Episodes

  • The Year End Check In: Reflection, Rest and Rediscovery

    The Year End Check In: Reflection, Rest and Rediscovery
    Dec 11 2024
    When Middle Man was conceived earlier this year it was with a hunch that if I felt the way I did in midlife, then other men must be feeling the same way. Little did I know that quite so many men were feeling quite so disconnected, frustrated and alone. This week’s episode provides some tips on using the holiday season to put yourself in the best possible place for positive change in 2025, and it also revisits those first couple of episodes to look at how things have progressed since then, both for me and for Middle Man’s listeners. I’m sharing a little more about the ups and downs of my own journey out of the midlife funk I talked about back in the summer. And I’m re-introducing three guests who have featured on the show before: Andrew Waddell, Daniel Glyde and Nick Edgar. Each offers advice for using the holiday period to set positive goals for next year, providing valuable strategies, from writing a future self letter to engaging in physical activity and having meaningful conversations. If you’ve found Middle Man insightful or interesting or helpful, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-reflection-rest-rediscovery I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    39 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Modern Masculinity with Tom Stroud

    Midlife Stories: Modern Masculinity with Tom Stroud
    Dec 4 2024
    Shifting dynamics around masculinity have meant that it has come under fire in recent years, largely due to the unrepresentative viewpoints of an extremely vocal minority of outspoken public figures. But there are also those out there seeking to redefine modern masculinity in positive terms and to help men to navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and accountability. Tom Stroud appeared on the Netflix show ‘Love is Blind UK’ in the summer, and has since chosen to use the platform he’s been given to challenge perceptions of modern masculinity rather than pursuing brand deals. This week Paul talks candidly to Tom about his personal journey, including the impact of his childhood and recent spells of introspection, and about why he feels a passion for helping men to improve their relationships and their mental health. Tom shares insights into the challenges men face in embracing vulnerability and self-awareness, highlighting the importance of redefining traditional gender roles and expectations. And he emphasises the importance of men understanding themselves and their roles, advocating for a balanced approach to gender equality. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-tom-stroud I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com If you enjoy this episode you can support the podcast by buying me a coffee at Ko-Fi
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    45 mins
  • Becoming Unstuck and Leading Yourself to Fulfilment

    Becoming Unstuck and Leading Yourself to Fulfilment
    Nov 27 2024
    Many men report feeling ‘stuck’ in midlife. Trapped in their lives, no matter how ‘successful’ they may be, with no idea how to change their circumstances and lead lives that are more rewarding and fulfilling. But by exploring emotions, behaviours and values with curiosity rather than judgement, things can change fast. This week Paul talks to Nick Edgar about self leadership, and about the value of self awareness and emotional agility. While the path to self-leadership may seem at first to be a somewhat alien concept and therefore, feel daunting, meaningful change begins with small, consistent steps toward curiosity and compassion, rather than huge life changes. Offering a roadmap for men seeking to reclaim their identity, purpose, and fulfilment, Nick also introduces the concept of self-soothing behaviours, and discusses how to identify these patterns and understand their root causes. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-self-leadership I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    52 mins
  • Understanding the Role of Shame in the Midlife Crisis

    Understanding the Role of Shame in the Midlife Crisis
    Nov 20 2024
    Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis. This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of shame and about how and why it may negatively impact men in midlife. Rob explains how shame contributes heavily to the feeling of unworthiness that many midlife men report, resulting in an emotional crisis of behaviour and mental wellbeing. Shame plays a central role in shaping our behaviours, relationships, and sense of worth, and left uncontained, the self judgement and criticism that can result from this can be extremely harmful. The need to understand and address shame to mitigate its impact on mental health and behaviour is therefore incredibly important. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-shame-midlife-crisis I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    48 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess

    Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess
    Nov 13 2024
    Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, who shares his journey of rediscovering purpose and meaning while navigating self-doubt, and explains how speaking with others on his podcast has broadened his understanding of what it means to embrace change. Simon reflects on how conversations with others have highlighted common themes, including the role of intuition, self-awareness, and the courage to make transformative life changes. He talks about how these individuals have often found meaning by stepping beyond self-limiting beliefs and embracing uncertainty but how, for him, the process of change is ongoing and challenging. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-simon-burgess I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    47 mins
  • The Impact of Stress: How to Recognise, Manage and Prevent Burnout

    The Impact of Stress: How to Recognise, Manage and Prevent Burnout
    Nov 6 2024
    Long-term exposure to chronic stress can reduce life expectancy by anything from two to twenty years. It is estimated that one in nine UK adults feels stressed every single day, while three-quarters have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope at some point in the past year. This week Paul talks to stress expert Katie Maycock about the harsh realities of burnout and the impact it can have on the physical and mental health of midlife men. Katie takes Paul through the six stages of burnout, revealing how seemingly small behaviours can escalate rapidly from heightened productivity to full physical, mental and emotional shutdown. As well as sharing her own uniquely personal experiences, Katie also shares her proven three-pillar approach to building resilience and, for those beginning to feel the weight of burnout, Katie provides practical tips for daily self-awareness and simple, impactful routines to break the cycle before it escalates. This is a must-listen show for anyone seeking actionable strategies to manage stress, boost resilience, and improve overall wellbeing. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-stress-anxiety-burnout I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Why Don't Midlife Men Get The Help They Need?

    Why Don't Midlife Men Get The Help They Need?
    Oct 30 2024
    Many midlife men struggle with emotional pressures, feeling frustrated, lonely, stressed and lost. And they often feel unheard, reluctant or unable to speak up for fear of ridicule or rejection. But when it comes to self-help, there is a question that looms large: is there a lack of information for midlife men, or is it that they’re not interested in accessing it? In a bid to answer this discussion, Alice Kearney conducted research into what resources are available for midlife men and into what men’s feelings are about the topic. The results seemed to highlight that there’s a lack of interest in seeking help until such point as there is no other option. This is in contrast to women, who actively seek support. The research also highlighted a lack of midlife role models for men, a dearth of online communities despite an apparent willingness to embrace these, and the need for more information and support tailored to midlife men. Could it be that addressing this gap could help men better navigate midlife challenges before they reach breaking point? You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-why-men-help-themselves I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    47 mins
  • How to Live a Soft Life

    How to Live a Soft Life
    Oct 23 2024
    A couple of years ago a trend called ‘the soft life’ started to emerge on the internet. But unlike most other internet trends, this one has particular relevance to midlife men, focusing as it does on emotional wellbeing and self-care. A strong advocate for the soft life is Dr Sarah Nicholls, an A&E doctor, burnout coach and YouTuber who embraced this way of living after experiencing her own spell of burnout. This week Paul talks to Sarah about living a life that reduces stress and instead priorities mental wellbeing, ease and personal fulfilment. Sarah explains how adopting a soft life helped her manage anxiety and insomnia, and allows her to navigate stressful situations more calmly and productively. She talks about the value of making time for oneself and practising self-compassion, and about how adopting small daily habits can make a significant difference over time. The conversation also addresses the need to recognise and address chronic stress, which can lead to a loss of identity and joy. And it discusses how living a soft life is about making mindful decisions to create a more balanced, joyful, and fulfilling existence. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-soft-life I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    52 mins