Tips for Parenting Youngsters

By: Cathy Barker
  • Summary

  • Hi, I'm Cathy, and I'm on a mission to help parents reach their full potential and create a nurturing and safe family environment. I am not here to beat you up for your past parenting indiscretions or mistakes, but instead to focus on three critical pillars that I learned from being a parent and grandparent that turned myself and my family life around. My three pillars are; assertive communication, conflict resolutions and setting healthy boundaries.
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Episodes
  • Meaning of Persistence: A Legacy Worth Leaving or Just Another Buzzword?
    Jan 9 2025
    Meaning of Persistence: A Legacy Worth Leaving or Just Another Buzzword? Key Points Meaning of Persistence8 Key Factors to Develop PersistenceThe 16 Symptoms of a Lack of PersistenceOvercoming the Fear of Criticism: A Barrier to Persistence4 Ways to Develop PersistenceThe Power of Persistence: A Legacy Worth Leaving Meaning of Persistence Persistence is sticking to something even when it’s hard. It’s about not giving up, no matter how often you fall or fail. Hill said it best: “The majority of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes overboard and give up at the first sign of opposition or misfortune. A few carry on despite all opposition until they attain their goal.” Why is persistence so important? Achieving goals is important, but the real value lies in the person you become. Every time you push through challenges, you build confidence, pick up new skills, and grow your belief in yourself. 8 Key Factors to Develop Persistence Persistence is a mindset, which means it’s something you can grow and strengthen. Like any other state of mind, it relies on specific foundations. Here are the key factors that help develop persistence from the chapter: A Clear PurposeKnowing what you want gives you a reason to keep going, even when things get complicated. It’s like having a compass to guide you through tough times.A Strong DesireWhen you want something, you’ll have the energy to push forward. Desire fuels the determination to keep trying, no matter what.Belief in YourselfConfidence in your ability to succeed makes it easier to stay the course. When you trust yourself, giving up doesn’t feel like an option.A Solid PlanHaving a step-by-step plan keeps you on track. Knowing what to do next makes it easier to keep moving forward.The Right KnowledgeActing on facts instead of guesses helps you avoid unnecessary mistakes. The more you know, the more confident and persistent you’ll be.Supportive PeopleSurrounding yourself with people who cheer you on makes a big difference. A strong support system can keep you motivated when the going gets tough.WillpowerStaying focused and disciplined, even when distractions arise, is key. Willpower helps you overcome the difficult parts.Good HabitsPersistence becomes more manageable when it’s part of your daily routine. Building good habits trains your mind to keep going without overthinking it. The 16 Symptoms of a Lack of Persistence Here are 16 signs that show a lack of persistence and the deeper reasons behind them. Be honest with yourself about this list. If you want to find out what you’re capable of and go after what you want, these are the challenges you’ll need to work on. Lack of Clear GoalsIt’s easy to give up if you're unsure of your goals. Goals give you direction and purpose.ProcrastinationPutting things off until tomorrow often means they don’t get done. Action is key to progress. As Nike says, “Just Do It!”Fear of CriticismWorrying about what others think can stop you from trying. Confidence grows when you focus on your path.IndecisionHesitating too long to make choices can cause missed opportunities. Decisiveness builds momentum.Relying on ExcusesMaking excuses holds you back. Taking responsibility for your actions leads to growth.Lack of DisciplineWithout self-control, it’s easy to stray from your goals. Discipline helps you stay on track.Weak DesiresIf you don’t honestly want something, you won’t work hard for it. Strong desires fuel persistence.Giving Up Too SoonQuitting at the first sign of trouble means you never see what’s possible. Pushing through challenges builds resilience.Lack of EffortSuccess takes hard work. Period! Half-hearted attempts rarely lead to lasting results.Not Learning from MistakesRepeating the same errors shows a lack of growth. Mistakes are opportunities to improve. As the saying goes, "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity."Fear of FailureBeing afraid to fail can prevent you from starting. However, failure is simply a stepping stone on the journey to success.Unwillingness to ChangeSticking to what’s comfortable prevents progress. Growth requires trying new things.Poor PlanningWithout a clear plan, it’s easy to feel lost. Planning gives you a roadmap to follow. I use an acronym, O.P.E. “O” stands for organize. I get whatever I need to in an orderly fashion, such as files, data or whatever. “P” stands for Plan. Then, I go over what I have organized and make a plan. “E” is Execute. Put my plan into action. Blaming OthersShifting responsibility to others keeps you stuck. Taking ownership of your journey empowers you.Lack of EnthusiasmWithout excitement for your goals, persistence fades. Passion helps you keep going.Not Surrounding Yourself with SupportGoing it alone can be challenging. Having a team of cheerleaders keeps you motivated and accountable. Overcoming the Fear of Criticism: A Barrier to Persistence ...
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    19 mins
  • How the 1% Rule Can Make You Question Everything About Success
    Jan 2 2025
    How the 1% Rule Can Make You Question Everything About Success Key Points What Does Consistency Mean?The Benefits of Being ConsistentWhy Is It Hard to Stay Consistent?Self-Sabotage: Causes How to Overcome Self-SabotageConsistency in a Relationship with Your KidsConsistency in a Relationship with Your PartnerConclusion: Why Consistency is the Key to Success What Does Consistency Mean? Consistency is about being dependable and regular in your actions, thoughts, and decisions. It means doing things the same way over time, with predictability and reliability. When you're consistent, you build trust in yourself. Think of consistency like planting seeds. You don't just plant them once and forget about them—you water them regularly, nurture them, and give them time to grow. Consistency is what you do to reach your goals, even when life gets busy and demanding. The Benefits of Being Consistent Consistency offers numerous benefits. Here are 5 of the main ones: Builds Trust: People know they can count on you when you're consistent. Consistency helps build trust with your kids, partner, or friends. Trust is super important in any good relationship.Creates Stability: Being consistent makes life feel more steady. It keeps you focused and calm, even when things get complicated.It Encourages Self-Discipline. Staying consistent means sticking to your plans, even when you don't feel like it. Consistency helps you develop self-discipline, which is key to reaching big goals.Leads to Better Results: Small, steady efforts add up over time. Whether you're getting healthier, advancing at work, or strengthening a relationship, consistency helps you keep improving. Have you heard of the compound effect or the 1% rule? It's a simple but powerful concept: you can achieve massive results over time by making minor, daily improvements. Even though 1% might seem like a tiny change, those little improvements add up when you consistently build on them. By the end of the year, you'll have made a 365% improvement—meaning you've effectively grown your effort nearly 37 times! This 1% rule shows consistency can lead to incredible progress, even in small steps.Reduces Stress: When you're consistent, you know what to expect. Consistency reduces the stress that comes from uncertainty or last-minute changes. Why Is It Hard to Stay Consistent? Staying consistent sounds simple, but life often throws challenges that make it difficult. Understanding the common reasons for inconsistency can help you address them and get back on track. 1. Not Having Clear Goals It's easy to lose focus when you don't have clear goals. You feel like you're all over the place or unsure why you're even trying. 2. Perfectionism The desire to do things perfectly can stop you from doing them. If you feel like you're not doing something "right," you will likely give up entirely. 3. Lack of Motivation Motivation comes and goes. It can be hard to keep going when the initial excitement fades, especially when the results aren't immediate, like losing weight or working on your finances. Build habits instead of relying on motivation. Habits make actions automatic, so you don't need to rely on how you feel in the moment. A great book on building habits is Atomic Habits by James Clear. 4. Trying to Do Too MuchWhen you take on too many things at once, it can feel like too much to handle. Balancing work, family, and personal goals can make it hard to stick with anything. 5. Getting DistractedSo many things can distract us, like social media or surprise events, making it challenging to stay on track. Instead, set yourself up for success. Turn off notifications when you need to focus or create a specific space to work on important tasks. 6. Being Afraid to Mess Up Some people believe we should avoid failure at all costs, but I believe failure is one of the most important experiences we can have. It's okay to fail because it teaches valuable lessons and helps us grow. Instead of fearing failure, we should embrace it and use it as an opportunity to learn and improve. When we fail, it doesn't mean we've given up—it means we're learning how to keep going and get better. 7. No One to Keep You on TrackIt's easy to forget your plans when no one checks in on you. Having someone to share your goals with can help. Self-Sabotage: Causes Self-sabotage occurs when your actions or lack of actions interfere with your goals. It's not just about being distracted by outside things; it's also about the thoughts or habits that prevent you from progressing. Fear of SuccessSometimes, reaching your goal can feel scary. You might worry about the changes or extra responsibilities that come with success. It can feel easier to stay where you are instead of moving forward. Low Self-WorthIf you don't believe you deserve success, you might unconsciously avoid taking the steps needed to achieve it. Low self-worth manifests as procrastination, perfectionism, or deliberately undermining your ...
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    17 mins
  • The Fear Factor: How to Transform Fear Into Fuel For Success 2025
    Dec 26 2024
    The Fear Factor: How to Transform Fear Into Fuel For Success 2025 Key Points What Is Fear?Types of FearsAcronym for FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)The Fear FactorHow to Transform Fear Into Fuel For Success 2025 What Is Fear? Fear is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. It appears when we face something new, unknown, or potentially dangerous. Emotions run deep within us, and sometimes they feel so powerful that we think we won’t make it through if we face them. So, we push them down or try to ignore them—until they build up and burst out, causing harm to ourselves and others. Think of yourself as a lighthouse. Your emotions, for example, fear, are like the waves crashing below. Some are small ripples, small fears, and others are huge and stormy, but the lighthouse stands strong, shining its light through it all. You might feel the impact of those waves, but you are steady, bright, and more powerful than the storms around you. Fear protects us but also holds us back, especially when we perceive things as scarier than they truly are. Understanding fear and learning how to manage it is a skill that can benefit both you and your kids. Also, fear is an emotional response to a real or perceived threat. It’s like an alarm system in our brains, alerting us to danger. When we feel fear, our bodies react by sweating, our hearts might race, or we might feel like running away. It is called the "fight, flight, or freeze" response, and it’s our body’s way of keeping us safe. However, not all our fears are about actual danger. Some are about things we worry might happen or situations that make us feel unsure of ourselves, such as reaching for our hopes and dreams. What is one hope or dream you have for 2025? Put it in the comments. Types of Fears Not all fears are the same. Here are the main types: Physical Fears: These fears are concerns about safety, such as health risks or physical challenges.Emotional Fears: Such as worries tied to feelings like fear of rejection, failure, or disappointment.Social Fears: These are fears about being judged, fitting in, or speaking up.Imaginary Fears: Fear of things that aren’t real or are unlikely to happen. By identifying the type of fear, you can take steps to address it more effectively. Put in the comments your biggest fear! I’ll be sharing mine later in the episode. Acronym for FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) The common acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, but here is another one I am using this year by Zig Zigler, Face Everything And Rise. I am modifying that one by adding up to Rise, Face Everything And Riseup. This simple reminder encourages me to tackle challenges head-on. When I change my mindset, it isn’t about being fearless—it’s about acting despite my fears. The Fear Factor Here’s the thing: fear is the biggest obstacle to achieving our goals. It whispers, “Cathy, You can’t do this,” or “What if you fail?” But the truth is that growth only happens when we step outside our comfort zones. By facing our fears, we aren’t just opening the door to personal success—we’re setting a powerful example for the people around us, inspiring them to do the same, especially our children and grandchildren. Be that inspiration! This time of year, we are inundated with weight loss ads, SMART goal setting and motivational affirmations to help us reach our goals. This year, I am listing my fears to Face Everything and Riseup. Here are my top 5 fears I want to face this year: I want to get in front of the camera and not hide behind my microphone. To do this, I want to have guests for my podcast. In a couple of weeks, I will be recording video and audio with a dear friend, a fellow podcaster and author, about setting goals for the year. I was going just to use the audio, but I will upload both. What’s the worst that can happen? People make negative comments about my looks. Who cares. That reflects them, and their words will not stop me. They are just words!! Face Everything And Riseup! I am travelling solo. I thought I was going to Phoenix, Arizona, in February to accept my children’s book award, but the tickets are sold out. That will not stop me from travelling somewhere in 2025 by myself. I haven’t travelled solo in over five years. What am I fearing about it? My thoughts are, Cathy, you are nearing seventy. What if you have a medical emergency and you don’t have family? I know The Universe has my back. Face Everything And Riseup! Trusting my instincts because my instincts never fail me. This ties in with mindfulness. Too often, I have not trusted my instincts and listened to others, only to be mad at myself for not listening to my intuition. I remember this one time; in particular, I was heading out the door to go somewhere and heard that small voice saying, take your camera. It was sitting right there on the chair in front of me. My thought was, why do I need it? I couldn’t think of a ...
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    19 mins

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