Showing results by author "Joe R Lansdale" in All Categories

If there’s one thing Hap Collins and Leonard Pine like, it’s trouble - and they especially like getting paid to find it. So when their friend and sometime boss Marvin Harmon asks the boys to look into a cold-case double homicide, they’re happy to oblige. It turns out that both victims were set to inherit some serious money, and one of them ran with an honest-to-goodness vampire cult. The more closely Hap and Leonard look over the crime-scene photos, the more trouble they see.

When Bill and his friends accidentally witness a homicide by two hitmen known only as Fat Boy and Cobra Man, everyone but Bill is slaughtered. After escaping by the skin of his teeth, Bill runs to his Uncle Hank, who reluctantly gets involved, and together, they begin a clandestine takedown of Fat Boy and Cobra Man that leads them to something much darker, much more unspeakable than simple murder or revenge. Waltz of Shadows, a novel not for the feint of heart, is Lansdale at his darkest.

Dot waitresses on roller skates at the Dairy Bob, doesn't care for smoking, at least partly on account of her dad having never returned from a cigarette run, and carries on the family tradition of philosophizing. Life hasn't done her any favors in her 17 years so far. But if there was ever a heroine built for turning things upside down and seeing what shakes out, it's Dot. Determined to find out who she is and why she's the way she is, an opportunity presents itself when her heretofore-unknown uncle suddenly moves his camper into the front yard.

Charlie Garner has a bad feeling. His ex-wife, Meg, has been missing for over a week and one quick peek into her home shows all her possessions packed up in boxes. Neighbors claim she’s running from bill collectors, but Charlie suspects something more sinister is afoot. Meg was last seen working at the local donut shop, a business run by a shadow group most refer to as ‘The Saucer People’; a space-age, evangelist cult who believe their compound to be the site of an extraterrestrial Second Coming.

In this rollicking, rollercoaster ride of a novel, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine take a break from their day jobs to search for Florida Grange, Leonard's drop-dead gorgeous lawyer and Hap's former lover, who has vanished in the Klan-infested East Texas town of Grovetown. Before she disappeared, Florida was digging up some dirt behind the mysterious jailhouse death of a legendary black bluesman's son, who was in possession of some priceless blues recordings. To Hap and Leonard, something doesn't smell right.

Y’ALL AIN’T RIGHT is an anthology of Southern Extreme Horror stories featuring 17 of the best extreme horror authors in the genre. From gator infested swamps to the overgrown backwoods, be careful how far you venture off of the main road. And if you hear banjos… well, you better paddle faster!

How lucky do you feel? Matthew Sellers revealed the truth of Limbus, Inc. to the world, and in his tales of time travelers, intergalactic beings, and human sacrifice, he thought he had told it all. But the story of the shadowy employment agency that operates on the edge of the abyss, always finding the perfect person for the perfect job - no matter what the cost - had only begun. This shared-world anthology continues the story of Limbus, Inc., as told by five masters of horror, fantasy, and science fiction.

Only Hap and Leonard would catch a cold case with hot cars, hot women, and ugly skinheads. The story starts simply enough when Hap, a former '60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough black, gay Vietnam vet and Republican with an addiction to Dr. Pepper, are working a freelance surveillance job in East Texas. The uneventful stakeout is coming to an end when the pair witness a man abusing his dog.

Hap Collins is an east Texas redneck, with a liberal bent, and a weakness for Texas women. Leonard Pine is a black, gay, Vietnam veteran. Not who you'd normally pick for best friends but there you go. Together they share an affinity for the martial arts and are a bundle of trouble, but trouble is what they love.

Hap and Leonard are an unlikely pair - Hap, a self-proclaimed white-trash rebel - and Leonard - a tough-as-nails black, gay Vietnam vet and Republican - but they're the closest friend either of them has in the world. After years of crime-solving companionship, something's changed: Hap, recently married to their PI boss, Brett, is now a family man. Amid the worst flood East Texas has seen in years, the two run across a woman who's had her tongue nearly cut out, pursued by a heavily armed pair of goons. Turns out the girl survived a mob hit, and the boss has come to clean up the mess.

Throughout history and infinite dimensions, there exists a secret group of supernatural investigators operating on the fringes of society, lurking in the shadows, working strange cases with little reward. They are hardboiled zombies and ghosts, mythological creatures, ass-kicking vampires, tortured humans, and uncanny sleuths whose normal is the bizarre and weird.

Ed Edwards is in the used-car business, a business built on adjusted odometers, extra-fine print, and the belief that "buyers better beware". Burdened by an aging, alcoholic mother constantly on his case to do something worthier of his lighter skin tone and dreaming of a brighter future for himself and his plucky little sister, Ed is ready to get out of the game. When Dave, his lazy, grease-stained boss at the eponymous dealership Smiling Dave's sends him to repossess a Cadillac, Ed finally gets the chance to escape his miserable life.

Spanning over twenty years, 20 masters and modern authors of hardcore horror share their most bad-ass stories in this special edition from Red Room Press. Many hard to find and out of print, some that were banned, Necro Files covers every imaginable mode of mayhem with stories that dial into the dark side of human nature.

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are best friends, yet they couldn't be more different. Hap is an east Texas white boy with a weakness for Texas women. Leonard is a black, gay Vietnam vet. Together, they stir up more commotion than a fire storm. But that's just the way they like it. So when as ex-flame of Hap's returns promising a huge score, Hap lets Leonard in on the scam, and that's when things get interesting.

Minnie Polson is dead. Burned to a crisp in a fire so big and bad it had to be deliberate. The only thing worse is that Hap and Leonard could have prevented it. Maybe. Minnie had a feeling she was being targeted, shaken down by some shadowy force. However, when she’d solicited Hap & Leonard, all it took was one off color joke to turn her sour and she’d called them off the investigation. Wracked with a guilty conscience, the two PIs—along with Hap’s fleet-footed wife, Brett—tuck in to the case.

It's 1933 in East Texas and the Depression lingers in the air like a slow-moving storm. When a young Harry Collins and his little sister stumble across the body of a black woman who has been savagely mutilated and left to die in the bottoms of the Sabine River, their small town is instantly charged with tension. When a second body turns up, this time of a white woman, there is little Harry can do from stopping his Klan neighbors from lynching an innocent black man.

In the field of country noir—the dark side of rural and small-town America—Lansdale staked his claim to East Texas with The Nightrunners. A '66 Chevy bears down on the countryside, with a carful of vicious teenagers and evil of Biblical proportions, in this terrifying morality tale of sex and violence.

Jack Parker knows all too well how treacherous turn-of-the-century East Texas can be. His parents did not survive a smallpox epidemic. His grandfather was murdered. Now his sister Lula has been kidnapped by a criminal who may believe wearing a dead man's clothes protects them both from death. With bounty hunter Shorty, a charismatic and cunning dwarf, and Eustace, a gravedigging son of an ex-slave, the heartbroken young Jack sets off on an epic quest to rescue his sister from the corrupt men who control much of the new territory.

Sunset Jones has just killed her husband. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of a small sawmill settlement called Camp Rapture where no woman refuses her husband. So everyone is angrily surprised when Sunset becomes the new constable and investigates murders in which her late husband might be implicated. Yet, no one is more surprised than Sunset when the murders lead her, not only to the conclusion of the case, but to a well of inner strength she never knew she had.

The Drive-In 3: The Bus Tour, book three in The Drive-In series by Joe R. Lansdale, is a continuation of a series about the drive-in theater where patrons are trapped by alien "gods".