John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life
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Narrated by:
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Nicky Calonne
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John Goblikon
About this listen
In a world filled with trolls, we all need to live life more like a goblin. What does it mean to "live life like a goblin"? It means to give no f--ks, but also all the f--ks in the world at the same time. It means to be constantly anxiety-ridden while also eternally optimistic. A goblin's heart, specifically John Goblikon's, is filled with love, joy, angst, constant quandary, Chili's Southwestern egg rolls, metal, and empathy. Through the goblin eyes of being an internet celebrity/insurance salesman/rock-and-roll mascot for the Goblin Metal outfit, Nekrogoblikon, we learn about life, death, business, food, music, travel, culture, dating, school, drinking, compassion, and much more!
John walks listeners through crucial life steps, from becoming internet famous, to getting dates with special someones, to even correct ordering techniques for the perfect meal at Chili's.
Have a problem? John Goblikon assumes he knows how to help you solve it...all in this new, for-sure-to-be-a-New-York-Times-best-seller-and-win-like-100-awards debut: John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life.
©2019 Brandon Dermer and Dave Rispoli (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
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Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
- One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
- By: Jessica Pan
- Narrated by: Jessica Pan
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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Encouraging memoir: Sorry, cheer
- By Aaron Menz on 07-03-23
By: Jessica Pan
What listeners say about John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sean hulbert
- 12-22-22
Enjoyable
Love that it is read by John Goblikon, it wouldn’t have been as good read by anyone else. It’s more for entertainment value than it is for self help, but there is some good advice too. Definitely worth a listen. Great job John, I hope you get all the awards for this book.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-16-19
Time to live!
Before listening to this book, everything was terrible. Now I know how to handle Brads and exactly where I should go for Happy Hour everyday! Thanks John!
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- Ickybittles
- 01-06-21
hilarious
loved it a lot listening to a internet famous goblin while working away at my desk job is a fine way to spend an afternoon
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- Michael & Whitney Boyette
- 09-30-20
Chili’s
Need I say more? Actually I do Amazon makes me tell a certain amount of words. So. Chili’s
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- Dillan Bergman
- 04-27-20
Eye Opening Experience
Loved it!
The most memorable moment was learning "excuses are like assholes, it's all about presentation."
John Goblikon is a narrative sensation, unlike any other.
Thanks to this audiobook, during hard times in America due to the COVID-19 pandemic; I as an essential worker, took a shot listening to this book as an outlet for my feelings.
Because of the lessons learned in this book, from start to finish, I willingly restrained myself from quitting my warehouse job and starting my new life as a Chaturbate model. Although my delectable yams would've been a hit and definitely put me in the top 200 position on the site, I made the right call and I'm sticking my neck out for people in need, rather than selfishly be concerned about my income.
I recommend this book for anyone going though a rough time RIGHT NOW (see what I did l there?) and in need of an escape from this hellscape of a reality.
P.S. Told my co-worker Brad (who isn't technically classified as a Brad but still associated by name) to fuck off.
P.S.S Some insight on Brad, he is at least 6 foot tall and 250lbs, in his free time he likes jamming out to Type O Negative and practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu... He's a little upset with me but I will gift him this audiobook to make amends.
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- Michael
- 08-02-20
Five out of Five Stars!
Live your best (green) life!
John Goblikon shares his otherworldly experiences with us in the hope of helping us reach our best selves, our goblin selves. From things such as dealing with work, self-image, and eating at Chili's, Mr. Goblikon does his best to make sure we all understand that life is fleeting and we need to make the most of it right now. RIGHT NOW.
Nekrogoblikon being one of my favorite bands, I knew I had to read this self-help book penned by their mascot, John Goblikon. His wild musings were hilarious, and had me laughing quite a bit while driving (which is mainly when I like to listen to audiobooks, which is the best format for this book to be enjoyed). I finished this book in a single day, and only wish there was more to be had.
For fans of metal, goblins, and Chili's, I highly recommend you buy this book. And do yourself a favor and splurge a bit more for the audiobook. I promise you won't regret it.
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- Eli W.
- 05-09-22
Rock on...
...at Chillie's. Why this have to be 15 words or more? I don't have that much to say.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-06-20
Best audio book I've ever heard.
Thanks John, you really set me up to Liv my best life. I don't know what I would do without ya.
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- gghhyy
- 06-03-22
Goblinesk!
No other goblin book audio or other wise will ever touch this book! Right Now, best life advice in the history of life advice Right Now!
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- Lucien Theberge
- 05-23-23
Better than pooping on a airplane
Enjoyed listening to this from beginning to end. Best book written by a goblin this century.
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