How to Sell a Haunted House
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Narrated by:
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Jay Aaseng
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Mikhaila Aaseng
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By:
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Grady Hendrix
About this listen
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
"Wildly entertaining."-The New York Times
"Ingenious."-The Washington Post
New York Times bestselling author Grady Hendrix takes on the haunted house in a thrilling new novel that explores the way your past—and your family—can haunt you like nothing else.
When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world.
Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market.
But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them…
Like his novels The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires and The Final Girl Support Group, How to Sell a Haunted House is classic Hendrix: equal parts heartfelt and terrifying—a gripping new read from “the horror master” (USA Today).
©2022 Grady Hendrix (P)2022 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Grady Hendrix’s horror novels are a gateway drug to the genre...By weaving violence, family trauma and humor, Hendrix creates a texture that engages the reader emotionally and viscerally…[a] gripping, wildly entertaining exploration of childhood horrors.” —The New York Times
“It's tempting to point out the balance of horror and humor here, and the commingling of the two really is something else, but the true power behind How to Sell a Haunted House is in its emotionality, the sister-brother dynamic, the family matters. It's life and death in the childhood home, and Hendrix has masterfully rendered the journey from one end to the other.” —Josh Malerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box and Daphne
“A spirited nightmare story about death, but also, what comes after: grief, guilt, family secrets, and estate administration. Oh, also, did I mention the evil puppets?" —Chuck Wendig, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Accidents
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- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When Savannah disappears soon after arguing with her mom's boyfriend, everyone assumes she's run away. The truth is much worse. She's been kidnapped by a man in a white van who locks her in an old trailer home, far from prying eyes. And worse yet, Savannah's not alone: 10 months earlier, Jenny met the same fate and nearly died trying to escape. Now as the two girls wonder if he will hold them captive forever or kill them, they must join forces to break out - even if it means they die trying.
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good young adult thriller
- By Taylor Edwards on 06-25-24
By: April Henry
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The Taking of Jake Livingston
- By: Ryan Douglass
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free, Michael Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Jake Livingston sees dead people everywhere. But he can't decide what's worse: being a medium forced to watch the dead play out their last moments on a loop or being at the mercy of racist teachers as one of the few Black students at St. Clair Prep. Both are a living nightmare he wishes he could wake up from. But things at St. Clair start looking up with the arrival of another Black student - the handsome Allister - and for the first time, romance is on the horizon for Jake. Unfortunately, life as a medium is getting worse.
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Brings up too much trauma
- By TheColorNerd on 10-14-21
By: Ryan Douglass
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The McAvoy Sisters Book of Secrets
- A Novel
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s been 17 years since the tragic summer the McAvoy sisters fell apart. Lindy, the wild one, left home, carved out a new life in the city, and never looked back. Delia, the sister who stayed, became a mother herself, raising her daughters and running the family shop in their small Ohio hometown on the shores of Lake Erie. But now, with their mother’s ailing health and a rebellious teenager to rein in, Delia has no choice but to welcome Lindy home.
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Great story
- By Nessa on 09-25-23
By: Molly Fader
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The End and Other Beginnings
- Stories from the Future
- By: Veronica Roth
- Narrated by: Emily Rankin, MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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No world is like the other. Within this masterful collection, each setting is more strange and wonderful than the last, brimming with new technologies and beings. And yet, for all the advances in these futuristic lands, the people still must confront deeply human problems. In these six stories, Veronica Roth reaches into the unknown and draws forth something startlingly familiar and profoundly beautiful.
By: Veronica Roth
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The Last House on Needless Street
- By: Catriona Ward
- Narrated by: Christopher Ragland
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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In a boarded-up house on a dead-end street at the edge of the wild Washington woods lives a family of three. A teenage girl who isn’t allowed outside, not after last time. A man who drinks alone in front of his TV, trying to ignore the gaps in his memory. And a house cat who loves napping and reading the Bible. An unspeakable secret binds them together, but when a new neighbor moves in next door, what is buried out among the birch trees may come back to haunt them all.
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I can only listen in 1-2 hour segments!
- By Brenda on 10-04-21
By: Catriona Ward
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He Came in with It
- A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness
- By: Miriam Feldman
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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1.3 speed = perfection
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The year is 1988. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since the fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act...different. She's moody. She's irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she's nearby. Abby's investigation leads her to some startling discoveries - and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question.
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The visionary writer and director of Get Out, Us, and Nope, and founder of Monkeypaw Productions, curates this groundbreaking anthology of all-new stories of Black horror, exploring not only the terrors of the supernatural but the chilling reality of injustice that haunts our nation. Featuring an introduction by Peele and an all-star roster of beloved writers and new voices, Out There Screaming is a master class in horror, and—like his spine-chilling films—its stories prey on everything we think we know about our world . . . and redefine what it means to be afraid.
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Huge Disappointment 😢
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Nobody has a “normal” family, but Vesper Wright’s is truly...something else. Vesper left home at eighteen and never looked back—mostly because she was told that leaving the staunchly religious community she grew up in meant she couldn’t return. But then an envelope arrives on her doorstep.
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1.3 speed = perfection
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The year is 1988. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since the fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act...different. She's moody. She's irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she's nearby. Abby's investigation leads her to some startling discoveries - and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question.
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So Disappointing
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When single mother Liv is commissioned to paint a mural in a 100-year-old lighthouse on a remote Scottish island, it's an opportunity to start over with her three daughters - Luna, Sapphire, and Clover. When two of her daughters go missing, she's frantic. She learns that the cave beneath the lighthouse was once a prison for women accused of witchcraft. The locals warn her about wildlings, supernatural beings who mimic human children, created by witches for revenge. Liv is told wildlings are dangerous and must be killed.
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A wonderfully haunting story!
- By Tommy on 12-06-21
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Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her ambitious husband is too busy to give her a goodbye kiss in the morning, her kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on thank-you notes and her endless list of chores. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime and paperback fiction. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood gossip.
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Not my cup of tea
- By NorthernPerson on 04-21-20
By: Grady Hendrix
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Witchcraft for Wayward Girls
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They call them wayward girls. Loose girls. Girls who grew up too fast. And they’re sent to Wellwood House in St. Augustine, Florida, where unwed mothers are hidden by their families to have their babies in secret, to give them up for adoption, and most important of all, to forget any of it ever happened. Everything the girls eat, every moment of their waking day, and everything they’re allowed to talk about is strictly controlled by adults who claim they know what’s best for them.
By: Grady Hendrix
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Black Mouth
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For nearly two decades, Jamie Warren has been running from darkness. He's haunted by a traumatic childhood and the guilt at having disappeared from his disabled brother's life. But then a series of unusual events reunites him with his estranged brother and their childhood friends, and none of them can deny the sense of fate that has seemingly drawn them back together. Nor can they deny the memories of that summer, so long ago—the strange magic taught to them by an even stranger man, and the terrible act that has followed them all into adulthood.
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Great Listen
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Don’t Turn Out the Lights
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Featuring stories from R.L. Stine and Madeleine Roux, this middle-grade horror anthology, curated by New York Times best-selling author and master of macabre Jonathan Maberry, is a chilling tribute to Alvin Schwartz’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Flesh-hungry ogres? Brains full of spiders? Haunted houses you can’t escape? This collection of 35 terrifying stories from the Horror Writers Association has it all, including ghastly illustrations from Iris Compiet that will absolutely chill listeners to the bone.
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A Nice Change From the Heavier Stuff
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By: Jonathan Maberry - editor, and others
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Sucker
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Chuck Gross would like nothing more than to prune himself from his family tree. He’s already clipped his name, turning Charles Grossheart, Jr.—son of a billionaire labor exploiter, weapons manufacturer, and climate change denier—into ordinary good-guy Chuck, the “self-made” proprietor of an up-and-coming punk label. But when Daddy threatens to cut him off, Chuck is forced to get a “real job”—and conveniently, an old college friend has just swept back into his life with the perfect opportunity.
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Stupid
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Newly reissued from the "modern-day Algernon Blackwood" comes five terrifying collected horror novellas.
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While their short stories, they’re also non-ending stories
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By: Ronald Malfi
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The Ritual
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When four old University friends set off into the Scandinavian wilderness of the Arctic Circle, they aim to briefly escape the problems of their lives and reconnect with one another. But when Luke, the only man still single and living a precarious existence, finds he has little left in common with his well-heeled friends, tensions rise. With limited experience between them, a shortcut meant to ease their hike turns into a nightmare scenario that could cost them their lives. Lost, hungry, and surrounded by forest untouched for millennia, Luke figures things couldn't possibly get any worse.
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AMAZING AND SCARY
- By Emily McDonald on 02-15-18
By: Adam Nevill
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Paper Ghosts
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- By: Julia Heaberlin
- Narrated by: Catherine Taber
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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An obsessive young woman has been waiting half her life - since she was 12 years old - for this moment. She has planned. Researched. Trained. Imagined every scenario. Now, she is almost certain the man who kidnapped and murdered her sister sits in the passenger seat beside her. Carl Louis Feldman is a documentary photographer. The young woman claims to be his long-lost daughter. He doesn’t believe her. He claims no memory of murdering girls across Texas, in a string of places where he shot eerie pictures. She doesn’t believe him.
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Love love love Paper Ghosts!
- By Southern American Gal on 04-05-21
By: Julia Heaberlin
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The Beckoning Dead, Books 1-3
- By: Ambrose Ibsen
- Narrated by: Melissa Moran
- Length: 19 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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At sixteen, Sadie Young had a brush with death, and as a result she became more sensitive to the supernatural. Rather than embrace this gift, she spent years running from it, and from the darkness that once preyed upon her. Now twenty-five and working as a librarian, Sadie is called upon by a desperate family friend to look into a strange series of events. A teenaged girl has entered a reputedly haunted house in town and has gone mad. Committed, the girl attempts suicide and claims to be terrorized at all hours by a horrific specter known as "Mother Maggot."
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I liked the story and the narrator’s performance.
- By Debbie Mathews on 12-01-23
By: Ambrose Ibsen
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The Witching Hour
- By: Anne Rice
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 50 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Demonstrating once again her gift for spellbinding storytelling, Anne Rice makes real for us a great dynasty of four centuries of witches - a family given to poetry and incest, murder and philosophy, a family that over the ages is itself haunted by a powerful, dangerous, and seductive being called Lasher who haunts the Mayfair women. Moving in time from today's New Orleans and San Francisco to long-ago Amsterdam and the France of Louis XIV, from the coffee plantations of Port-au-Prince to Civil War New Orleans and back to today, Anne Rice has spun a mesmerizing tale.
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THANK YOU AUDIBLE!
- By Wendy on 10-22-15
By: Anne Rice
What listeners say about How to Sell a Haunted House
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Joy Ann Karsner
- 01-20-23
Yo
Why did the narrator switch between the pronunciation Louise/Luis the whole time. Very distracting.
Story is wildly entertaining.
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16 people found this helpful
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- ian mearns
- 01-19-23
Once Again - Super Impressed
I have read most of the books that Mr Hendrix has written and each one is different yet familiar . I really enjoyed this book as it was both scary and funny. I suggest buying it and listening if you like comedy horror or any of the other books Hendrix has written.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Margaret Jordan
- 06-08-23
Good read
Deliciously creepy. A thumping good read and would provoke great discussions for a book club.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Michael Livingston
- 07-05-23
Fun Listen
My son and I listened to this while were driving to a couple of different camping trips the past week and a half and we loved it! I was happy to share something with him that I love. This book had a little bit of everything I love in horror, it builds suspense, keeps you guessing on which way things are going to go, and gives you a satisfying ending. I heard it may be made in it to a movie and most of the time I don't want this to happen because it never lives up to the book, but if done right this could be a really fun movie.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Cheryl
- 05-11-23
Great story, great narration, a must read!
A slow sad start but the story has depth and I hated to put my audible down between chapters. I didn't expect the ending even though the pieces were there to see it coming. Grady Hendrix has become one of my favorite authors and the duo that narrated this book did such a great job with all of the characters. I can't wait to see this as a movie!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-18-23
Creepy and fun
I really enjoyed this one. It was just creepy enough without actually being scary. I think I liked it just a little more than A Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires. October is my book club month, and this is going to be my choice. Can wait for all the Halloween fun hosting. Pupkins says Kakawewe...
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- jc
- 01-23-23
Excellent!
Loved this newest offering by Grady Hendrix! Solid storytelling, believable characters, highly visual setting, and a fabulous narrator. Definitely recommend. 5 stars!
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1 person found this helpful
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- BeagleMom
- 01-10-24
This Book!!
I lived this book! It was very creepy, awesome narration, great ending. Gotta read another of his books now!
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- Mayday
- 01-23-23
Masterful
This book is like life. Terrifying, beautiful, hilarious, sad, uncontrollable and full of little things that you can’t control that feel like that may or may not be trying to kill you,
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1 person found this helpful
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- Timothy J.
- 03-25-24
Gripping story built on one’s fears of puppets and haunted houses
Having grown up in a house that I certainly thought was haunted by my mom‘s terrifying, porcelain dolls, this story hit home in a lot of ways…no pun intended. The way the author captured the mixed bag of emotions that comes with the death of a close relative and the loss of one’s childhood home felt authentic and true, at least from my personal experience. Add in the layer of fear from your mom‘s collection of creepy dolls or puppets, and it adds a whole other confusing layer of feelings that are hard to grapple with. I thought this story did an amazing job of showing the main characters’ emotional and psychological roller coaster of a journey as they navigate the life post-familial death and try to sell their parents’ haunted house. Aside from getting the characters and their emotions on point, this story is just plain creepy! It had me on edge listening the whole time as I thought about my own childhood in our haunted house. Loved it!
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1 person found this helpful