Writer and winter enthusiast Katherine May revels in the winter months. While the long, dark evenings invite us to huddle indoors and disconnect from the world, they also offer a chance for reflection, remembrance, and a reset in our lives. As May explains, this season is a time to pause and recalibrate for many.

“Winter is a season of dread as a time of year when grief surfaces. There are people who will be spending their first Christmas alone, or maybe their fifth Christmas alone – everything will be out of place.”

May, author of the book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, encourages embracing those feelings of loss and loneliness that seem to creep in with the cold. She argues that “this time of year, we're often so tired and grumpy” that “we have to treat ourselves like children sometimes, who are in need of a nap, in need of a snack, in need of a bit of quiet time.”

The cure for this? May encourages going outdoors and looking to nature for inspiration and guidance, pointing out that even at the bleakest, darkest time of year, life goes on.

“Think about it in terms of hibernation, in terms of really drawing back. It becomes this beautiful process of rebirth to me and this paring back of what we need teaches us something really profound. Which is that life goes on, even in the most compromised of circumstances.”

To wrap up 2024, Life Examined host Jonathan Bastian and producer Andrea Brody reflect on their year, both on and off the air. They share what defined the year for them personally, highlighting the guests and conversations that left a lasting impact—from the chaotic, unpredictable world of Burning Man to a deeply personal story of loss, and much more.

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Brad Stulberg, author of Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing — Including You shares his observations of humanity, resourcefulness, and community after his hometown of Asheville, North Carolina was hit by Hurricane Helene. The devastating storm left residents without power, water, and communications for days on end.

In the aftermath of the storm, neighbors sprang into action by sharing, gathering, and helping each other wherever they could. Stulberg shares this anecdote about observing his community:

“People came together like I had never seen before. And for those that aren't familiar with western North Carolina, Asheville is a very blue political place, but the surrounding areas are quite red… All of that just completely went away, it was just pure connection on a human level.”

Stulberg likens this experience of hope and resilience to the concept of "tragic optimism," as described by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s book Man's Search for Meaning. Frankl argues that even in the face of pain and despair, we can choose to remain hopeful and optimistic. “We need to be able to look these tragedies in the eye,” Stulberg explains, “expect that they're going to happen and at the same time be optimistic – trudge forward with a hopeful attitude. And Frankel would argue, not in spite of those tragedies, but actually because of them. There's so much in life that is hard, what is going to sustain us through the hard times is also embracing the beautiful when it's there and holding on to it.”

All proceeds from the sale of Brad Stulberg’s book, Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing — Including You, through the end of the year will go towards relief funds helping those impacted by Hurricane Helene in Western North Carolina.

Stulberg, who frequently writes and speaks about mental health and human potential, also addresses his concerns about a current (and well-documented) crisis of masculinity. He does this by sharing some of the latest data on mental health and friendships. “Men are four times as likely than women to die by suicide, right now,” Stulberg tells us. “Nearly half of male teens say that they've never dated — almost double the rate of previous generations. 30 years ago, a majority of young men said that they had over six good friends. Today, the majority of young men say they have only three friends and 15% of young men report having no close friends.”

While there is no single cause for “the increase in loneliness and the male loss of status or feeling like you don't matter,” Stulberg highlights one observation he’s made, and that’s the change in youth sports. Once a community-driven, recreational outlet, “youth sports [have] become increasingly professionalized now. In many areas, you have to pay to play, it's all about travel teams. So these outlets that men used to have to feel really good about themselves are harder to access for a lot of folks.”

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A warning to listeners: The following conversation references suicide, suicidality, and content that is inappropriate for young listeners.

Even before the pandemic, there was an increasing awareness of the decline in mental health of children and young adults. Researchers and scientists have talked and written about rising levels of anxiety in today’s youth, and many have pointed to the pervasiveness of smartphones and social media, which have exponentially magnified concerns for the mental well being of a generation.

Andrew Solomon, writer and professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center, recently penned an article for The New Yorker titled “Has Social Media Fuelled a Teen-Suicide Crisis? ” In his piece, Soloman investigates what’s fuelling the the spike in suicide among Americans between the ages of ten and twenty-four. Quoting the work of Dr. Judith Edersheim at Harvard, Solomon says: “It’s like taking little children and putting them in an all night casino where they serve chocolate flavored bourbon. It's designed to be addictive, it is addictive and that addiction has devastating consequences.”

Solomon interviews dozens of parents and shares the poignant and heart wrenching accounts of how so many of them were totally unaware of the online world in which their children were living. As one father who had lost his son to suicide explained to Solomon, “I was, I thought, such a good father. I checked around the house every night. I locked the doors. I made sure my children were safe. I didn't know that the lion was already inside the house.”

Solomon further explains that this all has so much to do with the insidious nature of the algorithms, which feed not on vulnerabilities, but bring about a sense of normalization. If a kid looks at content about being a little depressed, Solomon tells us that “then they start showing you people who are more depressed. “They want to hook you,” he continues, “what they send you has to gradually become more extreme and eventually you escalate to people who are killing themselves on camera and posting it on social media platforms while they are doing it.”

Parents, educators and lawmakers are working hard to bring attention to this; some argue that social media is only “only one layer” in the crisis.

Lawsuits have made their way to the Supreme Court but so far, Solomon informs us: “The Supreme Court has refused to overturn Section 230. The legislative work that was supposed to have an effect on placing constraints on the operations of social media companies, have all got stuck in committee, despite the ‘bipartisan agreement that there need to be restraints.’”

Solomon advises parents to educate themselves and talk to their kids, though inevitably the younger generation who has grown up with technology is going to be ahead of the game. “The idea of being able to monitor all of what your children are doing is a ludicrous fantasy,” Solomon admits. “So I think that's all not very effective, but you can at least be aware and talk to your children.”

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This week British author Raynor Winn reflects on healing, hope and resilience. Finding herself homeless and coping with her husband’s recent health diagnosis - Winn and her husband set off on a long distance walk. As they set out together they discover how their perspective changes - and how much of their anxiety and bitterness melt away.

​This episode with Raynor Winn was originally broadcast, October 8th, 2023

*This episode was originally broadcast Saturday, June 26th, 2021

Over the past few decades, Buddhism and psychology have served as bridges connecting Eastern and Western thought. Believing that nothing is permanent, Buddhism presents an honest understanding of our minds — how we spend so much of our time thinking about the past and future, and struggle to stay in the present. Harnessing these insights, psychologists and therapists have incorporated Buddhism into therapy by teaching mindfulness meditation practices, and the power of observing our own thoughts and emotions rather than trying to get rid of them.

KCRW’s Jonathan Bastian talks with Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist who has spent decades studying Buddhism, meditation, and the incorporation of Eastern thought into her Western practice. She holds a PhD in clinical psychology, and has spent dozens of years studying Buddhism and meditation. Brach, one of the most sought-after Buddist teachers in America, explains why the stillness of meditation is “exquisite,” and how the simplest of acts may be the purest. Her books include “Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha,” “True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart,” and most recently, “Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness.”

This week Rabbi Steve Leder on why we should consider what we leave those closest to us when we die to include a legacy letter or ‘ethical will.’ Rabbi Leder reminds us that it’s not only our material possessions that matter when we’re no longer around but what will be cherished most are our words, our guidance, and our love and gratitude.

​This episode with Rabbi Steve Leder was originally broadcast, May 28th 2022

Potawatomi botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer discusses the philosophy of a “gift economy” in her latest book The Serviceberry, expanding on the theme of reciprocity from her 2013 book Braiding Sweetgrass.

At a time of increasing consumerism and declining natural resources, gifting, Kimmerer reminds us, is a truly renewable resource. She draws on the example of the serviceberry and its remarkable ability to give:

“In my Potawatomi language, the word for berry ‘min’ is also the root word for gift and for gift giving. So when you see them hanging there ... They're just meant to attract us, right? And they do! They have what we need in sweetness, flavor, and calories. Every time I pick berries, it just opens that sense of ‘I didn't work for these. I didn't deserve these. I don't own these, and yet here they are in my bowl.’”

The serviceberry works as a simple metaphor for Kimmerer to explain why the “gift economy” is so ecologically important. Kimmerer explains that a small dish of berries can multiply with every exchange. Its currency isn’t measured in dollars and cents, but in the sense of community and relationships that gifting and gratitude fosters.

“The goods and services that economics are meant to provide for us, they are material, they are the things that we need in order to live,” Kimmerer continues. “Those are often commodities, but the things that we hold most precious, like pure water, the taste of wild berries, and the regard of our neighbors — the trust of our neighbors — those can never be commodified. For those, we have a ‘gift economy.’”

The Serviceberry is an invitation to think about how we live our lives. Drawing on native beliefs and traditions, Kimmerer explains that the abundant fruits of the humble serviceberry serve as a sweet reminder of our interdependence. It reminds us that all flourishing is mutual, “from bees, to birds, to microbes, to us.”

With the limitations of resources and the finite nature of water and minerals — we should strive for an “economy of balance rather than growth.”

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This week clinical psychologist and author Dacher Keltner delves into the science and mysteries surrounding awe and shares that awe is not just found in nature or music but most often in the moral beauty of other people.

​This episode with Dacher Keltner was originally broadcast, February 4th, 2023