Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat
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Narrated by:
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Derek J Young
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By:
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CHARLES BROOM
About this listen
•The characters and places in this book are purely non-coincidental. If anyone should take offence in the forthcoming tale please contact me and I will gladly leave the country.
•This book is dedicated to all those who take the time to read it, thank you.
•SQUELCH A STORY BY CHARLIE BROOM.WELCOME TO TIC-TAC-TOE
The land of Tic-Tac-Toe is to the left of your vision it is always there yet if you blink you will miss it. Fortunately I have had a bump on the head, a prerequisite for multiple journeys to this mixed up gibberish of a place. Our hero Squelch is of good and nearly good stock, the unlikely outcome of a union between a well known stolen racehorse and that woman with all the snakes on her head. Squelch is unorthodox in actual fact he has no religion, he has five legs, two arms, banana skin, removable orange eyes and pink / sky blue candyfloss hair, which people are always helping themselves to. Pretty average looking when all is said and done.
For work he keeps himself busy as a self- employed hurdler. Often winning although either very drunk or very silly people back him. Yes I have won a few pound on him, enabling me to spend my life writing. In his spare time Squelch likes to play the amateur detective, finding lost socks, marbles, chasing the culprits who knocked down ginger, solving the murder in the dark, and calling out the blind mans bluff.
Today is like any other the blue sun rises, grumpily as usual, she is not a morning person and shines her beautiful rainbow filed hues over the land. If she decided not to get up then everywhere would be dreary and grey, not much fun at all, so it has been decided that when she is altogether too cross, usually at the end of the day, the people would put a nice cool blanket on her and let her rest. After all hanging around all day is no good for anyone, so there is no surprise that she has a moody temperament. Squelch trots out of his bed, then over to his patio sugar-glass doors.
©2024 CHARLES BROOM (P)2024 CHARLES BROOMListeners also enjoyed...
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
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Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
- One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
- By: Jessica Pan
- Narrated by: Jessica Pan
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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Encouraging memoir: Sorry, cheer
- By Aaron Menz on 07-03-23
By: Jessica Pan
What listeners say about Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Knowledge1000
- 09-30-24
A Quirky and Fun Adventure
The narrator really brought Squelch and the land of Tic-Tac-Toe to life with all the quirky characters and silly situations. Squelch is such an oddball, with his five legs and candyfloss hair, and the story had me laughing throughout. It’s the perfect listen if you want something light and humorous. The whole thing feels like a playful escape into a bizarre and entertaining world. I had a great time with it!
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- Allison A.
- 10-24-24
A Trip To Tic-Tac-Toe
This audiobook is really fun, with a narrator who makes the characters come alive. The pacing keeps things interesting, balancing humor and heart nicely. Overall, it’s a great listen that keeps you wanting more.
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- JHughes
- 09-23-24
A Whodunit Mystery Adventure
Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat" is a quirky, imaginative mystery that delivers a delightful blend of humor, intrigue, and memorable characters. Set in a world where the bizarre is the norm, Squelch—a reluctant detective with a knack for getting into trouble—takes on his most unusual case yet: finding a missing scapegoat. Yes, an actual scapegoat.
The plot is filled with twists and turns as Squelch navigates a tangled web of suspects, from the eccentric townspeople to unlikely animals with secret motives. What makes this story particularly enjoyable is the author’s ability to balance lighthearted comedy with clever mystery elements, making the book feel both whimsical and engaging.
Squelch himself is a refreshingly imperfect protagonist. His dry wit and sarcastic observations bring a unique voice to the narrative, and his interactions with the equally odd supporting cast—each with their own secrets—add to the charm. The dialogue is sharp and entertaining, keeping readers hooked as they unravel the clues along with the detective.
This book is perfect for readers who enjoy offbeat mysteries with a touch of absurdity. It’s fun, fast-paced, and full of unexpected surprises. "Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat" proves that even the strangest of mysteries can make for a thoroughly entertaining read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jules
- 09-26-24
Adventures of Squelch
Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat is bizarre and enchanting at the same time. The main protagonist, Squelch, is a quirky character and his antics as a self-employed hurdler and amateur detective kept me chuckling throughout. The narrative is filled with imaginative details that make every scene vivid and engaging. The humor is light-hearted yet clever, making it perfect for listeners of all ages.
Overall, this audiobook is a fantastic escape into a wonderfully wacky universe,
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1 person found this helpful
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- J.Bite
- 09-28-24
Unique and entertaining
This audiobook is a wonderfully bizarre and imaginative tale that transports readers to the whimsical land of Tic-Tac-Toe, where nothing makes sense yet everything feels oddly right. The quirky hero, Squelch, is delightfully unorthodox, making every page a joy to read as he embarks on his strange yet humorous adventures. The writing is both playful and witty, filled with whimsical descriptions and colourful characters, like the grumpy blue sun, that bring this magical world to life.
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- James
- 09-27-24
Unique Story
Charles Broom's The Land of Tic-Tac-Toe is a delightful and imaginative journey into a world that is both familiar and utterly bizarre. With its quirky characters, absurd plotlines, and unexpected twists, this novel offers a refreshing escape from the mundane.
The protagonist, Squelch, is a truly unique individual. His appearance, with removable eyes and candyfloss hair, is as unconventional as his personality. Despite his unusual traits, Squelch is a relatable and endearing character who is easy to root for. His adventures, from his detective work to his hurdling career, are both hilarious and heartwarming.
Broom's writing style is witty and engaging. He has a knack for creating vivid imagery and crafting humorous dialogue. The world of Tic-Tac-Toe is both fantastical and grounded in a certain kind of logic, making it a truly immersive experience.
If you're looking for a fun and lighthearted read, The Land of Tic-Tac-Toe is definitely worth checking out. It's a perfect escape for anyone who appreciates a good dose of humor and imagination.
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