Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
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By:
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MJ Wassmer
About this listen
VACATION CHECKLIST
- Pack swim trunks.
- Apply sunscreen.
- Survive the apocalypse?
Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a vacation. Sure, his life has been average at best, and yeah, he’s never quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Miller Lites in paradise with his girlfriend, Mara, things are starting to look up.
Then the sun explodes.
With the island resort suddenly plunged into darkness (he really should’ve sprung for the travel insurance), Dan’s holiday goes from bad to worse when elite guests stage a coup and commandeer supplies. As temperatures drop and class tensions rise, revolution begins to brew on the island, and Dan accidentally becomes a beacon of hope for the surviving vacationers. But when one six-person plane is discovered that could get them back to the mainland, Dan realizes he has a choice to make.
Does he escape the island with Mara? Or does he stay and fight to become the most unlikely hero of the end of the world?
“The end of the world has never been so fun! Explosively funny and terrifyingly plausible in its depiction of the apocalypse, this cinematic debut had me LOLing, cringing, and cheering throughout. I absolutely blazed through this earth-shattering action romp.”—Josh Winning, author of The Shadow Glass
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- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
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Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Made in America
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: William Roberts
- Length: 18 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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Not what the summary says at all
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Evie Jones has dedicated her life and very limited funds working for Southern Service Paws, the company that matched her with the love of her life: Charlie, a service dog trained to assist with her epilepsy. But it’s no secret that the company has been struggling to make ends meet. It’s up to her and her longtime mentor and boss to throw the fundraiser of the century to keep the doors open.
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Influencer Meredith Lee didn’t teach Aspen Palmer how to blossom on social media just to be ditched as soon as Aspen became big. So can anyone really blame Mer for doing a little stalking? Nothing serious, more like Stalking Lite. Then, Mer gets lucky; she finds one of Aspen’s kids’ iPads and swipes it. Now, she has access to everything: the family calendar and Aspen’s social media accounts. Would anyone else be able to resist tweaking things a little here and there, showing up in Aspen’s place for meetings with potential sponsors?
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Definitely a page turner
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What listeners say about Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- rosenh
- 09-23-24
Mixed reviews
I disliked it so much early on that I almost sent it back. All awful people, ugh. It was not funny, just a few chuckles here and there, shouldn’t be listed as a comedy. It was inconsistent, good and bad story, characters, writing. But it kept rolling, got better as the characters became less pathetic. Story turned out interesting in the 2nd half. Violence was unnecessary, would have been better without the extremes.
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- Roscoe V. Robinson
- 09-05-24
Couldn’t stop listening to it!
Great story! Amazing narrator! It may be my favorite book that I have listened to this year!!! 10/10
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1 person found this helpful
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- ancilb123
- 09-23-24
Fantastic Narration with a disappointing story
The preview hooked me just to make me mad by completely ignoring the intriguing cosmic mystery that was presented in the first paragraph. The main character is intended to be the reluctant hero but really just ends up being whiny, lazy, and unlikeable. The writing was good and the narration was fantastic. Instead of the unique quirky Science fiction premise that is presented it spends 90% of the book as an Orwellian slog. The narrator does everything he can to save the failed comedy that would just be depressing without him. There may be an audience out there for this but it wasn't me. Don't be fooled by the preview. The title is meant to be ironic but is too close to the truth
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- Jenica Maroney
- 08-13-24
The character development!!
I never leave reviews. Read this! It’s funny, heartwarming and page-turning. You will not be disappointed that you purchased this book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Pat L.
- 11-09-24
The humor is a facade (and that’s good)
Other reviewers have mentioned that at the start none of the characters seem like likable people. Stick with it just a little and you’ll realize that’s intentional and important. The humor of this book is on the surface, but underneath is an uncomfortable and disturbing reality. Like other reviewers, while listening I was thinking about this being a modern day Animal Farm. The narrator is extremely good.
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- Sam Nguyen
- 08-24-24
SO. GOOD.
What a good listen! Perfect summer/vacation read! Obsessed with the writing style and the performance was spot on. Can’t wait to see what this author does next!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jess
- 12-09-24
Such a fun and creative story!
I really enjoyed the story, characters, and the entire vibe of the book. I’ve never listened to a story like this before. It’s funny, witty, and provides an interesting plot twist! I’m looking forward to more books that MJ Wassmer writes.
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- JW
- 08-10-24
What a great book.
How would I sum this book up in one weird sentence? Thanks for asking. Here goes: If Animal Farm cared more about making me laugh than teaching me about the Russian Revolution of 1917, that, to me anyway, would be Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend.
Don't worry there are no talking pigs in this book, none that I recall anyway, just a basic white boy-uh, man-learning he can be more than he thought he ever could be with the right partner to encourage him and proper motivation. You know, like the end of the world and all.
Filled with memorable characters, sharp, funny dialogue and constant tension, M.J. Wassmer had me snorting at the edge of my seat, all the while trying to figure out the mystery of why the sun exploded, and why they all didn't die 8 minutes later.
Stephen R. Thorne did a great job of narration. I've been a big fan since listening to David Wong's, John Dies at the End many years ago.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Mason Reed Schara
- 10-17-24
Mind Blowing!
Loved this! Highly recommend. Love the diversity of characters, something you don’t see often enough. Also loved the narrator!
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- Lorraine
- 09-14-24
humorous; witty analogies
narrator was great! I could actually picture the characters and their mannerisms while listening to the different voices. alot of the dialog was humorous and I wished I had remembered some of the analogies because they were very clever. The plot had sort of a twilight zone vibe to it which was interesting, but I felt the story line dragged in the middle a bit. My least favorite part was all the "F-bombs" and other bad language used by nearly every character in the story. To me, it was offensive and added very little to the story. overall, it was an enjoyable listen, but not one of my favorites that I'll recommend to my friends and family.
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