We recorded this Dec 23, 2024. We decided to sneak one in during Christmas week and when we connected for the pre game, neither of us had any ideas about what might make a good topic

Then we shared a couple of real "what just happened" stories and AI was a common theme. So we decided to share our genius

I didn't edit or listen to this episode for the first time in 3 years. I think it'll be good

Learn how to make fun of yourself and recognize how little you know

Mark & Jim

Hey all. We began with a New Years, year-end, goal setting theme within the context of some JIm Rohn quotes

What we ended up with is an in depth reflection on Jim Rohn's wisdom and how much of it might be very helpful as we plan for what's next

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Mark leads with year-end, new year and goal setting as topics. The context is the wisdom of Jim Rohn.

Our Jim loves Rohn and brought some quotes as foundations for our episode

Jim says it’s the past, present and future approach

He reflects on being in sales and the goal setting and metrics of sales

Jim shares his opinion of Jim Rohn and how timeless his wisdom is

Jim says 2024 was a year of real change and events that will shape us forever. Decisive

AI, new administration, mainstream news failing…

Two Rohn quotes…

“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better”

“To get what you want, you give others what they want”

Mark says wisdom is wisdom and if it’s helpful, you’ll find it in all works (Twain, Stoics, Bible…)

Jim brings up Rohn’s optimism and patriotism. The value of hard work and possibilities

Mark brings up that hope, optimism and wisdom are choices. You seek them or you don’t

Mark read’s Jim G’s Rohn quotes

Formal education and self education. Jim describes his own self education journey. Mark reflects on his experience with education and quotes Twain. Education became indoctrination

Control - “Either you run the day or the day runs you”. Jim brings in our wheel framework and the self (awareness and control). Mark shares how all the “Selfs” work together

Discipline - “Success is nothing more than a few disciplines practiced every day”. Mark frames this as “showing up”

Prepared, on time, with a good attitude. Mark reflects that all the good stuff is hard, but it’s simple. Jim brings up sports and how critical showing up is, not just talent. He then cites the high cost of being the best. Mark brings up his father and brother being pilots

The Pain Of Discipline - Choosing discipline or choosing regret. Jim shares “I’d rather die in my world than live in someone else’s with regret”. Better or bitter. Mark talks about his regrets in terms of how he processes his regrets. Jim - Life is hard and if it’s not, you’re not trying hard enough”

Mark tells his “Get A Helmet” story

Jim says it dangerous to tell kids that things should be easy. Mark reflects on “rub some dirt on it” and “No pain no gain”. The Vince Lombardi era

Mark asks about the happy medium between pain and fortitude

Walls - The walls we build around us to keep sadness out, also keep the joy out

Jim has one more…

If you don’t design your own plan…

Peoples problems are always more important than yours

Mark recommends Jim Rohn, Mark Twain and the Stoics

Mark introduces the topic of self awareness. He shares that their “pregame” discussion was very self reflective. He suggests that the time of year, as well as some other personal events from Jim’s life and Mark’s have the guys a bit mired in self reflection and self awareness

Mark reads a couple of quotes Jim brought to the recording. One secular (Stoic) and one Biblical (Thomas)

Jim shares some context for his quotes and shares his position on self awareness and what’s going on in his life

Jim reflects on yesterday being the 5 year anniversary of his father’s death. He says to really understand yourself, you have to go back in time. Family history and stories. Jim came across some photos of his dad he’d never seen before. Then he reflects a bit on his grandparents (4 grandparents/four quadrants - that shape you)

Jim asks about Mark’s conversation with his dad and comments about “peeling back Jim’s onion”

He talks about piling multiple issues all on top at once and how that makes tough stuff even tougher

Are we getting more “Imperfect” or more self aware

Mark shares his mom and dad’s influence and then describes his memories of his grandfathers…not from memory but from stories

Jim returns to our fathers and specifically his relationship with his father. How he has gained appreciation and gratitude for his dad since his death. Jim also suggests that he’s grown too

Mark gives Jim kudos for being personally accountable with all these things for being responsible for his response to hardship and challenge. Learning from his experiences

Mark shares that his dad also had 10 brothers and sisters too. Both guys are also middle children

Mark shares his self image

Jim shares another saying/quote about virtues and vices

They discuss both. Jim thinks we all strive to be the best versions of ourselves

Mark reflects on being fathers of young adult kids and what fathers face as their kids get older - more people more problems How to navigate these additional relationships. They joke about the meaning of love and different types of love

Intimacy, jealousy, all the emotions

Mark says it’s also a function of the time of year

Jim shares his experience going through the photos of his dad. He got them touched up - colorized and they came to life. He reflects about how his father tried to discuss these things with Jim when he was younger

Mark brings up his mom’s suicide and how his feelings have evolved as time has gone by. For his kids too

Mark says self awareness enables us to address and feel these things

Jim asks Mark to speak more about his mom. Mark talks about his younger brother and how he feels like he inherited his troubles from his mother

Mark goes deep on his mom’s suicide story. How he went from anger to sadness to forgiveness and empathy/love

Mark is grateful for her now. He sees her asa troubled soul

Jim says we’re all troubled souls

Mark thinks there are two types of people. Melancholy and not melancholy

Jim asks about Mark’s father. Mark says his dad was the exact opposite. He shares his parents divorce and some of the details

Jim asks more about Mark’s mom. Did he recognize his mom’s condition when he was young

Mark oversimplifies the impact his parents had on his 3 siblings and himself. He shares some suicide and addiction reflections

Jim begins to wrap up and Mark adds a takeaway

We are all going through stuff. We’re not alone

Mark loves the 4 quadrant approach of your 4 grandparents

Jim reflects on how this episode relates to our flywheel

Relationships and worldview

As our family members get older…more episode material:)

Mark introduces the episode and frames it around the holidays, the challenges therein and the notion that “the more people the more problems”

Jim says the topic is timely and he connects it to our flywheel of life…all starting with the self. He shares his opinion on the more people topic and heightened emotions

Mark adds New Years and all the prep before the holidays. He cites the pressure the woman are under

Jim laughs about being through 50 of these. He says it means more, the younger you are…we’ve seen this movie

Mark talks about the evolution from childhood to present holiday state. The expectations are so different. Mark says, as a guy, he doesn’t really care about the details

Jim brings up the idea of more than one family…more chaotic

Jim goes around the wheel, starting with money. Mark tells some stories about traveling versus staying at home

Jim mentions health. Physical and mental. Everybody gets a little crazy. Mark cites anxiety. You don’t know what might happen. Alcohol comes out…

Mark jokes about dietary restrictions. He tells about the football game we played and how snow and alcohol changed it and then it stopped

Mark talks about being the boss versus being on holiday. No rules or systems

Jim talks about gifts he gave his clients for the holidays

Mark brings us back to today. This past holiday and how fragmented the family unit is now

Jim shifts to relationships and the difference between men and women during the holidays

Next is worldview. Politics and childhood

Red team and blue team

Religion and nationality

Mark goes back to the men and women thing. Parade versus the football game. How it was when he was a child

Back to worldview. Mark thinks people can’t avoid these topics. Jim says it’s why he went to Mexico:). 85 and sunny…no political drama

30 days later we have Christmas coming up. Jim says Xmass is better. More festive. Both guys share Christmas stories. Comparison. Who has what and who makes what…

Mark talks about forming new traditions as his family evolved and changed

Mark shares his holiday ZOOM call with his kids and more traditions and stories

Jim shares his Santa suit tradition and some related stories

Then Mark shares his “Santa’s coming” bells

Manipulative and fun at the same time. The guys talk about when the kids figure out Santa

Mark brings up religion as things evolved and how different faiths come in

Jim brings up midnight Mass and hook ups. Catching up and reconnecting…and more fights

Mark brings up the anticipation of the New Year. A new start. New Years resolutions

All the emotions. Guilt, anxiety, disappointment. The New Year adds to the emotional whirlwind

Mark ends with how important being in the moment is during all the holiday chaos

Jim ends with gratitude

Mark introduces the episode with some context about where today's topic came from

Jim had a speech to give last week and on the drive he teed up our last episode about writng a letter to your 21 year old self

In that episode we mentioned the 80/20 rule, aka, The Pareto Principle

He talked about how he wove it into his speech and how it resonate with the audience

Then the guys broke down the history of the rule and how universal it's application became over time

Both guys gave examples of it in their lives with an emphasis on work/business/productivity

Then Jim went over the multitude of other applications in life where the principle also applied

Virtually anywhere you could apply metrics/data and/or percentages...the 80/20 rule applies

Mark starts off introducing the topic which revolves around the presidential election of 2024. What do we do now?

Jim and Mark are more interested in addresing what actually happened, why it may have happened and what we might expect to happen next

What do we do now?

We went back and forth about the blue team and red team. No judgement

It's not what happens to you, it's how you respond...

We talked about elitism and messaging. How the blue team continued the division and condescension

We discussed how diverse the turnout was from the red team (ironically)

We left on an optimistic note. The system worked and now we have much work to do

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Due to a technical glitch (my fault most likely), I lost my show notes to the ether. The summary above should capture the essence of my notes

This is the best that my memeory will allow:)

Mark introduces the topic of communication and within that general topic, the subtopic of persuasion. He then emphasizes the value of having a framework. He puts our framework in perspective

Jim chimes in about the idea of having a framework and emphasizes the IMC framework

Jim shares his 5 W’s framework and how helpful it has been for him in a variety of projects. How it adds perspective for both parties

He shares the value of effective people being clear

Jim asks Mark about his framework

Mark shares his childhood influences around communication and then his framework

What do you say?

How do you say it?

To whom do you say it?

When do you say it?

Both guys agree they made their frameworks theirs…no matter where it came from

Mark brings up the image Jim shared and begins to share the examples of lazy responses versus helpful responses

The guys dig into examples of how powerful specific words are and how changing a word can change the tone of the whole conversation

Problem versus “opportunity” or “challenge”

All the specific examples from Jim’s image become the conversations

Each example uncovers how simple shifts, different words change the whole tone and emotion of the conversation

Both guys share their experience with each example and how they have both made the mistake of using the lazy language and relearned the helpful response

They both emphasize the importance of not apologizing. Never apologize unless you’ve done real wrong

Mark shares - don’t say, “to be honest with you”. “Frank” or Jim’s option “transparent”

They discuss transparency as a double edged sword

“I’m too busy” means I’m too busy for you

They both have a laugh about “too busy”

“That’s not my” job versus, “let me get you to the right person”

Mark shares his mentor’s story about personal accountability

“I’ll try” versus “I’ll take care of it”. Jim has a different angle on this one

Mark frames it as personal accountability. I won’t dismiss you, we’ll get it taken care of

Apologizing comes up again and both guys reiterate the problem with saying you’re sorry

Jim uses “I own that one”. “That one’s on me”. Take ownership

Mark - “sorry never works for me unless you really fucked something up”

Mark shares some media examples of how apologies become bigger problems

Jim says behaviors are more important than words - Mark agrees

The next example is disagreement - “You’re wrong” versus “I have a different perspective on this than you and I’d like to share it with you”

Jim cites people who actually enjoy conflict to garner attention

“This might sound stupid but…” versus “Let’s try this.” Naysayers are everywhere

Jim agrees as an inventor he always shares new ideas…the value of reframing ideas until consensus is established

Mark brings up Jordan Peterson talking about Elon Musk and comparison (Elon’s roommate story)

Jim - All comparison leads to misery

Jim shares “I have an hypothesis” versus a theory. An hypothesis is designed to be challenged…designed to be criticized

He shares the difference between an hypothesis and a theory

A theory has been proven. An hypothesis has not yet been proven

“No worries”… “I’m happy to help”

Both guys discuss the nuance of this one

Mark feels like “no worries” is kind of a throw away

They conclude that this whole exercise is an exercise in self awareness

The final example is recommending something to someone

‘I think maybe we should” versus “I recommend we do this…”

Jim says “I think” makes him feel like “Why should I listen to you”

Mark finishes with his 4 pronged framework

He confirms that listening and asking questions before speaking is almost always the best strategy

Jim finishes with the value of clarifying assumptions, discussing desired outcomes, “who, not how” and what are the necessary resources?

Mark shares his support of this as authentic…for both parties