Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.

Key Takeaways:

1. Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.
2. Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.
3. Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.
4. Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.
5. View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.

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In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements.

Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.

Key Takeaways:

• Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.
• A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.
• Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.
• Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.

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In this episode, we explore the role of practice in habit formation and how a thoughtful approach can accelerate your progress more than just mindless repetition. We also talk about the mental aspect of practice and how practicing better thoughts can drive better behaviors.

Practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent - choose wisely what you reinforce.

Key Takeaways:
- What we repeat, we reinforce. Be sure you are reinforcing the thoughts and actions that you want to strengthen
- Beware the "streak" trap: While consistency is important, don't let a break in your streak derail your long-term progress
- Quality beats quantity: Focused, deliberate practice yields better results than mindless repetition.
- Mental practice matters: Your thoughts and self-talk are as crucial to practice as physical actions.

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Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to explore the delicate dance of offering constructive criticism while maintaining positive relationships. Learn practical strategies for delivering feedback that empowers growth, builds trust, and respects autonomy.

Whether you're offering feedback as a manager, colleague, spouse, or friend, this episode provides pro-level strategies that will transform your communication and foster meaningful change in others.

Key Takeaways

1. We earn the right to be able to offer feedback by focusing on the relationship first and establishing connection.
2. Always precede constructive feedback with genuine praise to build trust and boost self-efficacy.
3. Avoid using "but" when transitioning from praise to constructive feedback, as it tends to negate everything that came before.
4. Frame constructive feedback positively by encouraging specific alternative behaviors rather than simply telling someone to stop doing something.
5. When giving feedback, "strike when the iron is cold" to ensure emotions are not running high and both parties are receptive.

Related Listening

Ep #140: Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback

Links

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Meet me in Nashville for the ISCEBS Symposium

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Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.

Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success.

But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.

Key Takeaways

1. Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help.
2. Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you.
3. Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.
4. Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.

Work with Me

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Weighless Program

Keynotes and Workshops

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Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Highlights

• Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
• How research on ADHD has influenced behavior change
• The concept of Goal Shielding
• How working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage it
• Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of it

Mentioned

The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar

MichelleSegar.com

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Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
• There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
• It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of.
• We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

• Does one category dominate your list?
• If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
• Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
• Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals?
• Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
• What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve?
• Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
• If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
• Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values?

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

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The Default Mode Network, or DMN, is the part of your brain that drives your habitual actions and thoughts. When we feel “stuck” in unwanted behaviors or thought patterns, the DMN is running the show.

You might think that the solution would be to somehow ratchet down DMN activity. Unfortunately, this is almost impossible to do. But it turns out that there’s a surprisingly simple way to do an end run around that pesky DMN, and open up possibilities that have eluded us before.

Key Takeaways

1. Recognize your DMN at work: Next time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought loop or unwanted behavior, pause and acknowledge that this might be your Default Mode Network (DMN) running on autopilot.
2. Engage your senses to shift your mindset: When stress or old habits threaten to take over, try the "5-4-3" exercise: Observe 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, and 3 things you can hear. This simple practice can help break the DMN's hold.
3. Embrace novelty in your routine: Look for small ways to introduce variety into your daily life, like taking a different route to work or trying a new type of exercise. Remember, even minor changes can boost your mood and broaden your perspective.
4. Practice intentional sense foraging: Set aside time each day to deliberately tune into your sensory experiences. This doesn't require anything special - just pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you in everyday moments.
5. Understand how stress affects your perception. When you're feeling overwhelmed, remember that stress can dampen your sensory perception. Try to counteract this by consciously tuning into your environment through your senses.

Mentioned

Better in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life, by Norm Farb and Zindel Segal

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