The Haunted Forest Tour
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Narrated by:
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Joe Hempel
About this listen
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!
Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
We promise.
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David was caught in the middle of the city when the zombie outbreak started. His wife and daughters were at home, stranded on the roof as zombies waited below. He would have to fight through hordes of undead, merciless other survivors, and a series of death defying stunts to get home. However, even if he makes it there, how can he be sure they're safe? Deadlocked puts you into David's head as he struggles to get home. Then a final confrontation occurs that could guarantee his family's survival, but at what cost?
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Looks like a great series to follow
- By Tilo on 07-06-14
By: A.R. Wise
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Things to Do in Denver When You're Un-Dead
- From the Files of the BSI, Book 1
- By: Mark Everett Stone
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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For 10 years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation's top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal's time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn't crack, no monster he couldn't kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor.
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very, very enjoyable. a great listen
- By Dr Dionne P Joseph on 08-24-13
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The Last Mailman
- By: Kevin Burke
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Four-year degree in business.Trained in hand-to-hand combat. Works well with zombies.This is the resume of the last mailman on Earth. It is the near future, and the modern world we knew has been overrun and destroyed by reanimated corpses who hunt humans for food. Mankind has retreated to small pockets of civilization and practically surrendered to these walking dead. But one man routinely leaves behind the safety and comfort of his home in this new world in order to find the people and things we’ve long abandoned.
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Zombies but not as many as expected
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 08-16-13
By: Kevin Burke
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
- By JunieJ on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
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Cryptids
- Cryptids, Book 1
- By: David Haynes
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The Facility is a research centre that specialises in cryptozoology, the search for legendary creatures. Once these ‘cryptids’ are found, they are caged, abused and experimented on to graft their physical prowess onto ordinary soldiers. Even as the Facility’s troops hunt down Shaw, and the cunning Cryptid Nine plans her escape, something far more horrifying is emerging from hibernation to feed. And both human and cryptid will discover that nothing can stop the Wendigo....
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Awful Narrator!
- By Roni on 05-18-22
By: David Haynes
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Smoke Eaters
- By: Sean Grigsby
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When dragons rise from the earth, firefighters are humanity's last line of defense, in this wild near-future fantasy. Firefighter Cole Brannigan is on the verge of retirement after 30 years on the job, and a decade fighting dragons. But during his final fire call, he discovers he's immune to dragon smoke. It's such a rare power that he's immediately conscripted into the elite dragon-fighting force known as the Smoke Eaters. Retirement cancelled, Brannigan is re-assigned as a lowly rookie.
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Highly Enjoyable!
- By Logan on 04-07-18
By: Sean Grigsby
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900 Miles
- A Zombie Novel
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a killer, but that wasn't his day job before the Apocalypse. In a harrowing 900-mile race against time to get to his wife just as the dead begin to rise, John, a businessman trapped in New York, soon learns that the zombies are the least of his worries, as he sees firsthand the horror of what man is capable of with no rules, no consequences, and death at every turn. Teaming up with an ex-army pilot named Kyle, they escape New York only to stumble across a man who says that he has the key to a rumored underground stronghold called Avalon....
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A "road story"--with zombies!
- By Lesley on 09-30-14
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Rod's life doesn't suck. If you ask him, it's pretty awesome. He may not be popular, but he and his best friends play in a band that has a standing gig. Yeah, it's Monday night and they don't get paid, but they can crank the volume as loud as they want. And Rod's girlfriend is hot, smart, and believes in their band - believes in Rod. Aside from a winning lottery ticket, what more could he ask for? Answer: A different cousin. When Rod's scheming, two-faced cousin Blake moves in for the semester, Rod tries to keep calm. Blake seems to have everyone else fooled....
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The Audio version of this book is Fantastic.
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I looked it a lot but I didn't love it
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Devil's Island. An abandoned island in the Caribbean Sea with a dark and bloody past. An island with a terrible secret. Nick Gorman, billionaire movie producer, assembles a team of ghost hunters and scientists to investigate the Thornhill Manor on Devil's Island - the most haunted place in the world that no one's ever heard of. He's there to find proof of ghosts, evidence of an afterlife...but he's also there to uncover the secret that is hidden on the island...to possess it.
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Pretty good book
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The girl had been staring into her mirror all morning before she picked up the small bottle of sulphuric acid and poured it over her forehead. Samira was a young woman with her whole life ahead of her. What could have brought her to this? DC Jerry Pardoe and DS Jamila Patel of Tooting Police suspect it's suicide. But then a meek husband kills his wife, and the headteacher of the local school throws her pupils out of a window. It's no longer a random outbreak of horrific crimes. It's a deadly virus. And it's spreading.
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Like Direct to Video 80s Horror
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Cults, Monsters, Small-town Weirdoes and their Persecutors... it's Perfect
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Why do they always harm cats????
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The Audio version of this book is Fantastic.
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Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....
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I looked it a lot but I didn't love it
- By Christna Fredrick Kim on 04-08-20
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Pretty good book
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Like Direct to Video 80s Horror
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good book!
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The Nightmare Room
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Audiobook narrator Peter Larson and his wife Hannah head to his hometown of Maple City to help Peter's ailing father and to put a recent tragedy behind them. Though the small, Midwestern town seems like the idyllic place to start afresh, Peter and Hannah will soon learn that evil currents flow beneath its surface. They move into an old farmhouse on the outskirts of town - a house purchased by Peter's father at auction and kept secret until now - and start to settle into their new life. But as Peter sets up his recording studio in a small basement room, disturbing things begin to occur.
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An excellent and original haunted house story...
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Lineage
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- Unabridged
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Pain, horror, fear - these are the things that have comprised best-selling novelist Lance Metzger's life. His childhood remains a riddled wasteland of abuse by a sadistic father and abandonment by an apathetic mother. In turn his only refuge became his writing. When Lance loses his ability to write and becomes haunted by a nightmare that he'd thought was buried, he is drawn inexplicably to a house on the shores of Lake Superior, where he finds his muse once again - but something is waiting for him when he arrives.
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Loved it!
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By: Joe Hart
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The Skittering
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- Unabridged
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Crease is known in Weaver as ‘the bug guy’, the man who takes care of insects and other critters. But what emerges from the shadows of the town’s waste plant is beyond anything found in nature. Fist-sized cockroaches. Bird-sized wasps. Spiders, millipedes, ticks, all swollen to enormous bulk with vicious appetites to match. And other things, creatures that should never exist. Through the night, they come, slithering, buzzing, scuttling, crawling over skin, burrowing into flesh, making the town their nest.
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Good ol gross out gore
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The Ones That Got Away
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These thirteen stories are our own lives, inside out. A boy's summer romance doesn't end in that good kind of heartbreak, but in blood. A girl on a fishing trip makes a friend in the woods, except then that friend follows her back to the city. A father hears a voice through his baby monitor that shouldn't be possible, but now he can't stop listening. From prison guards making unholy alliances to snake-oil men in the Old West doling out justice, these stories carve down into the body of the mind, into our most base fears and certainties, and there's no anesthetic.
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Use your credit somewhere else
- By Doug M on 05-22-22
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Meat
- By: Joseph D'Lacey
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In Abyrne, a strange town surrounded by a wasteland, the eating of meat is a sacred obligation. The town’s strict laws are brutally enforced by a ruthless Baron and a merciless Bishop. Adored by the townsfolk is Richard Shanti, Abyrne’s famous bolt-gunner – the most efficient slaughterhouse worker in living memory. In private, however, Shanti is a gentle man; a husband, and father to twin girls. The growing guilt about his murderous job weighs him down. Beguiled by a rebellious heretic, Shanti uncovers the harrowing truth behind Abyrne’s history.
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Holy Cow!!!
- By Michael on 12-30-19
By: Joseph D'Lacey
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The Toll
- By: Cherie Priest
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State Road 177 runs along the Suwannee River, between Fargo, Georgia, and the Okefenokee Swamp. Drive that route from east to west, and you'll cross six bridges. Take it from west to east, and you might find seven. But you'd better hope not. Titus and Melanie Bell leave their hotel in Fargo for a second honeymoon canoeing the Okefenokee Swamp. But shortly before they reach their destination, they draw up to a halt at the edge of a rickety bridge with old stone pilings, with room for only one car....
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Tanya Twombly on 11-06-19
By: Cherie Priest
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Walking After Midnight: Tales for Halloween
- By: Evan Camby
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Named one of Suspense Magazine's Best Books of 2014, Evan Camby's "Walking After Midnight: Tales for Halloween" is a collection of six terrifying horror stories guaranteed to send chills up your spine. Read them by a bonfire on a chilly autumn night, or under a blanket by candle light. Whatever you do, don't look behind you. "Hayride" The Schultz family's outing to an apple orchard goes terribly awry on the hayride from Hell. "Hat Man" Graduate student Bernice is plagued by night terrors. As the horrible visions begin to invade her waking hours, she must fight for her sanity...and her ...
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A couple of potentially good stories.
- By WingsOverEden on 10-29-24
By: Evan Camby
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Ten
- By: Gretchen McNeil
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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It was supposed to be the weekend of their lives - an exclusive house party on Henry Island. Best friends Meg and Minnie are looking forward to two days of boys, booze, and fun-filled luxury. But what starts out as fun turns twisted after the discovery of a DVD with a sinister message: Vengeance is mine. And things only get worse from there. When a mysterious killer begins picking them off one by one, there's no escape. As the deaths become more violent and the teens turn on one another, can Meg find the killer before more people die?
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Think "And then there were none" for teens
- By Kevin on 03-02-20
By: Gretchen McNeil
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Twelve Nights at Rotter House
- By: J.W. Ocker
- Narrated by: Matt Godfrey
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Felix Allsey is a travel writer with a keen eye for the paranormal, and he's carved out a unique, if only slightly lucrative, niche for himself in nonfiction; he writes travelogues of the country's most haunted places, after haunting them himself. When he convinces the owner of the infamous Rotterdam Mansion to let him stay on the premises for two weeks, he believes he's finally found the location that will bring him a best seller. Then things start going wrong: screams from upstairs, figures in the thresholds, and more than what should be in any basement.
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Ocker had me at 'boo holes'...
- By J.G. on 10-28-19
By: J.W. Ocker
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Demonic
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Corey is falling in love with his co-worker Quinn. This is a problem. Not only because Quinn is married, but because her husband is a serial killer known as the Toledo Trasher, who has been forcing her to participate in his savage crimes.
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Demonic
- By Rachel on 06-16-23
By: Jeff Strand
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The Writhing
- By: Abe Moss
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex watches from her bedroom window as the small, secluded town of Amberton sleeps: a bright, pleasant town with a dark, disturbing secret. Helen, her foster mother, is gone all hours of the night with no explanation. The neighbors, always friendly, always smiling, are also always watching. They know something Alex doesn't. Something she shouldn't....
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Abe Moss is the Real Thing
- By Michael on 01-02-21
By: Abe Moss
What listeners say about The Haunted Forest Tour
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Seal35
- 10-17-18
wonderful
This was awesome from start to finish. This was awesome, I loved how well it was written and performed. I enjoyed the characters and left wanting to reread this again. Great job and it was a bonus it all occurs on Halloween.
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- Flyboy
- 07-28-20
There's a lot to unpack here
In a nutshell, a forest pops up in the middle of the desert, wreaking destruction on an entire town, and killing the population.. Before anyone realizes, the forest becomes infested with otherwordly creatures intent on taking over, well, everything. They're also hungry for human flesh - very hungry. Moore and Strand deserve a lot of credit for how much thought they put into all of the creatures, down to every tentacle, tooth, wing, gaping hole, and more. It can sometimes overwhelm with all of the various inhabitants - all deadly, none cuddly.
Eventually, developers get the bright idea to turn the forest into a tourist attraction. This particular trip is special. It's Halloween night, and a tram full of lucky ticket holders get on board and make their way through the horrors of the forest. This part of the story is hard to keep track of because there are just so many damn characters. That is until the tram dies on the tracks, and all hell breaks loose.
This book is incredibly imaginative (though I found using the word "monsters" to collective describe the creatures seems very old fashioned and quaint). If you can set aside some of its silliness (every time an Ogre ripped someone in half or slammed them against a tree, I just kept picturing Shrek), you'll love this book. I ultimately settled on three stars because the number of characters was overwhelming, and a few scenes went on a lot longer than the should have. And with the detailed descriptions of so many creatures, I can't help but think they took some inspiration from video games, or perhaps the last 15 minutes of Cabin In The Woods
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- mea1313
- 05-30-23
Fun and Fast Horror Ride
I loved this book! All the awesome monsters and great descriptions made this a great ride for horror lovers!
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- Michael Scharf
- 05-06-23
Like a Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin
This is a case of missed and underused opportunities. The premise is interesting and the plot is intriguing, but the characters are less than fully realized and there is a feeling that it could have been sooooo much better.
What's good-
Interesting premise.
Nice action sequences.
Amusing sarcastic writing style.
What's bad-
Thinly crafted characters.
Too much time spent lovingly describing wounds and pain.
Too much suspension of disbelief is required to truly invest emotionally in the tale.
In a nutshell, this story has no real heft. It's a poorly made Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin; it's scary if it's dark out and you squint your eyes just right, otherwise it's just cheaply painted rubber and matted fantasy fur.
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- Aubrey Maxwell
- 06-06-20
Interesting to say the least.
I really liked the concept of this story. The narrator was so-so. Overall, a good read (listen).
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- Roger
- 10-07-19
An Imaginative Ride
A rather thrilling and exciting adventure into horror. Had some very interesting monsters and characters.
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- Wolft1113
- 09-14-22
Haunted Forest Tour is a great read
didn't want to stop listening the whole way through. keeps your attention the whole way through
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- Peggy ~~°°~~
- 09-05-19
The action keeps going Freedom beginning to end!
Loved the characters & especially the monsters. All the different kinds of monsters from werewolves, dragons, ogres, to flaming Hell Hounds. It was all pretty good except for the periodic call backs to the various female character's tits and @ss as the death & disaster unfolded. It just didn't fit quite right & seemed inappropriate and out of place. Overall, I liked the story & characters.
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- kathy pappas
- 03-01-23
Good God is this good!
This is an amazing book !!! My gosh , edge of your seat good ! The story , the narrator , the chills and thrills . I just can't believe how good it is !
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- microkat
- 04-04-23
Fun
Fun horror read? I enjoyed the characters . Though the ending was a little rushed it seemed to me.
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