Showing results by narrator "Georgia Bird" in All Categories

Amy is on the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree, but after visiting every lot in Billings, she’s begging to worry that the perfect Christmas tree doesn’t actually exist. In a moment of inspiration, Amy attempts to get to the heart of the season by traipsing into the snow covered hillside and finding the perfect tree for herself, but what she discovers is so much more.

Michelle has been tasked with watching her friend's dog, Lucky, over the weekend. It's a simple task, but when Lucky escapes, things get complicated. Fortunately, Michelle finds help in a kind T-Rex named Lara, who accompanies Michelle on her journey across town in search of this missing pup.

Jill doesn’t want to be left out of her friend’s upcoming ski trip, but soon enough, she finds herself caught in a little white lie that won’t stop snowballing. Despite insisting she can handle herself on the slopes, Jill has no idea how to ski. Hoping to correct this, Jill hatches a plan to sneak off for crash course lessons from the best instructor on the mountain, a beautiful sentient twice baked potato named Brimm. Unfortunately, the only thing crashing is Jill.

After moving into her new home, Mina suffers from an unfortunate car accident that takes her life and transforms her into a very confused ghost. She’s also horrified to find that her new home is being purchased by someone else. Mina makes a few modest attempts at scaring away her unwanted housemates, but to no avail. However, after finding a strange refrigerator in the attic, Mina discovers another approach. Within the fridge is a sentient juice box named Buttlejuice, a wild woman with green hair and a plan to rid the house of its living inhabitants by means of carnal lesbian lust.

A terrifying scream rings out through the woods of Sleepy Butthole. Could this be the work of the Headless Buttwoman, a sentient pumpkin who’s always giving head but never receiving it? If your butt is already tingling as ferociously as ours, then this is the collection for you. Presenting Scary Stories to Tingle Your Lesbian Butt, a seven book collection of the most toe-curling tales to ever get you off.

Jasmine is a big city girl who’s been dragged out to the rodeo for a friend’s birthday party, and she’s having trouble fitting in with the country lifestyle. When Jasmine meets a beautiful pterodactyl named Rimbler, however, she lets down her guard to talk a little trash on the festivities.

When Mary spots a strange and mysterious "S" symbol, she can’t help feeling like she’s seen it before. Is it the logo for the Stummy clothing company from the '90s? Some piece of art that just happens to pop up in subconscious minds all across the world? Determined to learn the origin of this universal S, Mary begins a quest for knowledge that takes her across the globe, eventually arriving at a face-to-face encounter with the physical manifestation of this stylized "S" herself.

Sarah and her wife Alice love Halloween and all things spooky, but their friends are not quite as excited about this upcoming season. After a series of canceled plans, the lesbian couple are feeling frustrated, but when they meet their new neighbors, they immediately find the perfect double date in the form of these beautiful sentient candy corns.

Gabby loves Halloween, but her husband Cork doesn’t want her to celebrate after Gabby’s excitement starts making him jealous. Fortunately, this is the last straw that Gabby needs before dumping his ass and heading out to live her truth. Now Gabby’s realizing there are plenty of desires she’s always had and never been able to experience, like Halloween and other women. Soon enough, Gabby is allowing herself to experience the things that truly make her happy.

Allison has been highly trained in the realm of manners and etiquette and is desperate for a job in hospitality. Unfortunately, England is all out of jobs, prompting her to embark on a journey to the new world and a position at Billings Manor. Once arriving in Billings, however, Allison is treated without a shred of dignity from her new boss, Mrs. Glibber.

Call me horny. These are the words of Captain Amber as she gazes out across the vast ocean, searching for Moby Butt. Years ago, Captain Amber and her living butt lover decided to play an erotic game of cat and mouse, but nobody could’ve expected it would turn into this. Despite protests from the crew, beautiful lesbian Captain Amber refuses to use her safe word and end this erotic scenario, but she’s about to learn the importance of playing in a responsible way, and that there’s nothing wrong or embarrassing about calling things off.

Sally works outside the office and spends most of her time enjoying the peace and quiet of her local library. Today, however, something feels off. It turns out the whole place is just slightly colder than usual. Sally approaches the front counter for answers and quickly finds herself face to face with a sentient ice cream librarian named Drenda. When Sally realizes she’s getting twice as much done with the slightly colder air, she wants to give thanks to this beautiful dessert. Unfortunately, Drenda has been fired, sending Sally on a journey of lesbian love through The Tingleverse.

After returning to her small town of Christmas Falls from a life in the big city, Kelsi is hoping to start fresh with her very own chocolate milk brewery. Things are going well, but when she receives a letter from a secret admirer and instructions to wait until Christmas before opening, her business skyrockets. Everyone in town is wondering who Kelsi’s Christmas admirer might be. Could it be the sentient manifestation of a holiday film featuring a vanilla couple on the cover who works across the street at a rival chocolate milk brewery?

Like most people, Karly’s Thanksgiving is a little different this year. Karly’s family is celebrating over video chat instead, which is great, but after a frozen microwave dinner, Karly ends up feeling as though she’s only had half a Thanksgiving. This prompts her to head to the grocery store for a traditional holiday meal of her own. It’s here that Karly meets Bindle, a sexy, sentient cranberry sauce who promises to give her the full Thanksgiving experience. This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human-on-cranberry sauce action and hardcore lesbian food love.

Thanks to a job interview with biotech company Rubble Labs, tomorrow is one of the most important days of Jenn’s life. She’s more than prepared, and her resume speaks for itself, but after a botched haircut at a new salon, Jenn is scrambling to find someone who can salvage the mess. It’s going to take one of the best stylists in the world, but that’s exactly who Jenn finds when she stumbles upon beautiful Ralla Brims, a mysterious T-Rex barber who cuts the hair that’s best for you, not necessarily best for everyone else.

When Becca, a prison guard at the Chateau Deef, catches a sentient butt tunneling her way to freedom, Becca is suddenly faced with a very important decision. Accepting the living rumps claims of innocence, Becca allows her to escape. Now years later, Becca's socialite party is interrupted by an unexpected guest, The Butt of Monte Cristo. This sentient ass is wealthy and mysterious, and Becca cant help thinking she recognizes her from somewhere.

When Lindsey is offered company tickets to a big game of her favorite baseball team, The Lobsters, she can’t believe her luck. Even more amazing, however, is the man she finds herself sitting next to. Now, the physical manifestation of Ketchup is chatting it up with Lindsey, and erotic tensions are high, but when Ketchup offers some of his own tomato goodness for Lindsey’s empty hot dog, she finds herself craving more. That’s when the beautiful manifestation of Mustard arrives, and soon enough, Lindsey finds herself enjoying both condiments.

Marge and her sentient log friend, Cole, have noticed a stranger at the local diner in Twin Cheeks, but they’re still curious what brings this beautiful T-Rex to their small town. Further investigation reveals this mysterious stranger to be Agent Hale Boober, a dinosaur tasked with seeking out the best cherry pie in Washington State every 25 years. Boober is almost finished with her quest, but there’s one slice left to taste. Unfortunately, the final cherry pie lies between worlds, in a mysterious location known only as The Snack Lodge.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Megan has taken this opportunity to spill her feelings to her friend Alice in a very intimate card. She’s nervous, but fortunately it appears Alice could make the same romantic admission first. There are two candy hearts held within Alice’s envelope, each one of them featuring a startlingly explicit phrase. But is this a message from Alice, or from the candies themselves? The truth is quickly revealed when these sentient bisexual treats reveal their true desires.

Nicole is thrilled to spend the weekend with her friends at Camp Diamond Lake, a secluded campground that used to be all the rage but has since been mysteriously abandoned. It’s only on the drive up that Nicole learns why, hearing the legend of Jesse Voormees, a masked brachiosaurus who stalks the lake at night.