. Seeing all the characters grow from how they initially struggled is great. I'm a bit concerned about where the MC will go from here but if handled right I think we're in for some very compelling story telling to watch him struggle with he has become and what he's doing should be neat
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- swyrlgirl
- 12-07-24
Whoa!
What a ride! Creative and smart world building with humor and cultural references. I hope this series continues because the MC has heart and brains. A reluctant leader. Well read and written.
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- Crystal Hayden
- 04-16-24
Non-stop action
Absolutely awesome!!! I love the whole shopocalypse. Wayne Mitchell beings the characters to life as the should be. Especially the warlord. I can't wait to see how Tyson brings down the church. I would highly recommend this whole series.
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- Wesley Sramek
- 05-25-24
So good, engaging
So so very worth the credit! 15 word minimum get me out of here. Seriously more words?
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