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Narrated by:
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Jeff Bower
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By:
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Andersen Prunty
About this listen
This darkly offbeat novel opens with the narrator, Wallace Black, as the target of the school bully's violence. After suffering a horrendous beating, Black goes home to his equally abusive family. As a punishment for fighting at school, his mother straps a set of grotesque horns to the top of his head. He is unsure of where the horns came from. They have always been in the house. And they contain a power no one could have expected.
Let Andersen Prunty (Zerostrata, Morning Is Dead, and The Beard) guide you through a sometimes hilarious, sometimes violent and terrifying coming-of-age Midwestern gothic novel.
©2011 Andersen Prunty (P)2013 Andersen PruntyListeners also enjoyed...
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Performance
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This is a vehicle for listening. We don’t need music
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A star-studded cast of readers present unabridged tales of horror and suspense from Stephen King's classic best-selling short story collection.
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Great short stories!!
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The Regulators
- By: Stephen King
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Peaceful suburbia on Poplar Street in Wentworth, Ohio, takes a turn for the ugly when four vans containing armed "regulators" terrorize the street's residents, cold-bloodedly killing anyone foolish enough to step outside their homes. Houses mysteriously transform into log cabins, and the street now ends in what looks like a child's hand-drawn Western landscape. Masterminding this sudden onslaught is the evil creature Tak, who has taken over the body of an autistic eight-year-old boy, Seth Garin.
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Frank Muller was the best
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The Lost Kings
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Jeanie’s whole world is turned upside down. Not only has she lost her beloved brother, but with no family left in Washington, she is ripped from everything she knows, including Maddox, the boy she could be learning to love. Twenty years later, Jeanie is in England. She keeps her demons at bay by drinking too much, sleeping with a married man, and speaking to a therapist she doesn’t respect. But her old life catches up to her when Maddox reappears, claiming to have tracked down her dad.
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WTH did I just listen too!
- By F. on 09-06-23
By: Tyrell Johnson
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John Dies at the End
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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Harry Wilkes is plagued by visions - images of murdered bodies and violent assaults - that are triggered by everyday noises. The smallest noise can trigger a vision of violence from the past; it doesn't matter how long ago it took place. Since childhood he's fought to suppress these visions, and he has changed his habits in order to avoid the nightmares. But when he rescues a drunk from a bar fight, he makes a life-long friend who will help him learn how to use his strange ability to his advantage
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Not great but good
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Can humanity Survive what it never saw coming? On October 15 at 2:15 a.ms Earth vanished. A scattered few woke alone in a world with no rules, other than survival at any cost. A journalist wanders the wretched reality of an empty New York, searching for his wife and son. A serial killer must hunt in a land where prey is now an endangered species. A mother shields her young daughter from danger through every terror-filled breath.
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Idk how it got such rave reviews!? horrible!!
- By Kate+4 on 05-26-18
By: Sean Platt, and others
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Darling Days
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- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
Related to this topic
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The Stand
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This is the way the world ends: with a nanosecond of computer error in a Defense Department laboratory and a million casual contacts that form the links in a chain letter of death. And here is the bleak new world of the day after: a world stripped of its institutions and emptied of 99 percent of its people. A world in which a handful of panicky survivors choose sides - or are chosen.
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There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
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On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
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Of Mice and Minestrone
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Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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Wringing every last drop
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One of Us
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Maxwell Hamilton
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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A startlingly remarkable novel set in 1984 where a group of teenagers begin to discover powerful secrets about themselves, and learn that the only way to create their own future is to break away from previous generations.They call it the plague. A generation of children born with extreme genetic mutations. They call it a home. But it's a place of neglect and forced labor. They call him a freak. But Dog is just a boy who wants to be treated as normal. They call them dangerous. They might be right.
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Not Bad...
- By NikiLow723 on 07-24-18
By: Craig DiLouie
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The Funhouse
- By: Dean Koontz
- Narrated by: Karen Peakes
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Once there was a girl who ran away and joined a traveling carnival. She married a man she grew to hate - and gave birth to a child she could never love. A child so monstrous that she killed it with her own hands.… Twenty-five years later, Ellen Harper has a new life, a new husband, and two normal children - Joey loves monster movies, and Amy is about to graduate from high school. But their mother drowns her secret guilt in alcohol and prayer.
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Early, not so good, Koontz
- By Michael on 02-15-15
By: Dean Koontz
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The Art of Starving
- By: Sam J. Miller
- Narrated by: Tom Phelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.
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Transformative book!
- By Uno Person on 01-01-20
By: Sam J. Miller
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Rocky River Bridge
- A Grower's War Prequel
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Two young boys set off for the Rocky River Bridge through their war-torn North Carolina hometown, both with something to prove - an adventure that will quickly teach them the realities of the raging world around them, in this prequel to DJ Molles' newest novel: The Purge of District 89.
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Molles In The High Castle
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-12-17
By: D. J. Molles
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Zombies: More Recent Dead
- By: Neil Gaiman, Carrie Vaughn, Caitlin R. Kiernan, and others
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt, Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 20 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
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A well blended mix
- By The Lone Mopper on 07-30-15
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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The Apocalypse Boxed Set Novels 1-3
- The Undead World Series
- By: Peter Meredith
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 42 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Greed, terrorism, and simple bad luck conspire to bring mankind to its knees as a viral infection spreads out of control, reducing those infected to undead horrors that feed upon the rest. It's a time of misery and death for most, however there are some who are lucky, some who are ruthless, and some who are just too damned tough to go down without a fight. This is their story.
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Worst writing and VO in HISTORY
- By kd on 11-25-20
By: Peter Meredith
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NOS4A2
- A Novel
- By: Joe Hill
- Narrated by: Kate Mulgrew
- Length: 19 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Victoria McQueen has an uncanny knack for finding things: a misplaced bracelet, a missing photograph, answers to unanswerable questions. When she rides her bicycle over the rickety old covered bridge in the woods near her house, she always emerges in the places she needs to be. Vic doesn't tell anyone about her unusual ability, because she knows no one will believe her. She has trouble understanding it herself.
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Gripping performance by Kate Mulgrew....
- By Leslie on 05-06-13
By: Joe Hill
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The Taqwacores
- By: Michael Muhammad Knight
- Narrated by: Shahjehan Khan
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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A Muslim punk house in Buffalo, New York, inhabited by burqa-wearing riot girls, mohawked Sufis, straight-edge Sunnis, Shi'a skinheads, Indonesian skaters, Sudanese rude boys, gay Muslims, drunk Muslims, and feminists. Their living room hosts parties and prayers, with a hole smashed in the wall to indicate the direction of Mecca. Their life together mixes sex, dope, and religion in roughly equal amounts, expressed in devotion to an Islamo-punk subculture, "taqwacore".
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Quick, fun, interesting listen
- By Mark on 05-03-11
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
What listeners say about F***ness
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Donna Millar
- 07-15-13
The Title Says It All!
If you could sum up F***ness in three words, what would they be?
God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy!
Who was your favorite character and why?
I just loved the main character, he explains what F***ness is and just doesn't veer off the path, and it just IS!!! I can empathize on so many levels...
Have you listened to any of Jeff Bower’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Never have listened to any others, but I will...
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The moment that he clunked the horns on the wall and nobody noticed...if you've ever felt invisible before, well that ought to do it...
Any additional comments?
Use a credit!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-16-23
Like his humor
I’ve listened to several of his short story collections and meat photo. This is pretty funny imo, and flashes of gory violence.
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- justin
- 05-21-19
Just the right amount of weirdness

Justin eaton's review
May 21, 2019 · edit
really liked it
This was not quit bizarro, but just the right amount of weird. I had heard it was good and went into it without knowing anything about it. I loved the main character who kind of made me think of a foul mouthed napoleon dynamite. Personally I think the story would have been better without the horns since they didnt really add much to the story. Overall it was a fun story, and the audible addition it highly recommended because the narrator does a great job.
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- timj26
- 11-06-19
Good story
This reminded me of a bizarro Version of joe hills horns
A well narrated adventure that prunty fans will enjoy
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ramona
- 05-04-15
excellent!
first book ive read by Prunty, and i loved it right from the start, I finished it in a weekend. Jeff Bowers' narration is on point throughout the story, giving each character life and at a pace that holds the listener. the story is somewhat graphic and violent at times but not over done or redundant. there are several points along the story that have you question your own fuckness, what it all means and how or what you'll get out of it. great ending as well, it didn't fall short towards the end.
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1 person found this helpful
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- David F Burke
- 03-18-16
Fuckness in General
I listened to this book on Audible.com. Fuckness caught my eye while I was shopping for authors and books similar to David Wong and John Dies at the End. The description sounds very similar to Joe Hill's Horns, which I haven't read, though I have seen the movie, and I can assure you that the similarities stop at the word "horns". I had never read anything by Prunty before, but I did know that he is popular in the Bizarro circles.
Fuckness starts out pretty bleak, with absurdly awful characters and adolescent diatribes on how awful and pointless everything is, like John Waters meets Chuck Palahniuk at the Holden Caulfield Cafe, where they're served shitty coffee by a cigarette smoking, world-weary Judy Blum. It is entertaining, but there seem to be no redeeming characters, and even the protagonist, Wally, appears to be unsavory. There was a moment where I definitely wondered if I could make it through 200+ pages of this.
IF this is exactly the type of writing you thrive on, warning: the tone changes, the depth of the story broadens, and not everything is as it seems. If you hate this kind of writing, same warning.
This is an emotional book that takes the reader, and Wally, on a journey of self discovery, spending time on the nature of sadness and alienation, but also exploring kindness, joy, and acceptance. A recurring concept in the book, which I particularly enjoyed, is that of our identities being more defined by the kind person we strive to be than that of the person we have been, with our struggles and pain being heavily integrated in that development.
Please don't misunderstand: this book is fucked. If you want blood - you got it, in buckets. If you want drug use or sexually explicit material, there's that too. However, Fuckness is special because Andersen Prunty is as adept at introspective, realistic depiction of a young person's inner turmoil and confusion as he is with sex, violence, and general...well, fuckness. Check it out - this is worth your while.
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- SStark
- 05-01-18
Totally F**ked!
Chuckled, cringed and dove into the F**kness horns first. This story has heart and balls.
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- Shadow Girl
- 06-09-20
A Re-Read Turned Into A Surprise!
I was about 25% into a reread of this title yesterday when I ran into a copy of the audiobook via the author’s Twitter feed (@andersenprunty). I was doing a few things, so I switched it on right away.
The narrator of this Audible edition of 'Fv<kness' is so fv<kin’ awesome that this ‘reread’ turned into an entirely new experience. (Full unedited NSFW review @ https://bit.ly/2MNev92).
Jeff Bower is the narrator, and although I’m about to stalk his a$$ to see what else he’s done – he could just be THE VOICE of Andersen Prunty in my head forevermore. (I just DL’d an audio book which A.P. narrates himself, I’ll comment more after listening.)
Jeff Bower though…how can I explain… he has this evil little giggle that he does, kind of to himself, and it adds something undefinable to his character. Love it. It reminds me of that evil, psychotic side of myself when I’m heartily laughing at something that I shouldn’t be – does that help explain it?
5 Stars!
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