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How to Talk to Your Kids About Death

By: Jessica Borelli, The Great Courses
Narrated by: Jessica Borelli
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Publisher's summary

The experience of loss is universal, and yet grief is a varied and individual ordeal. Children especially need comfort and guidance when dealing with the confusion and intense emotions of a loss, and it is up to the adults in their lives to provide this crucial support—but our own emotions can make this difficult task even more daunting.

In the six lectures of How to Talk to Your Kids About Death, professor and practicing psychologist Dr. Jessica Borelli will help you navigate the complexities of discussing death with children in a way that offers them the support and attention they need at such a confusing time. With Dr. Borelli’s guidance, you’ll learn:

  • Why it is crucial to center yourself first so you are better prepared to help others;
  • What kind of language to use to best present distressing information;
  • To see from a child’s perspective to better understand and anticipate their reactions;
  • Why it is important to try to discuss death and dying before a child actually experiences loss;
  • How to help process emotions beyond sadness—such as fear, anger, or guilt.

These and other aspects of communication will form an invaluable toolbox for when you must deal with the difficult conversations surrounding death and mortality. By looking at these conversations from the perspective of a child—someone lacking the crucial tools and experience to process grief on their own—you will be better prepared for this unfortunate but inevitable situation. Whether you must prepare a child for the death of a beloved pet or deliver the news of a sudden illness in the family, the strategies Dr. Borelli provides will help you be the empathetic, supportive, and reassuring presence every child needs in times of grief and loss.

©2024 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2024 Audible Originals, LLC.
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About the Creator - Dr. Jessica Borelli

About the Creator and Performer

Dr. Jessica Borelli is a professor of psychological science at the University of California, Irvine, and the clinical director of Compass Therapy, a private practice in Newport Beach, California, specializing in children and families. She received her PhD from Yale University and completed her clinical residency at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Her work focuses on children's mental health and social relationships, and she has published more than 150 peer-reviewed journal articles. Her research focuses on examining the links between parent-child relationships, emotions, and health, as well as developing ways to promote resilience through strengthening relationships. Jessica has a strong interest in understanding and promoting family resilience in various contexts, including military families. She is the author of Nature Meets Nurture: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Resilient Kids and Relational Savoring: Using Guided Reflection to Strengthen Relationships and Improve Outcomes in Therapy.

What listeners say about How to Talk to Your Kids About Death

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Practical steps and reassuring advice!

Jessica Borelli offers practical suggestions for what can be an overwhelming topic. She talks about what steps to take in conversations with children of different ages and how to care for ourselves. Her advice helps talk about death and converse with children and adults about other difficult topics. The lectures provide a valuable toolbox for handling various scenarios, from pet loss to family illness. Dr. Borelli's expertise as a practicing psychologist lends credibility to the content.

While the subject matter is inherently heavy, the course offers a balanced, supportive approach. It could be particularly beneficial for parents, educators, and caregivers seeking to provide children with the emotional support they need during times of loss. Dr. Borelli's audiobook is a thoughtful, well-structured resource for anyone looking to navigate this difficult but essential aspect of child development and family communication.

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Sensitive, Practical, and Effective

No one wants to experience the death of a loved one, but the idea of having to break news of that death to your vulnerable child as you yourself grieve over that loss is possibly your worst nightmare. In How to Talk to Your Kids About Death, Psychologist/Professor Jessica Borelli takes the listener sensitively and empathetically through the whens, wheres, whys, and hows of navigating the distressing task of sharing devastating news. She presents options that allow for individual parenting styles and respect differences in children's coping styles and differences in cultural and religious traditions. In some cases the suggestions allow for flexibility, and in some cases the recommendations are firm and specific. Dr. Borelli offers research support for her recommendations and examples to explain her reasoning, all with complete clarity. To the listener, the recommendations and step-by-step processes are a comfort and make perfect sense. What a gift to all of us who someday will need guidance through this unbearably complex task in the midst of grieving a personal loss. And what a gift to your child, who looks to you for strength and reassurance, and finds it! Thank you to Dr. Borelli for this most important presentation.

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