The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister: Vol. 1 Audiobook By Anne Lister, Helena Whitbread - editor cover art

The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister: Vol. 1

I Know My Own Heart

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The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister: Vol. 1

By: Anne Lister, Helena Whitbread - editor
Narrated by: Kristin Atherton
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Discover the extraordinary diaries of the real Anne Lister: the inspiration for Gentleman Jack and Emma Donoghue's novel Learned By Heart.

When this volume of Anne Lister's diaries was first published in 1988, it was hailed as a vital piece of lost lesbian history. The editor, Helena Whitbread, had spent years painstakingly researching and transcribing Lister's extensive journals, much of which were written in an elaborate code - what Lister called her 'crypthand', which allowed her to record her life in intimate, and at times, explicit, detail. Until then, Anne Lister's lesbianism had been supressed or hinted at; this was the first time her story had been told. Anne Lister defied the role of nineteenth century womanhood: she was bold, fiercely independent, a landowner, industrialist, traveller and lesbian - a woman who lived her life on her own terms.

These diaries include the years 1816-1824.

©2010 Helena Whitbread (P)2023 Hachette Audio UK
Biographies & Memoirs LGBTQ+ Studies Memoirs, Diaries & Correspondence Women Heartfelt
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Critic reviews

'Engaging, revealing, at times simply astonishing.' Sarah Waters

'[Anne Lister's] sense of self, and self-awareness, is what makes her modern to us... The diaries gave me courage.' Jeanette Winterson

'The Lister diaries are the Dead Sea Scrolls of lesbian history.' Emma Donoghue

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the challenges Anne faced in a society that did not accept same-sex relationships.

“The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister" is a powerful and captivating book that delves into the life of Anne Lister, a remarkable woman who lived in the 1800s. I would like to express my gratitude to Helena Whitbread for her meticulous translation of Anne's secret code, which allowed us to explore Anne's lesbian relationships with various lovers.

This book sheds light on the challenges Anne faced in a society that did not accept same-sex relationships. It is heartbreaking to witness the lengths Anne had to go through to keep her relationships hidden from the world. Throughout the story, a mix of joy and sadness is evoked as Anne's longing for love and companionship becomes evident.

In the second part of the book, Anne finally finds true love with Ann Walker, but further details are revealed in the subsequent book, which I am yet to read. The emotions that Anne experiences resonate deeply within me, as I can feel her pain and solitude in longing for a genuine connection. The impact of her relationship with M, who chose to marry for financial reasons, is also explored, highlighting the manipulation and false hope Anne endured.

Anne's commitment to M put her life on hold, and she regretted not pursuing other relationships in the hope of a future with M. However, it becomes increasingly clear that M prioritized money and a certain lifestyle over Anne's love. The affair between them had a profound impact on Anne's life, and she referred M relationship with her husband as a form of legal prostitution.

What struck me most about Anne's story is the profound loneliness she experienced and her desperate need for true love. All she desired was to be loved and chosen by someone. It is disheartening to witness the restrictions placed on women during that time, where marriage was often their main goal and their aspirations were limited.

I refrain from revealing too much about the book, as I believe it is best experienced firsthand. However, there is a pivotal event that occurs, causing Anne's love and admiration for M to wane. This event leads to a shift in Anne's perspective, and she begins to question the nature of her relationship with M.

"The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister" left me feeling both saddened by Anne's loneliness and inspired by her resilience. It is a powerful reminder of the importance of genuine love and acceptance. I highly recommend reading this book to truly appreciate Anne's journey.

I also want to mention that there is a second book that continues Anne's story, where Ann Walker play a big role in Anne's life and ultimately becomes Anne's wife. Additionally, there is a movie adaptation that I have yet to watch, but I plan to do so once I have read the second book.

I would like to express my gratitude to Helena Whitbread for her dedication in deciphering Anne's secret code, providing us with a valuable glimpse into the lives of lesbian and queer women during that time. I believe this book serves as a reminder that we should strive for a world where individuals can freely express their true selves and embrace their sexual orientation without fear of judgment or prejudice. This book also made me think about all the women who are afraid to be themselves and be with whom they want because they fear being judged by their family and friends for their attraction to women. I hope that one day these women can truly be themselves, find freedom, and align with their true sexual orientation. I hope they do not waste their lives and years with someone they do not love, unable to express their true sexual orientation due to fear of judgment. May these women find freedom and one day align with their true sexual orientation.

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Her words are pure, honest, and brilliantly wrapped with a side of afternoon tea!

To Helena Whitbread (and many others) who spent countless hours transcribing her words, thank you! What a priceless gift you have given.
If you do not know Anne Lister, you should.

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Anne Lister's Diaries are Amazing

When I first learned about Lister's diaries while browsing on my library's website, I knew I wanted to read them. A 19th-century lesbian who was a prolific journal writer and defied gender norms? Count me in! And I when I saw Vol. 1 of her diaries were going to be available on Audible, I knew I wanted it.

Anne was a strong, fierce and passionate person who wanted a loving partner and the finer things in life (intellectual pursuits, a nice home, a good steady income, etc.). Some of those things were guaranteed because she was the heir to her childless aunt and uncle (fortune and home were set), but had to wait until her uncle passed away to inherit. Because her father was inept at managing money and her uncle had poor health, she did have things to do that kept her busy but she was also restless and desirous of improvement. As a result, she could also be snobbish, proud and tactless, which meant she was often lonely and unable to understand why people shunned her or were hurt by her actions or manner. I am always struck by often she complains about someone being vulgar, but then being surprised when they stop asking her to do things (like the Saltmarshes); did she not draw a connection, did she expect her being around to improve people for half an hour or did she not realize that after declining every invitation to parties and events, she'd stop being invited after awhile (she even notes this in conversation at one point)?

Anne's toughest road was her on/off relationship with Mariana Lawton (nee Belcombe), her former lover who she initially wanted to build a life with but married a man for security and whom Anne never really forgave for it. The incident at Scarborough illustrates this best; Anne is unable to forget it and though Mariana tries to rationalize and placate or soothe and even Anne will make some allowances, she will also never forget or forgive and it's constantly brought up again and again (and will be if they do Vol. 2 of the diaries too).

It's hard to know Mariana Lawton's character because we can only see her through Anne's eyes, who obviously adores her but is also blinded too. Anne is constantly wondering if Mariana loves her and even when Mariana and she spend nights together, it's not enough to prove their bond. Anne only questions the strength of their relationship after Scarborough and then starts to see Mariana as flawed slowly. But if she was really that way, was manipulative, conflicted about her feelings, ashamed about Anne as the former suspected, etc., is hard to say since we have only Anne's journals to give one POV.

Though she was often hurt and felt unloved and vulnerable because of her own actions and desires, Anne lived life as she wanted to and despite societal expectations, with who she wanted to. For those of us in the LGBTQ+ community and even those who aren't, wanting to live life in a way that suits your needs best even if people don't understand them is something I think we can all understand.

While Anne Lister is considered a lesbian in most modern accounts (though she never had a term for herself other than "oddity"), some do coin her as a trans, nonbinary or gender nonconforming person based on her presentation and probably on some of the diary entries mentioning sexual fantasies and her issues surrounding clothing (which I also sympathize with). I believe in Halifax today, they have noted this distinction in recent times, especially since the filming of the Gentleman Jack TV series and the tourism at Shibden which you can visit today.

I loved Kristin Atherton's performance in this book. She read everything so nicely, especially when her voice drops for the crypt-hand sections. I imagine that's what Anne sounded like when she was thinking about her entries, whether she was brisque, despairing, seductive, musing, etc. If they record Vol. 2, I hope Atherton does that one as well.

I highly recommend this if you loved the Gentleman Jack series, but even if you didn't/haven't yet seen the show and/or want to read about a very special and colorful person in LGBTQ+ history who lived life on their own terms, here's your book!

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