Episode 311: Vaping at the Gym, Crazy Karens & Dumpster Fire Detox

This week, Jay’s calling out chaos, celebrating legends, and laying down some truth bombs you didn’t know you needed. If you’ve ever wanted to fight someone over a shopping cart or scream into the void about people being late—this one’s for you.

🧨 Dumbass of the Week:

• A full-grown adult “Karen” loses it on an 18-year-old front desk staffer—all because they asked for a photo to complete her membership. The tantrum ended with her calling the teen a bitch. Stay classy, Karen.

🙌 Shoutouts of the Week:

• Bob turns 80 and is still crushing life and workouts—Jay’s been training him for 15 years. LEGEND.

• Arlene, thanks for the drinks! You’re what happy hour is all about. 💃

🔁 Jared Update:

• Restraining order? Denied.

• The real question of the week: Chipotle or Panda Express? (Hint: either way, you’ll need a bathroom strategy.)

🚨 Call Out of the Week:

• School zone speeders and maniac drivers—we see you, and we’re putting you in The Box. Drive like someone’s kid lives here. Because they do.

💪 Stuff I See at the Gym:

• Someone vaping inside the gym. Another person hotboxing their car at the red light. Make it make sense.

🛑 A Word From Our Sponsor:

• Buzzed Buddy: Helping you drink smarter, not harder. Protect your liver, brain, and tomorrow’s plans.

🧍‍♂️ Humans In The Wild:

• Utah’s soda addiction is REAL. Like drive-thru soda shops… everywhere.

• A tire literally breaks off a car in the grocery store parking lot.

• Couple on date night at dinner… watching YouTube on their phone the entire time. Romance is not dead—it’s just buffering.

📱 Social Media Shenanigans:

• Local Internet Drama: Two guys from Jay’s area going full keyboard warrior on Facebook.

• Cart Narc is back with another viral “PUT YOUR CART BACK” confrontation. People are WILD.

🧯 Closing Thought of the Week:

“I know I say this all the time… but in a world of pure dumpster fire dumbassery, be the fire extinguisher.”

Episode 310: Escorts In Aruba, BBL Confusion & Cold Plunge Chaos

This week’s episode of Happy Hour With Jay is packed with wild humans, spa mishaps, and just the right amount of unsolicited life advice. Jay’s got stories you’ll laugh at, cringe through, and probably replay for your friends.
📣 Shoutout to One Leg Kevin ~ Thanks For Being A Good Human

🔥 Meme of the Week:

• “Stop worrying if people like you… they don’t.”
• Back-Up Meme: “When you’re dead, you don’t know you're dead. The pain is only felt by others. The same thing happens when you’re stupid.” 💀

🚨 Happening Now:

• Jared’s on the pot (literally) and his stolen credit card hired an escort in Aruba. Capital One was… concerned.
• A SoCal Silver Fox gets tattooed, tokes too hard, and forgets how gas caps work. Jay to the rescue.
• Jay learns what a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) is—cue shock, confusion, and concern for humanity.
• The Golden Girls are out here vamping, crushing espresso martinis, and offering hits to strangers. Age is just a number.
• Waymo vs. Humans: A Scottsdale psycho Lyft ride helps Jay understand why robot cars might just be winning.

💪 Gym Tales:

• Sweet lady shows up smelling like a gallon of BenGay and crushes her treadmill workout. Respect.

🧖‍♂️ Spa Chronicles:

• Cold Plunge Chaos: A father-son duo turns the spa into a Disneyland ride.
• Soundtrack from Hell: From calm zen vibes to Dumb and Dumber screeching. You had to be there.
• No Nudity Allowed: Cold Plunge Fruit Salad. Enough said. (And thank goodness for rules.)

❌ Things I Won’t Do:

• Jay still refuses to grab the first can or box off the shelf. Yes, he’s that guy.

🥂 Buzzed Buddy Update:

• That Mother’s Day email? Fire. If you're not on the list, fix that.

🐥 Feel-Good Story of the Week:

• Jackpot the Duck ~ We all need a little help!

Episode 309: Barking Dogs, Book Reports & Belichick's Wild Love Life

This week on Happy Hour with Jay, we’re back with another uncensored, hilarious, and brutally honest rundown of what’s happening in the world—from the dog park to credit card fraud to Bill Belichick’s eyebrow-raising relationship. Buckle up.

Here's what we're getting into:

🎭 Meme of the Week:
“Don't put your drama on social media and then tell us to mind our business. Listen, I’m on Season 2, Episode 3 of your nonsense.”
You already know Jay has thoughts… and he’s watching.

💬 Listener Shoutout:
Jared comes in hot with a full-on book report about the podcast—likes, dislikes, analysis. Jay’s got to respond, because that level of feedback deserves a moment.

🐶 Dog Park Wisdom:
20 tiny dogs losing their minds. One big dog, chill and unbothered. Welcome to Earth in 2025. Jay breaks down why the loudest barkers rarely matter—and how you can be the calm, collected dog.

💳 Credit Card Chaos:
Top Golf. The NFL Courage Awards. Maryland. Fraud. Jay shares a personal tale that will make you think twice about how secure your info really is. (Spoiler: it’s not.)

🏈 Inside the NFL Awards:
From karaoke night with NFL punters to Cedric Benson stories and kicker kindness, Jay pulls back the curtain on what really goes down at the Ed Block Courage Awards weekend.

😳 Things That Make You Go “HUH?”
Bill Belichick, 73. Jordan Hudson, 24. A CBS interview. Uncomfortable levels of “ick.” Jay doesn’t hold back.

💪 Gym Tales You Can’t Unsee:
Dudes on the phone while at the urinal—make it make sense. One hand holding the phone, the other… well, occupied.

📲 Social Media Shenanigans:
If you’ve posted “Facebook does NOT have my permission…” Jay has a message for you: stop. Just stop. You’ve officially lost the plot.

🤚 Things Jay Refuses to Do:
Eat with his hands. He knows it’s weird. He owns it.

🍸 Buzzed Buddy Update:
We’ve officially partnered with Girl About Town! The movement to drink smarter and live better is growing—and this collab is one for the books.

📣 Call Out of the Week:
Generation Z, consider this your notice. Jay’s got a few words about the 13- to 28-year-old crew.

🧠 Final Message:
Stop wasting time worrying what people think of you. They aren’t. Everyone’s just trying to survive their own mess. And those that are thinking about you? That’s none of your business.

Episode 308: Jalapeños, Gym Jerks & “Oatzempic” Lies

In this episode of Happy Hour with Jay, we’re diving into jalapeños, gym jerks, and the internet's latest nutritional nonsense. Jay kicks it off with a spicy meme of the week and a reminder that just because someone’s smiling doesn’t mean they’re not onto your BS.

Here’s what we’re unpacking today:

🌶 Toxic Traits & Jalapeño Truths
Jay gets real about what it means to be “spicy”—and why people love the heat until they can’t handle the consequences.

🫢 May Momentum Is LIVE
Get fit, feel great, and then block Jay like you just discovered protein. The May program is for anyone who’s fallen off the rails and wants back on—with zero fluff.

🏈 NFL Draft Day
Today is Day 1 of the NFL Draft… could this finally be Jay’s year?! Stay tuned.

🏋️ Gym Etiquette: A Rant for the Ages
From Crocs with charms to full conversations on speakerphone, Jay breaks down the unspoken (but very necessary) gym rules everyone needs to follow.

📲 Social Media Shenanigans
Why does Facebook think Jay’s a jester? Is anything online even real anymore? And yes, 6’s are still acting like 10’s.

🥣 Trending Health Fads
Jay calls B.S. on “Oatzempic,” the viral oat-water-lime weight-loss drink, and shares a story from the early 2000s that proves history always repeats itself.

🍸 Cocktail Shaming, Sober Senseis & TikTok Drama

🥊 Callouts, Airing of Grievances, and a Final Message
From the lost art of waving to the decline of simple friendliness—Jay’s got thoughts. Plus, a dose of inspiration from someone who proves you’re never too old to throw a punch.

My message this week:
Be a good human. Be kind. Be real. Every day.

Episode 307: Louis Vuitton, Ladies in Space, and the Great Straw Debate (And Other Festival Season Observations)

Welcome to another wild round of Happy Hour With Jay — where we mix overpriced cologne, desert chaos, gym nonsense, and life wisdom into one delicious cocktail. 🍸

Here’s what’s on tap this week:

💸 Meme of the Week: My cologne is $330 before tax — not everyone deserves to smell this greatness. (Yes, I bought it. Yes, it’s Louis Vuitton. Yes, I regret nothing.)

🎡 Festival Madness: Coachella, Stagecoach, and Electric Daisy are in full swing — which means traffic jams, naked people in body paint at Ralph’s, and a beaver suit story you didn’t ask for but are absolutely getting.

🚫 Things I Won’t Do: Still refusing to drink out of a straw. Yes, Jared sent a pic of his giant Stanley WITH a straw. Yes, I was personally attacked.

🏃‍♀️ Gym Watch: A full-on stretching routine on a treadmill — no walking, just air-humping the side rails and walking away like nothing happened.

🌌 Trending: Ladies in space. WOW ~ the internet is buzzing over this one. 🥊 Inspo of the Week: Elisha’s 99-year-old grandma started BOXING to improve her balance. No excuses, people.

🍅 Vegas Tip of the Week: If you like drinks with a kick, hit up LPM for the Tomatini — it’s like a tomato got invited to a cocktail party and dressed up for it.

🧠 Buzzed Buddy Update: We’re working on getting BB into The Cosmopolitan. Yes, we dream big.

💡 My Message to You: Fear is a mile wide and an inch deep.

Plug in, laugh hard, and maybe reevaluate your stance on straws. 🎧

Episode 306: Coffee Conversions, Gym Shenanigans & Derby Hat Meltdowns

Welcome back to Happy Hour With Jay! This week, we’re covering everything from coffee chaos to questionable gym fashion choices, plus a reality TV update that proves some people will do anything for screen time.

☕ Meme of the Week: Stages of Coffee – Fun fact: I never drank coffee until Lori converted me on vacation. Now? I have thoughts—especially about Starbucks and the drive-thru disasters that await us all. Speaking of… Beverly with an IE, I do not need a breakfast sandwich; I need black coffee, fast, and with minimal chit-chat.

🏇 Starbucks Showdown – So I go inside to avoid the drive-thru madness, only to witness a Derby Hat Lady™ completely unraveling. She argued with the employees, the customers, and possibly even a dog. All this… and she left with an ice water. A true chef’s kiss of chaos.

🔥 Reality TV Update – Temptation Island = Dumpster Fire (in the best way).

🏋️‍♂️ Gym Fashion Report – Long sleeve shirt… with no body? Also, some savage decided to snack on Hershey Kisses while sitting on a public toilet—which is a level of comfort in life I will never achieve.

🚫 Things I Won’t Do – Drink out of a straw. And if you’re a dude carrying around a Stanley Cup with a built-in straw? I have questions.

📉 Social Media Shenanigans – The Get Lean Together crowd is out in full force, promising shredded abs by summer with strategies that make no sense.

🍸 Buzzed Buddy Update – Introducing the Saint Spritz—because drinking smart > drinking dumb.

🎰 Vegas Tip of the Week – You’re gonna want this one.

💡 My Message to You – The world gets better when YOU get better. We see the world as we are, not as it is. If you’re negative, dramatic, and full of hate, guess what you’re gonna see? Exactly that. But if you focus on improving yourself, that ripple effect spreads everywhere.

🚀 Trending Topics
⚡ Tesla: Seriously, what are we doing?

Saddle up, grab your drink, and let’s get into it—cheers! 🍻

Listen now & subscribe!

Internet Fights, Reality TV Regrets & The Blower Apocalypse

Welcome back to Happy Hour With Jay! This episode is packed with wild takes, deep thoughts, and maybe even a little bit of wisdom (but don’t hold me to that).

First up, Meme of the Week—because the internet remains undefeated in making us laugh.

Then, I’m talking about Ecstatic Dance—aka activating your inner child, or just an excuse to flail around without judgment. Either way, let’s get into it.

Reality TV update—did you know I was almost on Big Brother? Yeah, let’s unpack that before I lose all my credibility.

Then, we have grown adults fighting on the internet—because I can’t imagine sweet Barbara logging on to go full keyboard warrior over someone’s opinion on pineapple pizza. But here we are.

Next, let’s discuss the loudest, most unnecessary menace to society—those damn blowers. Why are they always at full blast at 7 AM? Science has yet to provide an answer.

Speaking of unnecessary stress, elementary school drop-off and pickup is a whole battlefield. If you know, you know.

Then, for my Vegas Tip of the Week, I’m putting you onto LPM Restaurant—home to an unreal ribeye cooked in a Josper oven (fancy name for an elite charcoal grill). Trust me, you need this in your life.

Of course, we’re wrapping up with some real talk:
🍸 Buzzed Buddy’s Cocktail of the Week—because drinking smarter is the move.
💡 The Good Life Formula—Monday Motivation, Health Hacks, and Did Ya Know? (Because knowing random stuff is fun.)
🔥 And finally, my message to you: It’s not about what you’re capable of—it’s about what you’re willing to do. Leave no doubt. Empty the bag.

Grab a drink, tune in, and let’s get into it—cheers! 🍻

Listen now & subscribe!

Episode 304: Water Buffalo, Space People & The Dumpster Fire of Fitness Advice

Welcome back to Happy Hour With Jay! Today, we’re kicking things off with a shoutout to Steve Ricks—because real ones deserve recognition. Then, did you know water buffalo can hold their breath for five minutes? That’s longer than most people can hold a plank—just saying.

Next, we’re diving into the absolute dumpster fire that is fitness advice on the internet. Social media might just be your worst enemy when it comes to getting fit, and I’m here to break down why.

Then, astronauts (aka Space People) just spent 286 days in space, and I have some thoughts. Because, honestly, how do they do it?

In the Reality TV corner, we’re talking Temptation Island and Mark Walberg—no, not that one, the other one. And in the Jared Update, let’s just say he’s found a unique way to brush up on his Spanish (hint: it involves tacos).

Speaking of tacos, imagine a perfect world where tortas don’t make you fat—wouldn’t that be nice?

And finally, a gym story that’ll make you rethink everything: The Gym vs. Victoria’s Secret. Let’s just say, young men today have no idea what a struggle it used to be.

Closing things out with some motivation—because fear is a mile wide and an inch deep, and it's time to break through it.

Grab your drink, sit back, and let’s get into it—cheers! 🍻

Listen now & subscribe!